A Novel By
Karima Shaheen
Translated and Introduced By
Dr. Basheer Eisawy
Lecturer of English Literature,
College of Education, Mansourah University
Cairo,
August, 2004
Translator’s Introduction
Kareemah Shaheen’s, Something of My Heart (1996) is one of the fewest novels written as a reaction to the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait in August 1990. Jassem Alnasser, the coach of the national football team, is admired by a group of the school girls where his sister studies. The girls take the chance to see him whenever he comes to collect his sister from school. Collecting children –as well high school girls- from schools is a living tradition in the Gulf States. High school girls are paid more attention because they are seen as the future brides. It is common in the Gulf to marry a girl of 15-18 years old regardless of finishing the high school certificate or not. As usual, this national star –Jassem- becomes the most important topic for the dialogues of all school girls as well as his teenage girl relatives.
Jassem is not only a footballer; he is also a famous cardiologist. He is punctual to his job at the first national hospital in Kuwait. He is a regular contributor to number of symposia and conferences inside and outside Kuwait.
The descriptive and narrative style of Kareemah Shaheen is quite effective on her readers. There are a lot of passions and feelings that are introduced in a very objective way. Mrs. Shaheen, though dealing with an issue she sympathizes with, seemed objective in relating the incidents of her novel. “Dalal wiped her tears and forgot about her sorrows, then got up to wear such exciting, daring clothes as usual, wearing such a nice perfume and she looked very mature of a special look as she had all the qualifications of charm and beauty that can impress others easily specially after her figure had become well-rounded specially after her pregnancy and after delivery; her sexy bumpy figure was shown in the clearest way ever. Anyway, Dalal went on to meet Jassem in Mubarak Al-Kabeer Hospital in Al-Jabiryah and she was walking deliberately in very daring steps for she hates to feel depressed, gloomy, sad, and frustrated specially after remembering how she was overwhelmed with grief when she fell on earth on knowing the news of Jassem and Souad’s marriage.”
The novel discusses intelligently and daringly the status of love relationship between men and women in Kuwait, and maybe in the Gulf, in an open way for the first time in the history of literature of that area. Although Mrs. Shaheen is non-Kuwaiti, she managed to imitate the Kuwaiti life and the Kuwaiti man as they are and –in many occasions- better than they are. She managed to expose the secrets of the Kuwaiti hearts in a way that may change the stereotype images in the West about the Kuwaiti women and men. Love and marriage are seen as something destined by God and accepted by the families in the novel. But, the young men and women –in the novel- try to object to it. They endeavor to bring about a new status opposing the ipso facto implemented by the parents and their severe authority in many parts of the Arab world.
“Souad relaxed while she was trying to hardly take her breath because of the extreme heat, conglomeration and crowdedness. She put her school bag under her seat. She took a long and deep breath while bringing her face close to the glass window. She, coldly, looked at the big yard where many private cars were parked. She looked carelessly at the faces of the parents who came to collect their girls from school.”
The occupation ,as well as, the liberation of Kuwait were introduce in the novel very smoothly without any demagogic discourse on the importance of giving the national issues the top priority. Therefore, all characters in the novel either take part in the military resistance against the Iraqi soldiers or the morally support the resistance groups.
There remains to say that Mrs. Shaheen’s work is a great contribution to the feminist literature in the Gulf area, the Arab World and the Moslem World in general.
Dr. Basheer Eisawy,
Cairo, August 2004
Chapter 1
At School
As soon as the school bell rang announcing the end of the last class, the school girls moved quickly towards the buses. Souad, who was moving quietly ant trustfully, was one of them. She embraced her school bag while coming close to the bus. She climbed the bus stairs exerting a great effort to find her way into the crowd of students to reach the last seat in the back of the bus, where she used to sit everyday.
Souad relaxed while she was trying to take her breath with a great complexity because of the extreme heat, conglomeration and crowdedness. She put her school bag under her seat. She took a long and deep breath while bringing her face close to the glass window. She, coldly, looked at the big yard where many private cars were parked. She looked carelessly at the faces of parents who came to collect their daughters from school.
Time passes very boringly and slowly as buses are still waiting for girls to climb them. Souad was sitting in her seat wishing for the overwhelming crowd to disappear so as to return home as usual.
Suddenly, in the middle of this still boring wait, Souad was deafened by the cries of all girls coming towards her while their eyes were glaring. They went as far as the last seat in a fit of madness and hallucination where they glued their faces to the back windshield. They were crying repeatedly and madly, “Jassem Alnasser, Jassem Alnasser”. They were waiving their hands in a terrific passion mixed with unprecedented, enthusiastic and wild happiness to salute the famous football team player. Souad was trying feverishly to keep an area of the glass window to look at Jassem Alnasser. While her folded body was about to collapse under the heavy weight of the enthusiastically shouting girls, Souad tried to keep her body upright. The nearer Jassem’s sports red car came towards the bus, the louder the girls shouted. Their shoulders became tact and their heads blocked the windows. Also, Souad felt almost suffocated. She tried to lift her head to take a breath while fighting to follow up the situation outside the bus. She went on looking at Jassem in his car. Souad observed Laila while the latter was talking to Jassem who got out of his car to stand with her friends who ran towards Jassem to salute him. They were talking to him curiously, pleasantly and surprisingly. The girls went away after the Indian bus drivers started to blow the horns of their buses crazily moving them away. All students went to the bus on their way home except for one who kept standing and refused to move at all. She seemed to care for nobody but herself as if he were the only remaining human being. That was Dalal who moved towards the bus coercively after she realized that the bus would depart without her. Jassem asked his sister Laila, “Where is Souad? Why did not she come without us to drive her home?” Laila answered laughingly while she was pointing to one of the buses, “Souad is sitting in the bus. She feels shy to ride with us.”
Jassem followed where his sister pointed and very quickly saw Souad’s beautiful face behind the glass window. Eyes met instantly. Souad lowered here eyes shamefully and confusedly while Jassem was looking towards her smiling to and enquiring about her not coming with them.
In a few moments, the crowd was over after Jassem left and his red sports car disappeared. Students came back to their seats saying loudly, repeatedly and very enthusiastically, “Oh, you, the blue[1] Kuwait play in the playground.” The Kuwaiti national football team wears a blue T-shirt and white shorts.
Souad observed them while smiling ashamed as they are extremely excited and moved even after he disappears!
Moreover, they were still mentioning his name, talking about him and give details of his length, broad shoulders, smartness and fame. Even his sports wear and his red car were talked of. Souad smiled more while taking pride of her self because this famous sports young man, who was dreamt of by all the girls of her school, is nothing but Jassem, her cousin!
In fact, it was not the halo it of Jassem to come too much to accompany Lila. He has come only twice this year since she joined the secondary school. He was forced to com in response to her wish after asking him many a time to do that. Laila knew that very well, but she was very happy and proud of her brother and his fame which made of him a glittering star in the circles of the community. He was the goal keeper and the first attacker of the national football team, who scores invisibly and power fully the goals of the national team and his sports club.
Laila realized that just that the appearance of Jassem with her at the gate of school is bound to cause a revolution amongst the students. She liked that and was happy with it. She was seen as the sister of the champion. Also, she was the only one circled by the girls, later, asking for her friendships, fondling her, asking for her phone number, the most convenient time to phone her. Most importantly was, what, time Jassem was at home, what were his appointments like, when he goes to the club, and what he eats. In addition, how he treats members of his family, is he arrogant? What is the most favorite for him? And other questions that ask about the what, the when and the why.
Laila laughs cunningly on imagining the scene of the girl students the following day while waiting feverishly for her arrival to school. She knows that the situation will be different because students of the high school are larger and more daring than students at the intermediate school. She knows, also, they will ask her to tell Jassem of their admiration of him and that they will ask for his phone number. Some of them will be interested in talking to him of important or seemingly important topics. Others may ask about the next time he will take her from school to be ready to receive him with dressed hair and their faces covered with make-up. Others and others will wait and ask!!
Laila knew that most of the school students would never object to show their admiration of Jassem and would show a confirmed wish to befriend her. Moreover, they would try to approach her and show great love for her although she was still a first year student. Most of them were at the fourth year at the high school. Dalal, the vivid, graceful and tall girl, was on the top of these students while Souad –her cousin- of the third year, at the high school, felt shy to appear with Jassem in front of the students. Although she greatly admired him, she was afraid that school girls might talk of her and hurt her reputation, the same way they did with their colleague Dalal who did not survive their gossip.
True, they have not left Dalal in peace since the day they saw her standing with Jassem for a long time talking to her on coming to school to collect his sister. From that time on, they did not stop hinting and alluding to her. It was strange that Dalal did not care about them this time, as well. She did not care about their jealousy and gossip. She stood amongst them showing her admiration of Jassem. She, also, showed her interest in talking to him against the difficult surrounding conditions and the inconvenience of the place and time.
Souad, from her safe seat on the last school bus, was observing Dalal. Souad wondered about the excessive prudence of Dalal. The first was surprised by the movements of the second, who was almost jumping. The latter seemed as if she were unable to have herself as all parts of her body- including her head, shoulders, hands, waist and feet- were shaking, quaking and moving!!
Souad feels a burning touch of jealousy. She knows the great admiration of Dalal for Jassem. She, also, knows the relationship between her father and her mother. But she sighed her relief because she knew that Jassem’s mother neither loves Dalal nor stands her mother.
Therefore, she did not worry much about her. She trusted her aunt’s love for her who considered Souad one of her daughter’s.
Gradually, she goes to the world of imagination to dream of herself with Jassem whom she admired when she was only ten years old. She wished to spend her life with him to let the whole world know that Jassem is her love, only love and not shred by any body else!
Souad recollected how she loved Jassem silently for long years. She also’ recollected how she spent the night thinking of , dreaming about and wishing for the magical moment in which he would announce her love for her and the whole world knows that Souad is his love, only love. But, unfortunately, he did not. She did not know why! She did not know! She did not know!
The whole club loved Jassem and admired his morals and his character. That sports character became more famous and glittering during the finals of Moscow Olympiads which were held in Baghdad seven months ago. There, the national football teams of Iraq and Kuwait played with each other in March of this year (1989- the translator) the first half of the match was ended 2 to nil for Iraq.
But, in the second half, the match result was turned over. After the coach made some changes amongst the players, the Kuwaiti team had dominated the playground and managed to score two quick goals. As soon as possible, they scored a third goal to finish the match for the welfare of Kuwait, which became a candidate for Moscow finals.
The Kuwaiti people were shouting, they were crying happily. Happiness had filled all the streets and the young men went out to the streets dancing inside and outside their cars displaying the Kuwait flags proud of this great sports victory which was won worthily, forcibly and efficiently in that crucial match. Ah, long live the footballers, long live the footballers, long live Kuwait, long live Kuwait.
Souad had recollected how her younger brother Faisal, the handball player at the same club, was jealous of Jassem. Many a time, small situations took place which soured the relationship between them. But Jassem used to take these things in a sports man spirit and conclude it peacefully. On the other hand, it was not easy for Faisal to give up easily for Jassem, his only antagonist in the club. Therefore, he found another means. He drew the attention of the others by getting the most up to date watches and cars which were of the most expensive in terms of price and seductive form.
Although the financial status of the two young men varied, the character of Jassem who was spontaneous and influential, did not give any consideration to this trivial contest. The girls still prefer Jassem and can not but disclose their admiration of him.
Whatever happens, Jassem Alnasser remains the first club star, who is beloved by all. He is the star of the national team at Moscow tournament in which he played against the Soviet Union team. The match was so important that Mr. Gorbachev had delayed an important meeting to watch this important match.
Events take place, situations become similar to each other, and days pass very quickly. Weeks, moths and seasons follow each other while Jassem is busy with football, the sport which he had loved since childhood. His other said laughingly, “Jassem had learnt football before he learnt walking. For sure, he was training in my abdomen!”
Souad remained moving in her private orbit as she was hiding her feelings to all people. She even hid her feelings to herself. She is afraid that anybody –even her most intimate such as her mother and Laila, her cousin- may know about her hidden feelings. Souad is –by nature- shy, sensitive, quiet, cool, low-voiced and lowered-eyed though has much passion and is full of sense.
Days go on, nights and hours pass while the conditions of life unite and disunite them now and then. The school year comes to an end. Dalal joined the department of English at the faculty of arts. That gave her a bigger chance to pursue Jassem, get in touch with him and meet him even if he were at Sbbah Hospital in which he was employed as an internist.
She used to go to him frequently pretending that she had a new ailment every time. Also, she did not stop attending all the matches without missing any one of them. On the other hand, Souad was still bathing into her wide and silent world trying to spend her time reading books, listening to the quiet music which has tender and dreaming tones especially of her favorite singer Awad Aldookhi, whose voice has attracted since she was a child as she used to go for a picnic with her father in their car. She used to sing unheard his favorite song:
O, Night m you became our own
O, Night m you became our own
The Night has the best party friends
My beautiful lady exceeded description
When I went through the gate of love
My enemies said that I was only a student.
O, Night m you became our own,
O, Night m you became our own.
In fact, Jassem was one of the far-reached dreams of Souad. His unusual extended tall, his strongly fibered muscles, his giant and prominent shoulders, his wide and big chest and his heavy black hair, which –if it gets wet, it falls loose on his strong big neck. All these made him a mythical hero who rules and controls her kingdom. Although he used to attack sweepingly the counter football teams and always scored goals of victory for his team in almost all matches, he did not think -unfortunately- for one day to attack her, or even look at her as a goal.
Sighing her relief sadly, Souad had realized that she was never a target for Jassem. She, also, conceived that he never saw her in the past and would never see her in the future!! She finally condoled herself saying, “Once upon a time, he may have a passion for me.”
When Souad got off her seat, she boringly threw a story which she did not finish reading. Ah, her attempt to read had –for the thousandth time- failed. There is no way, there is no use. Jassem lives in the depth of her depths. Whenever she tried to disconnect herself from him, or forget him, she found him forcefully and persistently occupying her thought. He captured her passions and over-dominated her feelings and actions. She has an everlasting feeling that he is always there in her world. What a painful thing! He is busy with Dalal, the girl who is full of freshness, beauty, cheerfulness and joy. She could, with her exciting appearance, ensnare and deafen all her viewers. She has long brown hair, golden-hazel eyes, and pinky pure skin while her body is packed with feminism and stimulation.
Souad does not long stand the situation. The fire of jealousy, raised by Dalal, burns her heart. She preens herself at the mirror in her wardrobe. She looks at her tall body and synchronized beautiful complexion. She shakes her black soft hair which reaches as far as her shoulders. She looks at her wide tender black eyes. She feels more anxious while remembering Jassem’s eyes. She smiles once and twice because there is clear-cut similarity between their eyes in particular.
She lies in her luxurious seat with her head to the back of the seat. She realizes that Jassem’s world is too wide to absorb her. He does not feel of her and has no passions for her. Souad remains suffering though her deep love for him, her great admiration of him and her permanent anxiety to join with him. She wonders while hearing the news of his many and diverse interviews with Dalal who has not concealed her admiration and love for him since both were school girls.
Souad wakes up from her seat at the voice of her father who calls upon her to talk, on the phone, to her brother Abdullah, who studies engineering, at the States. She hurries to talk to him and asks him about his news. She sits with her father who likes her more than himself. Her father has felt that he is connected to her since she came to life. She sits happily beside him. She feels friendly with her father’s sweet company which keeps her away from her heart. With him, she forgets her ideas that remind her of her hopeless love and permanent torture.
When the telephone call was finished, Badr –her brother- observed her muteness as much as the tears in the eyes of his mother came out. Suddenly, he jumped to imitate the famous star Abdulhussein Abdlulredah[2] in his comedy The Salemiyah Bachelor, which he attended last night for the fifth time and almost recited it.
Badr is so absorbed in imitating the roles of Abdulhussein Abdlulredah and Souad Alabdullah[3] to the point that his hearers may believe that both the actor and the actress are really there and that they are on the stage playing their roles in front of the audience! Badr’s impressions were perfectly accurate even as related to the voice, action and playing.
Souad laughed heartedly while her mother felt happy by wearing a happy smile at the sweetness of her son who admired that great star actor. Badr knows that his mother likes that actor and his acting. That is why he likes to imitate him for his mother to make her laugh and bring happiness to her heart.
Truly, his mother has loved him too much since he was born five years before Souad. He was born with colored eyes, blonde hair, white skinned and rounded face like a small crescent. Therefore, his family called him Badr. They loved him and surrounded him with all aspects of tenderness and care. They paid too special care for his bringing up so as to grow tender-hearted, kind, courteous, full of love and duty to all. When he finished his high school, his elder brothers objected to his joining the High Institute of Dramatic Arts. But his father supported his wish as he believed in art and its sublime message as related to ameliorating the human soul and the role of art towards changing the ideas of people and the community.
On one of the summer hot nights, while Souad was visiting the house of her aunt, she talked to Laila about the vacation, the summer and traveling. They, also, talked about whether they would go to London or not. Their uncle Abu Ibraheem and his family went to London early this year. Souad said that her father’s apartment, which was next door to her uncle’s, was vacant as Faisal would not go to London this year because his wife would go to Paris with her family. Also, Abdullah would go to America.
Before the two girls finished their talk, the sound of the red sports car had deafened the ears of all members of the family. In no time, Jassem went into the house saluting all –noisily as usual. He bowed kissing warmly and anxiously the hands of his aunt who was sitting on the floor. He moved towards Laila’s room. He knocked at the door to welcome Souad and to salute his younger sister whom he loves and endears. He still thinks that she is a child worthy of endearing and loving. He asked her, “Ha, who were you backbiting?” Laila laughs and answers him heedlessly, “We are talking about you Jassem.” He asks surprisingly, “About me? Were you saying good or bad things?” Laila answers him cunningly, “We were saying that you were hard, conceited and you do not understand …” He interrupted her, “I do not understand? Who said so?” Laila pointed towards her cousin saying, “Souad did. In fact, she said that while she loved you deeply. You did not care about her and did not pay attention to her.”
As soon as Jassem has exploded in laughter, Laila responded his laughter similarly while Souad was sitting mute and pale-faced. Her face turned red, then pale, red again and was stuttering while trying to speak. She tried to keep her eyes away from Jassem’s while looking at Laila as if she were looking for an outlet.
Laila looked at Souad as surprisingly as Jassem had looked at her. The brother and the sister exchanged looks which denote that they understood the truth of each other’s feelings. Souad tried and struggled too hard to hide, disguise and deaden them.
Chapter Two
The Cry of Love
Jassem comprehended Souad’s feelings at that critical moment when Laila drew his attention to the feelings of Souad. But, he was not sure of the genuineness of these feelings. It is impossible for him to know the reality of the others’ feelings just out of a quick teasing. Therefore, he did not think of the matter too much because he was busy with other things, in addition to his being busy with Dalal. He quickly forgot all about Souad.
Things stay following each and coming after each other as they used to. Jassem’s family has its habits and traditions. Ahmad Alnasser, the father, the brigadier at the Ministry of Defense, is a militant whose life is all dedicated to control, organization and accuracy- always wants to apply that military style to everything in his life. Therefore, before he talks of anything, all members of the family know what he wants and what they shall do in advance. They, also, know what to do or what not to do with respect and understanding instead of haughtiness and pride.
Jassem was greatly attracted to the character of his father. He was an easy and a difficult person meantime. He was accurate, organized, disciplined and knew exactly when to talk and when to keep quiet. He was really a capable person who knew exactly what he wanted. He was always able to achieve his goals without any need for much talk or void phrases although he was sometimes affected by certain situations. That happened because he was, in fact, kind-hearted, passionate and tender. Therefore, he was seen as the man of critical situations, who deals with reality in a way that is real human rather than haughty or arrogant. That way was far away from conceit or pride as he was quite confident of himself and greatly convinced of the propensities of himself.
Jassem’s attraction to his father did not stop at that limit. He was more excited by the warm relationship between his father and his mother. Both were on mutual understanding and continuous great love. The mother, with her extreme joy and sweetness could quiet his anger and cool his revolt whenever they take place. His wife could not stand seeing him angry or even upset as he had the top priority in her house. He had all the rights and all members of the family had to do their duties towards him.
In fact, Jassem’s position was not much further from his father’s. He was given the same importance although Jassem treated the others differently. He, as much as his mother, used to make much noise, kidding and radiating joy. He always used to excite pleasant feelings in the others and did not stop laughing or kidding specially with Laila.
Laila, the pussy cat of the house, is sweet, tender and has a spirit full light and joy. She is greatly similar to Jassem, but not as tall as he is. Although she is much thinner than him, she has the same sharp penetrating eyes which can rake the depth of the depths of the others’ souls. Like him, she is much attracted to their father especially when the latter, with his great and tall posture, enters the house in his military uniform which appealed to Laila. That uniform made her proud –in the presence of all- of the fact that the knight –in this uniform- is her father who likes her too much and forever prohibits any scissors to cut any thing of her long black and growing hair.
As for Dalal, she did not know very much about her father. He liked to work and travel. He traveled from one country to another for business deal, rest and relaxation. Nawal, Dalal’s mother and his fourth wife, was the most favored and beloved to him, sometime ago. Dalal’s father liked to travel from Kuwait to Basrah, then from Basrah to Cairo. After that, from Cairo to Damascus, then, from Damascus to Kuwait, and so forth. He is a man who looks for excitement, money and business. He does not stop repeating his own famous statement, “We live our age only once. We will never live it twice.”
Dalal was born as beautiful as her mother Nawal was. That beautiful and sexy woman –who was over-flooding with femaleness and attraction as she had white and soft skin, wide and hazel eyes, a fat body proud of its outstanding femaleness, soft and long black hair that almost covered her back- managed to capture the heart and mind of Dalal’s father, who was interested in women for a long time till he was married to a fifth wife. That was a too shocking blow for Nawal which affected badly on her nerves. She could do nothing but to accept this marriage which was insisted upon by her mother. She accepted it under duress. She accepted this ipso facto hoping for a stable life which may verify her dreams that could be possible by the great wealth of this husband. But, in a few years, rumors were reiterated about a new wife in the life of Dalal’s father. It was, also, said that he bought the new wife, who was Egyptian, an apartment looking on the Nile at Zamalik district[4] in Giza. He started to spend most of his time in Cairo besides his wife while he forgot all about his fourth wife, Nawal. As well, he forgot his first wife, who was his cousin and gave him three children Gamal, Sanaa and Adel. He did not care about his second wife who was Syrian and insisted to stay with her family in Damascus. He –consequently- divorced her. His third wife spent most of her life in Kuwait although she traveled a lot to her kinsmen at Basrah.
Nawal went mad as soon as the rumor was confirmed to her. When she insisted to get divorced, her husband did not reject or object to that demand. He, instantly, agreed and divorced her while Dalal was still a small baby at her lap knowing nothing about the world. So quickly, he departed the life of both Dalal and her mother after he left them much money. Dalal used not to see him except on occasions if his conditions of travel and stay ever permit. Her feelings towards her father dried very soon. That was contrasting completely with what Souad felt towards her father, whom she never loved anybody as much as him. That bountiful man used to provide them, liberally and limitlessly, with money and love. As well, he gave tender love and care to all people around him with no exception.
There was always a kind of love that joined members of this family. Things were settled and stable under the roof of this big house at Shamiyah, which was surrounded with a big, highly-decorated and covered with tall trees-garden. That house was, also, surrounded by a wonderful and gentle atmosphere of love familiarity, connectedness and favoring the others.
Time –as usually as days, nights and hours- used to pass while all evidence show that the relationship between Dalal and Jassem is still standing. That relationship became more apparent and more common. Dalal wanted all people to know of this relation; especially Souad because Dalal took pride and rejoiced in being a friend to Jassem and wished that their love would have ended in marriage.
In fact, Dalal considered her relationship with Jassem a natural one and that it would end naturally. Jassem only needed some time to yield to the status quo and approve his marriage to Dalal. As Souad was there, her only problem was always that she was not content with the result of her relationship with Jassem. Souad, with her exciting beauty, her great effectiveness, her charismatic character, great mind, her clean and genuine reputation, limitless wealth- worried Dalal. In addition to that, Souad was his cousin and Dalal realized the role of the great love between the two sisters; Jassem’s mother and Souad’s. Therefore, that made her restless and unsettled whenever she thought of it deeply. She anticipated the danger coming out of that unfair competition between her and Souad.
But Dalal would never lose hope. She would keep on resisting her worries about Souad. She would refuse the idea of giving up in this future-shaping battle. Therefore, she replanned her policies. She decided to intensify her attack and come closer to the target. She followed Jassem wherever he went. She tried to find a solution that may satisfy her and help her understand his character because he is different from the other youth who are short-sighted and may lose their strong will in the presence of girls. Jassem is able to control himself and his passions. He is tactful in saying and doing. He has a deep feeling of self-consciousness. He highly evaluates his name and position.
Dalal launches so terrific a pursuit campaign that did not allow Jassem to absent himself for half a day without knowing where he went, whom he talked to, what he said, when he came home, why he didn’t go outside his house, what he was doing inside his house and who were at house- Souad? Dalal did not stop phoning him everywhere. Even at home, his mother, sister and father knew her but she was forced to behave with the cautiously. She would not behave so unless she was actually forced.
Dalal was still trying to revive the old relationship between her family and Jassem’s, but Jassem’s mother did not care at all although Jassem’s father was always gentle and smiling with her. He used to ask Dalal about her conditions, as well as, the conditions of her mother and grand-mother. Jassem’s father has a special longing for Dalal. She reminds him of the image of her beautiful mother who is inhibited in his depths. As well, he never forgets his love for Dalal’s grandmother and her warm welcome to Jassem as he entered their house at Mirkab, while thirsty to ask for a drink of water. He was then sweating after a long play with the kids including Nawal in the area. He, also, recollected the folklore songs of the kind, “Markor fell into the cooking pan“, “The Vortex“, “Hammayah“, “Dirbaha” and “A Trick“.[5]
Jassem’s mother, also, recollected the Karkaan days[6] when he, with the other children including Nawal, used to be given a lot by Nawal’s mother. He sighs very deeply while remembering those old days, “They were good days. My God, they were days!”
Now, everything is changed. The world, as well as people, changed. Even Jassem’s father is changed after taking over his military profession at the Ministry of Defense. He is changed into another human being. He became disciplined, balanced, logical, resolved and rigid. Therefore, it was impossible for him to synchronize with his brother-in-law Abdullah’s father who differs from Jassem’s father in all aspects as related to character, customs, thoughts and behavior. The first used to deal with matters of life simply, easily, and in a relaxed way while the latter used to take them unfalteringly, resolutely and seriously.
The funny thing is that the two sisters completely ignore this psychological gap between the two husbands. They never cared for the distraction or dryness of feelings between them. Moreover, many a time, they used to make fun of these differences and laugh at them. The two sisters remained as usual; keeping their usual relations, exchanging the non-stop semi-daily visits, their love for both of Souad and Laila who have united by love and intimacy since they were children. The two sisters wish that Jassem and Souad would have married.
But Jassem used to look at Souad as a young child playing with his sister. Both used to amuse themselves, laugh and quarrel. They were always so. Jassem used to appreciate them equally, especially Souad who was four years older than Laila while Jassem was eight years older than Souad.
Jassem did not much frequently visit his aunt’s house. His relation with Souad’s brothers was not warm. It was void except for recollections of children playing together. When Souad’s brothers grew up, things became worse; Abdullah left for America to study engineering; Faisal, the second brother who is almost Jassem’s age and who plays handball in the same club with Jassem- joined the College of Police. He became more alien when he finished his study, got married and kept busy with his work and private life.
As for Badr, the youngest brother, he was the sweetest, the funniest and had the best spirits. He liked acting and was interested in making impressions of the others. As soon as he watched a play, a movie or a TV drama he would imitate the heroes in all aspects: the voice, motion, the way of walking and the way of talking- so well that whoever watched him or listened to him would be convinced that he watched the whole work of art being imitated. In fact, Badr managed to imitate many characters simultaneously. Souad, the only daughter who came to this world after a long waited pregnancy, was treated like a doll as her brothers used to play with her. They used to favor her. The atmosphere of the house was happier because of this small child. The laughter of her father and grandfather accelerated while they were kidding with her. The happiness of Souad’s mother was limitless when she saw her young and beautiful daughter growing, getting older, and becoming more beautiful day after day.
In reality, the common feeling –in the house- had changed after this toy-daughter came to life as she filled the house with happiness and life with her laughter and even crying. When Souad was born, goodness and fortune came to her family. Right after she was born, the prices of real-estate had rocketed; the price of land went up. Also, the government approved the pricing for the lands needed to build new roads. Her father was flooded with money which made him optimistic and considered her a gift from God.
Through her childhood, Souad was fed with pure love, once from her grandfather, her father, her mother and –usually- from the three brothers. The latter used to tender and be fond of her. They, also, exaggerated in giving her that love and care to the point that they were worried by the breeze that may blow her hair. But, this great spring of running love did not change Souad into a careless child. On the contrary, this ever standing love was the immediate reason to teach her how the ways of life have been since she was a small child. Also, that taught her how to deal with people, how buying and selling are done and the principles of success on choosing a real-estate business. Souad knew the answer to the last question when she was a small child teething at a time when she was moving from her father’s to her grandfather’s laps. She learned all about the sites –and sites only- of land and buildings in the real-estate business.
So, Souad knew the secrets of success in the real-estate while she was eating candies, chewing gum or drinking juice. Souad heard of many problems and learned how to tackle and how to solve them. She, also, learned how to make deals while she was still a child jumping wonderfully, happily and pleasantly. She was happy with her father and grandfather who took her in their cars to study a new piece of land or real-estate they would evaluate or assess. They usually asked for her opinion because they felt optimistic and expected good omens with her presence. They used to call her Souad, Umm Alsaad (the mother of happiness).
In fact, Souad learnt a lot from the wisdom of her grandfather and the cleverness of her father. She acquired a lot from them. She grew up wise, considerate, placid, deeply effective, responsible, dedicated and –also- has her prints in the souls of the others where they remain forever.
This is Souad who is flooding with love, passion and dedication to all people around her. She, always, honors her speech her promises. Respects and feels proud of herself. She is always afraid that her pride may be injured, that her feelings may be offended or that her heart may be broken. Therefore, she did not take the kidding of Laila with her –in the presence of Jassem- easily. She kept on recollecting the situation, look by look, word by word, movement by movement and even laughter by laughter.
Yes. The look of surprise which Souad observed in the eyes of Jassem still hurts her spirits. His laughter is still resounding in her heart. The resonance of that laughter is still heard in the depth of her heart. She remembered that long summer night and how she has been awake till the dawn prayer since Laila was kidding with Jassem and gave him the impression that Souad loved him. Ah, how did Laila dare do that thing? How did Laila change the great love of Souad into just a joke?
The conflict within Souad ranged from anger with Laila for her kidding to the approval of her openness on Souad’s feelings towards Jassem. These feelings were impossible to disclose because of her shyness and pride.
Also, the painful thing in this matter which kept of devastating Souad’s feelings was that Jassem considered the whole situation mere laughter or kidding done by Laila and that he did not think of its importance fro Souad. He, also, did realize its seriousness and sensitivity to her as he ignored everything and went along with his life as usual keeping his relationship with Dalal as if nothing had taken place.
Dalal had certainly planned for that a long time ago. She would go ahead with this endlessly expecting Souad would give up for the status quo and finally would forcibly quit to leave things go as usual. The conditions helped Dalal to come closer to Jassem after his mother has decided to join Laila with her in the same school though Dalal lives outside Keefan area. Jassem’s father managed, through favoritism, to get the approval of the Ministry of Education. In addition to that, Dalal and her mother had not yet moved to their house in Salemiyah. She stayed in her grandmother’s old house at Mirkab. So, circumstances made it possible for the three girls to get together in one high school which Jassem frequented now and then.
By the course of time, Souad had not cared about anything except for her love for Jassem. That love which she likes and likes even if it were desperate love; a one-sided love and there is no hope to be reciprocated.
Once upon a gloomy day and a gloomy air, Souad knew that Jassem was about to leave for the States after he had been accepted as a member of the medical mission of the Ministry of Health. Once Souad heard the news, she would lose consciousness because of Jassem’s departure. She has had a little hope to make feel her, have passion for her and appreciate her love for him. But, the opportunity was lost; Dalal was still hindering her way and blocking –by her mere presence- the gate of hope before her heart.
In that gloomy evening, a few hours before the departure of Jassem, the sports club gave a big farewell party for the coach of the team attended by a great number of players and fans. As the proceedings of the party come to their end, Jassem sees off all people around him. He comes very close to his sister Laila, laughs with her and taps her shoulders tenderly, saying, “How long have you loved me like this? I swear that who ever sees you shall say you really love me!”
He comes closer to Dalal who feels unable to look at him and looks as if she were totally collapsed, constantly crying, wallowing and tearing. He looks at her awkwardly because of her seemingly extreme affection observed by all. He kids with her saying, “Dalal, by God keep quiet. Dalal, now, if you see a cat departing, you will cry over her. Keep quiet, please.”
Dalal tries to get hold of herself and pretend to be quiet, but she feels unable to do that. On the contrary, she keeps on crying at the same degree and the some capacity which makes Jassem get away from her and comes closer to Souad who is standing silent and solemn as if she were a statue with neither life nor spirit.
Jassem comes closer and nearer to her. He stops to have a deep, intervening and questioning look. She consequently lowers her eyes and looks at the floor while her heart was trembling and her feelings are getting inflamed as she felt hot blood comes her head like a fire burning her entity. She pretends to be busy looking at Laila and Dalal who are flooded with tears while Jassem is standing up looking at her alone. He was studying her with his eyes as if he were looking for something that lives within her, something that he would like to find out. But, that is Souad, who is as deep as a sea without a bottom which, nobody can delve deep into it.
Jassem gets silent for a second and then laughs while looking at the two crying girls, “See how they became though I have not departed yet. I do not know why? There must be another reason apart from my departure.”
He says again to Souad while shaking her hand strongly and looking at her admirably, “Take care Souad. God may protect you.”
Jassem gets away towards the administration building of the club. In a few moments, he leaves for the airport accompanied by a large number of administrators, players and fans where he meets with the doctors traveling with the Ministry of Health mission and the seeing off doctors.
Souad goes back home while she is still wrapping herself in silence and quietness, masquerading with carelessness and cold feelings she tells her mother about the club party which was for the farewell of Jassem. She described the proceedings of the party to her in an ordinary way as if the matter were to mean nothing at all for her.
She enters her room and closes its door quietly. She changes her clothes silently. She put on a sleeping gown inaudibly lamenting herself, and cursing her weakness for being unable to express her feelings and to declare her love.
She operates the tape recorder next to her bed. The voice of Awad Aldookhi comes out softly and tenderly:
Shall I say you are unfair, or that I am
With you forever with you in love?
Shall I say you are unfair?
You gave my heart hope,
It proved to be nothing but suffering
Souad moves into the room looking for nothing. She gets lost with the words of the song which fills out the quiet room with its passionate and healing tones. Her tears come out more and more while she is thinking of the meanings which she feels applied to her feelings at that sad and miserable moment.
She thinks again of herself angrily, grudgingly and furiously considering Jassem’s connection with Dalal treason for her and detestation for her love. He has been her love since she was a child. Also, he has been the dream of her fancy since she felt her femaleness and realized the nature of her feelings. She cries, her tears come out, wallows more and cannot stop weeping.
She looks for some pills for the headache that is about to destruct her head. She rethinks and blames herself over her inability to talk of her grief at the moment of seeing off her love. How? Why? Why? Doesn’t she have the right to express herself? Or, is that the right of Dalal only? Only Dalal? How does she allow herself to weep like this? How rightful for Dalal to declare her love for Jassem in this clear and uncovered way in front of all people? How rightful? How rightful?
Souad conflicts with her despair, frustration and the bitterness of her feelings. She resists her feeling of inability and lack of action. She takes a deep breath, but she exhales it heavily, overpoweringly and taxingly. She is overridden by a sigh that exhales hot fire coming out of the depth of her depths.
She looks at the walls of her room stifled, tiresome and frustrated. She does not know what to do after the whole world became too small for her and that mountains of pain have ridden over chest and devastated her heart. She swallows pills for headache. She lies in her bed hating to think of herself that prevented her of being weak enough to express herself, show her feelings, discover her passions and declare her love.
Souad lies unsettled in her bed. She extends her hand to switch off the light. She lowers the volume of the sound coming out of the tape cassette mixed with night, wilderness, pain and wallowing:
Ah, what a penalty awaiting me out of your love,
What a dilemma for its bitter taste!
Souad looks at the black sky covered with wakeful awakened star sand a thin light beam sneaking from her window to her bed. She feels the moment bleeding extreme pain added to her weakness, her endurance and her capability. She becomes more grudging to her strong and steadfast character, her extreme feeling of her pride which all prevented her to weep as blazingly, feebly, and weakly as Dalal did.
She lies on her bed, on her face, puts her hand on her mouth to mute her exhales, lies on her side shoving her eyes with her fingers and pulls her pillow to cover her head. Her sadness started to be accompanied with the magical, wakeful and wandering voice of Awad Aldookhi at the different sides of the room:
Your love tortured me,
Deserting me made me suffer,
Though our love is at the beginning.
I try to forget you,
But I feel eager for you,
And the night of love,
Is too long for lovers,
However you forget,
However you forsake,
It is impossible for my heart to forget you.
Chapter Three
To Love the Longing
Everything becomes meaningless and shallow to Souad after Jassem’s departure. This time life feels different, even air smells different, for since she was a little girl Jassem was never so distant for all that time. Indeed he’s a sports champion that travels often, but this time his destination is so far away, there, in the states.
But that doesn’t matter, he’s still there, it’s enough to know that he’s there, and that he’s her beloved one.
Souad in silent desperation starts to sense the bitterness of separation, this bitter longing, this love so sour that she could taste it, nothing changes that except for hearing Jassem’s voice from time to time when she’s at Laila’s. He never calls her at home.
Despite her suffering, Souad tries to remain quiet. She becomes like a sea with a still surface, and a raging depth. She spends her time with nothing comforting her except the time she spends at her aunt’s, where Jassem’s aura fills the air. It comforts her, and makes her even more longing for him. She gets dressed in a rush, tells her mother that she’ll go borrow a book from Laila, and promises her that she won’t be late.
She enters her aunt’s house only to discover that Laila isn’t awake yet. She feels sorry for not calling her before coming over, yet she was irritated and couldn’t wait to leave the house. Her aunt turns out not to be home too, and she’s thrilled by this chance of having some alone-time at Jassem’s house, her aunt’s husband wasn’t back from his work at ministry of defense yet. Souad knows he never comes before 4 o’clock; he’s a very punctual man that you could predict his every move.
Souad seizes the opportunity of having the place all for herself; all her senses are intently concentrated, for she’s now in Jassem’s house. No, she’s in a temple that on its altar she makes her offerings of love to Jassem, the beloved one that has gone so far away. She feels his aura all around the place. She gets weaker and weaker, all the reluctance she once had is now fading away. She can’t get herself together, not even for a moment. She keeps on wondering how it worked out so well that she’s here, in her aunt’s house, where no one interrupts her. She drifts away with her feelings and emotions, drifts away from time and place.
She sighs, wondering where the good old days went. Where are the days in which Jassem used to enter with a cheerful welcome? Where’s Jassem himself? She gives in to imagination, and the longing fills her heart again. Her craving for seeing Jassem takes over all her senses.
She takes Jassem’s favorite seat, on which he used to relax. She sits in total bewilderment with her face flushed and her cheeks blushing. For a moment it’s like she’s hearing Jassem’s voice welcoming her “Hello Souad, it’s so good to see you.”
It’s almost as if she could hear his voice, like she could see him smiling and welcoming as ever. Longing takes over again, for everything around her reminds her of Jassem’s presence. No, he is there. His halo fills the air around her, comforting her.
She imagines seeing Jassem. A love song passes by her mind, and in her heart she hears Awad Aldookhi’s voice, making her missing of Jassem, and making separation even more painful.
Oh my sweetheart,
Love was but a child.
A dream that by sunset we weaved.
A serenade that filled the world,
Floating by the southern side.
Oh my sweetheart.
So proud like the raging sea,
That tenderness of yours has taken over me…
There she sits, amazed as ever, drifting away in bewilderment with her longing, drifting away with the sweet melody and the tender words… She tries to get herself together for a moment; she sweeps the room with a glance. She picks up her purse, and feels the chair’s arm where Jassem to put his hands. She feels the fabric with her palms. She sighs and Looks around her, gazing at Jassem’s photographs covering the walls. Here he is shooting the ball in a game between Kuwait and Thailand in the world cup finals. They scored 6 goals in the first half and 4 goals in the second. Way to go Kuwait!
Here he is shaking hands with his dear friend Sheikh Fahad Al-Ahmad, head of the Kuwaiti Olympic committee and head of the Kuwaiti football federation. Here’s another photograph in his first day as an intern in Al-Sabbah hospital. Here he is with Dr. Abdul-Rahman Al-Awadi and a number of his colleagues, and here’s another one, and another.
Souad looks around her, she feels embarrassed of the thought of her aunt’s husband coming in and seeing her in Jassem’s chair, she doesn’t want her aunt to come and find her alone without Laila. She stands up, taking a final look around her. She goes to Laila’s room and knocks the door gently. She wants to wake her up, maybe talking about Jassem with her would make her feel better and ease her suffering of separation.
Laila wakes up as she heard Souad’s knocking, she opens her eyes and smiles. She gets up and hugs her lovingly expressing how pleased she is with this lovely surprise.
Time goes by; Souad goes back to her house. She promised her mother she won’t be late, and she took a book from Laila with her. She leaves her aunt’s house. Her aunt kisses her goodbye as she dials her sister’s number, and tells her that her daughter is on her way home. She knows how much her sister loves her daughter and how much she worries about her. Souad doesn’t take long to be home, for it’s not a long way from Kifan to Al-Shammeya.
Days keep on passing in Souad’s life, boring and dull. Each day is like the other, she’s either at Laila’s or Laila is at her place. She does nothing more, except for the times when she hears Jassem’s voice by mere chance if he called while she was at her aunt’s. He’d talk to her; ask her how she’s doing. Only then feelings change, and everything else changes.
Separation lingers that Souad can’t stand anything around her. Even the slightest thing could get on her nerves, and all living situations become a burden. Most people are annoying to her that she can’t stand them being beside her, even her nieces Mariam, Mona, and Fadda, the baby whom she adores and everyone knows how much she loves, even Fadda. Souad can’t stand being with her for more than a minute, and then she refuges to her room, taking shelter from their mischief and noisiness.
Now Souad prefers solitude, without ruckus or racket. She prefers to remain in her room most of the time… Even her relationship with Laila became a little tense. She doesn’t want Laila to notice her concern after the changes she went through. Even though she tried so hard to pretend that everything is normal and as ordinary as ever, as if nothing changed after Jassem left.
One day Souad runs into Dalal at university, they exchange a quick chit-chat, from which Souad finds out that Jassem calls Dalal constantly, and that he’s upset and feeling homesick, and that he’s stressed due to the continuous work at hospital combined with studying. She also finds out that he’s coming to Kuwait soon.
Souad tries to remain calm, and leaves saying it’s time for her class, she also apologizes for not going to the club to see Dalal, and promises that she’d try to come one of these days with Laila.
Dalal hangs out with a number of her colleagues. Her style in picking vogue and elegant clothes draws eyes to her. She looks like a stunning supermodel showing the most upbeat fashion. Her mellow style attracts everyone, and her cheerful personality makes her loved by everyone around her.
True, Dalal deserved that kind of attention, because her beauty and her mellowness made her an attractive personality that could give lively vibes to wherever she goes. She could break the ice in a minute with her amazing smile and her appealing character. It wasn’t hard for her to draw everyone’s attention wherever she goes.
She also drew Jassem’s attention; she wasn’t embarrassed of following him all around. Many times Jassem would find her in front of him all of a sudden, he’s laugh amazed by this boldness of hers, and he’d say jokingly “I swear to God, one of these days I’m going to open my bag only to find Dalal inside of it.”
Dalal wasn’t one of those quiet girls that could easily give up and back off. She was bold and daring. She knew how to charm others, and how to take over their thoughts and make them fall for her. How to make others give in to the might of her seduction and influence? Her weapons were her beauty and her charismatic personality. Her life didn’t change much after Jassem traveled, she still went to the club, living her life normally, until Jassem’s arrival was at hand.
Everyone was cheering wildly at the house; they were all running about preparing for Jassem’s arrival. Laila told Souad that he’d come today. His mother’s happiness was overwhelming, and even his father with all his solemnity showed how thrilled he was with Jassem’s arrival.
The two sisters meet, and filled with joy they talk about the arrival of their cherished son. “God willing he’ll be with us soon. Life is so meaningless without Jassem. It took him a while this time. When would he back to fill the place again?!”
True, Jassem’s presence fills the place. Any place he goes to. He fills it with joy and his loud laughter, his lively actions, and his quick jokes. His smart and funny comments bring joy to everyone around him. He’s such a pleasant guy, yet a man of determination and confidence that knows what he wants and how to achieve his goals. He knows how to score in the football team, and in real life.
Indeed Jassem is a charming character, loved by everyone. No one could get enough of him; they’d all rush to being with him. Souad grew up in a life so filled with love and appreciation for Jassem, with everyone being proud of him. It was normal that she’d develop loving feelings for him, especially that the two mothers would utter a comment from time to time that Jassem and Souad are meant to be together.
Souad murmurs to herself sadly “How is it possible that I couldn’t make Jassem love me all that time? How couldn’t I have let him know that I love him? How?”
Souad was brought up in a strict, straight, and tender way. Her mother is a religious lady, and her brothers are very concerned about her, for she was the little sister that got their love and care. Even her father and her late grandfather, they treated her like her brothers. They were preparing her ever since she was a little girl to be something one day, to bear a huge responsibility. They didn’t discriminate between boys and girls.
It wasn’t odd that Souad would grow up into this strong, self-managed lady that knows how to use her mind. She wasn’t much of a teenager, she didn’t have pointless experiences. She didn’t care much about girly stuff, which made her respected and appreciated by everyone. That boosted her ego and created a very high self-image for her.
The day finally comes. Everyone starts preparing for Jassem’s arrival from the break of dawn. His mother has a fabulous dinner prepared for him, including all the dishes he loves.
Souad goes with her mother to her aunt’s house, all dressed up, and along with her dress she puts on an invisible mask beneath which she concealed her true feelings, hiding how excited she was. She was very excited though she looked calm in her beige silk dress that gave her innocent and quiet looks, and made her even more charming with her dark skin, her velvet jet hair, and her wide black eyes.
Jassem arrives after a short while, storming into the house laughing out loud as ever. Saluting everyone lovingly, he hugs his mother so tightly, and everyone gets tearful eyes for seeing this showing o emotion. That warm hug moved everyone in the place, while Souad was looking away in fear of getting overwhelmed by her emotions and shedding tears as well.
Souad would rather die or be buried alive than letting anyone see her tears. She felt that she can’t have that kind of weakness, and that no one could ever see her crying, even those people closest to her. That was what she learned as she was growing up. As a child, whenever she cried the world would go heads over heels, as if a volcano had erupted, or as if a hurricane has hit the house.
Her father would bear anything except seeing Souad’s tears. To him it felt like drops of lava dripping on his heart. He’d put anything aside and take Souad between his arms, patting her back, kissing her forehead and face. He wouldn’t stop till she’d stop crying.
After that, he’d take her for a ride, they’d go for juice and candy stands. He’d take her to Al-Shammeya stores and buy her everything she wants, toys, chocolates, whatever it was. He’d let her pick whatever she wanted.
They’d keep on with the ride, playing Awad Aldookhi’s songs in the car. He’d sing along as he hears that lovely song which Souad loves, because she knows how her father loves it. She’d be thrilled as she hears him singing along while driving
O night, come to us
What a beautiful night, for Dana.
O night, come to us
What a beautiful night, for Dana.
Souad would hear the song, and forget all about her anger. Her father wouldn’t leave her until he sees the smile on her face. He’d look lovingly at her, hugs her close and she’d laugh as she hears him singing to her, just to her.
As pretty and charming as ever.
But only if she’d answer me.
O night, come to us
What a beautiful night, for Dana…
When Souad would laugh, the whole world laughs too. Her father would kiss her on the cheek, with a big grin that would make her day. For all that Souad knew what her tears were worth, and how important her feelings were. For that she kept them to herself, concealing them from the closest people to her, not wanting to see the mess, her tears usually brings. That was why she hid her feelings carefully, so that Jassem wouldn’t feel what was in her heart.
Jassem keeps saluting everyone, not ruling out a single person in the house. He walks towards Souad, drawing nearer as his eyes revealed how much he missed her. He takes her hand between both hands. Souad gave in to his gentle press on her hands, listening to him saying with a warm voice, while his eyes are staring at her wide beautiful eyes “I missed you, Souad. I really missed you so much.”
Souad shivers as she hears these words so full of longing. Her heart beats so fast because of this warm unexpected meeting. She feels joy overwhelming her, taking over her. She remembers the day she came to this very hall that feels so empty without him, except for his presence surrounding her, taking over her thoughts and feelings.
“Oh, Jassem. Welcome home… I can’t believe you’re finally here, welcome home.”
Souad keeps asking herself “Is it true that he’s really here?”
She feels as if she’s dreaming. Yes, she is dreaming. She’s so overjoyed that she feels she’s on the verge of passing out. It’s not easy for her to bear the situation and to pass the moment. The emotional current flooded her so fast, so much bigger than she expected. Souad can’t stop staring at Jassem. She notices how much he changed. He got even more attractive and manly, his figure looked better, his beard and moustache were better trimmed, and his hair got longer that it almost touched his navy blue overcoat. “God bless you, Jassem. God bless you.”
Souad sighs deeply saying to herself “Oh Jassem, if only you’d know how much I love you, and how much I missed you. If only you’d know how much I suffer because of this one-sided love.”
She’d say to herself, blaming him “How did you take all this time away, Jassem? How did you bear all this time away from me? How did Jassem? How did my darling?”
Jassem turns to her all of a sudden, looks deep into her eyes with a stare so full of questions that shook her to her very soul. Souad gets confused and bewildered, and thoughts fill her head. She fears that Jassem noticed her feelings. She looks away and pretends she’s talking to Laila, and tries to look like eating.
Time passes so joyful with family around, but before Jassem finished his meal the Indian servant comes to tell him there’s a call for him. Jassem walks to the phone in the corner, and as usual he speaks loudly letting everyone hear “Hi, Dalal. How have you been? No, I just arrived like an hour ago. Dalal, please, can’t you wait for a little bit? Okay, okay then.”
Jassem smiles to them and apologizes for not being able to keep them company for the rest of the night, he leaves in his father’s white car, the same car that picked him up at the airport, and he goes quickly to meet Dalal.
They all stop eating; lose their appetite all of a sudden. They all get sort of cranky and upset after Jassem left out of the blue. Laila stands up and runs to her room, slams the door angrily behind her. Souad sits still; she keeps on chewing not being able to swallow.
Then, she hardly manages to swallow the bite mixed with all the tears that flows inside her.
Chapter Four
A silent echo
Everything got mixed up after Jassem left suddenly to meet Dalal without finishing dinner. Jassem’s mother loses her patience and bursts “As if we needed that Dalal! May God rid us from her! She didn’t even let him eat!”
Umm Abdullah – her sister – answered angrily as well “Yes, she has no shame. I swear to God she has no shame.”
The whole evening was ruined; no one would touch his plate, except for Abu Abdullah who continues dinner as if nothing happened. He seemed to have some sort of sympathy for Dalal, who was a distant relative of his, although he didn’t consider it distant. Her grandmother is his mother’s aunt. He mumbles “He’s a young man and he’s free to do as he pleases, let him be.”
Souad hesitantly opens Laila’s door and walk in; she gets astonished to see her crying. She tries to make her feel better, but before she says a single word Laila bursts with a flood of angry words
“I swear I’m not going to let her get away with it. I’ll show her. And you Souad, why don’t you help me? Why don’t you try to keep her away from Jassem? Don’t you love him?”
Souad in total bewilderment can’t answer this question… Laila’s attitude surprises her and makes her speechless. She can’t find words for such an awkward situation, so she refuges to silence.
Since that outrageous night, a strange kind of wars erupted between Laila and Souad on one side and Dalal on the other; a cold hidden war that started to get more and more visible. The two cousins had an alliance to overthrow the reckless queen of vanity, Dalal.
“May God help us?”
They patiently start planning and preparing carefully for the days to come. It’s true that who laughs last laughs longer. Just wait Dalal; we’ll see who’ll be laughing eventually.
Jassem’s vacation ended so quickly. Hours passed one following the other, as if in a race, and the time to leave drew nearer.
“Good days pass so fast.”
Everyone now was on full alert as Jassem was about to leave. The whole house was dedicated to getting Jassem’s requests, coffee, scented sticks, the basmati rice, the summer and winter gowns, the scent burner, the Basrian chewing gum and the assorted spices of which cardamom and saffron were of the most important. Everything was prepared so quickly after Jassem’s vacation ended so fast. That short vacation during which they rarely saw him. He was always busy playing football at the club with national team players.
Jassem had no time to meet Souad, but Dalal was stalking him wherever he goes as ever. She’d sit to watch his friendly matches, even during training time. Dalal didn’t want Jassem to be away for a single moment. She couldn’t sleep before seeing him. As for Souad, she tolerated the situation as she always does, for she can’t act like Dalal.
It was time for parting, but this time it was out of Dalal’s reach. Laila and Souad sit in a car that Jassem drives to the airport; his father sits in the front seat. Laila smiles to herself and mumbles “Finally you’re away Dalal, better keep it that way.”
Souad feels the same as well, she cherishes their blood relation and belonging, but there was an unpleasant surprise awaiting them at the airport. Dalal was already there, standing with tearful eyes, she has waited for them for so long.
Dalal sees Jassem, she runs towards him as soon as he steps out of the car. She shakes his hand passionately, almost throwing herself between his arms regardless of their presence. She shakes hi hands passionately, crying, giving him all his concentration with no feeling of embarrassment even with his father around, his father who looked sympathetically to her tears, while Laila whispered angrily “She really has no shame. That insolent girl would do anything. Okay Dalal, just wait.”
Jassem bids them farewell, shakes their hands quickly as the plane was about to take off. He walks towards the counter with his bag on his shoulder, raising his other hand in the air. He runs inside while everyone goes to Jassem’s house. Laila becomes speechless and Souad doesn’t say a single word all the way. There’s no use of words now because Laila’s father is driving, and he could easily hear them.
The two girls think the situation over at home, they think of all kind of ways that could keep Dalal away from Jassem. Eventually, in her girly malice Laila suggest that they must travel to spend the summer with Jassem in the states that year. Souad, relieved by this suggestion, agrees with her. That was the only safe place that Dalal can’t reach.
So the United States it is. They have to start preparing for that summer plan from now, but Souad in concern asks Laila:
“Do you think they’d let us travel Laila? I don’t think they would. You don’t know how Faisal is like, Laila. He’s very strict, you don’t know him. He’s not going to let us.”
Laila agrees with her, because she too knows Faisal’s way of thinking. He deals with everyone with the policeman’s attitude. He doubts everything and never takes anything for granted as his father might do, he has to think and ask, then decide.
Souad was expecting that her brothers wouldn’t approve of their suggestion. They had to come up with a better plan. Faisal must be convinced before he agrees, and if he did every one else will. As for her father, he never said no to her, and he trusts her blindly. Souad kept thinking for a reason good enough to convince everybody.
Laila jumps suddenly saying “I got it! Aunt Umm Abdullah has a sick heart, right? She must travel to America to have her heart examined, and Jassem must be in charge of that to translate to her and follow up on everything himself, right?”
Souad laughs out loud, and says in deep relief “Way to go Laila, you got that one solved.”
They get on with their plan at once, especially the medical side of it. Whenever Umm Abdullah says she has a headache Laila would go in a sympathetic voice “Auntie, you should take care of yourself. You must examine your heart. Heart diseases cause headaches these days!”
And if she complained at home about a pain in her feet, Souad would tell her she must examine her heart, because pain in feet and knees is a sign of heart problems. Souad advises her mom trying to persuade her “Mom you must take care of yourself, you have to examine your heart so we’d quit worrying.”
So even if Umm Abdullah complained about her teeth, the girls would exchange a sneaky look, and advise her to examine her heart.
One day Laila talks with her mother about her aunt’s health, and says: “Mom, I wish you’d tell auntie to take care of herself a little bit more. She must examine her heart; I’m worried about her so much. She has to go to the states to examine her heart in Jassem’s hospital. He’ll take good care of her, and then we’ll all be reassured and we won’t worry that much. I’m not feeling good about her health lately. I’m really worried about her.”
Umm Jassem starts to feel concerned about her elder sister. She gets worried because of hearing the same words about her health over and over again, and she starts to tolerate the idea, and then starts to carry it out after everyone else got worried as well. Even Faisal agreed to their traveling easily, unlike what Souad expected. None of her brothers had any objections about their traveling to the states, as long as was the decision of their mother, whom they loved and respected.
With his eyes full of love, Abu Abdullah agrees that his wife and daughter travel. His daughter, whom he loved dearly, ever since she was born, she brought nothing with her but prosperity. Souad was a keeper; wherever she goes she’d bring about fortune. His late father thought that about her too, and he used to see her first thing in the morning before he leaves for work. He’d wake her up even if she’s sleeping, kiss her cheeks, and then go to work full of optimism.
Abu Abdullah had this nickname for baby-girl Souad; he used to nickname her “mom”. Whenever he walks into the house and doesn’t find her, he’d ask about her impetuously, “Where’s mom? Where did she go? When will she be back? No, no. Go wherever you want, but leave mom with me, don’t take her with you.”
Souad’s father loved her so much, and never stopped pampering her, even when she grew up and became a young woman. He couldn’t stop treating her the same way. He’d go on kissing her, hugging her, spoiling her. He wanted her to feel his love and tenderness. His later father was fond of Souad as well.
Souad learned administrative skills from her father, who studied commerce and business administration in Cairo University, so she started planning the next summer thoroughly.
“What will we need? What will we do there? What should we get now?”
The first thing Souad ever learned about success is to respect time, and to prepare everything beforehand and leave nothing for chances, and not to postpone anything. She knew how to manage her life without confusions or misinterpretations.
Souad finishes preparing everything, and not just the planning part. She starts carrying out her plan. She joins an English class in the British Council. She knows that Dalal is fluent at English because she’s a student in English literature department in the faculty of arts. She doesn’t want Dalal to have anything she doesn’t have. She learned how to make it to her goals ever since she was a little girl. She also gets an international driving license, and starts reading about America’s tourist attractions, especially about New York, where Jassem lived.
Her preparations don’t stop there, she also learns how to cook all Jassem’s favorite dishes, and learns how to cook lots of other recipes.
Souad doesn’t ignore any trivial detail. She even learns how to make Russian and French salad, and masters it. She was preparing for her little war.
The opponent isn’t frail, and losing is not an option. Yet Souad was never defeated before. She never thought of fighting for him that way before, she never thought of competing with Dalal, but she always refused that situation Dalal imposed on everyone.
“She doesn’t deserve Jassem, she doesn’t deserve him!”
Summertime comes, so hot that everyone is complaining about the weather this year. They start preparing to leave for the United States. Laila, her mother, Souad, and her mother, who needs to have her heart checked to be reassured. “Jassem is there, he’ll take care of everything.”
The plane takes off going to New York. Laila sits next to Souad, smiling and whispering, recalling their days in London, where they stopped for a couple of days to meet their relatives who were spending the summer there, and their uncle Ibraheem who was establishing his new firm with its headquarters in London, in addition to his other firms in Kuwait, Emirates, and Bahrain.
They recall the events of this short vacation in London, recalling their adventures with their cousins Siham and Manal, and their friends. They know Dalal, and they said she’d be devastated when she knows they’re spending the summer with Jassem.
Laila remembers Dalal; she laughs and says to Souad “Don’t forget, Souad. We have to settle this once and for all”. Souad nods and doesn’t utter a word. She doesn’t want her mother or her aunt to hear them, because they were sitting right in front of them. She also doesn’t want to talk about this embarrassing issue, even with Laila.
It wasn’t a normal situation for Souad as Laila thought. She found it very confidential and embarrassing. Even talking about Jassem would make Souad embarrassed. She doesn’t want to go through all this, but it is love. Sometimes it creates that kind of stubbornness and persistence.
The plane lands in New York. It doesn’t take minutes till they all met Jassem. He was standing there, looking very discerned among everyone else, with his Arabic handsome features.
He had a wide forehead, implying cleverness. His nose was firm and strong, and his lips full and manly. His moustache looked as if it was underlining all these features.
Souad stares at Jassem’s incredibly charming face… She stares at him totally fascinated, and every bit of her trembles the closer she is to him. She moves very slowly, making way for her mother and aunt. She wants to be the last one to see him. She wants the greeting to take its time; she doesn’t want a quick salute. She wants it as slow as it can be.
Their eyes meet, and his stare penetrates her very depth, sets her emotions on fire. All what she can think of is to hug him. She gets embarrassed, and looks down. She looks to him again, this time with a blushing face, and a charming smile revealing some of her longing. She can think of nothing but talking to him, being with him.
Her confusion fades away as he comes closer and shakes her hands passionately. She could see and feel how much he missed her, and she feels so attracted to him. It’s a new kind of happiness she never experienced.
They walk side by side, having trouble finding their way in the crowded airport. Despite the noise and the crowds, Souad distinctively hears Jassem’s voice. She walks on sweeping the place with a glance, and eventually resting her eyes on Jassem’s face. She pretends to talk to Laila, trying to hide how she feels. He had this amazing ability. He could see right through her, and she knew that very well. She knew what kind of magic he had.
It takes few more minutes till they leave the airport in a minivan that Jassem hired to be big enough for their entire luggage. They brought a lot of things they’ll need in their long vacation. Jassem expected that they would, so he prepared that minivan to avoid any surprises.
He sits with them, smiling, welcomes them, and asks about the family in Kuwait: “Is anyone coming to the states this summer?”
He goes on asking about their friends and kin. He asks about everyone as if it has been years since he’s been to Kuwait. Every once and a while he’d stop talking, and look at the road trying not to ask about Dalal.
He waits till they arrive at home, and asks Laila in private about Dalal. He asks if she sees her or meets her, or goes to the club with her. Laila answers malevolently putting all her innocence in her voice “Dalal didn’t change one bit, Jassem. She goes to the club with her friends everyday.”
Although Jassem and Dalal talk on the phone regularly, yet she never told him anything about her going to the club or those friends of hers. Weird.
Jassem understands the underlying meaning; he grasps the image silently and doesn’t comment. He changes the subject and asks about other things. He asks her about the club, and Sheikh Fahad Al-Ahmad, and the players Hamad Bu-Hamad, Al-Anbary, Faisal Al-Dokhail, and Al-Trabolsy.
He asks about all players and officials, especially Khaled Al-Herban. He asks about their neighbors too, every single one at home. He asks if anything changed since he left. He asks about the whole district of Kefan, asks if anything changed. He asks about the store, and the mosque, and even the trees in the streets. He asks about their driver Rajan, and whether he went to Bombay on vacation or not.
Jassem talks with his mother, and asks her about her father as if it has been years since he last saw him, as if he wasn’t in Kuwait just 5 months ago when he took a vacation to be in Kuwait for the 19th Independence Day.
The Kuwaiti Independence Day was good enough a reason for him to leave everything and goes home, to share this day with them, Independence Day, that he could never miss for the whole world.
That wasn’t a strange attitude. Jassem was a very patriotic young man who loved his home deeply. He loved the land, the sky, and the deep sea. He loved those who fought for the homeland and shed their blood for it. He was so fond of his father, brigadier Ahmed Al-Nasser, who works in the Kuwaiti Ministry of Defense.
Brigadier Ahmed Al-Nasser was one of a kind, he used the fewest words to express what he wants. He never needed to say what he wants out loud. Just his presence would be enough. Just being in a place would be enough for everyone to take notice of his presence. He had a low voice, and didn’t speak a lot, yet his charisma was too apparent to miss.
The way he expressed what he wants without saying a word was so special. What a man Abu Jassem is!
Jassem goes on asking about what’s new, wanting to hear about everything. It’s always harder when one is abroad. He’d feel everything is so distant and remote, and everything could make one worried. It’s the separation with its way of making everything harder.
Hand in there, Jassem. You’re the man. It’s just going to be a little while, and then you’ll be back to Kuwait. The homeland.
Jassem suggest that he takes them out for dinner in a nearby restaurant that was known for its amazing food. They refused his suggestion because they were worn out from the flight, they wanted to unpack and hang their clothes. They were all tired and sleepy and in need for a rest.
Jassem tags along, and thinks of ordering some food. He didn’t see this opposition coming. He stands there thinking about a new dinner plan after this rejection, and Souad laughs thinking of how he feels. She tries to rid him of his embarrassment and says “Don’t worry, Jassem. I’ll cook you dinner tonight. Leave it to me; it’ll be ready in an hour”
Jassem looks at her gratefully, for ridding him of this trouble he doesn’t for the time being- see coming. He didn’t have any food prepared because he wanted to show them around from the very first minute, but they didn’t want to and he couldn’t make them. “As they like. Let them do what they want.”
He goes out to buy some stuff from the nearby supermarket, and Laila insists on going with him. She doesn’t want to stay at home, and wants to see everything in the states without missing a thing.
It was a new situation for Jassem, he didn’t know what to get them before they arrive, he didn’t know what to get them or what to do for them. It was the first situation of a kind to him. It’s the first time he’s in charge of a house full of people, and it wasn’t easy for him. All his life he was being taken care of, and never been into things related to taking care of a house and a family. That’s why he was relieved when Souad said she’d handle dinner. It was such a relief to get rid of embarrassment.
Souad goes to the kitchen and starts cooking dinner, while the two sisters prayed in the large bedroom that Jassem left them, and spared the small one for himself. After prayer the two women talk about cardiac diseases, and methods of treatment in the states, and all the facilities and doctors.
Umm Jassem says to reassure her sister “Jassem will take care of everything, don’t worry, sis. It’s different now, and nothing is that hard anymore. It’s going to be ok, God willing”
Umm Abdullah feels relieved, after he sister made her feel much better. They both sit on the floor talking, sipping tea in the crystal cups they brought from Kuwait. They share this chit-chat leaving the unpacking until Jassem and Laila return, to do it with Souad when she’s done with dinner.
Souad cooks a great dinner, and smiles saying to herself “The path to a man’s heart passes by his stomach. Yes, that’s the way. Okay. More spice on the meat, and lemon, garlic, and olive oil on the salad. There it goes”
Souad starts grilling the meat in the oven, she mumbles to herself “Wow. You’ve become one hell of a cook, Souad!”
She puts the food in the oven… Jassem and Laila weren’t back yet. His mother asks, “What took them so long Souad? Where did they go? What time is it now?”
Souad answers still standing in the kitchen, “Maybe they went to another store. Don’t worry auntie, they’ll be back soon. You know how outgoing Laila could get. I’m sure she’s the one stalling Jassem.”
Minutes later Jassem walks in, smells the food and follows it, trying to find the delicious food that made it, and goes into the kitchen, saying “Wow. What a smell! It’s been ages since I last smelled this, since I’ve last been in Kuwait.”
Jassem looks around as if he’s searching for something “I’m so hungry, I could eat all of this by myself.”
He goes to his room and changes, then goes to his mother and aunt, sits beside them on the floor and talks about his aunt’s health, and tries to reassure her. “It’s all very simple now, it’s not a problem. It’s really more of a standard procedure now auntie, don’t worry. Just don’t think about it and leave it to God. The only problem now is that I’m starving, come on. Let’s grab a bite.”
Jassem takes his mother and aunt to the living room, and stares at the numerous dishes on the table. He sits for dinner, and still can’t believe that Souad, his little spoiled cousin, knows how to cook all this on her own.
Jassem says jokingly, “No, Souad. I don’t buy it. I’m sure you brought this food from Kuwait with you. It can’t be you. I guess it’s your cook Komar, right?”
Jassem looks at Souad admiringly, and says as I he discovered something “Look how much you grew up, Souad”
He goes on complimenting her for the rest of the meal, and times goes by full of humor and joy. After a while the two sisters feel sleepy and go to bed in the large bedroom, while Laila, Souad, and Jassem sit in the living room that was full of magazines and books.
Laila turns on the television, and sits in the armed chair, while Souad sits on the floor reading some magazines she found, right next to the sofa on which Jassem lied down. He was tired from standing up all day, plus that he was sleep-deprived, he only slept for like four hours.
Laila watches the series intently, and Jassem joins her, while Souad was all scattered between the magazines she’s reading, and the television, and Jassem who was right next to her on the couch. “Oh God. Is it for real? Is Jassem with me in the same room? Am I breathing the same air he’s breathing? I can’t believe this!”
She sighs with a trembling heart, not believing that Jassem is right next to her. Is it possible? Or is it a miracle? What is she feeling now? Is it another kind of love mixed with fear and embarrassment? Or is it anticipation?
Jassem moves suddenly on the sofa, he raises his arms and stretches, rubbing his neck. Trying to ease the sore he feels. Souad stares at him, feeling like talking to him and telling him how she feels, but she refrains from doing so.
She barely keeps herself together, trying to suppress her feelings towards Jassem. She doesn’t want to think about him too much. She knows he’d feel her and see right through her. He’ll know how she feels and how much she misses him. It was a gift he had, to see through people.
She says to herself, “Enough love already, Souad. Enough”, and in that moment Jassem looks at her, saying, “Would you like an Arabic movie instead, Souad?” He asks her with a stare of love and passion, and says, “I have a variety of movies on tapes here, Souad. Just pick whichever you like. OH, right. I still have, “The bachelor of Salemiyah” Play, what do you think? Would you like to watch it now?”
Souad thanks him, because she knows he likes the series that Laila was watching as well, and says, “No, thanks Jassem. I’m reading those magazines; we’ll watch it tomorrow together, God willing. Mom loves Abdul-Hussein Abdul-Reda, and Souad Abdullah. She loves watching them.”
Again Jassem stares at her admiringly, as if he’s giving away the answer she longs for, the words that would put her out of her confusion. He goes on, “How did you get so neat, Souad? The dinner was just great, when did you learn all this? Seriously now, did you cook this or brought with you from Kuwait? Please tell me, Souad.”
Souad laughs, and joy takes over her heart. She can’t believe it, and says to herself, “Oh God. Jassem is complimenting me all night long, could this be real? He’s really joking with me and complimenting me?”
Souad feels that he has feelings for her, that he likes her, and loves her. That thoughts boosts up her heartbeats, for she concealed her feelings for him so deep in her heart, tucking it away in a dark spot in her thoughts. She knows he loves her, he sure does. But he doesn’t say it. Why doesn’t he? She could never tell.
Souad drifts away with her thoughts, and smiles back at him with that charming smile of hers. That lovely dream takes her away and shelters her; it comforts her heart and relieves her utterly. She feels thrilled for knowing she’d live with him for entire, sweet, happy days, full of warm welcoming and passion. And what a passion it was!
Souad refuges to silence, and listens to her heartbeats as the vibes of love start to spread in her body. She stares at the magazine, turning the pages, hoping that the sound of turning pages wouldn’t make her heartbeats so obvious, yet it kept getting louder and louder.
Night becomes darker and quieter, and that sound inside Souad heart’s becomes louder, while her heart starts this silent conversation, hidden in the ordinary words she exchanges with Jassem, whom she loved and dreamed of for so long. Her feelings flow like an unstoppable current, and Jassem was the drain, her beloved Jassem.
All of a sudden the phone rings breaking the muffled charm of the night, and tearing that floating canvas of a dream. It annoyed Laila and broke Souad’s heart, for it was Dalal.
Jassem takes the phone to the other small room, and closes the door seeking more privacy. Laila looks to Souad all angry and amazed, and says, “God damn it! There’s no getting away from that Dalal! Is there?”
Souad looks back at her with a gloomy stare, feeling defeated and humiliated. She looks down in shame, and doesn’t utter a word. She’s totally lost all ability for letting out her feelings in front of Laila, or in front of herself even. Laila feels her suffering and doesn’t say a word in respect to her pain, trying not to embarrass her. She sits besides her, trying to make her feel better, and says in a low voice that she made sure wasn’t loud enough to reach Jassem, “It doesn’t matter; we’ll find a way out of this. We won’t give her a chance to talk to him for as long as we stay here.”
Laila goes on describing her plan-B for fighting off Dalal’s invasion of Jassem’s heart. Souad nods along hoping she’d save her love, that love that’s been taking over her for so long, controlling every bit of her.
Minutes later Jassem comes out from his room, barefooted, and he points to the TV, gently asking Laila to lower the sound a little bit. Laila complies at once while he goes back in, closing the door quietly.
The two girls exchange a silent stare with lots of underlying meanings, while Jassem’s voice was still heard, faded out, but it was still obvious he was talking to Dalal.
Souad feels jealous, sad, and disappointed. Even the happiest moments could give way to a minute of sadness. Souad refuges to silence, full of rejection to all her surroundings, and totally fed up with Dalal. That bald girl who wouldn’t quit stalking Jassem and following him around, that wouldn’t quit trying to lure him into her charm.
Souad looks down, staring at the floor, and struggles so hard trying not to shed her tears in front of Laila, she stands up with a broken heart and a sad face that she keeps calm on the exterior, but her heart was on fire.
She avoids looking directly at Laila, because she looks so much like Jassem. She can’t look at her, for all the sadness that it’s going to cause her. For all it’s worth, Jassem has no right to do this to her.
Souad goes to the bedroom, and sleeps next to her mother. In her heart she could hear a voice full of rejection and denial. She can’t bear this feeling she has at this time of night. She’s haunted by vague emotions that get to her. Deep down inside of her, and into the darkness of the night around her, she hears a tender voice that she loves and knows since her childhood, a voice that comforts her. She begins to relax, giving in to Awad Aldookhi’s voice as he sings,
For my beloved one I still crave.
As the longing is my plight,
No words can phrase this feeling.
That haunts my sleepless nights.
Through the night I keep on dreaming.
God knows it with all his might.
God knows it with all his might.
Souad lies down, praying that God would ease her pain, and rid her of her sorrow, and relieve her from the torment of this love.
Chapter 5
Sea Tenderness
Laila and Souad agreed to make an anti plot against the hot line between Jassem and Dalal; they wanted to put an end to this hot line totally. Anyway, this matter is not that hard, in fact, because after considering the situation it turned out that Dalal was the one who would make the phone calls mostly, thus, Laila and Souad had to exchange taking care of the issue of the phone so long Jassem was staying at home. Hence, whenever any of them would find Dalal to be the caller, she would pretend that there was a problem with the phone line and hang up then. Also, any of them would tell her that Jassem was asleep or that he was talking to his paternal aunt, at the hospital, in the kitchen or even bringing some stuff from his own car.
Finally, Dalal’s calls decreased gradually and both, Laila and Souad, started to notice that there were no long night whispering phone calls; rather, most of these calls were fraught with a lot of accusations that would irritate Jassem and drive him to be nervous. No sooner that such calls turned to be mere fights over the phone at the end of their first month in the U.S.A for Dalal lost control over herself totally and she was utterly destroyed by being jealous of Souad and her doubts about Jassem and Souad’s affair. She would repeat, “Why has he become too busy to care for me? Why has he not care for me since the arrival of Souad to the U.S? Surely he likes Souad and is happy for being with her.”
Upon that, Dalal was out of patience and she was eaten up by jealousy and was affected by it to that extent that she accused Jassem so openly of being in love with Souad and of being happy to be with her. Also, she would tell Jassem sarcastically, “By God, you have your excuse, Jassem. You are so right and I cannot blame you for the girl is beautiful and she is sitting right with you all day and night in the same flat. Surely you have your excuse for how come you would think of me now as you have Souad with you? You can never do that, I told you have your excuse. It’s over Jassem, enjoy your time with Souad but never forget to invite me to your wedding party, goodbye.”
Dalal would hang up with Jassem and end the phone call while Jassem would be totally astounded due to her exaggerated anger after denying this issue totally, however, her voice while she was shouting echoed in Jassem’s ears; she would say, “Explain to me how you have become busy overnight since the coming of Souad. How come? For God sake, explain it to me.”
Jassem became so angry due to feeling wronged and humiliated, too. He felt he was steaming with anger due to such false accusations directed by Dalal to him without any consideration. Anyhow, Jassem started to receive similar consecutive phone calls form Dalal in which she repeated the same accusations of his love for Souad and his feelings for her. Thus, Jassem could not take that anymore and reached a final conclusion stating that Dalal became so nervous and unbearable.
Jassem’s tendency to keep away from Dalal started to develop and he became angrier with her phone calls that became a source of his anger, nervousness and fury for she would shout at every call saying, “Souad, Souad, Souad…”
Jassem would ponder, “What are these words she is describing Souad of? She never stops shouting on saying her name. True, Souad is my cousin and she is so beautiful and nice as Dalal says but there is no such a thing between us as Dalal is thinking for Souad is a very reasonable girl and she is not reckless or impetuous. To me, Souad is like my sister, Laila. There is no difference between them.
Jassem would add while thinking, “No, Souad is not like a sister to me as I thought before. No, Souad is attractive and there is something interesting about her.”
At last Dalal managed to achieve what Souad could not achieve. She even managed to draw Jassem’s attention to what he was not aware of, thus, Jassem started to reconsider his previous view of Souad in a different way.
Souad was moving before Jassem and going to and fro with her tall and great figure which was very well-built. She was talking to him decently and delicately with a nice low whispering voice. She was talking to him with her wide eyes which were full of tenderness, affection and respect. Souad was doing everything very skillfully and with perfection and in a very organized way as well. She would discuss many things with him in a very nice way that is marked by tenderness, moreover, she knew how to deal in an organized way with everything and she also knew how to deal with everybody reasonably and in a rational and an understanding way.
Jassem was astonished due to being impressed by Souad all of a sudden and he blamed himself for not having seen her this way before. He wondered how he has not been convinced of her before.
She was doing everything; she was even arranging for the weekend’s outing on behalf of him ad she would even do that without forgetting about anything necessary for it no matter how insignificant it was. She was organized to the core.
Jassem noticed his feelings in great astonishment while realizing Souad’s behavior. He would say; “She would even fetch whatever the house needs herself.”
Jassem became preoccupied with Souad and became busy with his hospital as well for he was following up with the results of the checkup and the X-ray and the results of his maternal aunt’ diagnoses, Umm Abdullah. He was following up with all that so as to finish them in the different departments of the hospital for he really loved his maternal aunt and was so worried about her health. Also, his responsibility as a doctor necessitates that he would hurry up in taking whatever measures needed to know about her case and be reassured and reassure others, too.
But on that very day, he wanted them all to come to the hospital as soon as possible, so, he called them at the house and asked them to come after he had known from the specialist doctor that it was necessary that they would come so as to make some medical checkups and x-rays as well as some necessary diagnoses.
Souad was overwhelmed with joy on going to Jassem and on seeing him wearing his white coat sitting at his desk in the doctors’ room. She saw him while he was absorbed in reading a report in English after reading which he started to have a discussion with an American doctor.
She stood to look at him in tranquility, happiness and while being impressed. She was impressed by him and by the awesome medical atmosphere surrounding him. The room was nice and the medical English jargon which Jassem used in a fluent way impressed her, too. What was more important was Jassem with his tall figure and his wide shoulders that manifested themselves through the very white coat he was dressed in the thing which made her more impressed and added more fuel to the fire of Jassem’s attraction and her impression.
After the coming of the results of the checkups, Jassem told them about the doctor’s desire to admit his maternal aunt to hospital so that she would be able to make some other medical diagnoses necessary to diagnose her case accurately for suspecting some heart problems and the doctor just wanted to be sure of that.
Time passed very slowly mixed with worries and expectations and waiting for Jassem. Umm Abdullah and Jassem’s mother, however, Souad was and Laila were so reassured and they were not worried at all about what was happening because the whole matter was nothing but their own invention as they were the ones to come up with the idea of the disease, traveling and the checkups. All this was nothing but their own scenario.
Laila and Souad would even understand each other through eye contact, they were smiling, whispering to each other though they used to assume being worried and very concerned about the matter so that no one would doubt their behavior. Sometimes, whenever Jassem would speak about the checkups and the diagnoses, they would wonder about that especially Souad who was so astonished by Jassem’s seriousness in following up with this issue. Also, she was astonished by this exaggerated seriousness and the worry that used to characterize his tone.
Both of the girls would wonder why Jassem would take that matter so seriously and in a very sensitive way like this and in a much exaggerated way. They would laugh secretly about that thinking that he is a very accurate doctor who would be worried due to a disease which has no existence.
But what a surprise, the family became angry and everybody was worried about the health of the tender aunt who started to feel maddening pains. Souad became very sad for her mother’s illness and she started to feel guilty due to knowing that she underwent a heart-discovering operation in the hospital that showed that there were three coronary veins which were blocked and that an urgent surgery was needed.
Jassem took the reports and showed them to the specialist doctor then headed for another place in the hospital trying to cut the time short. He was doing his best so as to make the necessary preparations to undertake the operation as soon as possible after the results of the next diagnosis had shown that three coronary veins were blocked.
It was, then, necessary to undertake an operation and the patient had to know the fact about his case. Jassem told his maternal aunt about her case and he told her in a very soft ad pain-alleviating way. He was keen to lessen her worries whereas the American way necessitates that the patient should know about his case in a very direct and personal way, thus, Jassem asked the doctor who did the heart-discovering operation to allow him to tell the patient about that himself.
At that moment, Souad knew about the reality of her mother’s disease and was about to get mad due to knowing that her case was really critical and that it was not a matter of joking as she thought and believed. That was because her mother was in need of a heart-operation.
Abdullah’s mother was admitted to hospital and everybody was around her. Abdullah’s father was beside her as he came from Kuwait immediately after knowing the news. Also, her youngest son, Badr, was there as he came right from London. Everybody wanted to be with this kind woman who used to shower everybody with endless love, however, Faisal just made phone calls to be reassured about his mother’s case for he could not come to her as the nature of his work as an officer in the ministry of interior did not allow him to take an immediate leave at that time. Also, his wife, Fadila, was admitted to hospital, too, for she had a miscarriage at the third month of her pregnancy. Abdullah, her elder son, called her many times and started to follow up with the situation from Kuwait because he was responsible for the work in his father’s absence.
Jassem arranged everything with the hospital’s administration to book a special wing which consisted of a room attached to which was a reception with an additional room, a saloon and a small refrigerator. Jassem would stay sometime with his maternal aunt at the wing to reassure and encourage her while he would talk smilingly and in tranquility with everybody around trying to reassure them and tell them that they needn’t to worry as she was O.K.
Before leaving the room, Jassem’s pager which was hanged to his pocket rang, so, he turned to the phone to dial a certain number. Then he started to speak in a sound English accent and in a perfect way, and then he finished the dialogue and left in a hurry to whoever wanted him. Afterwards, he came back and continued to welcome his maternal aunt’s husband and Badr for he was so keen to drive away their fears and alleviate their worries and reassure them as well then he would take leave of them to continue his work in the doctors’ room.
All of the events helped elevate the status of Jassem in Souad’s heart and soul and in her mind as well. Really, Jassem had his own place in Souad’s heart and he was her beloved. Souad blamed herself for the English language that she did her best and strove to learn in the British Council in Kuwait almost vanished in the air and the practice proved that she needed to learn a lot.
Also, Jassem was there like a moon with his welcoming reception of her father and brother when they came to be reassured about her mother’s case. The scene of the men’s hugging in the airport was really affecting and Souad could not help bursting into tears as her tears flew over her cheeks unwillingly but she wiped them off quickly for fear that her father and brother would be affected or feel the dangerous case of her mother. Actually, she could not control her feelings and she was deeply affected, thus, she asked God to keep them safe and grant them well-being and keep her mother safe ad grant her a long life.
Souad thanked God that only coincidence saved her mother from that disease and she thanked God that Jassem was her cousin as he was that great doctor who was following up with her mother’s case quickly and enthusiasm and he sought diagnoses and checkups in to be done quickly, too. Thus, Souad’s love for Jassem started to grow stronger and Souad started to divide her time between staying with her mother at the hospital and visiting her father and brother at the hotel at the same building that consisted of both the hospital and the hotel. Also, she cared about visiting Laila and her maternal aunt at the house as they did not fall short in coming on daily bases to visit her mother at her special wing in the hospital.
Souad tried to alleviate her father’s pains and to drive away his fears and worries that he started to have since the moment he came to visit them at the hospital. Hence, se took many pictures to show him the nice places they had visited and seen up till that moment. Everyday she tried to talk to him about a different issue so that he could not get bored all the time at the hospital.
The week was over very quickly, and the time of the visit was over, so, everybody left the wing to leave Abdullah’s mother to rest and sleep after getting out of the ICU. Souad remained with her for she couldn’t leave her mother even for a moment for she loved her so much and she cared about her and showered her with sincere love coming out of her soul, thus, she couldn’t leave the room and remained to recite the Glorious Qur’an for a long time praying to God to grant her mother good health and long life.
After the crucial moments had passed with their hard time of waiting and worries, Jassem declared with joy and victory that the health conditions of his maternal aunt passed the dangerous phase safely and that she became in a good condition thanks to God. Therefore, everybody was overwhelmed with joy and they lived in great happiness and praised God a lot, thanking Him for saving Abdullah’s mother from danger and granting her life and good health. Praise be to God, the Lord of the Worlds.
Abdullah’s mother needed sometime to recover, and Souad did not fall short in caring about her even for a minute and she continued to take care of her with love and tenderness while Jassem continued to follow up with her health conditions with the same love and tenderness and he would even tell Souad about medical information that she was ignorant of and he would be patient on doing that as there as enough time to do that for he never ceased to see Souad even at the times of lunch or supper, rather, he would invite her to have a hot meal at the cafeteria of the doctors at the hospital.
Souad would sometimes like to offer him some of the hot meals she would prepare herself and they would even take their tea or coffee at the saloon attached to the room of her mother and they would talk and have many discussions about many things every night before Jassem would return home at midnight.
In fact, Jassem’s attitude was not adopted on purpose so as to get close to Souad but only the circumstances brought them closer and such circumstances brought the time and the good chance so that he would come closer to Souad. Thus, their meetings were pure, nice and interesting without being interrupted by work for any doctor, patient or visitor would come at that late time of the night before he would return home and be reassured about her and his maternal aunt.
Souad stayed up with her worries about her mother with Jassem who providing her with the sense of security and tranquility and those hours that she used to spend with Jassem were the nicest moments as she was accompanying Jassem, sitting with him, hearing his voice and seeing Jassem’s eyes that she really loved and adored.
During such different situations of fear, worry, expectation, and the feelings of security, Jassem saw Souad in such different situations. He saw her while she was afraid, while she was reciting the Qur’an and while she was supplicating God. He saw her while she was active, while she was drowsy and while she was tired. Also, he noticed her in the moments when she was waiting for him, when she was happy, laughing, preparing coffee or tea. He noticed her while she was trying t talk to some of those who work in the hospital in English. Also, he noticed the way she was talking to her father and her glimmering eyes, too. He noticed how she dealt with her brother with love and affection. Jassem saw Souad through all these situations and felt the different feelings she had. Jassem was totally identified with her feelings all.
They passed while all day and night Jassem was getting closer to Souad. Indeed, the hard situations reveal the true nature of a good man. Both of them discovered at the same time that they were close to each other’s heart and Souad was sure that Jassem did all the needed things for her mother and that he did not fall short in whatever aspect. He did not even give her the chance to ask for anything as he would do anything before being asked to do it. Souad also proved a great ability to understand some medical expressions the thing which surprised Jassem and proved her sharp intelligence that was admired by Jassem.
Surely, days came up with many situations and events that were fraught with surprises to the extent that Jassem would not understand at one go. He wondered how Souad enjoyed all that. She enjoyed intelligence, steadfastness, endurance, power and strength. Souad also enjoyed patience and a remarkable ability to endure hardships. She, in fact, never weakened due to danger and was never incapable of facing hardships. How great! All these merits and all these abilities manifested themselves in this little and calm girl. Jassem would say, “Indeed, whoever does not know the nature of a hawk, would roast it.”
Abdullah’s mother left the hospital for the house to be under Jassem’s care and at the same time she would go for consultation in the hospital daily for about a week. Abdullah’s father paid off the hospital bill and went back to Kuwait while Badr remained at the hotel to stand by his mother for sometime so as to be reassured about her.
The flat became full of roses and many different kinds of flowers of different colors for Jassem’s friends from Arab doctors and American ones knew that his maternal aunt’s operation was successful and that she was recovering at that time, therefore, Badr threw a little party for his mother due to this happy occasion, thus, he prepared the living room theater-like so he could have control over the light system through some lamps and some table lamps that he brought from other rooms.
Then he stood at the middle after moving the big table away towards the wall making of it a sideboard that brimmed with sweets, roses and fruits, and then he started to give a theatrical comic performance for his mother’s sake. In such a performance, he was imitating the great artist, Abdul Hussein Abdul Reda as he knew that his mother loved this actor and would become happy due to watching any series or play in which he would feature any character. Thus, Badr started to imitate his role in his new play, “Bye, London” Also, he imitated the role of the actress, Haifaa Adel.
Badr was not satisfied with that only but he started to sing imitating the most famous singers like Abdul Muhsen Al-Muhana, Gharid Al-Shate’s and Talal Al-Madah, Mohamad Abdu as well as the singer whom his father loves most, Awad Aldookhi. He even imitated Aisha Al-Marta in some of her songs because his maternal aunt, Jassem’s mother, likes her.
Badr was so absorbed in throwing his very special party which was so successful and which contained many items like singing, dancing, acting, and imitating to the extent that he sung many songs for Fareed Al-Atrash[7], Nazem Al-Ghazaly[8], Nagat Al-Sagheerah[9] and tried to imitate the TV announcer, Amina Al-Sharah while she was presenting some of the programs and fascinating the viewers with her beauty and youth.
Abdullah’s mother was so happy with this nice party where they enjoyed Badr’s performance that entertained them and filled their hearts with joy and laughter, making everybody happy due to his talent. Thus, everybody assured while they were happy that he would be a star in the world of acting one day.
Abdullah’s mother recovered soon and her conditions stabilized, so, Badr sought permission to leave for London where he would meet his cousin, Khaled, the student in Sand Hurst Academy which is near London. He intended to spend part of his holiday there with some of his friends and some of Badr’s friends, too who used to gather in the summer in London, the city of fog.
Days went on, a day after another in happiness and Souad’s fascination by Jassem’s profession became very obvious in her two wide eyes that had great love and appreciation for Jassem but this time this was another kind of fascination. She was fascinated by his skill as a doctor who was working in such a great and big hospital.
Souad saw that with her own eyes while she was staying in the hospital before and after the operation. Though there was no enough time, Jassem never fall short in caring about his maternal aunt. Souad knew that and knew that he would start working at the hospital at 4 a.m. by following up with the patients so as to follow up with all the cases and write reports about them he would prepare the reports about the cases he diagnosed, revise them and make a report about every single case and submit them to the concerned employee in the hospital.
Time went on happily and Jassem started to be close to Souad due to this fascination she had due to his skill which was different from the kind of fascination teens would have the thing which Jassem was fed up with while seeing it in the eyes of reckless girls whose clothes might be marked by nudity and who shower others with praise endlessly.
All of a sudden, all the barriers between Souad and Jassem were destroyed and he felt he needed her after being fed up with such reckless feelings of teenagers. He became bored with such feelings of maniac girls who would chase him after scoring the decisive goal in each match. They were chasing him but they never knew that they never impressed him. Even Dalal, she was still dealing with him as the famous soccer player who is successful and handsome but no one appreciated him due to his knowledge before or respected him due to that. But after his maternal aunt’s operation, and after Souad became close to him, Jassem became sure that she was not looking at hi as a famous and handsome athletic man, rather, she was looking at him as a successful and able doctor.
Souad saw herself how great the hospital was and saw the way he dealt with specialist professors of medicine and how they considered him a genius student. She saw how they treated him as a fellow doctor who had the same rank and status. She saw that herself, felt that and this was manifested in her feelings.
Jassem enjoyed this new kind of fascination, i.e., her being fascinated by him as a doctor and not as a soccer player. Jassem enjoyed that feeling while seeing for the first time a girl who was fascinated by medicine and the doctor.
This situation was sufficient to achieve more success and fascination and with a nice companionship and good and affectionate relation, Jassem discovered by being close that Souad’s calmness was not a kind of arrogance or pride, rather, she was trying to be herself and he also discovered that Souad became no more the little innocent kid who does not love anything in the whole world except playing with Laila and being with her.
Jassem also realized that he never knew any girl that close in spite of that limelight he enjoyed and in spite of his success. Although he was a young man who had his influence on any girl, he never had the chance, in fact, to do this because he has been busy since his childhood with sports and being trained to soccer.
Indeed, soccer deprived him of his childhood and his adolescence. Also, his concentration on his studies while he was a young man and his attempt to coordinate between his studies and sport took away the rest of his time and deprived him of his dreams. Actually, Jassem did not have the chance to love any girl and he never had a close relationship with any girl, so, Dalal managed to impose herself on him but she never managed to create any kind of understanding or discussion between them. She was fascinated by him and astonished by all the limelight surrounding him.
Dalal would even believe whatever word he would say even if he came telling her that London is the capital of America and she would never accuse him of lying. No, she would believe him thinking that this is the right thing and she would be fascinated by that new discovery of Jassem and she would never consider that wrong, rather, she would consider it a new point of view in the field of political geography.
Jassem knew Dalal very well and he knew the way she was thinking, the way she talked and the way she behaved in. He knew her appearance and her reality. He even knew her way and her reaction in dealing with different matters and he knew he did not have the chance to have a discussion with her because she would never stop talking about her dreams, her wishes and herself.
But Souad was something different, for everything was totally different. She is a good reader with nice, calm and cultivated behavior and she was reasonable. She was cultured and her character was deep and she had something that Jassem did not find with Dalal. She was a good listener; she would listen in a good way, understand and she had a good realization of matters.
Dalal was showering Jassem with the feelings of love but he felt he was sinking in a sea of love with Souad. He found with her depth, warmth, containment but the other kind of love would be likened to a sky that was raining cats and dogs and such a thing would not be found except with a harsh rain. With Souad he felt as if he was in a sea or an ocean and he would never sink in it only for one time, rather, the more he would go deeper, the more he would feel that water is surrounding him from everywhere. There was a kind of depth that he would not feel; it would take him, surround him from all sides, hug him and contain him. It’s true we feel the rain but sometimes we run away from it and even try to hide from it, however, when we would walk by the shore of the sea, we would enjoy touching the water and would like that our feet would get wet eventually. Jassem felt always that the sea was there and that whenever he would like to see it, he would look at it as it was there and he would find it always with water abound.
Indeed, Souad managed to fill Jassem’s senses with such great feelings and she managed to make him sink in her depth, hug him, contain him, surround him without any noisy or any annoying. She did that very quietly, easily, tenderly, and caringly. Such an overflowing feeling forced its way into Jassem’s unconscious till it reached his core.
It was normal for Jassem to feel that way and to enjoy that esp. after Souad, his mother, his maternal aunt and sister had traveled and after he found himself all alone in the house. He wondered how he could not realize that while she was in front of him and how he did not know that or appreciate it.
After Souad’s absence, Jassem started to feel as if he was a fish out of water and he could not forget Souad’s face while she was laughing while he was in the kitchen not knowing how to turn over the piece of meat. He remembered how he shivered after he was burnt due to the heat of the pan in the oven and how Souad became frightened due to that and poured cold water on his hand to alleviate his pains due to the burn. He would never forget her soft, nice and polite and affectionate way. He would never forget that or ignore the effect of her existence.
Ah, Jassem felt a hidden longing and a dire need for the nice company that would drive away the grief due to loneliness and separation though he was happy because the operation was successful and his maternal aunt recovered and traveled in safety.
Jassem though he was going to be at ease whenever he would return home and find it empty and though he would be free but he found himself lonely especially after the weather started to bring the signs of the cold winter that stressed his bad need for the warmth of a company. The night was so silent that it would suppress one’s breaths, and the darkness prevailed in the closed rooms that used to brim with a warm spiritual warm atmosphere that would defeat the darkness of the night and the bitter cold of the winter.
Jassem looked at the phone in the shade of the fading light of the table lamp that was producing an apricot-like color, then he looked to the hands of the golden clock which was hanged right over the fireplace and calculated the time difference between Kuwait an America and stayed waiting in suspense for a time waiting for the passage of time which was passing very slowly and in a very slow manner.
At last, Jassem picked up the phone to his ear while hitting some numbers that he really knew very well.
Chapter 6
The Blare of Love
Jassem hit the number he knew by heart. It was Dalal’s number because he needed an emotional feeling badly to satisfy him and he could not call Souad. At the same time, he felt an increasing desire to satisfy an emotional void that he started to suffer with Dalal but Dalal could not realize that and could not understand his need for love, so, she did not satisfy him.
In spite of that Jassem continued his talk with Dalal till he found a change in her tone and he was shocked by the sarcastic tone that was clear in her words, so, he wondered due to that new way that showed up and drove her to behave that way. Jassem disapproved of that way of hers and stared to feel as if suffocating while he started to feel that he was being humiliated though he was keen to keep away from whatever thing that would humiliate him or any situation that would cause him to feel unappreciated or not respected.
Jassem could not argue for a long time with Dalal or discuss with her such accusations that he directed to her or even the whatever doubts she had about him and told him about right after hearing his voice. She would say, “Now you remembered Dalal and knew her real value? You only did that because Souad returned to Kuwait and you have spare time during which you can call Dalal. Where have you been right from the beginning? Have I become a substitute for her or what? No, Jassem, I would never accept that; enjoy your time with Souad. She is sufficient for you.
Jassem kept silent for a while but this was not the case with the feeling of suffocation deep inside him. He disapproved of Dalal’s tone of pride and victory through which she tried to defeat him and he disapproved of being under her control or subject to her sarcasm, thus, he ended the call unawares and in frustration saying, “As you like. That’s O.K. with me. O.K., Dalal, good-bye.”
Jassem hanged up after hearing Dalal’s words while he was receiving all the memories with open arms. Jassem remembered with love the feelings of love that forced their way to him when he opened the refrigerator to find that Souad had left him the food he liked in cartoon boxes on each of which the name of the food was written. He also remembered that the freezer was full of small boxes which had everything he would need with a ticket on which Souad had written what it contained.
See how gentle she was and how she cared for him? She even cared about his affairs while she was away from him. Upon that, Jassem discovered something new that would prove her interest in him and increase his love for her. That was enough to make him convinced of Souad’s love for him.
Gradually, the fire of love started to be lit in tranquility and Jassem’s eyes started to remember the same memories then this turned out to be a flaming fire of Souad’s image and his longing for her. Such a fire increased day by day and month by month in a very cold winter after which Jassem became dead sure that he was the same as before. Everything changed in him.
After Souad’s departure, an important part of Jassem’s psychological entity was away. Souad took away many things from him. It is true she left a great effect behind on him and on his house but at the end she managed take away everything she had left behind by being away and by her absence.
Jassem would say, “O God. How couldn’t I realize your reality Souad all through this time? How haven’t I felt you? It’s my fault for had I seen her, I would not have thought she was such a little child who was a fiend of my young sister. True, it is my fault.
With the bitter cold of the winter, the rain and the heavy blanket of snow as well as the foggy weather and the cold air, Jassem became unable to take any thing more. He could not bear more loneliness, coldness or deprivation. He wanted to protect himself against such a frustrating weather by remembering Souad who could defeat coldness though she was away but she could do with her warmth and the deep fire that would turn the feelings of longing into a hot coal that would reach his heart and start to grow hotter to the extent that he would be burnt by her absence.
At the night of the winter, darkness prevailed while Jassem was on his way to the hospital and it was so cold and the raincoat and the heavy black woolen pullover with the high cool could not help Jassem or protect him from the cold air that he was subject to but still he was obsessed with the desire for warmth, more an constant warmth. Upon that, the idea of looking for warmth started to preoccupy him and chase him like his shadow and he knew the way to find it ad where it was.
Souad must come and she should stand by him as he was thinking now of the way to deal with his love for Souad that he could not escape He was thinking of her and he never ceased to do as she became part of his time. Even, when he was busy, he would feel her inside him and this was too enough. She must exist in his life. Jassem pondered on thousands of thoughts while wondering in confusion, “Can Souad come while she is still a university student? I don’t think her father who is a millionaire would allow her to marry her at that time.”
Then he would say, “O.K. would Souad agree to marry me while knowing about my relation with Dalal? What would Dalal do then? She would be crazy. That’s just and this will make another story and she would scandalize me before everybody. How should I deal with her? What should I tell her? I could not hide that from her and at the same time I cannot tell her for I do not know her reaction. O God. Dalal is a catastrophe and I could not bear her talk anymore as well as her screams, nervousness and even her voice annoys e.”
Jassem realized he was in a fix at that time and this was very embarrassing, thus, he was thinking of a way out for this.
But he would say, “I never promised Dalal of marriage one day and I never told her any word about love or marriage. She was the one chasing me and I was once fed up with her. That’s right; what can she do then? Of course nothing.”
A decision must be made for time was going on and his heart could not bear to wait. Thus, Jassem called his home and his mother answered him and she was feeling deep at her heart that she would hear Jassem’s voice at that time, so, the mother heard some words that made her very happy. She said, “Thank God. Everything is predestined in this world Jassem. Thank God. God has truly guided you, Jassem. Congratulations, my lovely son. Thank God, Jassem agreed to get married and he wants to marry Souad, his cousin.”
Jassem’s mother told his father about the news but he received it cold-bloodedly in a very ordinary way and did not comment except with one word, “Congratulations.” Jassem’s father tried to hide his internal feelings as he could no object to that so long as it is Jassem’s desire and as he used to respect him since his childhood and he would never object to his doing something so long as he was convinced that what he was doing was the right thing and that this was the right behavior.
In fact, Souad was a very reasonable and rational girl and there was nothing wrong about her but the father was not encouraging the idea of marrying Souad for he wanted his son to marry Dalal for she was a distant relative of his as he loved her mother Nawal since his childhood as he used to play with her in Al-Fraij and Dalal’s mother had been one of his dreams for so long but the still past longing was running deep forever.
Jassem’s mother called her sister on the phone to tell her about her desire to go to her and spoke to her with a tone that was characterized by great joy saying, “I am going to come right now. There is something very important I would like to tell you whenever I would see you.”
In a very short time, Jassem’s mother went to her sister and gave her elder sister a hug while congratulating her and telling her about Jassem’s desire to marry Souad. She firstly proposed to her sister, Abdullah’s mother.
Then came one of the great nights ever when the wedding party was held in a spacious hall in the luxurious villa in Al-Shamiyah and the villa’s garden which was decorated with colored lights on the fences, the trees and the bows while the garden turned to be as if a great body of lights which were lighting up such a quiet place of Kuwait.
Lights were spreading out and the night turned to be like the brightening day that was spreading warmth and joy all over the place in spite of the cold atmosphere in December in the very days of winter. Regardless of the cold weather at that time of the night the women who were invited to the wedding felt a great deal of comfort and joy inside the hall where there were a lot of people on the seats next to the walls and on the pillows which were placed on the ground next to them for the invited people to find a place to sit as they were too many women invited.
The silver salver were carried many times to serve people some drinks, sweets, desserts, and some of the deluxe kinds of chocolate while there were many folk singers singing with their voice echoing at the corners and they were sitting on the ground, at the middle of the hall while women were uttering shrilling sounds to express their joy, so, happiness prevailed. The items of the program of the wedding party were very nice according to the old Kuwaiti way that was chosen by Souad so as to fulfill Jassem’s wish as he asked them not to make a very luxurious wedding for he had no time and did not want to show off.
The invited people were very pleased with the nice songs till the bride came in with her long brightening dress and with a crown adorned with diamonds that were glimmering and reflecting lights attracting everybody’s eyes by that.
Souad sat over the golden chair in the middle of the hall and there was incense everywhere that filled the whole place. Then came out the shrilling sounds of joy the great joy while there were some of the attendees were carrying a fan to provide her with some air while the incense was filling the hall with the smoke of the expensive kinds. Such a smell was mixed with the smell of perfumes that were giving the air a very nice smell.
After a while, the bride went to another whole then came back with a white long dress and sat in the place that was arranged for her behind which there was a big decoration that brimmed with flowers and roses that formed a great background behind the bride and it was fascinating and added to the beauty of the bride.
The wedding went on with the singing and the dancing, the shrilling sounds, the incense, and the serving of the salvers of sherbet, desserts and cold drinks while the songs were echoing all over the place with the voices of those young women singers who were pleasing the women attendees with the best of songs. Also, some of the girls stood to dance to greet the bride by that.
Jassem entered with a group of his young friends and advanced towards Souad as if he were one of the gallant Arab knights with a headband on his hand and with a black garment on his wide shoulders whose edges were adorned with gold. The garment was on his body manifesting by that his tall figure and manifesting the way he was handsome as it was very luxurious. Then he sat beside the bride to adorn her with his wedding gift that consisted of precious pieces of jewelry that adorned her fingers and hands as well as her chest reflecting by that the lights. This also added to her fascination and attracted everybody’s eyes while all the invited women were producing their shrilling sounds of joy along with the joy of the young and the old.
Souad sat lowering her eyes in bashfulness and shyness as well as joy and love. She felt as if she was walking on the clouds. Then after a while Jassem left the whole to the place where men were gathered, however, the wedding became more fascinating though Jassem wanted it to be a simple wedding party and he did not want it to appear as luxurious as it was to that extent.
However, Souad’s father did not like this situation at all and he objected that the wedding of his only child, Souad, whom he loved and who was so dear to him, would be in that very simple way.
Abdullah’s father wanted a fascinating wedding party for his only daughter. He wanted a very expensive, attracting and luxurious wedding party that would be the talk of the society for many years. He wanted to manifest his love for Souad in all possible ways and he wanted to make her happy on the day of her wedding. He never wanted to deprive her of anything no matter how precious it was. This was because he had the facilities and he was wealthy enough, thanks to God.
What was really strange is that Souad was the one who telling her father persistently that he would let her wedding be simple without any exaggeration. She didn’t want to draw the attention of others and she didn’t want to disobey Jassem, rather she wanted to fulfill his wish. At the same time, there was no enough time for making extra preparations for the wedding as Jassem was in a hurry and did not want to be delayed for his holiday was about two weeks only and he had to return to the U.S to continue his studies there with Souad joining him.
Her father agreed though he did not tend to and agreed to her opinion though he was not convinced and though he was not pleased with that. He wondered how could that be the biggest joy of his while this could be the case with Souad’s wedding which he had been waiting for since a long time as he pledged that he would make of it the talk of everybody? Anyway, he ceased to disagree and resigned to the reality as this was the desire of Souad on which she was insisting.
Souad ‘s mother interceded with the father to accede to Souad’s request but the only thing on which the father insisted was bringing the great singer Sabah[10] to sing in the wedding herself and to bring the great belly dancer Samia Jamal[11] to dance in the wedding of his daughter, too.
Everybody agreed to that though the wedding party was on the old Kuwaiti way where the female singer Aisha Al-Marta[12] pleased the attendance with her nice songs with her great band that were sitting on the floor in the middle of the spacious hall while the female attendees were dancing to the music of her nice melodies with the interesting rhythm.
Souad’s dress on that day was not an ordinary one, rather it was a very expensive one and the diamond-adorned crown that she wore and that had been prepared by her mother since a long time ago was something unique and was never-before-seen by people. Also the banquet that was given brimmed with great amounts of food and great kinds of expensive desserts. It was said that the sweets and the desserts were brought by a private plane from Switzerland whereas the chefs were brought from the most famous hotels abroad.
Everything was fascinating and joyful and Jassem was very proud of his bride and happy with her and she was no less happy with him. Everybody was overwhelmed with joy except Dalal who suffered a very sharp shock due to which she could not strike a balance for many following days. The last thing she would expect in this world was that Jassem would abandon her and marry Souad just like that without any further notice.
The news was surprising for Dalal and the whole situation was nothing but a grave and unexpected shock for her though there were a lot of signs that paved the way for that event and Dalal ignored them, denied them and refused to believe them. She refused to recognize such signs, forget about them and remained as she was thinking that so long as she sought to marry Jassem, Jassem would be seeking to marry her. Dalal never doubted even for one moment that there were a lot of changes that Jassem experienced after Souad had been to America. Dalal never understood that Jassem himself changed and that his feelings for her had changed, too. She just refused to believe this or recognize it or even be convinced of it. Thus, there came the problems, the tension ad the clashes between her and Jassem that led to their disagreement that lasted for a long time and the marriage took place.
Souad’s father came to give her a modest present due to this occasion of this blessed marriage. The present was a deed of an old house he bought in America long time ago when her brother, Abdullah was studying engineering at Harvard, Boston. After having finished his study, the father left the house to be under the management of a housing office to manage its affairs. Thus, the father needed this house no more, so, he gave it to his daughter as a present.
The spouse left directly for America surrounded by joy and happiness that prevailed the entire place, the thing which made Laila nip Souad’s knee laughing and congratulating her on having such a nice groom that any girl would love to have him like Dalal. Souad laughed with her and told her happily, “I hope you will get married, too, Souad.”
The plane landed in New York ‘s airport but Souad was never afraid this time for here is Jassem, her beloved, her husband standing beside her with his tall figure being great and standing before her finishing the procedures at the airport then he came to ask her about the number of bags she brought along. Then he looked at the tickets on the plane ticket once more to make sure the number was identical before leaving the airport.
The newly-weds entered the luxurious Austria hotel in New York where Jassem wanted to spend the first days of his honeymoon before leaving for Syracuse and returning to work in the big hospital there. Jassem finished the procedures in no time as he booked a great wing there when he was in Kuwait.
In a few minutes, the bags were taken to the great wing chosen by Jassem while Souad was looking at the hall of the great and spacious hotel. She was looking at the luxurious signs, the luxury, the luxurious chandeliers and curtains that were hanged on the high windows.
Souad stood to contemplate the beauty of the round marble stairs that were arranged delicately in the spacious reception. She was also looking in admiration at the big artistic sketches hanged on the high walls which were adorned with a great decoration with a great bunch of roses that filled the place with a nice smell and a touch beauty.
The elevator took them to floor 57 while they were standing beside each other and Souad was so happy as if she was walking on the air, however, she lowering her eyes in shyness. True, she was standing in shyness while she was hardly take her breaths and did not know what to do or say. She did not even know where to look and tried to divert her attention from Jassem, her beloved, and her husband, Jassem, yeah. She feared he would know about her feelings as usual, thus, she tried to busy herself not to think about him or about herself.
In some moments, they reached floor 57 where there was there special wing at the end of the corridor. They entered, so, the lights were on automatically. No sooner had Jassem opened the door, but the lights fascinated them, so, Souad was happy to see the roses on most of the tables with greeting cards from the administration of the hotel to congratulate them as well as some cards for the same purpose from their friends who knew about the time of the newly-weds’ arrival. Congratulations.
Souad entered the wing while she was shivering out of the love that filled her senses and while the sense of longing was burning inside her. She entered as if she was walking in another world far away. She sat in the chair without showing her tension and she could not stand long no more but she felt a great longing for Jassem and this was attracting her. This feeling was mixed with extreme shyness that kept her where she was, perplexed not knowing what to do at that crucial moment. Jassem knew about her feelings as usual, so, he drew near her, came closer, stared at her and asked her to come and see New York’s beauty from upstairs.
Souad stood looking from behind the broad glass window and she was flowing with her feelings while looking at the outlook of New York from upstairs and her resistance became zero due to the awe of that situation. Jassem was still beside her, with nothing in between and she was doing her best to open her dreamy eyes to the magic world with the fascinating and magical rays of light
Souad was busy with what lied beneath this broad and high window while Jassem was drawing nearer with nothing busying him but her. He stood looking at her and blaming himself harshly and posing many questions to himself. “How couldn’t I see this beauty? How was I busy with other things that Souad all the time?”
Jassem stood watching Souad in love and in an unparalleled admiration and he could not cease to ask himself the same question and blaming himself on his ignorance and shortcoming. He asked her in a tone that he intended to make quiet and normal, “Want to drink something, Souad?”
Souad just answered with a nod as she did not have the power to answer him or even to speak up. She did not even ha the power to look into Jassem’s eyes, the ones which she adored and loved and in which she noticed a certain glimmer that made her very shy. She looked away and continued to look at New York once more without feeling anything around her except Jassem. At the same time Jassem was drawing near her more and more while he had certain emotions mixed with longing, admiration, and confusion as well as a burning desire to drive away such bashfulness and embarrassment of Souad that developed tension and her face turned to be rosy in the course of time.
Souad stood at her place with nothing moving except her eyes which were looking outside to escape Jassem’s looks that were directed to her like unseen electric pulses that would electrify her body and make her heart shiver, so, the blood would be gushed hot to the veins of her body and she would develop a certain feeling all through her body the thing which would make her shiver and burn her with feelings.
This was quite a dreamy moment, with brightening colors, with fading lights and with confusion. The fire of feelings was set and the feelings of longing were powerful and they would attract Souad with a hidden power. She pulled Jassem towards her and he did come to her and came closer to surround her waist with his hands while pushing her towards himself looking for her lips to send an urgent, hot and eloquent and everlasting message. Her emotions would receive such a hidden call that was coming out of a heart that was filled with longing, love and yearning.
Chapter Seven
Burning Memories
Souad opened her eyes to see little fainting light coming through her bed room window; she kept moving in her bed delving in a moment of imagination remembering when she slept in the same room when she first came to America. She also remembered how she used to sleep burdened with her grievances and distress throwing herself into her mother’s bosom praying to God to alleviate her love agonies.
She slowly lay not knowing what she could do to kill this long time here. O God! It is a different feeling this time! It is also a different situation this time, for she has become Jassem’s wife! She then lived in her house in Syracuse, not as a guest as was the case last time! She feels she is a queen managing her kingdom’s affairs herself and ruling it herself, but still, she is ruled by her authoritative crowned king who ascended to her heart throne: Jassem, her husband, her beloved, her lifetime partner.
O thanks God, she sighed comfortably and so deeply feeling as if having hardly climbed a high rocky mountain which she managed to reach its peak, for she feels happy, safe and the ecstasy of her triumph and the pleasure of her success as well as the greatness of victory. She lay in her bed satisfied with herself and pleased with her love that kept growing deep within her heart and all over it.
She rose and sipped tea in the living room. She approached the window overlooking a new world; she had a new outlook on the world having a new feeling of happiness. She opened the glassy window seeking to feel the coldness of the air at that tie of the year. She wanted to feel the ecstasy of the white snow and the deep calmness, stillness and the slowness; she had a new feeling that time. It is such a beautiful enjoyable feeling. It is wonderful to live by herself in her own house in the other hemisphere with her husband, her partner, Jassem, her very beloved.
She greatly feels content with her feeling she exists with Jassem. Time passes calmly, happily and tenderly, enjoying the sweet feeling of living with him. He tried to busy her with letting her do a lot of things so she would feel bored or distressed due o his being busy night and day at the hospital.
Life goes on in the same way for some time till they would settle their affairs and feel established. Jassem was done with the procedures of Souad’s joining Syracuse University to complete her studies to fulfill his promise he gave to her father who insisted that his daughter would complete her studies and have an academic degree; tat was the condition for Jassem to marry her at that time.
Jassem submitted all the papers required of Souad to the University and one day later, he called her from the hospital to tell her she was to get ready to go out within one hour because he would go to her at lunch time to take her to the bank to sign some papers herself and he reminded her to take her passport along with her.
Souad wet to the bank accompanied by Jassem. She stood beside him looking at him admiring him and his amazing personality as well the way in which he would talk fluently to the bank clerk who asked him to fill in an application which he filled quickly and skillfully. Then, he passed it on that @@stand to Souad; he asked her to sign in a certain part of the paper which he pointed to with his finger. Unhesitantly, Souad wrote her name without even reading the minute details printed above her signature, but Jassem told her that having signed the paper; she became entitled to withdraw any sum of money from the bank account whenever e wanted to!
They get out of the bank; Souad walked beside Jassem, still feeling amazed and proud of his charismatic and captivating character that overpowers her making hr feel that she was walking beside a giant who absorbs all her feelings, embraces her, loves her and protects her!
Within a few days, she received the bank visa card that had been sent to her by mail which caused her to be happy an she did not forget to show it to Jassem when he came home late at midnight so she would thank him for the visa car. She felt Jassem greatly trusted her, for he made her entitled to withdraw whatever sum of money she wanted from his bank account without taking his permission or discussing the matter with him! She felt greatly moved by that stance taken on Jassem’s behalf because he wanted to prove that he did love her and trusted her and even respected her. She in turn was sure that it was not a mistake for Jassem to trust her as she would never betray his trust.
Within a few days, Souad met many Arab male and female students at University who were living in New York. She got to know more people and their friendship relationships with many of them were further cemented. She agreed with them to dedicate times to go to the market, the sporting club and the movies as she felt the world there was new and she wanted to explore it; she indeed felt she was free.
Souad felt so pleased with these gatherings of Arabs because she was eager to talk with any person outdoors because her English dialect was different from the Americans’ which would cause her a problem whenever she wanted to he female American students; they would talk about issues different from these she was used to an they were of different moods, culture and interests. Add to this, she was not familiar with the American accent and the tempo of their speech. All these factors formed a psychological barrier that hindered her mingling with them. But being with her female and male Arab colleagues made things and life much easier for her, and even more enjoyable and nicer; thanks God!
Then, she felt she needed to improve her English writing skills. True, her command of English was good, as it enabled hr to join University, and besides, her studying English in Kuwait benefited her, yet she needed to improve her English skills and learn more things, and Souad managed to do so most competently and efficiently.
Souad enjoyed her life in America; she felt free and desired to endure shouldering her responsibility insistently and successfully. Yes! She wanted to prove to her father that she would never fail his expectations and she would succeed God willing. She gave him her word to reassure him before her traveling. Moreover, she wanted to prove to Jassem she was no longer that little girl as he thought. No! She has become a mature responsible and successful woman deserving to bear his name and belong to him. She also wanted to prove she was able to fulfill her obligations, as a doctor’s wife, towards her husband, home and herself.
In fact, Souad loved Jassem and she never wanted to let him down. Rather, she wanted to prove to him, practically, not verbally, that she deserves to be the wife of Jassem An-Nasser! So, she started to schedule everything and plan everything. She smartly paid heed to her interests in order of importance; she would not pay attention to something sacrificing the other as she was aware of the priorities.
The time for exams was due and she needed a longer time to study. Souad started thinking rationally how to solve this problem. She told Jassem they would dedicate specific times to studying so both he and she could read their books and to forget about their visiting their friends till they would be no exams.
Actually Souad was in a dire need of more time to achieve more success and attain more excellence. Jassem welcomed her suggestion and approved of what she had said as he was convinced of her point of view. So, he said to her,
“I’m so busy working on the theoretical part of my fellowship studies; I want to get done with it so I can work on the practical part of it at hospital. Thanks, Souad for this brilliant idea and this sacrifice!”
Time passes like the whispering friendly breeze; they had calm promising times together, yearning for more success and eagerness. One day, the officer of the house granted to her by her father in Boston contacted her asking about bank account number so he could transfer the rent money to it, for she was the new owner of the house.
She informed Jassem of that and he nodded his head apathetically without commenting on that, for he did not want to interfere in such familial financial affairs as he felt he had nothing do with them and he did not want them to have any effect on his life .
As a matter of fact, Jassem was emotional and so proud of himself. Thus, he would so sensitively react to Souad’s richness. He did not want to interfere in such affairs as they were a reminiscent of old memories for him that are related to the difference in the financial status of their families. True, these are such old past memories, yet their remnants were still hidden and clinging somewhere in his soul!
In fact, Jassem felt satisfied deep within with that great grant given to her as he did not want her father to think his marrying his cousin implied her father would keep controlling her! No! She has become his wife and he is supposed to be the only man in her life. He never doubted that because he knew Souad well and was sure of her love for him, admiring him and adoring him!
Souad indulged in leading her new life most lovingly while keen on achieving success. She spent enjoyable times amid the books in the great huge library whose wide and high windows overlooked a vast garden whose trees were covered with white snow. Everything around Souad has become so white including the long roads that stretched for a long distance as ice was accumulating on both sides of them and she would drive her car enjoying everything new around her!
When home, spending hr leisure time, Souad used to watch what was shown on TV stations whose transmission would last night and day. She started receiving the little goods she asked some companies to send to her beside dozens of advertisements and letters she received; she wondered how come she received all these messages as she kept wondering saying, “How come they knew my name, Jassem?! How come they knew my address?” Jassem replied, “Through the magazines we have subscribed to.”
It was a new experience for Souad who became successful in all fields due to her being ambitious, studious, a hard worker and a close friend of many female students and the wives of male students as well as the resident doctors there in addition to her being a loving affectionate wife who loves her spouse, her beloved beside whom she lay like a domesticated cat enjoying the warmth induced by an ever-hot temperature source that can never be cooled!
Time passes like a beautiful dream, for Souad lived while inside her, there was a big dream coming true bit by bit; she was backed by time as everyday, she would make a new useful achievement; she started to have full command of English and she even started to speak with an American accent that it was hard for the one speaking with her to realize she was not a native English speaker. Further more, she has started to sense Jassem love for her and his growing admiration of her though he never confessed that to her as he never said to her, “I love you!”
Nights pass full of times of love, affection and pleasures; there would be rare times at which Jassem can deduct from his studying hours so he could the chance to speak to Souad, for he had a hell of things to do and Souad was aware of that, but, despite his many obligations and the long time he spends away from her at hospital, she was overwhelmed by an inner feeling of love that would keep them connected together and make her even more attached to him because he is strong, bold, brave and able to take the right decision. Besides, he had self-knowledge and was fully aware how to manage his life affairs!
Yes, although he was always busy, Souad never complained about the nature of Jassem’s work as a doctor as she has already known it since she came with her mother, her maternal aunt and the latter’s son; she felt that he was torn between his work and his desire to go with them on a picnic, shopping and spending some time outdoor; he would not often be able to do that except on weekends.
Sometimes, Souad would wish Laila would come to visit them and spend some time with them. She used to talk to her about that many times asking her to come, for they are lifetime friends and their love is not affected by her being away or near from her in the least. Oh, God make love everlasting.
Laila used to amuse Souad through her long-period phone calls and her many interesting stories about the family, relations and friends, especially, Dalal who kept trying to have Jassem for her alone though knowing that Jassem since the very beginning has been Souad’s beloved which is, to her, taken for granted. The whole thing is nothing but Dalal’s exceeding her limits getting closer to him and to capture him though it has been known since childhood that Souad is Jassem’s would-be wife given that what happened with Dalal was due to his rashness, nothing more or less!
Therefore, Souad was relatively happy to learn that Dalal got married to a young handsome fighter of a good origin who proposed to marry her two months after Souad had got married to Jassem and she accepted his proposal unhesitant; their marriage took place in March i.e., only three after Jassem’s marriage!
Laila said wondering, feeling amazed, while still speaking to Souad from Kuwait,
“How could she find another man that quickly?! It seems as if she hides them in her pocket! She can’t live without knowing some man; there is always a substitute player ready to join her game in the field!”
Souad laughed because of Laila’s sport-like statement and she asked her to tell her aunt and her husband to accept her highest regards. She also asked her to congratulate Dalal on her behalf on her marriage. When Jassem returned from the hospital after midnight, she informed him of the latest news of Ad-Dirah[13] telling him about Dalal’s getting married to that fighter, but on hearing that, Jassem felt surprised, and astonished and started wondering about that; he could not help saying, “How come Dalal got married that quickly?!” He paused for a moment and then, said, “How old is he?! Who is his father?! To which family in Kuwait does he belong?! Where does he live?! What is his military rank?!” And so forth!
Jassem’s questions were so many and quick following one another as he was yearning for knowing all the details of Dalal’s marriage and the circumstances in which her marriage took place! His interest in that subject was crystal-clear for Souad who did not how to answer all these questions at once! Actually, she did not pay much attention to this matter. Consequently, she did not care about asking Laila about such details as she did not expect Jassem to be that interested in them!
Oh, what details! They made him react to them that fervently so he would rise and become active forgetting about sleeping and his weariness; he was fully awake while asking those questions, one after another seeking to know the minute details of Dalal’s marriage and about her husband as well! Jassem kept asking these questions while feigning being busied with the cool that was almost burning in the stove before him whereas Souad was sipping her jealousy and confusion as well as her depression mixed with that hot chocolate that was in that thick cup in her hand tightening its grip over it all of sudden!
At last, he kept silent and was absent-minded while still busied with the burning cool. Meanwhile, Souad sat like a cat suffering from coldness in a winter night, a long winter night that is hateful, wild and cold. Indeed, it was such a long painful hurting night, for their eyes were cast on the burning cool in the stove as the flames were crackling whereas they tried to escape any eye contact!
Their feelings were fiery mixed with jealousy, love and grief as well as fear beside anger; they were wild, tumultuous, silent, violent and faint warring feelings conflicting with each other; the feeling of safety started to be lost and vanished with the passage of time and hours!
It was getting hotter in the living room while Souad’s heart was getting cooler feeling as if swinging in a state of fluctuation as feeling that Jassem was still thinking of Dalal and was still indulging in oceans of memories that were full of waves of unrest shaking due to Dalal’s spectrum! All of a sudden, many facts turned into illusions and at the same time, both of them felt that some concealed secret had become unveiled; it was something mysterious in the past that has become no longer shrouded in mystery.
Souad tried to forget about that situation avoiding commenting on it through talking to Jassem about it; she tried to drop the subject and avoid referring to it, but unfortunately, she unconsciously kept all these details, pains, feelings in store deep within!
Souad leads a life full of passion, love, jealousy and torture, trying not to blame Jassem for past events, for indeed, she loves him and she even remembers how she felt agonized during his absence that he was used to traveling a lot of times when he was a footballer.
She remembered how she was proud of him when he was a member of the national team who went to Baghdad when his team scored three goals consecutively in the second halftime though the Kuwaiti team was almost defeated in the first halftime; they won the match at the end and Jassem as well as his national team champions returned to Kuwait and were received like heroes. All the Kuwaitis saluted them and their cheers expressed their happiness singing with the waves breaking on the shore:
“O blue Kuwaiti team! Play in the field!”
These were the days! She spent all her lifetime loving Jassem! She was as proud of him as he was her beloved before being her cousin. Souad was sure of her feelings and her love for him; her love for him was deep, rich and endless growing stronger, deeper with passage of time which lends an emotional natural everlasting endless feeling that is ever burning!
So, Souad most calmly kept surrounding Jassem with abundant love which he felt and was pleased with and even satisfied about it; she did not feel that Jassem needed to hear love words or adoration comments or even refer to burning feelings. Souad loved Jassem from the bottom of her heart and she had a feeling all the time that he sensed her feeling for him tat he did not need to her words of love or comments!
She was convinced of what she thought satisfying her bashfulness and shyness. Jassem in turn was sure and dad certain of Souad’s love for him, her true feelings. As for Souad, her emotional situation was different; true, she loves Jassem more than life, but sometimes, she could not realize what she represented to him or his love for her, but this situation disturbs her yet she never spoke about these feelings that annoyed her and made her heart sick!
Souad would often wonder if Jassem really loved her or he had to marry her just because she is his cousin or maybe as she had no emotional relationship with any other person before him, or even because their mothers are more of friends before being sisters! Her little heart was full of such thoughts as she kept wondering about Jassem’s love for Souad and how he is attached to her!
Souad so much doubted his love for her thinking he did not love her though she many times noticed signs of his love for her in his eyes, yet she has never heard him telling her he loved her since their marriage and up till now! Unfortunately, Jassem never confessed his love for Souad; he never did so as only his treating her stood for his love for her feeling it would suffice to enjoy mutual respect.
Oh, what a pain she feels when repeatedly thinking that way! In fact, this how Souad felt deep within! She still feels sick at heart when seeing Jassem sitting before her absent-minded as if he imagined he left for Kuwait asking and inquiring about Dalal’s husband to know how she met him and why she accepted him and then, married him! Did she love him? Did she?!
Souad tried to ignore what she saw and to avoid acknowledging that crystal-clear fact before her that is about Jassem’s loving Dalal up till now despite their getting married one year ago! One year passed quickly after their marriage! She delved in oceans of memories remembering when she entered that house for the first time and how she used to sit away from Jassem, not daring even to get closer to him or eve dare look at him!
She remembered how she was overwhelmed by passion and how she used to speak to Jassem from a distance without raising her eyes towards him while he was lying on the sofa to relax as he felt a backache out of his being exhausted and meanwhile, she would remain silent listening to her heart beats and to the footsteps of her feelings inside her body everywhere! She would browse though the magazine pages so the sound its paper produced would hide her tumultuous heart whose beats sound kept getting louder bit by bit!
At last, she became Jassem’s wife. She sighed comfortably and put the empty chocolate cup on the table. She changed her seat and went to sit on the sofa beside Jassem, getting nearer to him like a cat yearning for warmth in a cold winter night. She would stick by him with her eyes full of innocence, tenderness, passion and fondness throwing away from her mind the name of Dalal, her story and all the bleak thoughts reminding her of Dalal into the fire of the stove.
She sticks by him more and more happy about that true pure love she feels inside her which grows more and more day by day in her heart which lends her a feeling of further trust and pleasure mixed with a mélange of the ability of overcoming her feelings of weakness and jealousy which she cannot endure or let affect her or ruin her life, for whatever the circumstances are, Jassem is her own husband who has always been her beloved since a long time; he is hers alone.
When it was night and silence and love prevailed, the voice of Awad Aldookhi was heard echoing the sound of love adding more beauty to the night making they spend more pleasant hours sleepless at late night. It turned jealousy into ashes and love into fires fueled in the hearts of the two young loving spouses who watched with the eye of love and passion the burning cool in the stove before them while relaxing enjoying looking at the red flames that induced warmth, eagerness and love, hearing those sentences that are pregnant with love, jealousy and blame words:
“O beloved, beloved! You are my love and destiny!
I granted you my sincerity and perfume all-heartedly!
Till when will you keep doubting me feeling madly jealous?!
Lovin’ you and your love is my life and provisions.
Jealousy is what separates lovers.
So, never believe in your doubts or belie my heart
As if you forsake it, you are the one to blame.
You are the one to blame!
Chapter Eight
A Long Night
Months of pregnancy pass and Souad enjoys that pleasurable experience with he same ecstasy and the same happiness, enthusiasm and success that is a characteristic of her life; she would never surrender to sleep and never be negligent when it comes to her business administration studies. Also, she would never forget about her major role in caring for Jassem and meeting his needs because Souad is not the kind of a woman who would sacrifice her successful marital status for a successful work.
Anyway, things were getting better due to Jassem’s understanding and respect for Souad as well as her interests as he knows this is her father will and his advice to her. So, he encouraged her to study and supported her to do so. As for Souad, she was greatly obsessed by his love for Jassem which never changed except in the sense that it grew even stronger!
The winter months passed overburdened with the cold air and the white snow that inspires enthusiasm for success which Souad is encouraged to attain; she remained the same insistent hard worker without feeling guilt in the least as she never was negligent towards her husband whom she loved.
Then, came the spring accompanied by tender hope that makes her surrounded by warmth, kindness and hoping to smell the odor of limitless success having competently and skillfully strived against the very pressures that people face all the time in life as she was excellent at making accurate choices and studying situations as if born to face such a challenge since she opened her eyes for the first time to behold this big world!
Birds flew everywhere hovering in the sky and the bright sun beams radiates warmth and love among hearts everywhere while Jassem paid much attention to Souad’s life and health during her pregnancy as well as her love!
Jassem was most of the time keen on her being in a good condition, nutrition, comfort and psychological condition; he kept pampering her jesting with her all the time encouraging her to complete her studies, especially as she became in the second academic year at the faculty of commerce. So, Jassem kept pampering her whenever offering her anything as he did not want to deprive her of anything because he was so keen to be the only man in her life apart from her father’s wealth or her grandfather’s legacy!
With the passage of smooth days, their happiness and joy gets more when Laila came and by the coming of summer, all started feeling comfort and delight because of her cheerful existence with them, for she was such a nice person extremely vivacious induces a true feeling of life, activity, youthfulness and freedom in those around; in fact she was so cheerful, content and happy and her heart brimmed with love for others, commonsense and delicacy.
Once in a cheerful shiny morning, the property developer in Boston called her offering to sell her house her father had granted her; there was a Japanese company interested to buy it after the old residential area had become a trade town full of activity attracting great investors! The Property developer kept calling her frequently talking to her about that subject. Laila asked Souad and Jassem to visit Boston as she wanted to see Quinsy market that is a tourist place full of department stores that are old-fashioned having an artistic touch and are visited by people from all over the world.
Souad supports Laila’s suggestion as she wanted to visit Cambridge district to see Harvard University from which her brother, Abdullah graduated who studied engineering there. Jassem agreed to heading for Boston since this was their desire. Souad started preparing everything in coordination with Jassem to choose the proper time that suits him. She arranged everything as usual and fixed a date with the property developer there, booked rooms in a hotel and flight tickets and got a car forgetting nothing at all. They all went to Boston to meet the man at the appointed time.
After a brief discussion, they agree to sell the house as everything was ready and the developer wanted a commission not only for selling the house, but also for buying it and he started to think about selling them a house in Syracuse
In New York where Jassem worked; he sent them the photos of the house there near the hospital.
The man followed the procedures and the house became easily theirs out of Laila’s enthusiasm that was fascinated by the beautiful splendid houses and she confessed that eagerly, but Jassem vetoed to buying such big splendid houses that none of his doctor colleagues could afford buying and he could not be a different case. Souad was convinced of his view and they choose a little house that Laila did not like as she did with other houses, yet she surrenders to her brother’s and his wife’s desire apart from her inner thoughts.
50% of the sum was paid as cash in advance as they agreed to pay the rest of its price by installment deducted from Jassem’s salary in stead of the money paid for the rent of the hospital lodging place. Jassem insisted on that as he did not accept to live in a house that was paid for by his wife’s father’s money.
Souad felt pleased about that compromise as she wanted a comfortable house with more bed rooms, one of which would be for the coming baby, another for her mother and aunt and another for the nanny with a private bathroom. In fact, it was a marvelous house more beautiful and bigger than the house they lived in then since Jassem rejected living in a big house and Souad’s paying for the new house. He acted on the advice of the property developer and chose other two houses for rent so he could pay the rest of the bank’s money by installment. The man undertook to send them to a nearby property office in Syracuse to rent those houses and supervise them.
The family was established in the new hose and Souad felt comfort after preparing the baby’s room and painting it in a color that she liked. It was furnished in an artistic way as all the furniture was in the form of bears playing in garden full of animals.
She was about o give birth and she got ready for the delivery; se asked her mother to come to her along with hr aunt, Jassem’s mother and both care for her till the time of delivery. Jassem returned home accompanied by his wife and son, Ahmad from the hospital. He was a beautiful baby boy who came to the world when it was almost winter time.
Jassem entered the house carrying his baby, Ahmad Jassem An-Nasser rejoicing so much and the feeling of fatherhood was growing inside him as was his feeling towards Souad, his wife, and Ahmad’s mother that was a great feeling. Many congratulate them on the baby’s birth receiving bunches of flowers, telegrams and phone calls all the time.
Jassem, Ahmad’s father, felt he scored the first goal in his marital life match in recompense for that goal he wished he had scored in the World Cup Championship in Spain 1982, a few months before Ahmad’s birth. Jassem wanted to take part in those matches joining the Kuwaiti team, but he was busied with studying and working in America. His only consolation was seeing the Kuwaiti flag flaring high in the sky of Spain amid the giant football countries.
Souad wanted Ahmad to come to life on Jassem’s birthday, but he came to it two days earlier as Jassem’s birthday is on October 28 and Ahmad was born on October 26. Souad thought, “No matter, it should suffice Ahmad’s horoscope is Scorpion like his father!” In fact, Ahmad’s mother was so pleased not believing Ahmad that beautiful baby is the fruit of hr love and Jassem, her beloved, is his father. She thanked God as she was completely happy about her growing family paying to God to grant them eternal happiness.
A week later, in a party, the family received congratulations from relatives, friends and colleagues. Laila called them from Kuwait congratulating them on the birth of Ahmad Jassem An-Nasser and asking them to send her his photo as she could not wait to see him and them. Had not it been for her being busy studying at the faculty of Arts, Sociology Department, she would have been among them, especially, as her mother and aunt did not return to Kuwait till then.
Abu Abdullah, Souad’s father’s happiness was great as he could not believe his daughter Souad grew older, got married and became a mother!
“Unbelievable! My daughter, Souad has become a mother?! Unbelievable! I want to see her and her son, Ahmad now. God save him!”
Abu Abdullah could not wait as he flied to New York to check on his beloved daughter and to see his dear grandson, his daughter’s son. He carried him with his hands, kissed him pampered him and called him with his heart brimming with love from top to toe; the baby received his grand-parent’s kisses who could not hide his happiness and love for his grandson!
Days pass happily serenely and Jassem was fond of his little son, Ahmad who started to recognize him; he would smile at him and shake his legs and feet strongly whenever he embraced him! Jassem liked him so much that he would wake him up to jest with him and play with him as he could bear not seeing him for a night to play with him as he liked!
In fact, Jassem was a kind father and husband as he could not hide his love for Souad, Ahmad’s mother and his beloved who could captivate his feelings bit by bit expressing abundant love for him all the time.
Souad loved him without confessing that as she too shy and bashful to confess she loved him though she was sure love had signs and tokens and it as needless to confess it since it was there; actions speak louder than words and they prove love and grant it eternality.
So Souad thought about expressing love in terms of actions, not words!
Some time later, she received many letters on one day from the bank and the property office manager and she placed them on the table till Jassem would arrive from the hospital after midnight as usual to read them as she was busy caring for Ahmad whom she had left with the nanny till she missed him for a long time today as she went to the faculty library to collect some information.
Souad left Ahmad in the bosom of his loving father who kept jesting wit him, pampering him biting and kissing him; Jassem put his finger between his little fingers and raised his arms and then, held his legs shaking them to teach him playing football at that young age to kick football and score goals and victory.
Souad love from the bottom of her heart on seeing that beautiful scene saying, “Come on Jassem! Ahmad is still young. Wait till he grows older as then, he can play football and be a champ like his dad!”
Jassem was happy to hear that sweet comment from Souad as the love for football is an integral part of him and the brightness of the field is still in his eyes as well as the spectators’ cheers and players’ enthusiasm that echoed in his ear. He embraced his son and kissed him, then, he threw him up like a ball some times and then, embraced him with his string arms. He asked Souad to play the video tape to watch the last World Cup matches that Kuwait partook in within the third Asian group.
Ahmad lay like a kitty in his father’s bosom who sat on the floor stretching his leg watching the match involving Kuwait and Czechoslovakia in which they finished all squares and all the world papers mentioned that match!
Jassem watched that matched they played in Spain enthusiastically as if watching it for the first time as he loved football so much watching the match with his heart, not eyes as he was fully concentrating on the match feeling he was running in the field going to and fro along with Ahmad
At-Trabolsy, Fatehi Kameel, Saad Al-Houty, Faisal Ad-Dokhail, Abdullah Maayouf, and Naeem Saeed, Yusif Suwaid, Mahmoud Jumaah and Hammoud Feleitah.
He felt as if he was playing them; here he was kicking the ball into the air when Jassem Yakoob scored that goal playing against Moscow! He was crying along with Sheikh, Fahad Al-Ahmad As-Sabbah raising his arm waving the flag. He was violently shaking out of excitement and Ahmad was still between his arms. Souad cried out of fear for her little baby and she rose to take him from him saying while laughing, “I dread you may think he is a ball and kick him, Jassem! Give him to me, please!”
She put him in bed to sleep in calmness away from that noise of his father that was usual whenever watching one of those matches of Kuwait even if for the tenth time!
Souad noticed Jassem’s love for kids in his eyes and felt his great love for his son, Ahmad and his abstaining from tackling her own financial affairs and the yields of the house granted to her by her father! Jassem would refuse discussing such affairs sometimes explicitly and avoid that tactfully and implicitly some other times that ere many!
Sad yielded to his desire, not wanting to pressurize him regarding such affairs he disliked as that was Jassem she knew; he did not like to argue about that as he would not break his word as he would take decisions unhesitant knowing well what to do and what not to do, what he liked and what he disliked. Thus, she kept silent unwillingly submitting herself to God’s Will as that was the sixth, seventh or even tenth time in which Jassem refused to check her bank account or the property office situation.
Jassem refrained from caring about such financial affairs, not to interfere in Souad’s running her properties affairs, starting from that house granted to her by her father on her marriage. At last, she realized, at that very moment, that Jassem indeed did not want to interfere in hr own affairs and she got his point well and started to rely on herself.
She started running her business by herself and to understand such financial, administrative, legal and property affairs that require knowledge and so, she decided to take property investment courses to know the secrets of that broad domain.
She was convinced she was in a dire need of such a specialized study for her to know many secrets regarding such business such as project planning and financing small projects or visibility studies as well as the legal aspects involved to launch a project and he procedures of the commercial license.
She had also to know the guidelines of projects as she did not know how her business started and grew unexpectedly. It flourished as a result of a mere coincidence at the beginning due to the time changes and circumstances that led to that commercial breakthrough. At the second time, it was the new construction plans in that area that led to rise in prices of land properties there so her trade would prosper; thanks to God!
Still, Souad needed to know more about the price changes scientifically-speaking on economic bases apart from coincidences. She also wanted to know the change in rules and the variations of land properties according to their location as well s construction rules, buying and purchase, conditions of bank dealings and interacting with people or reliable departments besides the rules of construction societies and taxation, etc.
Souad was keen to know about all that and she used to laugh within herself proud of her family origins s it was reputable for its commercial dealings in Kuwait. Her father used to implant in her self-confidence, not arrogance so she would be patient and insistent so she can defy obstacles seeking to succeed. She smiled saying insider herself, “God save you father! God grant you long age and keep you for me!”
Time passes and life comes and goes, and Souad kept praying to God for her father to live longer and to have mercy on her grandfather; she would carry on her life enthusiastically. She would continue her studying and research work and work in the domain of property investment in an office temporarily as it was small business and she hired a female secretary starting it with a considerable capital.
She started her career in that domain she had become versed in after knowing the necessary info and the guidelines helping guide her to go through this experience in this great field that requires ambition for success.
Souad excels rapidly like a guided arrow as her business get bigger and her associates get more; her answer machine was full of recorded messages almost all the time and she stuck to the work methodology that led to her success that was about earnestness, quickness, competence and gaining others’ trust.
Souad tried many times to explain her financial situation to Jassem taking about the financial affairs and the big business affairs that she needed his consultation to grant her more self-confidence in some critical situations full of challenges and achievements, and he would tell her assuring, “You know, Souad, I know you are clever enough and I trust you as you studied all these things well. So, please, never consult me on such matters again as I don’t know what to say about them, for I know you know them better than me!”
Souad felt depressed and ashamed having heard that abrupt decisive answer so she would have survived such a critical situation in the future not to feel guilty or embarrassed!
Jassem tried to alleviate hr pain noticing her agony in her looks as she gazed at the black sky. At the same he gave her no chance at all to repeat her attempt to involve him in such affairs, having given her no other option. So, she nodded her head agreeing on his view unwillingly so she could avoid such embarrassment like that she felt that night. She would not consult him again, whatever her need for his opinion was!
She understood that he tactfully implied she was not to hurt his feelings again as he was still sensitive when it came to her father’s and family’s wealth. Here, Souad felt unprecedented shame she had never felt since marriage; she felt embarrassed, depressed and guilty on hearing Jassem’s words that besieged her and gave her no other option. Souad was sure she was imprisoned behind the bars of her office being dead certain he would not interfere at all in her business and would not even give her his opinion on her running it.
Souad’s looks got lost and she lost control going astray feeling much pain not knowing how to apologize to Jassem for that silly situation when she hunted him by her questions to which he responded through answering her hurting her feelings when declaring explicitly he ignored such affairs.
Souad was so depressed and felt remorse; she looked at the sky trying to search for sleepless stars to count and spends the night with so she would be in their company while feeling overwhelmed by shame, surrounded by it. She sat absent-minded yearning for a sweet moment of serenity to restore love, purity, and passion to her relationship with Jassem.
Since that critical situation in which Jassem gave her no other chances, Souad confined herself to hr office and business; she became convinced of the necessity of running her business on her own. She kept running her business n her own office after learning to ask for banks’ help and facilitations to meet the needs of her growing business, classifying projects and their visibility study providing the needed capitals, not more or less than needed. She also dedicated all her time to work gaining self-confidence on dealing with others or competitors as she would not be rash and calculate gains and losses to meet the growing needs of business.
In that practical and financial framework, Souad kept on working and learn more and more till she knew many things pertinent to finishing hr works and she became aware of the secrets of that domain covering all its aspects.
One night, on the weekend, Jassem and Souad were sitting in those comfortable chairs in the vast living room filled with Jassem’s and the family’s photos on the walls or in golden and silver frames on all tables besides the vases of flowers scattered everywhere and those silky carpets artistically placed on the carpet of that relaxing color. On the tables there, there were a lot of China antiquities and embroidered silverware and valuable ivory ones that Souad like to collect and possess them searching for the priceless unique pieces.
In that charming night, they sat enjoying their being together in that dreamy atmosphere that the fainting lights added to it beauty a romantic touch and affection. While Ahmad was sleeping away in his room, Jassem produced a loud voice tat awakened Ahmad on hearing that voice he liked; Jassem just liked to play with his son and rose to bring him, yet Souad begged him to let him sleep saying, “Long sleep helps one grow taller So, let him sleep to become tall. Please, Jassem.” Jassem laughed loudly and happily: “Don’t worry, Souad! Sure, he will be as tall as his father, but just let me see him. You know, if I find him asleep, I won’t wake him up, but if I find him awake open-eyed playing by himself, I will bring him to lay with me.”
Souad laughed rejoicing as she was overwhelmed by happiness and said to Jassem teasing him, “Jassem, for God’s sake, don’t let him be naughty as though young. Just let him sleep, or do you want him to be the copy of his father in everything?!”
Jassem did not stop to answer her as he went into Ahmad’s room like a strongly-kicked ball; he stood looking at his beloved son who was completely asleep. At that moment, Laila called them from Kuwait and even before Souad saluted her or call Jassem to come to salute her, she learnt something that turned made her face wear a frown and her heart shake on hearing every single word uttered by Laila!
Souad listened to her feeling great disturbance manifested on her face and her heart brimmed with grief suffocating her feeling burdened with it; Jassem asked worriedly, “What’s up, Souad?! Something wrong?!”
Souad stared at him anguished agonizing as if bidding him farewell; she embraced him lovingly with grief in her eyes as if Jassem was not to be between her hands again. She said to him while her pleasure vanished feeling low moral, “You have to send a consolation telegram to the family in Kuwait!”
Chapter Nine
Sparkle of Time
Jassem looked at Souad with an inquisitive look and asked her in anxiety, “Who has passed away?” Souad looked back at him in grief and said, “It is Dalal’s husband. His military plane crashed during the training. May God have mercy on him. Poor Dalal, May God endow her with patience.
Being greatly affected by hearing such news, Jassem clap his hands and punched the air as if hitting someone. There was a certain expression on Jassem’s face which Souad had never seen before. “Oh my… poor Dalal… she is really poor… she is unlucky… truly she is unlucky!
Jassem sat on the chair yet his anxiety and nervousness were noticed from his movements and glances, and he said, “But what did Dalal do? Hadn’t Laila tell you that she went to her to pay her condolences? Didn’t she tell you any thing about her? Oh… she is poor… her baby girl is too young… O God… what is she going to do? Dalal knows nothing about real world… she could not take care of herself… somebody have to be beside her!”
Jassem kept on talking about Dalal unstoppably while being greatly moved, and in great pity. He couldn’t imagine that Dalal was going to face life all by her self because she is helpless! Provided that she became a widow with a child which became an orphan although she was still young!
Jassem turned to Souad and asked her in awe, “Huh, Souad! Do you think I should send her a telegraph? Or should I call her? No… tell you what… I think it is better to call her… because she might need anything!”
Without waiting for Souad’s reply, Jassem went to call Dalal to pay his condolences while being greatly moved by her state, “May God reward you for your patience Dalal… take good care of yourself… no… Dalal… no… please don’t cry… you’re not alone… no… no… please Dalal… I will always be there whenever you need anything just tell me… good bye.”
Jassem hung up the phone; meantime Souad put her hand on her heart as she sensed the seriousness of the conversation that took place between Jassem and Dalal. True he was merely paying his condolences yet Souad felt that Jassem’s concern would revive the old feelings! She felt that such compassion had to do with the past, present and the future as well.
Thousands of ideas attacked Souad’s mind and heart after Jassem hung up without giving the phone for Souad to talk with Dalal. She understood from this that deep inside Jassem he feared there would be a connection between the two women. Further, Souad doubted that Jassem still had special feelings for Dalal… very special ones!!
Souad took Jassem’s permission to call Dalal, so he approved and apologized for forgetting to give her the chance to talk with her in the first time.
After expressing sympathy to Dalal, Souad sympathized with herself especially after the recent situation that made her on the alert. Souad felt that despite of the sad condition Dalal was in, there was a thread bringing Dalal and Jassem together and moving them as well. It was a thread which neither Souad could pull nor could time sever.
It became obvious to Souad that Jassem’s concern with Dalal was long well-established not a normal or circumstantial one which has not been lessened even with the passage of time.
Souad started to feel that time has changed and that everything started to have a new meaning which is mysterious, frightful, and intending to affect the present as well as the future.
With the passage of time Souad tried not to think about or consider that matter so as not to mess up her life.
Later on, on a summer eve after the arrival of Laila who came to spend the summer holiday with Jassem and Souad, Dr. Naïf, Jassem’s Saudi friend was invited to dinner at their place.
Actually, their relationship was an intimate one. Naïf started his studies in the hospital which Jassem has been working in few months before his arrival. Meeting him their, Jassem offered his help to Naïf as he preceded him in that field for 8 years. In the meantime, Naïf felt that he had known a dear brother and close friend.
On that night, after dinner, Jassem and Naïf discussed various issues in the garden. They spoke about medicine, the hospital, their patients and doctors. This took place after Souad and Laila went to the living room while the latter was overwhelmed with happiness because she met Naïf.
While being unaware of the passage of time, Souad kept on watching the garden which beauty became more noticeable in that summer eve where the breeze started to move the leafs of trees gently. Meanwhile, Souad’s kids, Ahmad, Anwar, and Rakan were playing hide-and-seek among the trees of the garden.
Rakan who was less than two years old was trying to catch Ahmad and Anwar, but he kept on stumbling and failed to catch any of them. Meantime, Isabella, the nanny was trying to catch Rakan before falling down. He stood up in anger after his brother and sister ran away and left him.
Souad was watching her kids playing while being happy and satisfied with her life. Besides, she was looking at Laila while being contented for the love the latter had for Naïf who became her prince-charming since she saw him for the first time after he joined the hospital Jassem works in.
Since that time, Laila felt that her heart no more belongs to her as it was captured by Naïf. Whenever there was a chance for Laila and Naïf to meet, their meeting didn’t exceed moments during which each one of them traveled to the world of fantasies and had feelings which remained after they leave one another. Nevertheless, their feelings had to be noticed especially after they became so powerful that they were unable to be kept concealed.
This was how Laila felt towards Naïf. She spoke and exposed her feelings and dreams to Souad. She told her that she wished that handsome and successful man would be her husband one day. Hearing that Souad laughed and said, “If God so wills, I hope God would make all your dreams come true you deserve all goodness… Naïf is good and is a man of fine morals… you deserve a man like him… may God help you and gather both of you, if He so wills.”
The dialogue continued between Jassem and Naïf in the garden, whereas there was another one in the living room between Souad and Laila, which was about love and the merry days to come. Souad prayed sincerely that one day, Naïf would be Laila’s husband.
Souad recalled when Laila used to tell her about Jassem’s relationship with Dalal and how Laila used to blame her for being negative and for exerting no effort to change Jassem’s feelings towards her. Upon that, Souad started to laugh and said, “Now who would advise Laila? She used to advise me… but who would advice her?”
After some while, Jassem and Naïf excused to leave for they were going to meet other doctors who were expecting them in a restaurant near to Jassem’s house. Naïf left while lowering his gaze.
Souad and Laila remained speaking till it was the time for the kids to go to their beds, so Souad went to attend to that task and kiss them good night. After that she returned to Laila so as to speak about Naïf and the latter’s love for him till she went to sleep.
Souad remained awake watching TV alone waiting for Jassem’s return. She didn’t want him to come and find her asleep because he might need anything. After a while, Jassem returned home, took off his clothes, then he went to the kitchen and brought a bottle of water from the fridge and took it to the reception where he laid his body and drank from the bottle. He then turned to Souad and said enthusiastically with a smile, “Today we were talking about a serious issue!”
Souad asked pleasantly, “I hope it was a good one, Jassem?!”
He spoke with her with the same enthusiasm he spoke in with his colleagues, “Some doctors are considering establishing a new hospital for heart surgeries in America… the administration should be for Arabs so that the patient would need no translator or accompanier… the hospital should be built in the best academic level this is regarding the doctors, equipments, devices, and preparations. Everything should be in the best form so as not to be less than any American hospital. But imagine, Souad, after making some primary calculations we found out that we need 5 millions as a start.”
Souad seemed to like the idea, so she said in enthusiasm similar to the one Jassem spoke in, “The idea is magnificent, the outcome is 100% guaranteed, so why don’t you do it on your own? There is no need to have that big number of partners… this project shall be a success. Besides, in my office there is feasibility study similar to the hospital’s project… and as I told you success is 100% guaranteed and there is no risk, so why don’t you do it your self?”
Jassem smiled and said, “As I told you, Souad, this project needs millions of dollars. We need at least 5 million dollars to equip the hospital.”
Being drifted with enthusiasm, Souad said, “Great, there is no problem, you can do it alone Jassem. The idea is terrific and the project’s success is guaranteed. There shall be no risk whatsoever. Consider that the 5 millions are with you from now on.”
Jassem was astounded… he looked at her in great astonishment! He gazed his eyes towards Souad although they were aimless. He asked her in amazement for not believing she owned that sum of money, “What are you saying Souad… five million dollars?! Huh… from where did you get that money? Did your father send you money without my knowledge?”
Souad looked at him while being startled from Jassem’s amazement and said unwaveringly, “No, you know everything, Jassem. You are aware that I have been working in real estates long time ago. Also, you know that my company is successful and that I have liquid money not to mention other properties.”
Jassem remained speechless, and he uttered no word. He didn’t expect that years have passed away that quickly. Besides, he didn’t expect that Souad would achieve that success in the world of trade and business. This was a surprise for Jassem. A real surprise! That was because Jassem never knew what Souad was doing, managing or working in.
All what Jassem was thinking about, was to make Souad occupy herself in her work. He wanted her to spend her time managing her company so as not to feel bored for being the wife of a doctor who is busy all day and night. Jassem’s work ended before midnight and started before dawn. Furthermore, he spent his time in the hospital either in studying, working, or attending to his patients and colleagues. This was typical for a doctor studying for fellowship and that was the kind of life Jassem led.
Actually, Jassem almost had no time for his wife and family. Meantime, Souad was satisfied with her life and she never complained. She liked her life and work. Further, she was proud of her husband. She never complained from being lonely or from boredom, instead, Souad always received her husband with a soft smile that came from a loving heart.
Meanwhile, Jassem was dedicated to his studies and work as a doctor. He always thought of succeeding in his studies, mastering his job, and continues achieving success.
All these years passed by till came the moment when Jassem discovered that Souad achieved that success. In fact, Jassem didn’t expect that Souad would make that fortune. That whole matter was a real surprise for him.
Souad stared at Jassem whom she thought was happy with that unexpected surprise. She thought that he was silent for calculating the money he needed to execute that project on his own without the help of the other doctors because now he had the money he wanted, time, knowledge and experience.
Souad asked, “Huh, Jassem! When shall we start the hospital’s project? The idea is awesome. It shall succeed if God so wills. I am sure it is going to succeed.”
Jassem shook his head while feeling that there was an inner fire that was burning inside his body. That fire kept on calming down then increasing once again. He shook his head, and then looked at Souad. True he was looking at Souad, but his eyes were seeing the events of the past 8 years and those to come. Gradually, Jassem started to come to his senses, and then he said with a voice that came out of a man who was offended and who felt insulted, “God is gracious, God is gracious. Everything is going to be fine, it will be fine.”
Souad got astonished from Jassem’s reaction which she didn’t expect. Rather, she expected to see a different reaction which was full of enthusiasm and zeal. She thought that he would praise her for the success she achieved. Jassem’s reserved reaction got on Souad’s feelings!! She expected he would be happy and would encourage her more.
However, Souad dealt with the matter more wisely; she didn’t aggravate the situation, rather she left things go on smoothly. She persuaded herself that Jassem needed more time to study the new project, its requirements and all other minute details.
Days passed by with the same monotonous rhythm and the same responsibilities. Children are at school, Jassem is occupied in work by day and night, whereas Souad is totally busy in managing her company. Her work flourished to the extent that she needed number of employees to run the work, an attorney and his assistant to manage the company’s legal affairs, and a secretary and his assistant. This is in addition to having her private office.
Souad’s work was growing and achieving success. Souad had firm belief in her abilities and she was self-confident. Besides, she had unshakable belief that she is able to succeed in the field which was chosen by her father and grand-father.
One night while Souad was sleeping in her bed and Jassem sitting on the couch in the living room as he used to do lately, the phone rang, so Souad picked up the phone and to her amazement she heard Jassem talking with Dalal. It was a hideous surprise. In great astonishment, Souad thought, “Jassem talks with Dalal! Why?! What’s up? What’s the reason? Is there another claim for Dalal?”
Hearing her voice, Souad hung up the phone as if she got burnt. Anyway, Jassem’s voice was obviously heard that Souad deduced that there were previous calls between Dalal and Jassem. These calls Souad knew nothing about and Jassem never mentioned.
Souad got amazed from Jassem’s new attitude with Dalal. Jassem told Dalal that he had checked with the health office in New York and knew that her grand-mother’s report arrived 10 days ago. He added that they were going to receive the answer as soon as the results come from the hospital. Jassem said supportively, “But you should give them some time Dalal. Don’t worry, I am observing everything myself. Don’t worry, don’t panic. Send my regards to your mother and grand-mother. Don’t forget to kiss Danna for me.”
Souad tried to control herself but she felt greatly worried especially when she noticed that Jassem became so interested that he sent his regards and kisses to Dalal’s daughter, Danna. Souad breathed heavily and wondered, “Why didn’t Jassem marry Dalal till now? And why didn’t Dalal re-marry although her husband passed away 5 years ago? Why didn’t she get married? Why didn’t she get married?”
That question remained with no answer! Nevertheless, Souad spoke with Jassem about the illness of Dalal’s grand-mother. Jassem answered while being greatly affected by the state of Dalal, and said in great compassion, “Poor Dalal, she has no body to help her. Her grand-mother is sick and her mother doesn’t know how to deal with such matters. Besides, her daughter is an orphan who needs special care. Meantime, Dalal doesn’t know what to do or who to ask for help. She has no body beside her; she doesn’t have a man to support her.”
Souad kept watching Jassem while talking about Dalal who seemed to be talking to himself after switching his eyes from Souad. He seemed as if talking while seeing a certain picture that was buried inside him long time ago. His gazes were purposeless and he seemed to recall the memories that were long instilled in the heart. These memories were like the bomb that was about to be initiated to explode and destroy other innocent hearts.
Chapter Ten
A Startled Smile
Souad sat looking at Jassem who seemed to be absent minded as if his thoughts were in Kuwait. They were in the country which witnessed his relationship with Dalal. He sighed in great sympathy with Dalal and said suddenly, “Poor Dalal, this is too much for her.”
Souad felt troubled because of Jassem’s concern and excessive feelings towards Dalal. She sensed that this had to do with their former relationship and the great love Dalal had for Jassem.
Souad’s heart was on the alert due to the great danger that was threatening her. She felt that all her doubts and fears are about to come true. Besides, she was worried because since the death of Dalal’s husband she turned down all marriage proposals. Souad knew that Dalal’s first marriage was merely to spite Jassem and to better her image in front of other people. Nevertheless, now she started to refuse all marriage proposals.
Souad sighed and wondered, “Is she waiting for Jassem to marry her?! Does this mean that she love Jassem?”
Souad’s heart was filled with fear and worry this time, because Jassem’s concern didn’t decrease, nor did it end despite of all these years! She thought about the memories Jassem had for their old days. In addition, she thought that Dalal still had the same feelings towards Jassem, and that her love for him will never fade away.
Souad looked at the phone which was the means of communication between Jassem and Dalal. It was the means through which Dalal’s voice reached Jassem’s heart which was once in love with her. This was a tangible fact. Souad thought that Dalal must have been encouraged to show her feelings towards Jassem once more; she must have sensed something from Jassem’s side or else she wouldn’t remain talking with him. Souad thought that Jassem must have encouraged Dalal to remain in love with him.
Souad tried to change the whole subject by talking about the project Jassem intended to do. She talked about the last surgery he made and his studies which took 9 years from his life in order to be in that position.
Souad tried to open a discussion and she said nervously, “Yea… years have passed, Jassem. Do you believe how many years have passed? I feel that we’ve just arrived to America, although many years have passed! It is like a dream.”
Souad continued talking as if she was trying to make him forget, “Do you believe it Jassem? I don’t believe that you have been here in America for 8 years. You arrived here on 1981, so you’ve been here for 8 years. Who could believe it? It is unbelievable that I have been here for 7 years. Days pass so fast… I hope they will all be fine.”
Souad kept on trying opening discussions with Jassem and tried to recall their special moments yet he didn’t share her in discussion! She felt she was talking to herself! But she tried to hold herself! She stared at Jassem as if trying to know what he was thinking of. She tried to feel at ease by entering into small discussions but Jassem had short comments. Therefore, silence prevailed most of the time.
Jassem only replied in short words; he seemed more interested in being quiet and silent. The tone of his voice changed; it no longer indicated the love he had for Souad, besides, he lost concern of spending the time with her. However, Souad started to notice such changes and she felt that Dalal’s return to Jassem’s life replaced the light that illuminated their life with complete darkness.
True… there is no avail. Jassem seemed to be more attracted to Dalal and he talked about her with great passion, whereas with Souad he barely talked to the extent that she got the feeling that she is forcing him to talk. He seemed to speak with her with difficulty, as if not interested in hearing any voice but Dalal’s. Jassem seemed to be waiting for certain words which he likes to hear and which rang the bell of ancient memories.
Souad got distressed that she couldn’t stand being humiliated any more, therefore, like a breeze that was carried away with severe wind she went to her bed room. She moved while her eyes were gazing towards nowhere, she was as if looking at the future which seemed to be indistinguishable, mysterious, and unclear. Souad moved while having thousands of ideas in her mind, she feared that the surgery which Dalal’s grand-mother needed was merely one of her schemes. She doubted that this was merely a reason to talk with Jassem and be more close to him.
Souad thought, “I expect Dalal could do anything… nothing is impossible for her. Dalal is too daring, and powerful. She knows well what she wants and how to get it.”
Souad felt dizziness out of the heaviness that attacked her heart and made her find difficulty in breathing. Thus, she remained awake moving in her bed unable to fall asleep because she didn’t feel sleepy. Souad couldn’t tolerate the hurt she felt when she noticed that Jassem was unconscious because of recalling his memories with Dalal.
Souad couldn’t stand being that humiliated which she couldn’t do anything about. She couldn’t tolerate such despair which she sensed while trying to stir Jassem to talk with her. This was the thing which she couldn’t take or even accept.
Accordingly, Souad remained awake in the bed unable to sleep and Jassem likewise couldn’t sleep too. He remained awake watching the magnificence movement of the moon between clouds as if he was seeing this scene for the first time in his life.
Jassem turned off the lights of the Chinese side lamp which was placed on a table made of dark Indian wood with hand-made frets taking the shape of vines and grapes. On that moment, Jassem wished if he could travel instantly to the East where warmth, magic, art, prettiness, and indulgence.
Jassem remained laying down on the couch in the living-room. He remained staring at the sky. He stayed in his place without moving while having a sense of monotonous from his life and a wish to leave that harsh place, yet he couldn’t do so for being unable to move or even getting up.
The night passed so slow for both couples, Jassem and Souad. After around two hours Jassem got up, changed his clothes then he went to the hospital on a hurry because he was going to attend to the medical reports concerning Dalal’s grand-mother.
Days passed by without any new or good news. Days were meaningless and insignificant. Each day was like the one before it, in the sense that there was nothing remarkable. Time passed without a mentionable event, everything was tasteless, senseless, and monotonous.
Furthermore, Souad couldn’t help feeling bored, hurt, and greatly affected due to the appearance of Dalal in Jassem’s life. Souad was aware that the new changes that took over Jassem’s life were owing to Dalal’s appearance and continuous calls. What could she do? How could she set things right? How could she bring Jassem back to her? How could she get rid of Dalal?
Souad was restless due to the current situation while Jassem was ineffective towards his wife. There seemed to be an ice barrier between the two loving couples. Souad felt sorry foe herself, she needed somebody to complain to but she didn’t know to whom she could complain Jassem’s trials to avoid her. She hated his silence and drifting apart from her, she felt that this was going to ruin her mind. What could she do? What could she say?
The situation was more and more aggravated; meantime, Dalal was approaching Jassem in a short time. The enemy was about to succeed in his mission, therefore, there had to be a plan for self-defense. Souad thought that she should defend herself; she should attack because it was the best policy for defense. She thought that there should be an instant and powerful situation.
Souad waited awake for Jassem’s return from the hospital, she didn’t care much if it was too late, and all she cared about was meeting Jassem and talking with him. Once he arrived home, Souad received him with a tender smile and she talked to him in great passion. She read a card she was holding in her hands and said, “Jassem! Golden Fields Company for real-estate investments sent us an invitation for a reception in Astoria hotel in New York. This will be on Friday, 18August 1989, that’s three weeks from now. I wish we could go together, Jassem!”
Nonetheless, Jassem refused to go; he turned down Souad’s request. Besides, he seemed uninterested, but Souad tried to persuade him to go with her. She was extremely happy because the reception was in the same hotel they spent their honey moon in. Hence, she thought that it was going to be a wonderful idea to spend the week end in the same hotel that witnessed the beginning of their life together. Souad kept on trying to make Jassem approve, she said in great passion, “For God’s sake, Jassem, don’t turn me down. We haven’t been there since a long time ago. Let’s spend some time in Manhattan. I feel that both of us need such holiday, please, accept it, Jassem.”
Souad kept on insisting especially for she knew Jassem could arrange it in his schedule because it was in the weekend. Finally after his approval, Souad felt happy because it was a good chance for both of them to spend some time together where they could remember their honeymoon which they spent in New York. As for the kids, Souad made an amusing program for them which their nanny would follow besides taking care of them.
Souad felt happy and at ease, she said, “Ah… I wish those good old days would come back… I wish we could enjoy them once more.”
However, again Jassem tried to excuse for not going. But Souad didn’t accept any excuse especially because she knew that Jassem needed to rest after the effort he exerted in his work. Thus, she assured him that he needed to rest as a sort of stimulation because the final exams were due.
Eventually, Jassem accepted. They took the flight which didn’t exceed half an hour. They reached the big sweet in the hotel, changed their clothes, and then went out for a tour in New York.
The weather was splendid, the sun was shinning and streets were crowded with people and tourists especially around ice-cream, pop-corn, fast-food, restaurants, and cafés. There were teenagers from all over the world wearing T-shirts and jeans. The rhythm of life in New York was fast lively and boisterous.
Souad was overwhelmed with joy due to the happiness she observed in Jassem. She went back 7 years ago when she first came to New York when her sole dream was to see Jassem and be close to him. But now after the passage of 7 years he became her husband and the father of her 3 kids; Ahmad, Anwar and Rakan.
“All thanks are due to God, all thanks are due to Him. May God keep Jassem safe, may He make him live long?”
Souad was almost flying while walking beside Jassem out of the extreme happiness and joy she felt. Jassem was the man of her dreams and she couldn’t conceal her great love for him. Souad forgot everything except her husband whom she was longing for because he was away from her lately due to being occupied in his work.
Souad enjoyed the moments she spent with Jassem and she wished that time would stop. Amidst all such feelings, Jassem looked at his watch then notified Souad that it was time to return back to the hotel because there was only an hour remaining for the big celebration. Upon that, Souad discovered that time passed very fast, so they returned to the hotel, took their shower and dressed for the reception.
Souad’s beauty was greatly manifested due to her elegant dress. She wore a long black crepe dress, the sleeves were long and tight and the waist was too tight. The opening of the neck was round and wide that the necklace Souad wore which was made of diamond and aqiq added to the prettiness of her neck. Meantime, there was a great similarity between the redness of the stones of the necklace and Souad’s plump lips which were as pretty as the aqiq[14].
Jassem was done with tying his silk gorgeous tie which dark red color was symmetrical with that of the vest with the drawings of the scarlet roses; there was a black background for some of those roses which were similar to the blackness of the suit. Besides the chemise was made out of white silk and its color reflected the darkness of Jassem’s Eastern countenance.
Jassem and Souad stepped into the reception. Jassem looked handsome with his giant body building and broad shoulders. Jassem’s thick hair and black heavy moustache showed how manly he was, the thing which was as obvious as Souad’s beauty and attractiveness. She was very pretty and attractive.
They approached the big hall, by the huge entrance, the company’s manager stood to receive Jassem and his wife. The manager introduced them to his wife as, “Mr. and Mrs. Salem!”
Souad smiled and with great embarrassment told the manager that her husband’s family name was Mr. Al-Nasser and not Salem. Besides, she clarified to the manager that according to the Arab traditions a woman keeps her family name and not her husbands’. Hence, the manager apologized to Jassem and invited them in.
When Souad entered the great hall, all the views were concentrated on her for being one of the biggest business women in the field of real estate. Furthermore, she attracted people’s attention due to her young age as compared to other old business men, besides, she was very pretty, attractive and well-dressed. Lights were focused on Souad’s face and gorgeous body while she was moving. Souad was surrounded by all the means enabling her to delve into modern life with smartness and neatness.
According to the American practice in such occasions Souad didn’t join one group of people; rather she was moving from one group to the other. Also, men and women from other groups came to greet Souad and converse with her. She talked with them about specialist commercial and economical matters, the fields which Jassem ignored and didn’t care to know due to being interested in studying medicine to get fellowship in heart surgery.
Jassem stood with a smile on his face although he was bored and fed up from the unexciting atmosphere. Besides, he felt uninterested out of hearing the same conversation which he knew nothing about. Jassem stared at the lights which seemed as if dimly lit. He watched in boredom the great number of people who were in the hall and felt as if he was kept locked in a small bottle buried underground because he couldn’t breathe nor feel there was a human existing.
In that dark moment, Jassem imagined the flash of other kind of lights that lit the stadium while he was running with the football going towards the goal and he managed to score a goal. Hence, people yelled and the flash of the cameras lit the stadium.
Meantime, Jassem recalled another incident, he recalled the moments when he used to hear people yelling and applauding from up the stages. Besides, they held slogans and sang whenever a goal was scored. When the match was over, people started to hail with Jassem’s name that reached space.
Upon that point, Jassem’s smile became wider, but coming back to reality, he frowned while surveying the surrounding and he thought, “Ah… oh God! What do you have to do with such people and their field, O Jassem? What do you have to do with this dim party? What are you doing to yourself, O Jassem? What made you come here? What brought you here? This is not where you belong, Jassem! This is not your place. Come on, move it captain, and get out. It is over, the match came to an end, and it is over, over.”
On that moment, there was a struggle inside Jassem thus he remained silent all the time. He tried very hard to hold on, he did his best to pass the hard situation Souad put him in. it happened more than once that they were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Salem and Souad tried disparately to correct the people’s wrong which made Jassem very embarrassed.
After a short time Souad felt bored and that she had to leave the party especially because she knew how sensitive Jassem is and how his self-confidence is and how he honors his family. Again, Souad felt dazzled and mortified because she didn’t know how to handle that situation. She didn’t know what to do to get out of that fix which she got in. Anyway, all what Souad knew was to leave the party as soon as possible.
Souad went without making Jassem noticing her to the business man who threw the party to apologize for him that she should leave because she was very tired. So in a very low voice she excused and made a promise she should call. Then, Souad went to Jassem and expressed to him that she should leave the party due to the headache that attacked her, hence, Jassem approved silently and with a feeble smile.
When their eyes met, Souad observed Jassem’s blame and anger. Nevertheless, Jassem tried not to show his feelings and his annoyance because of Souad’s insistence that he should attend the party along with her although it wasn’t the right place for him.
He rushed to the exit door while sensing great anger, yet his anger was void of hate. Souad wished she could take Jassem between her arms and kiss him but she couldn’t dare to do so because Jassem passed the long corridor in silence, he didn’t utter a single word.
They passed the corridor in complete silence, and Souad was confused, embarrassed and she sensed how much she was in need for Jassem. Meantime, Jassem walked in silence which showed how his pride was wounded. He seemed as if searching for his being which he felt due to his rejection to be in a position which was not fit for him.
Chapter 11
Suffering in Absence
Many days have passed since Jassem’s and Souad’s return from the special reception party held by the Golden Fields’ company but Jassem has not been himself yet. He remained frowning, gloomy, speaking a little, moving a little, as if he was not present and as if he was not there at all. It was as if the real Jassem vanished in the air leaving nothing but his ghost or his shadow that was rather moving instead of him; it was going to and fro in silently, quietly and speechlessly!!
Once upon a night, Jassem told Souad without any previous remarks or notice that he was about to head for Kuwait to attend a medical conference that was to be held there very soon. After a short while, Jassem left for Kuwait to attend that regional medical conference for which Kuwait was chosen as the host country. Dr. Jassem was one of the best specialized Kuwaiti doctors who participated in that conference and who spared no effort to make it fruitful.
Indeed, many events were revealed there in Kuwait proving that Jassem Al-Nasser, who was a famous star in the world of soccer having those great feelings of seeking victory and who used to be proud after any success of his, was also featuring as a brightening star in the world of medicine and surgery. Here he goes going on with his scientific and practical career achieving unparalleled success in that field until he became of an undying fame as a successful young Kuwaiti doctor who became a Fellow of American Heart Surgeons.
Doctor Jassem Al-Nasser became in the spot light of the means of media whether the radio, the press, or the television, thus, he was shown lecturing students at the faculty of medicine; he was explaining and elaborating on the new medical theory in the field of hearts’ surgery. Jassem started to write regular columns in a number of specialized scientific magazines.
Jassem received a lot of attention from people in Kuwait, and he divided his time between writing in papers, participating in symposiums, conferences, giving lectures, and the soccer players who launched a media campaign about captain Jassem Al-Nasser, the former captain of the national team, and the doctor of hearts’ surgery; this made Jassem feel he was great, take pride in himself, feel distinguished, and self-important.
Indeed, after finishing his study and after having the certificate of fellowship in hearts’ surgery, Jassem became one of the most famous specialist doctors in Kuwait. This was why the hospitals in Kuwait started to contact him and invite him to do similar heart operations after he had proved that he was skilled in that field.
Before finishing his visit to Kuwait, Jassem examined Dalal’s grandmother, and he really examined her carefully. He showed that she needed to make some diagnoses and that she should be X-rayed so that he would decide if her case needed an operation or not. Thereupon, Dalal thanked Jassem from the bottom of her heart in a way showing that she owed him a lot due to his nice stance and because of his care for her grandmother. She expressed her gratitude for his stance with her in a way that showed that she could not hide her feelings and that she could not hide her flowing emotions towards him; it was manifest in everything that she was still in love with Jassem. She was still phoning him and she could hardly stop herself, so, she was chasing him in whatever place he would be as she used to do before.
Dalal wiped her tears and forgot about her sorrows, then got up to wear such exciting, daring clothes as usual, wearing such a nice perfume and she looked very mature of a special look as she had all the qualifications of charm and beauty that can impress others easily specially after her figure had become well-rounded specially after her pregnancy and after delivery; her sexy bumpy figure was shown in the clearest way ever. Anyway, Dalal went on to meet Jassem in Mubarak Al-Kabeer Hospital in Al-Jabiryah and she was walking deliberately in very daring steps for she hates to feel depressed, gloomy, sad, and frustrated specially after remembering how she was overwhelmed with grief when she fell on earth on knowing the news of Jassem and Souad’s marriage.
Dalal remembers how grave the shock was for her and how shocking the news of his marriage was and how she expressed the feelings of shock and surprise, thus she was totally destroyed. She remembers how she was eaten up with grief screaming unbelieving that Jassem whom she considered to be the most important man in the world became the least important one. She remembers how she was rolling in the dust weeping and crying bitterly.
It was out of her hand that she remembered how she felt so small, insignificant and imperfect when she was forced to be away from Jassem. She remembers how she was trying to strike a balance but it was out of her hand that she could not, as she would hit the earth hard.
Dalal knocked the closed door with the tips of her fingers, so, she heard the voice of the nurse asking her to wait for a while but as usual, Dalal was impatient, thus, she got hold of the handle, opened the door and forced her way into the room and through that room she headed for another side room next to it where she saw Jassem sitting on the desk, totally absorbed in reading some papers, hence, he could not feel that she was there, however. Dalal stood in silence, but her eyes were speaking a great deal; as if her eyes were dancing overwhelmed with joy, running longing for him, looking at him, hugging him, kissing every part of his body, and as if her soul was hovering over him and drawing closer to him. – “Oh, Jassem is front of my very eyes at that moment. I cannot believe it.”
Suddenly, Jassem felt she was there, as if the arrows of her looks had penetrated him, so, he stood welcoming her, pleased and impressed by her coming. She draw nearer to him, looked into his very eyes, shook hands with him, took hold of his hand holding it tight as if she was fearing that he would go away, meanwhile, she was resisting a burning desire of hers to hug him, cry while lying on his chest and tell him about her love for him and about her feelings.
Jassem pulled his hand away in a very smooth way then he offered her a chair while smiling at her and he, then, started to talk about her grandmother’s illness, and elaborate on her health conditions after reading her medical file in front of him at the moment. He reassured her that there was no fear about her grandmother assuring her that the case was not that dangerous.
Dalal sat cross-legged and she started to cast the spells of her charm on Jassem showing a great deal of affection that was not blunted by Jassem’s indifference. Her eyes were still looking for his trying to convey her emotions to him with the same brightening looks that set the fire of her love in his heart years ago, but this love was covered by ashes, so, would that love be reincarnated with that new meeting? Dalal draw nearer to Jassem and whispered, “I really missed you Jassem. I really did.”
But Jassem ignored what her looks indicated on purpose as well as her words, and then he started to elaborate on her grandmother’s case, and did not pay attention to the signs of love and affection she was showing. This was because she was only a woman from his past and she was a memory of a love affair that ceased to be. Then he got married and was satisfied with his quiet family life, thus, he was resisting Dalal’s emotions and was just talking about the medical report in brief, “Listen Dalal, I am going to undertake your grandmother’s operation at the right time, and there is no need to be afraid, believe me.”
Dalal wanted to make the meeting last longer; she was still dreaming of the promising love forever and was thinking of fulfilling the past’s wishes in the present. At that time, she was trying every possible means that would help win that round with Jassem. She would not care if the dream of Souad’s future was not realized, rather, she longed to revenge for she knew that Souad planned to take Jassem away from her and she was assisted by Laila then. Thus, she only cared about the one who’d win the final round.
Dalal kept on talking, trying hard to convince Jassem that it was a must that he should undertake the operation in Kuwait, but he insisted on his opinion, asking her to wait until the results of the diagnoses and the X-rays would appear and asking her to keep him posted so that he would follow up with the case and know its medical conditions after the conference and his return to the U.S. “Yah, back to the U.S.”, Dalal sighed in sadness and sorrow talking to herself while still looking at him with her eyes that brimmed with a great deal of affection. “You have just started talking about traveling since this moment Jassem”, she said.
Suddenly, Dalal felt that the situation was so hard for her that she could not bear it, so, she shrank like a hedgehog that would shrink then come back to its former state; she gathered her weapons all and was ready to engage in that battle after she had been provoked, after she had felt that her dignity was being hurt as well as her pride and after Jassem had ignored her feelings and rejected them as he was rejecting her wishes but she would not be satisfied but with his acceptance. Dalal did not understand the situation of a responsible married man like Jassem’s, rather; she’d think he hurt her as a woman and that he offended her, too. “Were it another one but you who said these words, I would tear him to pieces, but you do not know the effect of you talk on my heart, Jassem “, she whispered to herself.
Dalal was absorbed in her thoughts and her heart was beating so hard as she was affected by her flowing love emotions that were still running deep, deep inside her; such feelings moved her and moved her feelings, thus, she turned to Jassem smiling and begged him in a very weak tone with her begging looks of her beautiful, charming eyes that brimmed with the feelings of love sending them flowingly to Jassem’s heart, thus, he would be moved and he could no more resist her and reject her feelings after seeing the weak begging face of hers when he heard her saying, “Please, Jassem. Come to see my grandmother. She is sick now, she is in pain and we cannot take her to the hospital and bring her back in the same day. She would suffer and she can bear that no more. Please, Jassem. Come to examine her at home.”
Hence, Jassem had no choice but to agree. Frankly, he didn’t hesitate to go with her at once and he was overwhelmed with a feeling of pitying her that reached flowed into his heart. This was because he knew her harsh circumstances and he knew that she used to face many hardships and experience many ordeals in her life, and this was why he said in satisfaction, “It is O.K. but let’s go now, for I do not have but one free hour, Dalal.”
Jassem went out of the hospital and he got in Dalal’s car that headed very fast to her house but this was at the same moment when Laila came to urge Jassem to come with her to have lunch at her house after she had failed to reach him at the phone.
Laila saw Dalal and Jassem in Dalal’s car, so, she was greatly astonished and was steaming with anger and was very displeased with this devil who cared for nothing in this world but herself, thus, without thinking about that, Laila drove right after them, following them from afar, and talking to herself about the involvement of Jassem with Dalal favoring Dalal to her, “Now you have enough time for an outing with Dalal, Jassem, while I, Laila, your sister, have always been asking you to have lunch with me at home and you’d say you were busy and that you could not.”
In fact, Jassem was really very busy, and he had many concerns and appointments; he had symposiums to participate in, conferences to attend, and lectures to give. However, Laila did not believe him and felt he was still preferring Dalal to her and her parents, thus, she grow mad and angry about that and started telling herself, “Now I understood everything, everything is revealed now. This devil does not give up; she is trying to make Jassem fall in love with her and she won’t leave him alone and won’t make him care about his wife or his children.”
Laila remained talking to herself while steaming with anger and being mad at Dalal then she wondered in astonishment, “What does she want from Jassem now? Why try to drive him to fall in love with her again after he had married and became a father of three? What does she want? Does she want be his second wife to hurt Souad and make her sad?”
Laila’s heart was not at ease as she was angry harboring feelings of hatred, dislike, and anger towards Dalal; such feelings were mixed inside her, so, she would be steaming deep inside and her emotions would be confused, and her thoughts would be confused, too, thus, she would be shaken, as, in fact, she didn’t expect that Jassem would surrender that easy to Dalal and that he would fulfill her desire that quickly, surrendering by that to her will. Laila did not imagine that Jassem would ride the car with her, so, she told herself, “Thank god, I could not reach him on the phone; I was impatient with all those meetings, so, I came here and saw that with my own eyes. God willed that I would see them to discover the matter and interfere at the right time.”
Laila’s doubts were assured when she saw from afar Dalal’s car parking before her mother’s house, so, she knew Jassem was inside there, thus, she was obsessed with feelings of dislike, rejection and dislike.
She drove her car fast on her way back to her home while she was steaming with anger, cursing, and swearing at this reckless devil that do not stop playing tricks or never give up. Then she took the phone, while she was at the peak of her anger and while she could no longer have control over herself, to call Souad to tell her about what she saw and to tell her about Jassem’s whereabouts at that moment.
Chapter Twelve
Farewell & Stubbornness
Dalal sat wearing a happy smile feeling somehow triumphant, for Jassem accepted her invitation to check on her mother. Actually, she felt as if she made a great achievement by making him come to examine her grandmother. She kept looking at him most eagerly while he was sitting in the reception room. She noticed some white hairs in his thick hair. She also noticed he was heavier and bigger than before; his manliness was quite evident. Jassem was no more that rash young man; he has become a mature man, but no, he is not the same Jassem she knew before! Something has changed in him! He became different! The brightness of his eyes disappeared. At the same time, she noticed his weird looks into nothingness. She felt he was sort of a broken man!
She approached him wearing a wide bright smile on her face trying to embody her memories of the old days through her words; Jassem was aware of that and he ignored such a crystal-clear attempt to remind him of the past. He talked to her about medicine and surgery. He asked her more about her sick grandmother’s case, how she felt, what she ate, how she slept and when, and etc…!
In fact, Dalal has always felt ecstatic and rejoiced at the presence of Jassem. Moreover, she has always felt safe in his presence; she would be safe from loneliness, life and from that harsh world around her. Staying by Jassem, she would feel protected from her own fears that she would feel supported by him and thus, she would not be able to control her movements or hide her goals. She would approach him using her female touch and her charming unmatched beauty to capture his heart; that beauty that would make man feel as if a big child! In fact, Dalal has always been aiming at capturing Jassem’s heart that she wished he would be her child’s father; she would love that and be proud of it. She wishes that that child would lead a happy life between his lover parents. Yes. She has always been seeking to feel stable and safe as well as respected. She has been looking forward to a high social status that can be attained through marrying Jassem. Thus, she would feel at ease to express her delight on being with him, staying by his side; she would be in no need to select her words, for she would express all her feelings hiding nothing at all.
Sometimes, she would act in a rash manner and that would make Jassem more attracted to her, pity her more, and rejoice at her presence much more. Indeed, Dalal would dread the future, and be anxious about the present, her past misery and misfortunes that she could not feel calm or peace of mind; she would not have any feeling of safety after being cheated by Jassem. She would feel he is a promising man while she is a woman who had a past experience. Thus, she would feel agonized by that fact.
She has been weeping since that unpleasant moment, for she would not feel happy in her life as she could not predict her future that she paints a black picture of it. She could love none but Jassem! She has been overwhelmed by that very idea that would agitate her that she had a strong belief that she could not be emotionally attached to anyone but Jassem!
Actually, though her being so romantic, rash, caring too much about emotions and constantly nervous that sometimes, she would get indulged in excessive emotions and be extremely vivacious, she really loved Jassem from the bottom of her heart.
Sometimes, she would not be able to run her own life that she would be too passive most of the time. Therefore, her mother played a pivotal role in running her life that she has been the one to give opinions and take decisions. That is why Dalal was so much emotionally attached to her. She undoubtedly loved her as much as she loved her grandmother that she would pray to God to make her recover.
Both her mother and grandmother have been praying to God all day and night to make Dalal have the kind of husband who would make her lead a happy life, take care of her and make her feel safe that he would protect her and her little lovely daughter, Dana. Dalal’s mother and grandmother have been always wondering about the large number of people surrounding Dalal who admired her as she captured heir hearts by her charms and beauty. They would even wonder much more about the numerous suitors who would propose to marry her whom she would turn down one by one.
Once, her mother who was about losing her mind screamed at her in a fit of anger, “Forget that Jassem, Dalal. Forget that hateful man who ruined your life and made you abandon all but him. Till when will you keep waiting for him, Dalal? Till when? Till you get aged and lose your youth? Will you keep waiting for him?! Do you think Jassem will abandon his wife and kids for your sake and marry you?! No, wake up, Dalal; you have to care for yourself, for time passes and years pass by quickly without one’s noticing that. You will get older while awaiting Jassem.
That conversation would is repeated whenever a man would propose to marry her that the mother and the daughter would get engaged in that hurly-burly conflict. Such a conversation between Dalal and her grandmother would continue; they would try to convince Dalal of the importance of getting married, but after the problem would escalate and Dalal would keep refusing getting married, they would realize that Dalal was awaiting Jassem’s return though they would be quite sure he would never come back!
Her grandmother in particular was so pessimistic that she was sure Jassem would not return leaving his wife and kids behind, and bringing about the collapse of his family for the sake of Dalal. The grandmother would always say, “Had Jassem wanted to marry you, Dalal, he would have done so a long time ago that you were supposed to have had a dozen of children by now. Come on, Dalal, wake up and take care of yourself. Come on.”
So many times, Dalal would not care even to reply to her that she would keep silent; she would keep silent and crying, for indeed, she was quite aware that they pitied her. She also was aware that she was trying emotional blackmail to them to make them sympathize with her through her weakness, submissiveness, despair and grief. Thus, she did not want to make them feel guilty any more or feel negligent if they stopped advising her. She would remain silent; just silent. She would constantly and unconsciously get indulged in rapturous feelings of love for Jassem and at the same time, she would be constantly grieving over his being away from her that she would keep waiting for his return ceaselessly hoping all the time that he would come back.
Dalal would give Jassem an attentive look trying to examine his features in which maturity and manliness are manifest indicating extreme nobility and shown by his strong building. Then, she would rise and disappear inside one of the rooms and then, return holding a beautiful little box, and give it to him giving him a look examining his features again. She would look at him again and again most eagerly with concentration driven by hidden and concealed desire while saying, “Happy birthday! I wish you a long happy life.”
Feeling so much touched by her remark, Jassem wondered, “You still remember my birthday?!”
Dalal would turn towards him and approach him, and signs of love, eagerness and fondness were clearly shown on her face. She would say in a deep confident voice, “I have never forgotten you, Jassem. I have never forgotten a single moment I spent with you. I have never forgotten anything belonging to you. How come I forget your birthday?!
She would heavily sigh, “Oh, you do not know what you are to me? You do not know how dear you are to me!”
She would then get indulged in fantasies of past memories feeling overwhelmed by sweet nostalgia. She would wear a sad smile whispering so that Jassem could hardly hear her words, “Oh, do you remember the old lovely days, Jassem? Do you think you can get them back? They will never come back.”
She would keep looking at him that he became thirty four though she felt he was much older than that, for he looked older than he really was. She would look at him again dreading an expected breakup and farewell, for he was due to leave within a few hours; it was Saturday, 28 October 1989 i.e., Jassem’s forty third birthday. It just happened that he went to Dalal’s house and spent some time with her on that particular day!
To Dalal, Such an occasion was so dear and great that she could seize the chance to reveal her love feelings to Jassem and show him how much she cared for him that she has always had concern for him and he has always been the center of her attention in life. “Oh, Jassem is going to leave again?!”
Dalal knew he was going to leave for America the next day, Sunday, 29 October 1989; to leave for Souad after the medical conference had been over that its closing session was the day before. Dalal also knew that after his departure, she would suffer once more from that hateful feeling of loneliness, crushed by sorrow and her longing to see him. Oh. She knew she would be torn apart silently until it would be dawn, for she loved Jassem; she was fond of him. At the same time, she detested farewell and parting, dreaded departure and traveling. Since the first time Jassem left her, she has hated those times of utter agonies. Oh. That time too, she could not make him stay; he had to leave!
Jassem would look at her while unable to breathe a word or add something. He would stand up and thank her for her giving him a present after he had remembered the birthday of his son, Ahmad, that was last Thursday, that he made sure he would have to buy him a beautiful present that he would give to him when back.
Unfortunately, Jassem did not remember that it was Ahmad’s birthday that he did not call him to say, “Happy birthday to you”. He forgot all about that as he was too busy specially, on Thursday on which the conference closing session was that there was a world of activities, decisions and recommendations at it. Jassem felt so sorry about committing such a mistake though he did not mean it. Within himself, he took a decision to correct that mistake after his return and meeting Ahmad.
“He must be angry with me now”, he thought.
Jassem was immersed in thinking how to make his eldest son pleased with him. So, he rose bidding farewell to Dalal and thanking her for everything; thanking her for her caring for him. Before he went out, he assured her that her grandfather’s health would improve that he examined her once he arrived. Before leaving, he went to her grandmother’s room to say goodbye to her as well as to Dalal’s mother. He asked them to send Dana his greetings that she was not present that she went out with her Philippines nanny to play with her mates at the Naval People’s Club.
Dalal would accompany him wishing time would stop at that moment putting an end to the passage of minutes and hours so that he would not leave her to meet Souad ! But she noticed Jassem was not the same Jassem she knew before. He must have changed. That had to be the truth. All that was because of Souad; she was the cause of that change.
Oh, only God knew to what extent she felt jealous towards Souad. Her hate for Souad was beyond imagination, for indeed, she hated her. Yes, she did. She was the one who took Jassem from her. She was the one who took her beloved one from her. It was her lifetime love. She was the one who ruined her life; yes, she was!
Even though, Dalal kept silent, for there was no room for such feelings or talking about that then. She just kept silent stealing a look full of love, anger and blame at Jassem! By his marrying Souad, he inflicted an insult on the female’s pride within her. He ruined her image before everybody, before all people!
Oh, unfortunately, the car reached Al-Jabiryah quickly. It stopped at Mubarak Hospital. Jassem went out. He shook Dalal’s hands bidding farewell to her and thanking her. He did not like the farewell moment to take long that he tried to avoid looking at her eyes that were full of tears so he would not look weak before her and she would not look weak before him too, for he knew her. Yes, Jassem knew Dalal that he would not want her to look or feel weak before him. Indeed, he knew her very well; he knew she could not control her emotions that she was easily moved. He knew she could not control herself or her tears specially, when it came to thinking about him, his love and his heart.
Dalal drove the car back home while bursting in tears; her eyes were full of tears and anger so that she could not see the way before her. But there was a ghost of a smile expressing a sense of determination that made her feel assured that there was still a chance! Yes, she had not to give up, for there was still time; her beloved, Jassem, was going to leave tomorrow.
She went on crying, every inch in her body was crying, but no!
There were still a few hours left before he would leave. She would try to see him again during them! Yes, she still hoped to enjoy his company for some time; even for a little time!
Dalal drove her car crying, weeping and talking to herself to feel pacified, “No, I will not let you leave away from me. I will not; you are my love; yes, my love. Everything must be settled; Souad must know you are my beloved and that you were at my home. Souad must know that. I must make her agitated, sick at heart, and feel defeated because she is selfish caring only for herself. All she cares about is collecting money and nothing else. All she cares about is money and nothing but money. As for you, Jassem, she does not care for you; she made you changed and lost!
Chapter Thirteen
Longing and Departure
Yet, for her detriment, Dalal couldn’t see Jassem again, it was almost impossible for anyone to spot him in the few hours remaining for him in Kuwait, before he returns to the states.
Jassem’s plane landed in New York, and all his love memories with Souad kept coming back to him especially the sweet days of their honeymoon in Manhattan, that marvelous place in which they’ve had the sweetest romance, and the most affectionate love.
He remembers vividly the Astoria hotel, and how stunned Souad was standing there in the spacious luxurious lobby. He recalls how was he rushing the checking-in procedures, while Souad just stood there by his side, not knowing what to do or say.
As he remembers New York, he remembers the dazzling reception held in the same hotel for businessmen, he remembers how ignoring reduced and diminished him, while all the spotlights was on Souad, dazzling and adorning her, following her from this group to that as she articulately had all these talks about commerce and economy.
How he hates this despicable feeling! How he hates to be put through it again!
He resumes the journey to Syracuse upstate New York, where it’s usually chilly that time of the year, it’s the days of the fall, as cold and lonely as ever, it’s haunting him all over again.
Jassem walks into the house, coldly greets Souad, without the slightest expression of affection or longing, as if he hasn’t been gone at all. Then he refuges to silence, even phone calls, he stops talking for too long. Visits, parties, and receptions almost ended, it ceased to be enjoyable, and for whatever craving for fun and joy Jassem had now ended.
He became a totally different person, now that he feels he has no rule and that he’s not of much significance, though he’s always used to be in the spotlight, dazzling everyone, having all the attention. Yes, that’s how it used to be, with no exaggeration. Jassem was born and raised in his father’s house, General Ahmed Al-Nasser; he saw how his dad filled the house with confidence, strength, and power, without raising his voice, or sometimes without talking at all.
Jassem felt that his father’s existence itself imposed power; nothing was ever done without his consent. He doesn’t need to say no, he never said no, for everyone already knows his likes and dislikes, whatever he wants is done. People just love to hear him saying yes, they keep asking and he says, “Alright. So be it. God willing. I won’t turn you down. Of course.”
However Jassem was scattered, torn. He can’t say no, no one ever asked him for anything so that he could say yes or no. Jassem wasn’t stupid; he realized how different he is from his father, he knows how weak he is, and that his existence doesn’t fill the house with confidence and power rather than denial, and weakness.
That was exactly the faded figure he refuses to accept, that he can’t accommodate with no matter how hard he tries. No, he won’t live his life giving up one thing after the other! But the thing is he can’t find a way out. He can’t blame Souad. Could he blame her for being lucky? For being smart? For working hard? Or for becoming a successful business woman?
Also he realizes it’s of no use to blame her for anything, so what’s the way out of this situation? Should she stop working and give up her career? And even if she did, would she give up all the money she made? Should she donate them or something? No, it’s not just her money, it’s Ahmed, Anwar and Rakan’s money as well, and even if she accepted to give it up, he wouldn’t, it’s his children’s money. But the predicament is that this money made his children wealthy enough that they don’t need him anymore.
That was when he started to contact Dalal often. He talked to her whenever he needed to feel comfortable, she always asks for things, she never stops asking, and never stop thanking him. Always asking, thanking, insisting, talking… which was only normal, we always love the ones we give more the ones we take from, it’s the same thing that makes a mother so attached to her babies, because she gives them comfort and safety, she gives them life, and she knows they can’t do without her.
Souad keeps pretending she knows nothing about Jassem and Dalal, although she hears about it from other, that Jassem cares for Dalal, and her family. Laila tells her about it, and keeps warning her, “Watch out Souad. Be careful, Dalal won’t give it up. She won’t give up Jassem. Stay alert!
Souad gets confused, and refuges to silence. She doesn’t know how to open this embarrassing subject, he stopped talking to her in the first place, it’s like he’s digging for conferences to find a reason not to be home. He’s always searching for conferences, and of course she can’t blame him for it, because such conferences and lectures are his work. She could only try to fill the space he leave and be there for her children, who miss him and cry out of needing him. He’s always been so kind to them, and he’s always happy in the few moments he sees them, but these moments are so rare.
In the same time, Dalal considers Jassem as a property of hers, and that she must take him back. She can’t forget what Souad and Laila did when they ruined what she and Jassem had and cut off their communications. She loves Jassem still and won’t live without him, and she must take him back. Yes… She must… Now that he’s away it’s only been torturing her.
Dalal picks up the phone, thanking him for the care he’s shown for her grandmother, even her mother talks to him and thanks him for caring for the grandmother tells him the lady is fine now, and that they’re carrying on with the checks he told them about. Even little Dana talks to him, asks for a cartoon picture that’s not in Kuwait yet. Everyone asks him for something, everyone thanks him, everyone needs him, makes him feel that he’s of significance, and of value.
Dalal keeps tracking down Jassem’s news, and still envies Souad, the wealthy woman who has her money, her father, her brother, her kids. She just has had everything! She doesn’t need Jassem as much. She did manage to steal him from her, but she didn’t appreciate what she had, she ruined him. Jassem has changed; he’s not the same person Dalal used to know.
Dalal hears about him in Kuwait, that he stopped seeing anyone, stopped talking to anyone, stopped having his friends over even Everyone noticed he no longer smiles or laughs, he’s not as hospitable as before. They sensed it and refrained from visiting him.
As for Souad, she’s always busy with her projects and properties. In fact, Souad doesn’t have time for Jassem anymore, but her. She has all the time in the world to give. All the time!
Chapter Fourteen
Lights of the Feast
The trip has taken along time, almost eighteen hours, and Souad’s psychologically exhausted as shown on her features that she would have a hidden feeling of anxiety and felt disturbed by a hateful feeling irritating her lending her a sense of intense stress, suspense and expecting danger.
She would seek God’s refuge from the accurse Satan trying to rid herself of her anxieties and look more optimistic than she really is; she would search for a smile to wear on her face, but that smile would be a pale one.
Meanwhile, Jassem would look more energetic and vivacious all the time which is unusual of him. His acts stood for his vivacity and being energetic unlike the case when he has been recently in America. It is clear that now, he is happier than his wife, Souad who was about to fall down out of fear, anxiety. As for the children, they would surround their father that they would feel glad to spend all that time constantly that it has been a long time since they last gathered together.
Ahmad would talk to the Brazilian nanny describing to her Kuwait, its sea, its long sandy beaches, its blue towers containing this beautiful restaurant whose floor would make a circular movement so she can have a look at Kuwait from all directions. Ahmad would promise her he would take her there one day and will go with her sailing on board the private yacht owned by his grandfather, Salem; he would also promise to teach her fishing.
Ahmad would tell he would take her to the club so she would watch him practicing karate, Judo and Thai condo with his cousin, Mansour, son of his uncle, Faisal. Once Anwar would hear Mansour’s name, she would interrupt Ahmad talking to her nanny enthusiastically about him, “Mansour is a real champ; he can defeat you in a karate match as he is so strong that none can defeat him!”
Celebrations would start taking place, for it is the 29th Kuwaiti national anniversary. Badr would give Ahmad, Anwar, Rakan and their Brazilian nanny a lift. Also, he would take his cousin, Mansour, son of his uncle, Faisal, Mariam, Mona, Fadda, his nieces, daughters of his brother, Abdullah, and their Brazilian nanny to join his friends and the people joining the great march that would move expressing happiness, for it is the national Kuwaiti anniversary, on Persian Gulf street.
The girls would be dressed in garments representing the Kuwaiti flag while boys would wear t-shirts on which the Kuwaiti flag is printed. They would raise pictures of Sheikh, Jabir Al-Ahmad As-Sabbah, Prince of Kuwait, and Crown Prince, Sheikh, Saad Al-Abdullah As-Sabbah raising the flags and waving them in the air. All would be dancing and all would be singing and expressing their great love for Kuwait.
Happiness would be full of happiness that would be touched all the place and embrace all Kuwait that everyone would feel the beauty of that anniversary that the Kuwaitis are happy, Kuwait’s days are beautiful and joy feelings are overwhelming that they it can be felt in the air, on earth and in the sky; even the sea would be laughing and so would be everything on the great street. Young men and women express their extreme joy using this kind of foam that would harden once it would be expose to the air that it would turn into colored plastic strings that would stick on hair and clothes. They would also use balloons, conical caps and whistle. They would also use golden and silver paper tapes, and those of all colors. Everything is glimmering out of happiness. Indeed, it is the anniversary, the glorious Kuwaiti national anniversary.
None would sleep in that night that they are all happy as it is the national anniversary; governmental and public buildings, the parliament, ministries and hotels are all covered by those colored glimmering lamps and flags are flaring on buildings roofs that everything is laughing in Kuwait as it is the 29th anniversary of Kuwait’s independence. Zealous national songs can be heard from a distance in cars’ recorders. Sometimes, the youths would stop opening car doors to go dance on the streets, and then they would jump into their cars. All the Kuwaitis would sing for Kuwait, “O our beloved Kuwait, you are the dearest to us; may you remain in happiness.” The youths would stand in uncovered cars dancing, waving their flags, singing, teasing the youths in other cars spraying that substance that would harden and be elastic once it would be exposed to the air. What happiness! Joy and delight are overwhelming as people would have a great feeling of triumph, pleasure out of being with those people in this place and their love for the Prince, the Crown Prince and the great Kuwaiti people as well as the Kuwaiti land, “O our great land, you are the dearest to us; God support us.”
Celebrations on marking the Kuwaiti anniversary would last all Sunday, 25 February 1990 and they would be followed by other magnificent celebration on Tuesday, 27 February 1990 i.e., Anwar’s birthday that they prepare for it at their house in Keefan that she invited all family children to attend that birthday party, the first of whom is Mansour, son of her uncle, Faisal, whom Anwar is fond of. Also, Mariam, Mona, Fadda, her cousins and a large number of her class mates came to attend her fourth birthday party that they have been preparing for since they arrived in Kuwait.
Gas balloons would be gathered at the ceiling of the big hall that is almost covered by colored bright papers. At the corner, there was a hill of presents folded in bright covers so Anwar would give them during her birthday party to her children friends as rewards for winning different contests. Towards the other corner, there would be another hill of presents Anwar has received from her relatives, friends, sons and daughters of her neighbors, her father’s friends and her mothers’ too.
It was a beautiful delightful party that Jassem was keen to attend it that time and that is why it got more beautiful and delightful; Jassem was also keen on attending Anwar’s birthday party to make his absence in Ahmad’s birthday party when he was in Kuwait last October. That may be also as he was eager to be with his family and children among his people, friends and mates who were all keen to attend this party to be together on such a beautiful delightful occasion on which Anwar was glimmering like a beautiful doll in her long beautiful rosy dress that it added to its beauty that her long black hair would flow on her back and her golden chains would make her more beautiful and so would do her golden belt around her waist, her shoes and sockets that were embroidered by diamonds. She was really a doll that would move, jump, and walk among people present at the party full of beauty, delight and elegance.
It was a wonderful party and the band that was there was well trained to give children parties singing songs and playing music the children love. They would also make contests for children that Mansour would win them most of the time that he would move quickly, be funny and quick-witted knowing how to give the right answer before others to win the prize. He would also make people clap their hands for him out of admiring him.
Indeed, all would be laughing having fun. Celebrations were all over Kuwait that happiness in homeland among the beloved is unmatched: Long live Kuwait and its people. Long live Kuwait; God save it. Indeed, living among one’s people in one’s home country is unmatched that it would lend a feeling different from that one when one is away from home, family and one’s people who would give one love, compassion, sympathy and other beautiful feelings.
This mixture of feelings was in the party that was attended by a number of Jassem’s friends who were footballers and were keen to share him his happiness celebrating his daughter’s birthday that was the occasion Jassem marked among his people and friends in his homeland. How great! It is a great thing to be back home after being away from it for a long time to meet one’s beloved ones.
In fact, Jassem was so happy to be in Kuwait among his people, good people, in homeland that’d give one feelings of love and kindness to its people. Long live Kuwait and God save its people.
The party is over and it was a late hour at night, but Jassem has not arrived yet that he went out with his friends and he was out till that moment. Night would be sad and boring that it would agitate Souad and make her feel deprived in Jas3em’s absence as she would always need him by her side, yet he would always be absent.
Souad would look at the empty bed that was cold during his absence as he did not give it the scent of his breath and his warm feelings the she loves and is eager to receive. “O god, help!” She cannot exercise patience while Jassem would ignore her more and more. She would sigh and wonder in pain, “O god, what did I do to be treated like that by Jassem?! Why does he punish me that way?! I did nothing wrong!”
She would not know what to do and the only thing that consoles her in that case was that Laila, her father and her mother do love her making up for her emotional void that she would suffer from making her feel sick at heart!
Souad would feel Jassem’s family like her being among them, but she loves Jassem and needs him not knowing what to do to overcome that barrier between him and her that she does not know how to make him stop deserting her! In all cases, Jassem’s acts are not justifiable! She would hear that song on the radio, “Your complaints won’t make me stop deserting you, let my rivals benefit you in my absence, for I have been begging you a lot of times, but you are too stubborn.”
Souad would spend another night like those other long nights counting stars one by one staring at bitch-black darkness sighing and pacifying herself, “True, Jassem, is preoccupied with his work as he is an outstanding doctor who is too busy nowadays due to celebrations on marking World Health Day that is to be on the 1st of May, but that does not justify his ignoring her that way. He has been ignoring me all these days as if he does not see me! How come I do not exist in his life?!”
Souad’s heart would get overburdened with great agony, grief, depression and bewilderment due to his absence and deserting her. She would be steaming with anger feeling grief and defeated thinking within her soul about Jassem’s ignoring her and absence! It must be Dalal who took him from her; she did it that time!”
Souad would rise in the morning preparing her children to go to school telling them she would not be able to take them to school as she was tired and exhausted. She would tell the chauffeur to take them to school in stead of her. She would go to the kitchen fixing herself a cup of coffee sitting in the big hall in the seat of Jassem whom she is fond of, to smell his odor that she is eager to have him by her side. She would sit sipping coffee all alone.
At that moment, she would notice a car of the same color of her mother’s and then, she would see her Indian chauffeur opening the outer door of the house that she left it open. She would rise feeling confused and go downstairs so quickly in that early hour of the morning that her coat wove in the air.
She would feel surprised to see her mother and ask her while worried, “What’s up, mom? Something wrong?”
Her mother would pacify her saying while smiling, “We are O.K., but your father wants to see you now to talk to you that he did not sleep last night; he told before dawn to go bring you to see him as he felt you were not O.K. in the last few days. So, he wanted to see you.”
Souad would wear her clothes hurriedly as she knew how her father would love her so much and feel worried about her. Souad’s mother would sit to drink tea with her sister whereas Laila was getting ready to go to university while Souad was getting prepared to go to her father. Before she would leave, she would awaken Jassem to ask for his permission to go to her father. So, he would get up to prepare himself to go to work at Mubarak Hospital.
Jassem’s father was about to leave saluting Abdullah’s mother asking her to send his highest regards to Abdullah’s father asking how he was and then, he would leave to go to work at Defense Ministry. Then, Souad would go with her mother to her father’s house in Ash-Shamiyah while feeling sad and heart-broken as she would not stand that situation any more.
She would ask her mother kindly, “What is wrong with you, my daughter?!”
Souad would not help saying, “I can’t stand that any more. I can’t be patient any more.”
Her mother would ask her most anxiously, “What is making you feel so?! Did Jassem upset you?!”
Crying, Souad would say, “I wish he would; we can no longer see each other and he does not know what I am feeling as if I am not his wife. Jassem is gone!”
Her mother would feel sympathy for her saying, “Come on, Jassem loves you and cares for you; he is just a bit busy nowadays that his being a doctor overburdens him with a lot of responsibilities. You have to be patient.” “No, mom,” says Souad, “I have lost him since a long time, but I just kept silent that I would not have told you about that unless you came today.”
The car drew nearer to the big white house in Ash-Shamiyah. Souad tries to hide her tears quickly so her father would notice nothing, but she would find him standing before the outer door f the house waiting eagerly for her arrival and seeing her.
Souad would get out of the car while unable to control her feelings after her revealing her psychological distress to her mother. She would salute her father trying to avoid eye contact with him so he would not see her tears on her face. She would come in bending her head as if counting the decoratively-planted garden roses close to her feet!
She come into the hall and sit down while her father would go to turn on the radio and they would hear a voice that they were pleased to hear it and were so attached to it as it reminded them of sweet past memories.
Souad would try hard to control her tears while hearing that song that would remind her of lovely memories. Her father would sit by her side searching for Souad’s lovely smile that he would love and want to see it. He makes his head touches his shaking her on listening to the words of that beautiful song whose singer’s voice was warm and tender. He would sing her alone that song, “O night, o night! I am heart-broken. I am dying to win his love, yet he makes me suffer from loving him; o night.”
Souad would keep listening to it and trying to bear up with and resist her feelings, and get engaged in a conflict with her tears, but she would be in outburst of tears after finding her father crying that his face was wit and so was hers.
Chapter Fifteen
Shocking Surprise
Souad would feel rest at the decision her father had taken on her behalf that he insisted she would fly to America to change her place and return to her work that would make her busy so she would forget about her problems with her husband n her agonies. He would also insist to be accompanied by her mother so she would be by her side after sensing she was seriously depressed that she was about to lose her vivacity, energy and beauty. So, the father would insist on that saying to his daughter, “If Jassem objects to your traveling let me talk to him.”
In a defeated voice, Souad would say, “Do not bother, dad. Jassem will not object to that; rather, he will welcome that. “Indeed, Jassem would not object to her traveling to America with her children, specially, because the summer vacation was due while he was too busy with his work at the hospital and practicing football sport the club.
Souad would return to America and confine herself to her seat on the plane looking at Kuwait most sadly though she would try to avoid thinking about Jassem’s frustrating stance as she would refuse to confess she has been suffering striving against her feelings of grief, gloom and humiliation that would make her feel inferior to Dalal whose image started to appear in the horizon that it got bigger and bigger while the plane took off.
Souad would enter her house in Syracuse that she would get indulged in fantasies of the past memories; she would look at those photos on the walls and the tables in their little frames that are scattered on the shelf of the marble heater. So, she would feel shaken out of her missing him while her heart would go all over the place while she was silent overwhelmed by grief. She would proceed to go to her room guided by the light of her past memories that would turn the darkness in the house into bright light that would enlighten her soul’s darkness.
She would cry over her present situation as well as Jassem’s. The train of her memories would overwhelm her. This is a photo they were taken together during their honeymoon. This is her photo while pregnant. She would smile on remembering how Jassem took her that photo from a particular angle so it would show how her abdomen was inflated on taking her that photo, while laughing loudly that he almost lay on his back; it was her ninth month of pregnancy that she was to give birth to Ahmad then and it was cold then too, but though she wore a heavy wool pullover, that photo showed how her abdomen was inflated.
This is their other photo. It was taken in Manhattan in New York while they were having dinner together at the hotel during their honeymoon. It shows that they were deeply in love with one another. This is Jassem’s photo while having lunch with his friend doctor, Naïf and d a number of other doctors on the weekend discussing their hospital project. In this photo, they are all, including Laila, getting their breath back that their clothes were in sweat while they are eating watermelon after playing football at one of the parks on July, 4th , America’s Independence Day.
Souad would smile tenderly addressing herself while she outburst into tears; she would recall those beautiful memories, “How beautiful those days were!”
Here is Jassem’s photo smiling. Souad would feel he is smiling to her staring at her with his wide deep eyes that have been used to getting into her soul to the core. She would feel she is dying to see him blaming him for his absence. She would sigh, “O Jassem, days pass by in your absence as if they are years.” She would wonder while feeling pain, “What are you doing now, Jassem?”
She would recall that song she would love and enjoy listening to that her feelings would listen to its words with all love and eagerness,
“O you are absent and away from me, is your heart torn apart out of love or are you happy? I wonder what to do, for my love for you is excessive? It’s been a long time since we last met; o you are away from me.”
Souad would return to the real world as would hear her mother’s voice that she would call her. So, she would rub her tears quickly and go to her mother, but she would not be able to conceal signs of her grief that quickly that their traces would remain clearly shown on her face so her mother would agitatedly ask her, “What’s wrong with you, Souad? What has come upon you?”
Souad would embrace her mother taking her between her arms in love saying in a voice full of her feelings of despair that is mixed with pain and grief that she would try to conceal them, “I am O.K., mom; nothing wrong with me.”
The mother would find herself obliged to remain silent, for she would neither want to remind her daughter of her pains on talking to her nor to agitate her once more stirring her feelings of grief, for she was aware of the reason for her suffering and for her despair; that matter has become no longer a secret to be hidden. All of them think Jassem seeks Dalal’s pleasure ignoring Souad that he would not ask about her even for once out of his love for Dalal.
Her mother would ask Souad to call her father in Kuwait to tell him they have arrived in America and so would do Souad that he would feel reassured. She would also dial Jassem’s home phone number to tell them of their arriving in America, but she would not find him. She would call Laila and her aunt to tell them about their arrival; her aunt’s husband was asleep then.
After a while, Ahmad would come asking to call his father, but Souad would tell him he is not home. So, he would ask her to let him talk to his grandpa, “I miss my grandpa so much.”
Souad would call her father again and Ahmad would talk to him most enthusiastically, “We have arrived safely; don’t bother, for I am with them. I’ll stay in America for some time and then, come to Kuwait to spend the vacation together, God willing; I won’t be late.”
Days pass by and Souad would keep trying to escape from herself that she would get herself immersed in her work to the core that she would not give herself a moment of rest so she would not suffer from Jassem’s absence that she would be unable to answer Ahmad’s question, “When’ll dad come?”
And she would not be able to respond to Anwar on saying, “I want to see my father so he would play hide and seek with me, and to run after me in the garden.”
Souad would feel burnt in the hell of her memories addressing Jassem through her feelings trying to quench their fire of love in her heart, but all in vain. She would call Jassem to tell him, “Ahmad is upset and wants you to come to him; when’ll you come?”
But Jassem would say he would not be able to come as he is busied with his work that it would put great strain on him that he would not have time to come to Ahmad. Souad would not be able to be patient any more that she would decide not to ask him to come again so he would make his own decision to come whenever he would like. She would sigh in distress, “Oh, indeed, all in vain: every now and then, you would give me excuses, but all are not accepted as my love for you in your absence would make me cry.”
One day, doctor, Naïf would call Souad asking about Jassem and Souad would tell him he might come soon. He would say, “I hope you trust me as you trust Jassem as if he is here; if you need anything, please, tell me. Please, Souad, do not hesitate to do so.”
Her mother would ask her, “Who are you talking to on the phone?”That is Naïf, Jassem’s friend. He is a Saudi doctor working with Jassem at the same hospital and he visited us last summer that he attended Rakan’s birthday party; don’t you remember him? He was that tall thin young man that you said he looked like Faisal, my brother. You remember him, now?”
The mother tries to remember that person, but to no avail and she would say, “I o not remember anything of the sort; if you asked me what I ate yesterday, I would not know what to tell you!”
Souad would rise and call Kuwait talking to Laila happily telling her about that interesting news, “Laila, listen, Naïf called us today and asked about Jassem. I bet he wants to tell him something important. I don’t know what he wants to tell him exactly. Maybe, he’ll propose to marry you. I sense that that call is not an innocent one.”
Souad would ask Laila to try to come at whatever cost stressing, “Don’t take a long time to come, Laila. I miss you so much.”
In Kuwait, Laila and her mother would do their best trying to convince Jassem of traveling to America saying, “You know, I can’t wait any longer; I am ready to leave right now.”
Jassem would beg her, “Come on, Laila, be patient till I perform Dalal’s grandmother operation and then, I’ll be free to go with you; only a few days are left.”
Laila would cry angrily, “What few days are you talking about, Jassem?! The end of the summer is due; we are now in July. Or will you wait until it is cold there so we would not be able to move at all?! No, Jassem, get them another doctor to perform that operation and you come with us. I can’t stand that hot weather.”
Jassem would get amazed and astonished saying, “I can’t Laila, that can’t be; I am her doctor that I know her case from A to Z and I have to perform that operation myself that I can’t let any other doctor perform it.”
Laila would keep silent steaming with anger uttering unclear words cursing Dalal, her mother and her grandmother that she would say trying to suppress her anger saying, “I don’t know when that Dalal, her mother and her grandmother thing will end. O God rid us of them all at once.”
In the afternoon of the same day, Dalal would call Jassem awakening him and ask him to come immediately to her house as her grandmother case was so serious and she did not know how to act. She would say, “Please, Jassem don’t be late; my grandma’s case is serious.”
Jassem would jump from his bed after Dalal had awakened him with her voice that was full of fear; he would change quickly and in no time, he would be reach her house as he knows how serious her grandmother’s case is that examination results showed that she had problems in her heart veins. Indeed, it was a serious case that there should be no delay.
He would come in quickly and heads for the grandmother’s room so he would examine her well and injects her with a dose that would make her survive that critical health problem. Then, he would sit in the reception room sipping tea waiting for her to be conscious to feel reassured about her. He would say to Dalal, “Your grandma has to be admitted to hospital right now, Dalal. I’ll send an ambulance to take her there. Get her ready to go there; she has to spend that night at hospital so tomorrow, we will do some tests before the operation. There is no room for any delay. “Dalal would start crying and ask Jassem in fear, “Is her case that serious, Jassem?”
Jassem would say, “Don’t worry. God will help us.”
Jassem would sip tea and then, rise to go to hospital and all of a sudden, Dalal would cry in an outburst of tears that he would look at her in astonishment saying, “I told you not to worry; her case is not that serious.”
Dalal would answer in a weird voice, “No, I am not worried about my grandma; I just want to ask you how you could marry another one but me!”
Jassem was struck by surprise that he never thought of such a sudden emotional stance that it was not the right time to say such things that he would quickly respond in bewilderment and embarrassment, “I never promised to marry you; now, you area mother and I am a married man who has three children. This talk is useless.”
Dalal would say while absent-minded immersed in her nostalgia as if she received no objections from Jassem, “But that was expected and known to everybody, not only me.”
Jassem would say felling the same bewilderment and embarrassment, “But you got married, Dalal!”
She would impatiently say, “True, I got married, but I did so to avenge myself on you, Jassem. I had to restore my lost pride before you and myself as well as all people. But I never forgot you; I loved none but you and that what has been torturing me as I could never forget about you and you never were out of my life.”
Dalal would go on blaming him in a weak voice mixed with a crying tone, “You did me wrong, Jassem; you wronged me. You are my first and last love in my life”.
Jassem would get surprised on facing that crushing emotional attack saying in a low voice that he tried to make it calm and strong, “Let bygones be bygones; drop that subject, Dalal; don’t forget I am married.”
Dalal would cry hysterically, “Married, married!” She would cry so much till her heart was about to be torn apart; she would cry in love, despair, grief. She would just keep crying!
Jassem would feel perplexed due to that intense nervous emotional surprise that overwhelmed him that he would suddenly feel depressed and would not be able to stay any longer with Dalal at the same place; he would leave the room aimlessly without saluting anyone in the house.
He would feel so angry that he would nit want to go back home again or to go to hospital. He would not know where to go at that time. Where could he go when he was unable to go to sleep or even to work?
He wears a frown on his face on remembering Dalal’s accusing him of wronging her that he would feel he is the wronged one; he would feel depressed and pain on finding he could not respond to her and clarify all things to her to clear himself so he would defend himself against such a false accusation that came as a surprise to him. He would angrily drive the car in the opposite direction heading for the club; he would call the hospital before going there to ask the resident doctor there to send an ambulance to the address and the name he told him about. He would also tell him the phone number of the patient so she would know the ambulance is on its way to her.
Jassem would go to the club and meet some friends and footballers who would welcome him. At once, a friendly football match starts and Jassem would play carelessly lacking enthusiasm that he could not score even one goal.
He stays at the club after the match talking to some of the administration staff about promoting the Gulf League in the future and how Sheikh, Fahad Al-Ahmad, the head of the organizing committee of the 10th Gulf League and the president of the Kuwaiti Football Association has declared that day who will meet with presidents of Football Associations in the Gulf region later on in Bahrain to discuss the future of the Gulf League. One of the admin staff would confirm that Sheikh, Fahad Al-Ahmad has declared in a press conference that day that Kuwait is a country famous for hospitality and it would not insist on receiving that fine as stated in regulations that was to be paid by the Iraqi national team because of its withdrawal from the League.
The discussion among Jassem, players and the admin staff about the future of the game and the Iraqi stance towards other coming Gulf Leagues that would not stop in the future though not sure if Iraq was to be invited to participate in them or not.
Jassem would leave the club after he had been a bit calm after playing football that he became less nervous and stressed and became calmer, happier and in harmony finding ease at his work and life as well as within himself. So, he would call Dalal on the car phone to make sure her grandmother was hospitalized assuring her operation would be performed the next day.
A few days later, Dalal’s grandmother survived her serious case that she left the ICU to her room in the suite and Jassem would tell Dalal she is constantly improving that her case became stable that she was not to be worried. He would also tell them his colleague, doctor, Hashim, would take care of her in his absence that he had to leave for America the next day.
Dalal would remain silent that she would hate to learn that Dalal is to leave her, but she could not reveal her true feelings as she would know how attached he is to his little son, Rakan, who is the dearest to him whom he would keep talking about all the time; he was the one to choose that old name for him that it would express his love and missing Kuwait when he was in America.
Dalal would not object to his leaving her, for Jassem did his best to help her grandmother that she was to be grateful to him for his exerting all that effort with her grandmother and caring for her. Her mother would thank him too thanking God for sending him to them to help them and save hr mother. She would also pray to God they would never part that she would keep praying from all her heart,
“God save you, Jassem, so you’d help us. God grant you a long lifetime and save you.”
Jassem would leave and reach his house in America that it would get more illuminated on his arrival and Souad would look at him excitedly and happily due to his presence. “O God, does not he know he is my love?!”
She would get more excite on seeing him and feel she needs him more, “Oh Jassem.”
“You are the sweetest thing in my whole life and you are always in my mind, you possess my love, my thoughts and my hopes.” All would gather on dinner: Naïf, Jassem and Abdurrahman, the new doctor who came from the United Arab Emirates. The three of them would sit together to have dinner that the food was cooked by Souad and Laila; all were extremely happy as that day was 31/7/1990 i.e., Rakan’s 3rd birthday. It was such a wonderful party attended by a number of friends living in America that they all came to welcome Jassem and say happy birthday to Rakan.
They would get happier on learning of that beautiful news that warmed Laila’s heart as her brother, Jassem told her Naïf wanted to marry her. So, he asked her what she thought of that and she would nod her head as a sign of acceptance. Jassem would tell Jassem about her accepting his proposal to marry her asking him to wait till he would tell her father and know his opinion. Souad would feel so happy that she would keep kissing Laila congratulating her, “Congratulations, Laila, I wish you all the best.” Laila would receive her mother’s and her aunt’s congratulations and Ahmad, her nephew, Ahmad, would say he likes Naïf. Anwar would say, “Naïf is a good match, Laila; indeed, he is.”
It has been a long time since Souad last saw James’s smiles, “O God, I missed that smile.” The whole atmosphere turns into a happy one that it would be full of roses, flowers and presents that flooded the place out of happiness about that beautiful occasion that had a clear impact on everybody as shown on their faces. They would thank God praying to God to make that happiness last for ever and saying happy birthday to Rakan. A few hours later, they would receive another beautiful piece of news that would add to their happiness; the birth of Abdul-Aziz, son of Abdullah, Souad’s elder brother, who was Miriam’s, Mona’s and Faddah’s brother. How great!
Happiness would be all over the place and all would thank God praying to God to bless the son of Abdullah and his wife, Ibtesam, whom they have been looking forward to since a long time. True, he was defected but he was put in an incubator at hospital in Ash-Shuwaikh.
“No matter, tomorrow, he will grow up and become a great man.”
On that day, Jassem would tell Souad he would discuss with Jassem preparations for his marriage talking to him about those formalities after calling his father in Kuwait telling him about the whole thing and know about his acceptance.
Souad would approve of Jassem’s thoughts and her heart would a big smile, for here Jassem is talking to her telling her where he was going to be in that night; she would thank God he once more would deal with her as his wife; she almost forgot that. Indeed, she forgot that; she forgot how he would deal with her as his wife. All this is because of Dalal.
Dalal, Dalal! Dalal was sitting at that time in her house in Kuwait with her mother who was about to lose her mind out of fear for her sick mother who was between life and death at Mubarak hospital that she lost control of her nerves out of anger and fury that she furiously kept telling Dalal,
“Why has Jassem left us, Dalal? Why hasn’t he waited till my mother would leave the hospital and return home? Was it so urgent to leave us? Does not he care for you, Dalal? How could he leave my mother to be cared for by another doctor? “Wasn’t it Jassem who performed her operation? Who deserves his presence more: You, Dalal, and you grandma whose case is so serious or that Souad who wants him to attend her two-year-old son’s birthday party?! How come?! Shame on him!”
At that moment, Dalal would feel torn by jealousy; fury and anger on hearing her mother’s words that reminded her of how Souad and Laila conspired against her so Souad would take Jassem from her.
She would steam with anger feeling there is a volcano deep within herself; flames of jealousy would set her nerves on fire that she could not help crying out of her feeling defeated blaming her misfortune comparing her fate with Souad’s.
The conversation between Souad and her mother would be over that her mother would rise angrily and go to sleep in her room so she would get up early to go check on her mother at hospital. Thereupon, Dalal’s fury would be aroused that she would dial Jassem’s number in America, but as usual, Laila would tell her in a cold voice,
“Jassem is not here at the moment.”
Dalal would get so angry and cry, “I said let me talk to Jassem or I’ll show you what I’ll do, you liar. I know Jassem is home. Let hi talk to me.”
Laila would cry in a fit of anger, “You are the liar; you never feel shame; Jassem is now married and has three kids. So, what do you want from him?”
Laila ends the call and only a minute later, the phone would ring again that Laila would answer it, “You again? What do you want from Jassem? You…”
Before going on, Souad would take the ear piece from Laila quietly and talk to Dalal submitting to that situation that she could not ignore that complex emotional situation on hearing Dalal’s crying and shouting begging to talk to Jassem as her sick grandmother’s case was serious that she was about to die. Souad would submit to that situation as she could not forget Jassem is a doctor I the first place.
She would give Dalal Naiad’s phone number telling her calmly, “You may contact him now on that number, Dalal.”
Souad would end the call while her whole body would be shaking that she would stay sitting at her place and her heart would strongly beat that she would keep silent speechless. Laila’s would gaze at her in extreme bewilderment and amazement on hearing such a thing. Souad’s aunt and mother objected to her giving Dalal the chance to contact Jassem even at Naiad’s house.
After this exciting situation, all remain silent as if a secret agreement was made among them to wait for Jassem’s return that the impact of Dalal’s call on him will be clear on knowing she quarreled with Laila, his sister, that Laila’s mother felt disturbed an dreaded Dalal would complain about what Laila did to her. She would keep silent without knowing how to have an outlet for or suppress her rage so she would ask Lila to play an Arabic movie for entertainment, but before she would rise, Ahmad would hasten to play “Bye, Bye, Arabs” play starring artist, Abdul-Hussein Abdu-Reda and he would want to play “Knights of Al-Manakh” play starring the same author too that he would ask them to choose one to watch and they would say, “You choose, Ahmad.”
They would all sit and watch the farcical play while Souad would look at her son, Ahmad from time to time in love so she would see how he would admire and get affected by that actor’s performance. She would smile as she would know Ahmad is like his uncle, Badr, loves artist, Abdul-Hussein Abdu-Reda. She would also know he has admired that artist since he was young as he would watch his uncle making like that great artist.
All of a sudden, Jassem would come in that he was not expected to come that early that day. It was almost seven o’clock according to New York local time and he used not to come home before midnight.
Jassem would come in with signs of anger and rage shown on his face wearing a frown on it. He looked so strange and scary which was unusual of him. He would sit down wearing that frown on his face and remain speechless ignoring their existence though Ahmad, his son, was there that he would stand still as if he does not see him. Even Rakan who was playing with sweets boxes, and hazelnuts and almonds; he would approach his father joyfully expecting him to play with him and kiss him was ignored by his father too as if he did not see him.
Jassem would stand still and utter no word at all breathing nothing as if he became dumb; all he did was shaking his legs nervously and unconsciously while signs of extreme anger, grief and bewilderment were clear on his face.
He looked confused unable to know how to start talking to them. Laila would feel so afraid on finding Jassem looking that way. She would look at her mother in fear and suspense searching for her shelter and protection from Jassem anger and his inevitable and expected fury that she knew it would be so violent.
She would sit in fear holding her breath while unable to look at her brother who looked like a timed bomb about to explode, but she would summon her courage and say, “I am sorry, Jassem, I did not mean to hurt Dalal’s feelings; I just wanted…”
Before she goes on, Jassem would raise his eyes that looked extremely red to look at her that they looked as if they were immersed in a sea of blood. Then, he would cry in a dreadful way that his body would shake; he would cry while hiding his face with his wrest, “Kuwait is lost. Kuwait is lost!”
Chapter Sixteen
Striking Shock
Grief overwhelms the whole house and stimulated pains would overwhelm everybody too that they could not stand the aftermath of such a shock and fear after losing any contact with people in Kuwait after midnight that Al-Dira was isolated away from the whole world. “O Lord, have mercy on your servants.” All would talk at the same time and be silent at the same time. All would wonder what could happen then.
Souad would keep going to and fro keeping trying hard to call her father on the first day of the Iraqi invasion, but in vain; they lost all contact with him.
Thereupon, grief, wailing and cries would prevail that the old and the young would cry refusing to believe that shocking news, “100.000 Iraqi soldiers storm the Kuwaiti lands and capture the palace of his highness Prince of Kuwait as well as other important buildings in a sudden attack that took place at 4:30 A.M. on Thursday, 2 August, 1990.”
Fear and awe spread that all would weep, cry and wail and the echo of their crying makes walls shake and cry themselves in grief and distress. All would get indulged in painful feelings and keep crying. Even little Rakan would cry though not knowing why he would! He would just keep crying just like all the others in sad grief and dreadful fear that would make the child panic and keep crying all the time.
“O God, You Who answer prayers, relieve our distress and affliction.”
Time would stop passing and all would not know what to do after hearing such news. All would keep silent hearing watching and listening attentively to different pieces of news and information through all mass media after losing all contact with Kuwait.
All hearts would be conquered by fear and deep anxiety that would plague souls of those trying to know what was going on exactly, but in vain as there was no proper reason for what happened or what is happening; this is abnormal and unprecedented.
They would wonder if time ceased to pass or the watch hands are unable to move forward! They would wait receiving more shocking news that would make them overwhelmed by grief, agony and pain in utter sadness. The news would fall like falling rocks on their heads that they would be shocked, astonished, and afraid and agonize over it.
They would feel frustrated and their hearts would be shaking hoping to get rid of such feelings; they would follow up news on all channels and stations. Jassem would sit in tiresome telling himself, his soul and his heart are exhausted. He could not believe that news. But unfortunately, that is reality that it was shocking news though illogical.
His heart would yell in agitation on hearing this saddening news item, “Invaders capture Dasman palace, the seat of the Kuwaiti prince and turn it into a military area.”
Ahs would spread all over the place that would make walls shake out of grief, for Sheikh, Fahad Al-Ahmad was gone while defending the palace and the honor of Kuwait. He was martyred sacrificing his blood for Kuwait. Jassem would cry from his heart as he never cried before. Dasman palace was captured by invaders. Sheikh, Fahad, was away from the palace when he heard the news that he headed for the palace quickly and there he got engaged in fighting invaders resisting them as much as possible till he was martyred.
Jassem would grieve over sheikh, Fahad Al-Ahmad that he could imagine what happened that he was bewildered and sad, “He fought with them in Fao! He felt they were his brothers and that was his obligation towards them that he had to defend them and their land. And after all that, they kill him in cold blood after all that he had done for them?!”
Souad would sit on the floor holding with her shaking hand a bottle of perfume putting some perfume on her mother’s forehead as she lost conscious on learning that her son major, Faisal, was martyred that he was a policeman. He was martyred at the police station in the capital while defending his homeland when invaders stormed the police station killing all those inside it in the beginning of that hateful invasion. “O God!”
Jassem would recite some verses of the Koran, “Do not consider those who died for the skae of God are dead, they are alive in the realm of Heavens given their bounties.”
They would keep receiving more news about that horror that plagued Kuwait. All those who would such bad news about what was going on in Kuwait and what its people would face would grieve over that. Hearts would shake, agony would be overwhelming, all would cry much more till their eyes would get tired and fear would triumph over them, for none knows what was going on there and what those who survived would face in Kuwait.
They would feel more agitated on hearing that news item reported by Reuters, “From 600 to 800 Kuwaitis have been killed and injured on the first day of invasion.” They would feel further more agitated on hearing Sheikh, Saud Nasser As-Sabbah, the Kuwaiti ambassador to the U.S. saying, “The Iraqi forces continue violating human rights committing atrocities of war against civilians.”
All hearts would feel pain wondering, “Oh, that is still alive? Who was dead? O God, help us and have mercy on your servants. Save them and help them, for You are the Greatest Helper and Supporter.
Souad would keep crying thinking of her people, her father, her brothers, their wives and their kids, “O God, help them! How are they now? Can they stand those horrific acts? What about my father, Salem, that good friendly man?! What will he do with them?! O God!”
She would cry in pain, “O father, where are you?! Where are you, Abdullah? God rest your soul, Faisal. May you rest in peace! How is Mansour doing now? Can he live without you?!” She would cry ceaselessly breaking all hearts feeling tortured by her anxiety about the Kuwaitis praying to god to relieve them from their distress, “O Lord, save the Kuwaitis and support them.”
Grief would control all; nights would get much darker with the passage of time and Jassem would desperately try to alleviate the pain of those around him, for their health and psychological conditions are seriously and dreadfully deteriorating, for souls are overwhelmed by grief, anxiety is uncontrollable suppressing all people and hearts that they would be more endangered, specially as his aunt has a diseased heart that she would not stand all that stress, agitation, grief distress and crying.
They receive more news that they would know a ferocious battle erupted between the invaders and the Kuwaiti military forces in Keefan that took three days and in which different kinds of weapons and there was crossfire after which many Kuwaiti military people and civilians had been captured and none knows anything about them.
The situation would further deteriorate to be more horrific after Laila and Jassem’s mother lost conscious on hearing that bad news about what the Kuwaitis are facing there that they have been resisting that invasion s much as possible, but the invaders got more violent and kept wronging the Kuwaitis treating them unjustly.
Laila would keep trying to know any news about her father, General, Ahmad An-Nasser, in Keefan that she was constantly afraid he might be encountering horrors after learning about what was going on there, but in vain.
She would cry, “O God, what will they do to them?” Laila would keep crying together with her mother, her aunt, Souad and her kids, Ahmad and Rakan; even the Brazilian nanny would cry on seeing them crying and so would the chauffeur and the American employees in Souad’s company that they all would feel sad about such horrors.
With the passage of time, the situation further intensifies that they cannot escape the painful feelings of such a calamitous situation. Jassem would not know what to do on learning that the American administration froze the Kuwaiti deposits and assets in America, and in branches of its banks abroad.
“O God, what can we do?! How can we handle such an unexpected situation?” Such a situation would make Jassem lose control and be unable to stand his being bankrupt over a night; he transformed the greatest part of his account to American banks before leaving to Kuwait last February. He found himself having only a little amount of money. What a calamitous and a critical situation that would keep deteriorating all the time.
Jassem would go to the hospital so he would meet Arab doctors there to discuss the status quo that he did not know what to do or which decision he should make. After quick thinking, some colleagues would advise him to go to work the hospital. So, he would apply for a job in the hospital and he would be welcomed by people there that they would receive his C.V. promising to inform him once there is a vacant post.
Jassem would return home frustrated putting his keys chain and glass on the table in the living room. He would enter his bedroom feeling suffocated, furious and stressed as he was encountering such an unexpected calamitous situation. He unintentionally would touch his wallet containing his credit cards, visa cards and master cards, American Express or Dinners; he would get them out of the wallet and watch them while holding them one by one in grief and distress as they are of no value at all, they were like those playing cards!
He would throw them beside the bed and take off his clothes, go to the bathroom in the bedroom to bathe; the water would flow on his hot head in hope it would put off that hell inside him. He would dry his water shaking his head right and left after getting out of the bath wet hoping the cold water on his body would reduce the heat he feels and reduce the speed of thoughts running in his mind!
He would get out in a white gown. He would sit on the floor in the living room beside Laila stretching his legs leaning against the long sofa that he used to lie on. He would get closer to his sister putting his hand on her shoulder and pacifying her saying, “Do not worry, Laila, don’t worry! Your dad is O.K. and so is Kuwait. Everything will be O.K. Just don’t worry.”
Laila would reply to him crying, “But the news showed us the situation is too serious there and you know can’t stand being insulted that he will respond to them, for he is too proud of himself that they may kill him as he belongs to the armed forces.”
Jassem would desperately try to pacify her saying, “Stop it, please, Laila. Your dad is a hero that you shouldn’t worry about him; he can manage his affairs. Your mother shouldn’t hear you saying so as she would go mad then. She can’t stand hearing such things. Try to bear that in mind and control yourself; God will help us.”
Laila would look at her mother who was lying on the floor before the TV watching it attentively in hope she would hear the news of the Iraqi withdrawal that some news agencies reported that i.e., the Iraqi forces started to withdraw from Kuwait at 8:00 A.M. on basis of the agreement made with the so-called transitional government. Jassem’s mother would keep looking forward to knowing this is true, but she would feel totally frustrated on knowing that Sheikh, Souad, the Kuwaiti ambassador to America, said that was a mere lie that none could believe it.
Abdullah’s mother was still asleep that Jassem would care for her injecting her with sedatives from time to time so her case would not get much worse or her heart would be subjected to more tension. Meanwhile, Laila would keep anxious and afraid of such a calamitous situation the were encountering; here Naief has come bidding farewell to them as he was going to leave for his home as Saudi Arabia started mobilizing its troops and the Saudi radio called all those whose age would allow them to perform military service to enlist; the Saudi air force mobilized its troops too.
Laila hoped so much that this ordeal will come to an end so soon that Saddam would withdraw his armed forces from Kuwait so things would be O.K. once again, but within a few hours, the situation escalates, for American President, George Bush meets with his consultants to review possible military alternatives in the Gulf War that the U.S. started mobilizing it navy forces and the marines as well as putting its bombers on the alert in the Gulf.
Souad would lie in her bed in her room talking to Ahmad, who would try to stop crying asking in fear and agitation about Kuwait and conditions there, “Why did they kill my uncle, Faisal?! Why did they attack the police station?! Haven’t we loved them and provided them with money and food when they were fighting Iran?!”
Souad would be unable to find an answer for his questions as she was asking the same questions without finding answers for them. She would feel anxious about her child on seeing him in that case. His sadness and fear was clear that eh would grieve over his uncle, Faisal, tearing her heart apart. Ahmad was so tired out of his grief and his crying that he was crying silently and his mother would feel sorry for him because of that that she would know he does not like to be seen crying. So, he was crying silently away from everyone. He would not like to be seen crying by Anwar who would cry severely on finding him crying. Even Rakan would keep crying all the time.
Souad could not control herself when asked by Ahmad, “But mom, I promised my grandpa that I would spend the rest of the vacation with him, but how can I go to Kuwait now?! How to see him?! How can I?”
Souad could not help crying suddenly that her voice would tear hearts apart and she would grieve over her brother and anxiety about her father as well as her step-father, her family and all the Kuwaitis, even the sea, the coast, the towers, the conference palace, the club, their house in Ash-Shamiyah, Jassem’s house in Keefan and Dasman Palace that was captured.
She would feel sick at heart and she would hide her face with her hands; she would keep crying and Ahmad would get out of the room anxiously not knowing what to do. He would go to tell his father about his mother’s crying that Jassem would rise suddenly and go to her room; he would approach her and on seeing him, she would cry much more that she would hardly take her breath in suppressed agony.
Jassem would sit by her and take her into his bosom pacifying her and touch her hair in love feeling her fear that he would try to make her calm down lending her a feeling full of love to alleviate her pain to make her feel he is sharing her agonies and pacifying her.
She would calm down a little bit that she would lie on her back putting her head on the billow that she would notice those carelessly scattered credit cards by the bed. At once, she would realize the situation Jassem was encountering that she would ignore them so she would not cause him pain or embarrassment. She would try to control herself and stop crying, but she would feel completely exhausted that she would lie in her bed. She would put her head on the back of her bed unable to take her breath well s she was a slain hen.
Jassem would remain sitting in bed by her rubbing with his fingers and lips tears in her eyes kissing her face and her cheeks while he would keep looking at her in love that her heart was aware of it and it would pump hot blood into her skin that it would turn from sweet darkness into dark red.
After a while, she would calm down that Jassem would feel reassured about her and would like to go at night to check on his mother, sister, aunt and his little kids who were lying day and night waiting for news; the first one of them to do that was Ahmad who would simultaneously translate those pieces of news he would hear that they would arouse their fears and makes them more stressed and feel pain that they would turn to be patients to be treated by Jassem; each of them had to be medically cared for in a certain way.
Jassem was worried most about the case of his aunt, Abdullah’s mother, and that of his little son, Rakan that it was clear he suffered from severe distress that made him sleepless and have no appetite for food.
Jassem would rise that he was about to go back to the living room, but before he would move, Souad would hold his hand strongly pleading him to stay with her only for one minute. So, he would be astonished when Souad did so suddenly that he would look at her waiting to hear from her what she wanted to tell him. Calmly, she would say, “Jassem, please, I’ve a lot of things to tell you about, but not here. Tomorrow, we’ll go to nearby “Ricoh” Café so I can be at ease to talk to you. Please, Jassem, we’ve to go there.”
Jassem would remember that “Ricoh” Café witnessed his best rendezvous with Souad when she first came to America before they got married and after their marriage. It was the best place to go to spend their happiest times. So, he would feel more astonished, specially, in that particular stage. Souad would answer his question before he would ask it, “Please, don’t give excuses, Jassem. We’ve to go there; I can’t talk to you here. This is my only chance to talk to you. Please.”
Jassem would reply to her in astonishment that would grow more and more every time he would look at her and every time he would feel her insistence on that, “Fine, Souad go ahead. Tell me now then. There is no need for delay.” “No.”, she would say, “Not now, Jassem, I am not ready now. We’ll talk later.”
Jassem would accede to her request and would go to the living room where all family members were including Rakan who was still awake going to and fro before them and his mother all the time. They all would pray to God invoking Him to save their people and homeland from that horrific invasion and to alleviate their affliction. Laila would keep reciting verses of the Koran beseeching God to save Kuwait and its people from any evil or aggression and to make that unjust, Saddam, who did not fear Him defeated freeing Kuwait from his devilish soldiers, “Amen.”
Night would be black and awful full of doubts and uncertainty as well as fears like those accumulating in Jassem’s heart crushing it as encountered a hill of unpleasant situations that he was totally surrounded by them after his fall.
Jassem would remain sleepless all night that he could not have any rest as he was thinking all the time to find out how to handle such a situation. He would remain sleepless, perplexed and dreading what Souad was going to tell him hoping she would not talk to him about Dalal as such talk would hurt her before him and he did not want neither of them to be embarrassed.
So, he kept thinking all the time and remained sleepless till it was dawn. He would keep staring at the ceiling of the room that he was absent-minded and immersed in profound thinking that he would ceaselessly think of his expectations regarding that weird meeting that was arranged in a time that was not suitable at all.
Chapter Seventeen
The Critical Moment
A cry of extreme fear would disturb the quietness on that day; Dalal would wake up at 10:00 disturbed by explosions and sounds of planes that spread in the sky that they would fly at a low altitude producing an irritating sound arousing fear of people all over the place that it would lend a feeling that that was Doomsday and the end of days.
Dalal would get up afraid and asking about those fearful sounds taking her daughter, Danah, into her bosom embracing her strongly after she had got up crying though Dalal herself was scared and perplexed feeling worried about something she ignores; she was afraid by the sound of explosions near and far from her that that was her first time to hear such sounds in Kuwait.
She would mumble unable to move or react to that sudden feeling of fear, “What is that?!”
Within a few moments, she would go to her mother’s room, but she would not find her there. She would search for her and find her running in the house with hr eyes open widely. She would ask Dalal in fear and astonishment, “What is that, Dalal?! What’s going on?!”
She would not wait for an answer that she would run to the roof ascending the staircase quickly and then she would descend it and run quickly from one room to another not knowing what was going on and what the reason for those flames that spread everywhere was; she did not know why those great buildings all over Kuwait were being bombed.
Dalal would hardly hear the phone ringing that she would run to pick up the phone and hear the voice of her elder brother, Gamal, “Dalal, the Iraqi army has invaded Kuwait; get ready quickly; I’ll come to take you now.” Dalal would ask him in fear, “What are you saying, Gamal?! The Iraqi army has invaded Kuwait?! Why?! When?!”
Thereupon, her mother would rise as if bit by a scorpion and take the phone from Dalal to ask him again, “Gamal, what are you saying?! The Iraqi army has invaded Kuwait?! How is that?! How come?! I can’t believe it!”
She would receive the same answer he gave to Dalal that she would hasten to turn on the radio and within a few moments, she would know the whole thing.
She would cry and wail, “My mom is in the hospital; she is going to die out of fear. O mom! Your heart can’t stand that calamity. O God, my mom is going to die.”
Dalal would talk to her brother on the phone not knowing what to tell him that he insisted to take them to his house in Ediliah, but she would tell him she could not as her mother insisted to go to her mother in the hospital. Gamal would object to that saying,
“You can’t stay all alone at home without men to protect you. None knows what is going to happen; there is a tumult of confusion and you can’t sty all alone at home.”
Before she would answer him, her mother would cry that her voice would reach Gamal’s ears,
“No! I can’t go and leave my mother all alone at the hospital; I’ll go to her right now; I can’t leave her there alone.”
Dalal, her mother and Danah would hasten to Mubarak hospital where the grandmother was hospitalized after undergoing a heart surgery in her room. They did not expect that the short way from As-Salemiyah to Al-Jabiryah where the hospital was became that endless!
There would be traffic jam that cars would move everywhere and traffic lights would be of no importance that their red, yellow and green colors would be meaningless. Cars would move in the opposite direction and everyone would run everywhere; all traffic rules would be broken.
Their car would hardly go through that horrible crowd that cars thronged at fuel stations so people would fuel them and get extra metal or plastic tanks.
They could hardly reach the hospital that they all would run to the grandmother’s room that she was sleeping in her bed knowing nothing of what was going on i.e., that invasion that started a little before dawn.
Dalal would walk in the corridor to ask someone about what the patients would do in that situation, but she would find that everyone she would meet was nervously astonished as indicated by their shaking hands, voices and movements, for none would know what happened, was happening or would happen.
At last, she would meet a doctor and ask him desperately about her grandmother and she would do; she would ask him where the doctor who was caring for her to know about her health condition then and ask him if it was possible to take her home or it was necessary for her to stay in the hospital.
But before the doctor would tell her anything, Dalal’s mother would shout at her daughter objecting to her opinion insisting that her mother would stay in the hospital,
“Mom won’t leave the hospital; if she goes home now, she’ll die. She has to remain hospitalized till she would be cured.”
Amid those dreadful situations, Dalal would visualize the image of Jassem in that critical moment, for none would know what to do or what was going to happen. It was such a hateful weird sudden situation that the only thing expected was death and danger that that was usually available in such circumstances i.e., after invasion.
She felt that Jassem was her shelter for safety and security that she would cry in despair expressing her need for him,
“Where are you Jassem? Where are you?! Why did you leave me alone?”
Her bleeding heart would cry while she was walking in the corridors of the hospital that she would look at those open offices and see some nurses while there were other vacant offices that she would not know to whom she would talk or ask for the medication for her grandmother until she would encounter some doctors who reassured her and advised her not to take her grandmother home so she would be given due care as her case would not allow her to go home.
Dalal would be convinced at last of not taking her grandmother home after her feeling insecure grew that she would keep crying in pain trying to know what was going on and what was going to happen. She did not know what to do after feeling that extreme fear and needing Jassem and his existence.
Bewilderment would remain the only overwhelming thing, for that sudden ordeal made all people stunned not knowing what was going to happen or what they would do.
Dalal would keep calling Jassem that she would keep looking forward to his existence by her, specially, at those particular moments, but that was too difficult to achieve as Jassem was in America then while she was inside Kuwait that turned into a big prison surrounded by soldiers, weapons, fear, awe and death.
Dalal would shake out of fear every time she would feel Jassem was away from her in that ordeal. Indeed, she needed Jassem praying to God to make him come back, “Where are you now, Jassem?”
He was in America in Syracuse sitting in his house hall silently, absent-minded, and trying to stop his tears and grieving over Sheikh, Fahad Al-Ahmad, trying to avoid looking at those photos on the walls of the living room, among which the photo of Sheikh, Fahad Al-Ahmad, was in which he was raising the cup of the Gulf League in happiness because of that great victory Kuwait won in that decisive match with Iraq,
“O those bastards killed him; how mean!”
Jassem would look at the photos again unable to stop looking at them; he would look at his photo with Sheikh, Fahad, when he met him last Mars i.e., just five months ago, in Kuwait that he was preoccupied with those situations that hampered Gulf Leagues that they could have stopped being held forever.
In fact, the photos of Sheikh, Fahad Al-Ahmad, occupied the greatest part of his heart before occupying that great part of the wall of the living room in his house. Jassem could not forget his love for Sheikh, Fahad; here is a big photo on the wall showing how he was angry and furious during the Olympics in Seoul that he was steaming with anger which was unusual of him when Jerusalem appeared on the screens as the capital of Israel. He stood in fury like a lion objecting to and condemning that situation which was an aggression against Arabism that he did not calm down except after the organizing committee had apologized for that.
Sheikh, Fahad Al-Ahmad was such a patriot and he was an Arab champ known all over the globe, “God rest his soul!” He would feel overburdened with grief and sorrow that he would cry feeling sick at heart unable to look at the rest of the photos on the walls before him.
At that moment, the phone ringing would interrupt his painful fit irritating his heart and tearing it apart. He would answer it in a voice that he tried to make it not weak indicating his bad psychological condition, but in vain. Jassem would recognize the voice of the speaker that it was his uncle, Abu Ibraheem, who was calling them from London to ask about their condition that he, Khaled and Badr were anxious about them and they insisted all of them would gather in London to be together during that calamitous situation supporting and backing one another in such circumstances that they had never expected.
Jassem would end the phone call promising he would call them later when his mother and aunt would wake up. He would ask anxiously about the conditions of people in Ad-Dirah, but he would receive a vague answer as there are a lot of rumors and a falsification that none knows exactly what was happening in such unexpected situations.
Jassem get immersed in his thoughts feeling the steps of Souad who would approach him; he would try to wear a smile on his tired face, but that smile looked sad, weak and pale.
Souad would look at him and find him still wearing his blue sportswear as he liked blue that would remind him of his national team, the sea, the sky, homeland and freedom.
Souad would know that Jassem would like to be in blue whenever he would feel distressed; she knew it would lend him a feeling of comfort and serenity as well as calmness as it would take him to Kuwait, the Gulf street, towers in Kuwait and his friends in Kuwait; blue was the color of the Kuwaiti national team that it would remind him of the Kuwaiti courts. Souad would know Jassem looked forward to being there at that moment.
Jassem would go out with Souad walking weakly feeling overwhelmed by grief staring at nothingness suffering from a serious psychological condition; it was clear he suffered from a psychological and a nervous stress, and he was physically exhausted that he became unable to think about or stand anything.
Jassem hoped the subject Souad wanted to tackle with him would not be related to Souad and Dalal’s stance towards Laila so he would not be upset or embarrassed.
They would enter that luxurious café which classical touch and decorations would lend a feeling of ease and serenity. They would sit at a small two-person table and Souad would get her chair closer to Jassem’s that he was broken, having a distorted vision and absent-minded. His order would be a cup of Italian coffee whereas hers would be tea and breakfast food.
Jassem would be preoccupied with sipping the hot coffee waiting for Souad to start discussing that subject she wanted to talk to him about. He would look at her and find her sitting looking at him and her eyes were full of grief and agony that she was about to cry, but all of a sudden, that sad touch would vanish that it did not last for more than a few seconds that they were replaced by an expression indicating her sincere will to convince Jassem of the necessity of adjusting himself to the current situation and facing those urgent circumstances in a practical and realistic manner.
Those moments of suspense and embarrassment would be over that Souad would stop being silent and rid herself of her embarrassment while Jassem tried to busy himself with sipping the rest of his coffee trying to get psychologically ready so he would be prepared for what she was going to tell him.
Souad would search for Jassem’s eyes that he was avoiding having any eye contact with her. She would get her seat closer to the table once again to get closer to him much more. She would say in a voice expressing love, awareness and sensitivity, “Jassem, you know how much I love you. You know you are the dearest to me in this world. So, please, Jassem, give me the chance to express my feelings. Please, let’s go to the bank right now so we’d have a joint account.”
On hearing that, Jassem would feel so sick at heart though he has been expecting hearing that, but it really agitated him. He would look at the empty cup before him moving it among his fingers and all of a sudden, he would stop doing that and put his hand on its top saying to Souad,
“I’ve no problem, Souad, don’t worry about me; I’ve a lot of money and a friend of mine in the Emirates will send me some money…”
Souad would so kindly, calmly and tenderly say in a way that would not show she does not believe him,
“I’m your wife, Jassem, and my money is yours; it is ours. Please, don’t deprive me of feeling I’m backing you in this critical situation and God-willing, things will get better and be like they were before.”
Souad would say that as if she was taking his permission or apologizing so he would agree to go with her to the bank. She would keep insisting and pleading him to go to the bank visualizing those carelessly scattered credit cards by the bed which would make her feel pain and hurt her feelings. Souad would feel Jassem’s perplexity and so, she would kindly say,
“That condition won’t last for ever, Jassem, and don’t forget we are going to leave for London to be with my uncle that he will help alleviate the suffering of my mom and my aunt; hopefully, they will feel better there, specially, as Badr and Khaled are in London.”
Jassem would think quickly about that situation trying to reassess it again; he would move in his seat stretching his back and look again at the empty coffee cup. He would call the waitress so she would fix him another cup of coffee and he would ask Souad if she wanted a cup of coffee, and she would agree.
Jassem would feel he is stuck before Souad’s eyes that he would feel psychologically exhausted that there is no room for objecting to going to the bank with her.
Jassem would remember the whole conversation within himself trying to philosophize about his situations that war is war and this would always happen during wars that this is a temporary situation and man has to adapt to circumstances trying to accept the new circumstances or else he would lose a lot of dear things.
Finally, he would accede to her request and raise his head so he would Souad smiling out of her satisfaction. They would leave after drinking the coffee paying no attention to the breakfast food that none of them touched.
They would enter the bank together trying to accept that situation exercising sportsmanship and to feel that it is not that bad, for more or less, Souad is his wife and his kids’ mother that she is not a stranger; even strangers would back one another in such situations to confront its hardships and challenge circumstances, “Yes, there’s mutual cooperation to handle that urgent crisis.”
Jassem would sit before the deputy bank manager in a room signing the papers that Souad filled in and signed. He would feel obliged to smile trying hard not to reveal his inner feelings. Meanwhile he would get indulged in past memories remembering Souad when she came to America as when newly-wed that he took her to the bank and she would wait for him to tell her what she would do and where she would sign,
“O God, these are life changes; Souad then did not know the details of that application or how to fill in it, but now.”
Jassem would contemplate his present situation at that very moment trying to be much able to stand that situation so he would stand such fluctuations of feelings that had a great impact o him at that eventful moment so he would be able to have a clear vision of the situation.
He would stand feeling overburdened with nervous feelings trying to control himself much more.
All of a sudden, he would restore his ability to confront that weakness and despair that he would summon his courage to control those feelings that would hurt him severely.
He would get out of the bank standing straight raising his head, stretching his back and walking feeling he is able to challenge mountains, melt ice, cross deserts and be higher than clouds!
He would get out of the bank contemplating his own status quo focusing on his circumstances feeling he is bigger than the situation he is facing so he would make paces indicating his taking extreme pride in himself and absolute self-confidence as if telling those around him, including Souad, “I’m Jassem An-Nasser.”
Chapter Eighteen
The Awful Disfigured
In the spacious living room whose ceiling is high and whose windows are numerous that is in the apartment of uncle, Abu Ibraheem located in St. Jones Wood district in London; it is overlooking Regent Park that is near Great London Mosque which dome is golden and huge. All the family would perform the Evening prayer led by uncle, Abu Ibraheem, who prostrated himself before God beseeching Him to relieve their affliction.
Afterwards, they all sat to know more news about Kuwait listening attentively and watching it with their hearts before their ears and eyes as they were eager to know any news about the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait that has lasted for three weeks so far; they would cry and agonize over the horrible situation. They would watch how the enemy would practice dirty acts humiliating the Kuwaiti citizens in their own homeland.
The big apartment would be overloaded with feelings grief that would make them tortured and suffer all day and night that their hearts would be as if on fire of despair, grief and weakness that there would be no room for any happy feelings after Jassem had agreed with Badr and their cousin, Khaled, the fighter pilot who graduated from Air Force Academy in Sand Hurst in England, to return to Kuwait through Saudi Arabia to join the Kuwaiti resistance groups.
The situation was horrible and harsh when they left for Kuwait that the moment of farewell was unendurable that all eyes were full of tears and none controlled himself at such hard times that all were dreading the consequences of that situation as the odor of death was sensed that hundreds were to die there, “O God of heavens and earth, save us, succor us, protect us and help us.
All were in a state of grief that was shown on all faces except for Badr’s s he was able, due to his artistic talents, to wear a smile among tears that he would make others smile though sad, afraid and anxious.
Indeed, he was the only one to consider the situation a simple one handling his desire to cry through some sarcastic and funny words that alleviated the intensity of their crying.
But once the door was closed after their leaving, Abdullah’s mother would fall down on the floor by the door losing conscious. In the same moment, Jassem’s mother would lie beside her losing conscious as she also could not stand that dreadful situation that the life of the three young men were threatened.
All those surrounding both of them; even the children would cry and Abu Ibraheem would try to pacify them, but he would cry too that all he could do was to open the Koran sitting on the floor among them reading some verses to pacify them. He would keep reciting that verse, “Those who are attacked must have been made injustice and that God is capable of achieving triumph for them. Those who were kicked out of their homes unrightfully have nothing but to say that ‘Allah’ is our God. Without people’s aggression against each other, reservoirs, lands, prayers and mosques in which God is prayed much would be destroyed. God will give triumph to those who support Him. God is strong and unconquerable.”
They would calm down while the children, Ahmad, Anwar and Rakan, would remain so sad about that new situation they found themselves in that urged them to adapt to it that Ahmad has no longer been caring about going to Piccadilly Circus to play polling at Toreador or participate in the race of the wooden camels with his uncle, Badr, in the previous vacations. He has started to object to going skating at Queens Way or going on a picnic by the lake at Hyde Park.
Ahmad has turned all of a sudden into a grownup person feeling how serious the situation was and the importance of having every penny; he was keen on participating in demonstrations organized by the Kuwaiti community in London. He would seek to play a great role in liberating his homeland. So, he would insist on walking raising the Kuwaiti flags and the photos of Sheikh, Jabir, and Sheikh, Saad, in demonstrations that he insisted on joining all them.
Days would pass by in a hateful, dreadful and irritating atmosphere after the departure of the three young men. The three brothers would pray to God to save their sons and all the Kuwaitis from any harm.
On a night of those cold dark nights in London, while they were sitting by the TV, they would hear the message of his highness Kuwaiti Prince, Sheikh, Jabir Al-Ahmad As-Sabbah, that was aired to the Kuwaitis; his voice would touch their hearts making them shake as it came after one month of the Iraqi invasion that they would listen to it in love thanking God for his safety that he was not captured by the enemy, for he is the Prince, the father, the symbol, the shelter, the family and the home. He would say, “Dear Kuwaiti citizens, you who were obliged to be away from Kuwait by the current critical situations, your responsibility today is not less than that of your brothers inside Kuwait, for if you cannot help them confront that invasion, you have to prove to them and to the whole world that you are backing them with their efforts and all their abilities supporting their withstanding that invasion to achieve victory God-willing.”
They would hear him and feel touched that they would cry praying he would be granted a long lifetime and well-being, and to be safe for the good of Kuwait and its people. They would remember Sheikh, Saad, fearing for them and feeling anxious about them and then, they would remember how they felt relieved when they knew they were safe from danger away from the reach of the treacherous invaders, “Thank God.”
They would keep listening attentively to that message with all their hearts till he ends his message saying,
“Brothers and sisters, we have a steadfast belief that God, Exalted be He, has tried us by afflicting us with this current situation that he who will believe in Him and patiently work hard will assisted by God to gain triumph. I am sure He will grant you victory in the end. God, the magnificent, is the Most Truthful that He says, “Did people think that they would be left to say that they believed and not to be tempted. God tempted the previous generations. God must know those who believed Him and those who lied to Him.”
They would feel much better on learning that their Prince was O.K. thanking God for everything. Abu Ibraheem would rise to play the video tape to make sure that message was recorded so he would keep hearing it to feel supported by his voice and image that that would warm his heart that ahs felt much safer and reassured after listening to that touching message that lent them a pure feeling that that ordeal and the calamity was to come to an end that things were to be O.K. again soon God-willing.
Abu Ibraheem would sit with his sisters, Abu Abdullah’s mother and Jassem’s mother, praying to God to grant Kuwait victory and to make the Prince and the Crown Prince return home safely. Time passes and they would receive this news,
“Valiant national resistance groups escalate their attacks in operations against the Iraqi invaders undertaking a series of successful operations over the last days causing casualties among the invaders.
“God is the Greatest. God is the Greatest. God help the Kuwaitis and save them as well Kuwait from the invaders. God grant them protection and save you, for He is the Greatest Protector and Helper.” They would pray to God while their eyes would be full of tears. Meanwhile, the Kuwaiti patriotic powers inside Kuwait would call upon all non-governmental organizations and Arab nationalists to take a firm stand against the invasion of Kuwait, “God is stronger than all.”
Jassem’s mother would put her hand on her bosom pressing it praying to God crying to save her son as well as all the Kuwaiti youths from those unjust aggressors. She would keep crying saying in utmost pain and agony, “I wish we were with them to face the same danger they might face. I wish we were there among our people; that would have been much better than that suffering we are in now. O God, relieve our distress, alleviate our affliction and have mercy upon us, for You are the Most Powerful and the most Bounteous.”
They would keep praying to God much more while the case of Abdullah’s mother would rapidly deteriorate after receiving serious news about Kuwait concerning the violent conflict there. Souad would try to raise the morale of her mother and her aunt, for she has never lost hope that the homeland and her family would be saved.
Abdullah’s mother was suffering from an extreme fear making her unable to carry on or stand that dreadful exhausting anxiety that has been breaking her weak heart with the passage of time since her son was martyred and since hearing about horrors witnessed by the Kuwaitis that those who fled from Kuwait would tell them about various horrific kinds of torture, humiliation and insults encountered by the Kuwaitis there, “O God, You are the Protector, save them.”
Of course, the news they would receive about Kuwait under occupation was awful, horrific, terrific and disgusting so that sometimes, it would be unbelievable, but despite all that, it was evident that most Kuwaitis were mainly obsessed with one dominant idea i.e., those critical situations would change that it must come to an end; sure, their suffering would inevitably come to an end.
All would sit in the spacious living room surrounding one another before the heater whose red fire would spread warmth and make their limbs inflicted with the coldness of the winter of that year, for white snow would cover streets that it was such a violent winter that year; the air would be cold that it people would freeze out of their houses that warmth inside houses would be a blessing. He who would go out would be crazy as he would not survive such coldness.
A few days later, his highness Prince of Kuwait, Sheikh, Jabir Al-Ahmad As-Sabbah would address the Kuwaitis inside Kuwait and abroad relieving their distress and anxiety, and pacifying them, “From time to time, I find myself need to talk to you openly. The great sacrifices the Kuwaitis are making on confronting those aggressors will be the base from the future Kuwait will start its march.”
Acts of heroism would be all over Kuwait. Jassem’s return to Kuwait brought about pleasure and delight that made the atmosphere full of joy that it greatly pacified Dalal, her mother and her grandmother as well as all those who knew about his return. Dalal felt greatly pleased on seeing Jassem after a long time of absence; it was the best ever feeling she has had since her birth.
She would cry and jump that she would not be able to believe that she would rub her eyes wearily on seeing Jassem standing before her. She thought that was an illusion that she would cry hysterically, “Jassem, you are back in Kuwait?! You are here?! When did you come?! When?!”
She would outburst into tears out of the shocking surprise on seeing Jassem that she would keep crying unable to act or talk after his long absence fueled the fire of love much more. In fact, her happiness about Jassem’s return was unrivalled that it was beyond imagination, “Thanks God.”
His return to Kuwait was sort of an imaginary adventure that his entering Kuwait was to an easy task that only those who could enter it were those who knew secret passages i.e., those who knew Kuwait and lived in it. They would wear disguise to look like farmers and the easiest way to have an access to Kuwait was to bribe the
Iraqis; that was the safest and the easiest way to enter it, for it was known that every Iraqi officer had a “line” in desert that he was in charge of and he who would bribe him would be granted access to Kuwait amid those throngs of soldiers and weapons.
Jassem would start moving cautiously on streets of Keefan that witnessed his childhood and years of boyhood; he knew its roads and sights very well. He would know how to play his role skillfully as a doctor that he would treat those injured Kuwaitis belonging to resistance groups, those heroes who sacrificed their souls and blood for the liberation of their homeland.
Jassem would not accept to work at Mubarak hospital after it was captured by the occupation troops who made all hospitals under their control. Any Kuwaiti doctor who would refuse to obey their orders or resign himself to their wishes would be killed immediately. Thus, Jassem would perform his tasks as a doctor, but not resigning himself to their orders.
Jassem would stand in that basement at one of Keefan houses in which there is a wooden table, a few medicines, and surgery and medical equipment like muslin, cotton and antiseptics as well as all that the Kuwaiti citizens could get from hospitals and health ministry stores before the enemies would capture them.
The basement was sort of an operation theatre and Jassem would perform his tasks as a doctor utilizing the least abilities available at that time; he would perform one operation after another to stop making an injured Kuwaiti whose leg is injured stop bleeding profusely that he was shot. There was another injured Kuwaiti lying on the floor groaning because of his being shot that the bullet was still in his shoulder.
Also, many other injured Kuwaitis were etherized or lost conscious out of the severe pain as the Iraqi Special Forces has obliged all hospitals and medical centers to inform them of any injured person admitted to them to make sure of the cause of his injury that he would be considered belonging to resistance groups if he could not justify his being injured that one would know anything about him then.
The atmosphere was full of tension and danger when Dalal finished her nursing course at the seat of the Red Crescent and when she drove her car to go back to Keefan trying to get rid of dark dreadful memories that have been causing her to suffer a lot on thinking about her present life conditions; what could she do while surrounded by all that distress? How could she care for her grandmother, mother, daughter, herself and her home?!
Here she is obliged to stop on her way back home at one of the check points that the Iraqi soldier would rudely ask her about her idée card and her driving license, and where she was heading for; his severe looks would challenge her that she would do give him those papers he asked about without daring to look at him. She would bend her head looking down waiting for getting her papers he ahs taken from her that he would hold them moving round her car to see if its numbers match those on papers in his hands. The situation would intensify on asking her about her destination that she would say to him with a strong will to exercise patience and endure that situation challenging him, “I am going to the bakery to buy bread.”
At last, he would give her papers back to her giving her looks that would put an end to that silent dialogue between them. He would allow her to leave that she would drive her car breathing in satisfaction pressing her veil o her forehead making sure it was covering her neck.
She would drive her car on empty roads lacking nay spirit or feelings; they were just empty dreadful streets having no sign of life that there were only feelings of fear, suspense and anxiety. Here Keefan has become a ghost town after invaders had ruined it as was clearly shown that there was no single family who has a member or more who were not detained. Besides, there were acts of kidnap and rape, and burning, bombing and demolishing houses using explosives.
At last, Dalal would meet Jassem trying unconsciously to seek refuge in him feeling he was her shelter, but she would find him he was beside one of the Kuwaiti youths who was clearly suffering from pains that she noticed he had dark wounds on his arm and traces of black blood on the side of his neck. So she would cry silently and sorrowfully that she would lose control and balance.
She would send her look all over the basement while crying that she would notice some lines of dry blood and pieces of clothes as well as empty food cans, medical equipment, and remnants of drugs and medications beside other wastes that all that would stand for the fact that that basement ahs turned into a huge hospital, thanks to Jassem, that emergency operations would be performed to save lives of heroes of the Kuwaiti youths who opted for sacrificing their lives for their homeland.
In Dalal’s existence, she would hear some youth talking together mentioning Badr. So, she would ask about him and they would tell her that he was hiding then in a secret shelter under the ground together with Khaled, his cousin, in Ar-Ramithiyah that the Iraqis started suspecting them, specially, Khaled, that it was said that some traitors reported Saddam’s soldiers about him revealing his belonging to the Kuwaiti military that he was a pilot in the Kuwaiti air forces; so, Badr took him to make hide away from people to shelter him with some other youths belonging to the resistance group whose headquarters was there; it include Kazem, Jabir, Ali, Manawer, Abdu-Reda, Souad, Mahmoud, Abdul-Aziz and a lot of many other heroes.
All would look everywhere silently while Jassem could not waste a minute talking to Dalal as he had a hill of things to do in a little time that he was racing against hard times to treat serious cases that many people needed undergoing emergency surgeries so they would survive and stop bleeding before him.
He had to perform emergency operations to reduce casualties that the enemies’ attacks and their breaking into houses would make no room for relaxing. Dalal would feel zealous on noticing Jassem’s enthusiasm, keenness and exerting great effort on treating the injured so she would take off her coat drawing her sleeves up and start cleaning the place up collecting the wastes and the remnants of muslin whose stains of blood were on it while hearing the groaning of those injured people, but she would summon her courage and withstand that situation to carry on losing the sense of time before she would think of returning home!
She would draw nearer to her house in As-Salemiyah looking at that great rectangle including many stores surrounded by a spacious parking area. She would look at the fish shop towards the right that it was closed down; her grandmother would like to buy fresh fish from that very shop that she would be happy because it was near her house that she would not have to go to the fish market in Al-Mubarkiyah so she would not take pain to carry it all the way back home.
She would get indulged in past memories remembering those happy times when she went to buy that tart when it was last Danah’s birthday; the tart took the shape of a Mickey Mouse that she bought it from international Bakeries’. She would remember how that store was crowded and how the smell of bakeries spread all over the place. Everything inside that rectangle would arouse her feeling nostalgia that that was the toys store towards the façade of the building and its rosy sign was still there, but it has become empty after there had been a lot of toys in it, especially, that big doll that Danah loved and that she bought for her on her last birthday.
Dalal would sigh while looking again at the fish shop before she would drive her car back home that she would hope, imagine and dream that it was still open to buy her grandmother fish that she liked and preferred to other kinds of meat and chicken that she would in fact eat nothing but fish. So, she would frequent that shop almost all the time as it would prepare fish to be given to customers according to their wish immediately. “When will things be like before? When will those doors be open again and that parking area be full of cars as before?”
She would touch the medication she brought to give to her grandmother feeling reassured about that that she hardly got it from Jassem who would hardly make medications available to treat the injured people. She would thank God that she could smuggle that medication hiding it under her clothes accomplishing her task comme il faut.
Dalal would approach her house while happy about bringing that medication safely that any check point could have searched her for anything and confiscate it and even detain her and then, none would know what could have happened to her.
She would reach her house and get off the car happily and approach the outer iron door, but she would find it open. She would go upstairs quickly to find that the inner door was also open. She would hold her breath and her heart would shake on entering the hall hat she would find traces of blood all over the place!
She would cry in fear and shake saying at that dreadful moment at which she would find none home, her daughter, mother or grandmother,
“Where is everybody?! What happened to them?!”
She would freeze looking around her. She would step inside the rooms in astonishment that she would wish she would not enter them; she was about to die out of fear on hearing her mother groaning and crying that reminded her of the groaning of the injured resistance youths. So, she was about to fall down on looking at her mother’s body that she lied behind the sofa in the hall bleeding profusely; blood would come out of her mouth and nose that it was from top to toe!
She would breathe no word and feel paralyzed on noticing her grandmother lying on the floor having a broken head and injured eyes while her mother was trying to raise her injured face that she was violently beaten trying hard to open her wounded eyes that she cried severely. She would try to gather her torn clothes that would stand for her being awfully raped by those soldiers who humiliated her and violated her one by one on the kitchen floor before Danah, her granddaughter.
Once the mother would see her daughter, Dalal, she would hysterically and madly cry, “They were here!”
Dalal would shake biting hr lips till they bled; she would bit her fingers after she dropped the medication that was spilt on the floor. She would walk feeling shocked in horror and astonishment when going to her daughter’s room that she would feel extremely afraid on seeing her bed empty.
Dalal would run to the unknown desperately searching the house for her only daughter crying till her vocal cords would be torn and her voice would echo between walls, “Danah, Danah!”
Chapter Nineteen
Torture Nights
Dalal would notice her daughter, Danah, was stuck lying between the oven and the fridge in the kitchen; she would pull her and embrace her holding hr tightly between her arms hysterically crying ad shouting. Meanwhile, the little child’s eyes were widely open in fear and awe after seeing such an awful scene that she has become unable to speak.
It was such an awful, horrible and terrible; it was beyond the limits of human endurance; so, how about a little innocent child who would see soldiers abusing her grandmother violently tearing her clothes to pieces and then, rape her one by one on the kitchen floor before her?!
Indeed, it was such an awful scene that the armed soldiers stormed the house. That Danah saw them around her in the kitchen; the poor child was hungry that her grandmother went to get her some food when the soldiers unexpectedly stormed the house that they surrounded her alike wild beasts while the grandmother was sleeping as she was still sick in her room after invaders had kicked her out of the hospital before completing her medication course so the Iraqi soldiers would replace her.
The grandmother heard her daughter, Nawal, shouting and her beloved Danah crying that she felt that movement in the house and sensed what could happen then,. She strove to rise from her bed and begged them to let go of her daughter and not to rape her, but to no avail.
The old sick woman kept crying, insulting them and cursing them trying hard to prevent them from raping her daughter and tearing her clothes to pieces, but one of them felt fed up with her and beat her with his gun that she fell down dead in the hall on the floor; they killed her to get rid of her cries!
After committing their disgusting crime, they did not forget to break everything in the house, stealing everything in it and ruining those things they had not taken before leaving searching for other victims justifying their acts saying they were searching for those belonging to resistance groups.
Dalal would lean against the outer wall of the house beside her mother who was lying and her looks expressed her humiliation and sadness that even her words would be weak showing how she felt humiliated that Dalal would not be able to hear her; both would sit by the inner door of the house waiting for the arrival of Gamal, her elder brother, so her would bear responsibility for the family in stead of Dalal who was a about to faint that she was sick at heart and she looked as if she was blind trying to avoid looking at Danah who stood still like a piece of stone speechless and motionless as if she was dead and lost her childhood joy because of what she had seen.
Time would pass slowly that there would be an atmosphere of suspense that fear would arouse a lot of questions and pains. There would be utter silence when they would hear the sound of a car stopping by the house door that Gamal would jump from it gazing at his sister feeling shocked though he expected what could happen. He kept looking at her mother, Nawal, who lay on the ground in torn clothes, humiliated and wounded. Once he would turn his eyes towards Danah, he was about to lose his mind on seeing those signs of horror on her innocent face that she was not the same Danah he had known before.
He would steam with anger taking a vow he would take revenge from those beasts. An idea would sprig in his mind that it would keep being developed till he would preoccupied with it after feeling so angry and rage on knowing what took place.
Gamal would drive his sister, her mother and her daughter back home i.e., to Al-Ediliyah while Dalal would outburst into tears breaking all hearts which deepens the impact of that incident in Gamal’s soul that he would insist on taking revenge from the Iraqis. He would reach the stage of taking decision, but he would be unable to utter a single word in such a critical situation; he would be speechless or dumb crying silently without tears!
Dalal would keep watching the road behind the glass of the car; she would look at the closed toys store and remember that doll that Danah loved that she could not sleep without embracing it; she would think of returning home to get it for he, but she would try to forget about that immediately that she could not stand entering the house again after knowing what happened in it. She would not be able to look at the traces of that aggression, specially, because her grandmother’s corps was there on the floor in the hall. Such violent moments ruined her completely.
Dalal would close the car window dreading that the air would touch her mother or her daughter. She would cry again hysterically not knowing how to control her tears at such dreadful moments and hard times that would only bring about misery and ruin souls as well as houses.
“What has come over Kuwait?! What has happened to the people of Kuwait?! How can one forget about oneself and one’s agonies?! How can one feel stranger in one’s own homeland that one would feel homeless in one’s own home?! How can one be a stranger in one’s own home?! O God, have mercy on your servants!”
The enemies would scout the area searching for those belonging to the resistance group that the Iraqis would spare no effort to kill them once they would see them. Signs of their aggression in the area have recently become clearer after resistance acts had intensified that they reacted to that most violently; the number of burnt houses increased. Also, check points spread all over Kuwait.
Jassem would keep up his heroic acts saving many youths belonging to resistance groups from inevitable death healing their wounds that had they been captured by the enemies, they would no have survived! He would change his place in which he would treat people from time to time so none would report the Iraqis about him assisted by Badr who could speak various Arabic dialects and wear disguise to look like their speakers as if they were his mother tongue!
Badr would deceive the enemies as he was a talented actor and making like people that none would suspect him that he would change his appearance and way of moving or walking to look like one of those whom he wants to look like.
I fact, Badr enjoyed a unique talent of making like people making use of some forged idée cards that he would keep that they would make people believe him.
Badr would survive al dangers though he would get out frequently wearing a different disguise each time he would go out that he would prepare the necessary papers that would help him convince others of his personality using all the available abilities that would make none doubt him.
Of course, above all, Badr was so smart and cautious that he would keep a suit of an Iraqi intelligent officer of Division 606 having a forged idée card proving that; his elder brother forged it for him that he was a student at the faculty of engineering that he would do a good job in that regard.
Badr has learnt a lot of tricks, camouflage acts and how to hide that he was quick-witted on handling surprises and urgent situations; he would take decisions without being hesitant that his voice would not falter ad he would not be confused or feeling abnormal in such situations.
Meanwhile, fear would be like a ghost threatening people depriving them of feelings of safety, rest and peace of mind that all here in London were suffering from despair and pains they have encountered during those hard times that would shake their souls making them sick at heart.
All the family here in London would look forward to returning home suffering from absence and staying away from home as well as from occupying their home.
They would hope that ordeal would come to an end to feel reassured about everybody that they have received no more news about them not knowing how they would live there in Kuwait.
Abdullah’s mother would keep crying on learning about the Kuwaitis’ hailing God on the roofs of the Kuwaiti buildings on the 2nd of September praying to Him to relieve them from their affliction saying,” God is the Greatest!”
The resistance factions called for doing that calling that day, the day of grief and crying; people would praise God, homeland and the Prince when it was midday of the 2nd of September n the roofs of the houses that the Iraqi invaders reacted to that by shooting them putting them treacherously to death. They would shed their blood on the Kuwaiti land unjustly as they were innocent citizens of Kuwait.
They would feel missing their homeland that days here would pass slowly that they would feel exhausted away from home though there, they were threatened by bullets and unjust acts of aggression; the desire to participate in liberating homeland were overwhelming and controlled all.
Souad, Laila, Ahmad and Anwar would take part in a silent march after four months of occupation of Kuwait. Souad would cry, Laila and Anwar would wail, and Ahmad would cry raising the Kuwaiti flag high trying to conceal his tears and his sorrows to be a string man caring for women of his family that he was he only man left with them so he would accompany them wherever they would go after uncle, Ibraheem, had lost interest in going out that he would seldom leave his apartment; he would stay at home watching and listening to the world news all day and night even if they were in languages he would speak or not!
The weather was cold there that it was freezing outside; the trees lost their leaves and their branches were but huge wooden lifeless arms. That year, winter in London was so harsh, gloomy and too cold as well as grayish enhancing feelings of agony, pain, loneliness and absence as well as suffering away from home, its land and its sand; pain was beyond compare.
They would return home exhausted and crying wearing emblems stressing the freedom of Kuwait that their love for Kuwait was in their heart and so were desires to return to Kuwait.
Souad would be surprised to know that her mother was still angry as they refused to let her take part in that national march after she had insisted on participating in that simple patriotic act that that was what all she could do then; what consoled her was that her sister, Jassem’s mother, stayed with her that she tried hard to convince her of changing her mind out of her fearing that she would be tired, exhausted and agitated that she could have harmed her heart.
Abu Ibraheem would console her saying, “I bet you would have felt exhausted, Abdullah’s mother, for it was quite a distance to go among all that crowds of people that were about ten thousand Kuwaitis who participated in that march. Come on, you could not have endured that. All people were there; all the people from the Gulf countries living in London were there. All news agencies and Arab reporters were following up that march. The English police was on both sides of that March that the crowd was like that that would be on the Day of Resurrection that we were afraid for you, Abdullah’s mother. Please, don’t be upset; we didn’t mean to make you upset.”
Abdullah’s mother would not calm down despite all those justifications and excuses that she would feel wronged as they forced her to stay at home while she was insisting on participating in that march that she kept feeling angry that none would know how to make her calm down. All were unable to pacify her, even her brother, Ibraheem, that she did not accept his apologies for that unpremeditated mistake that he made out of his love for her and caring for her as well as for her health.
She was crying praying to God to make her go back to Kuwait and to her house there with her husband and her children. She would cry saying, ”Take me back to Kuwait; I don’t want to stay here. I want to be in Kuwait. Think of a way to take me back there. I’ll go there in the same way Badr, Jassem and Khaled went there. Just take me back there and leave me alone. Just let me go there; I am bored with London and its cold weather.”
The real problem they were facing then was how to make Abdullah’s mother calm down that all appreciated her grieving over her martyred son Major, Faisal, the police officer. All would know how sad she felt that she could not stand living in such hard circumstances away from home feeling having lost her homeland, her family, her and language and homeless that she could not speak English or interpret the news. Moreover, that freezing weather would harm her all the time that her pones would pain her. Her psychological pains increased as well that it got harsher, harder and more grievous; it would escalate whenever she would watch the news and the atrocities committed there in Kuwait.
With the passage of time, the temperature degrees became below zero that winter got wilder and unbearable; leaving for any Arab Gulf country has become crucial at that moment. It was logical to choose Saudi Arabia where their people were that it was close to the road leading to Kuwait that it would be used by those who survived agonies of the Iraqi invasion and aggression. There, they would be close to those stuck inside Kuwait so they would contact them.
They would get ready for leaving London; it was rather difficult to leave that time without having Jassem with them that they used to have him with them all the time. His mother cried so much and so did his sister, children and aunt. As for his wife, her tears came from her heart when they were seated on board the Saudi plane flying to Al-Riyadh. Meanwhile, Abu Ibraheem would make sure they were all seated and then, he would be seated too. The plane would land at Al-Riyadh Air Port where they would feel the heat of longing to going home and the warmth of safety as well as peace of mind; they felt keen to know anything about those dear absent people that their news were leaked to them by those refugees who fled from the hell in Kuwait.
All the family would head for Intercontinental Hotel where there were a lot of people from Kuwait who were gathered together due to their ordeal that made them unite. Their major concern was hoping and praying to God that He would restore their usurped land to them and knowing the news of the Kuwaitis who were with them and those inside Kuwait.
Indeed, the situation inside Kuwait was horrible and so awful that it was unbearable. Dalal arrived at her father’s house in Al-Ediliyah that Gamal would immediately tell his brother, Adel, about what happened at her house. Thereupon, Adel would take some of the youth belonging to resistance groups to head for her house in As-Salemiyah to take her grandmother’s dead body to be buried before the Iraqi soldiers would make it among other hundreds of dead bodies that would not be buried that they would be accumulated in the Skating Hall.
Adel would push the outer door of her house and go upstairs. Then, he would enter the hall searching for Dalal’s grandmother’s dead body in where at the place she told him about, but he would stand still in astonishment as if he turned into a tone statue!
There was no dead body there; there was another horrible thing at that place that he never expected to see it!
Chapter Twenty
Underground Disco
Adel and his company entered Dalal’s house to find instead of the dead bodies many armed soldiers who were waiting in silence in an ambush that was set for those who came to bury the corpse.
The Iraqi soldiers knew that those who were intending to bury the corpse wouldn’t hesitate to come, for they would come as soon as possible to undertake this mission which was considered a criminal act, by the Iraqi soldiers that would break the law that should be implemented without delay.
Indeed, they were expecting that the so-called devils would come at that time to take the dead body away so as to bury it, though those devils were defying the clear orders of the leadership that prohibit burying the dead, so, they deserved the most severe of punishments and torture.
The surprise made Adel and his company of the national resistance shocked; hence, they stood still in their places as the surprise made them unable to think and thus, they were unable to move a muscle.
Unfortunately, the heroes were captured in that ambush and they were arrested, consequently they were subjected to a brutal and fierce torture so that they would confess and guide them to the rest of those who participate in riot acts and resisted the authorities.
The process of torture lasted for many hours, all day and all night. Hence, Dalal’s house turned to be a place of torturing for whose brutal acts inanimate objects of the house like walls would feel sorry when the sounds of screams and the moans of pain would be heard. The house turned from a peaceful place to be a place of torture where the dirtiest kinds of torture and humiliation take place.
The most brutal of tools and methods of torturing were used that would humiliate humans’ humanity, crush his humanity and make humans unable to resist or be patient and stand the pains; they had many cables, robes, spears, sticks, and military knives and so many tools.
The valiant youth of resistance fell under the control of the dirty unjust hands, and they were suffering, screaming and moaning after they were subjected to methods of torture and humility unbearable by humans and which no human being or even animal can stand.
Afterwards the youth were transferred to the main place for torturing in a police station in Hawli Square in the underground floor that they called “The Disco”. In that place there were a huge number of torturing tools like the electrified stick, the electrified drill, the electric wires in addition to Saddam’s electrified picture that the arrested youth were forced to kiss, thus, the arrested youth would shiver, fall and hit the earth hard; they would fall on the earth due to the severe pain and the brutal torture.
Dalal knew the news, and she screamed and her heart was being tortured, for sure, and it was really grieved over her brother and his company of the resistance, those gallant youth who went to bury her grandmother’s body and were arrested by the those unjust invaders.
Dalal shivered out of fear expecting that she would be arrested at anytime from that time on, because she, along with Jassem , would be among those in the list of those they want to arrest as well as the rest of the youth who were members of the same group of resistance.
That was why she stood immediately, jumped and started to move quickly to Kifan as fast as she could as it was the place where she could hide away from those who would chase her and look for her, meanwhile, her elder brother Gamal would plan for many revenge operations to avenge what happened to his sister and her family as well as what happened to has happened lately to his brother and his company.
The acts of resistance accelerated, meanwhile, the tries to quell and smash those acts grow tougher, thus, violent methods of quelling knew their ways to those believing, kind hearts that were defending their lands with an absolute belief and unshakable faith in their great right in liberating Kuwait and ridding their country from that evil, and unjust aggressor.
Places were set to fire, oppression increased, aggressive acts increased and the resistance increased, too, for despair would never find a way in life, the resistance youth would never condone oppression and they would never accept that imposed reality, rather, they would resist the invaders under whatever conditions and whatever circumstances.
Meanwhile, the aggressors’ unjust acts exceeded their limits, they practiced brutal acts, and they continued their atrocious crimes, their aggression, and their humiliation against those kind people and this peaceful land. A very gloomy period as dark as the night passed and there had been no news about the folks; no one knew what happened or befell them. Each day they would expect some of the youth of the resistance out of Kuwait to reassure them and bring news about their families, and Souad might know anything about those inside Kuwait through secret messages or through wireless contact.
The media blackout increased and the news was not known to Souad, Laila and their mothers who were in a bad condition for since the first days of the invasion, their fear for their relatives has become like fierce beast that was eating them. Souad tried to forget about the reality that was torturing her, namely, that Jassem and Dalal have become together since Dalal had joined the same group of resistance headed by Jassem.
Souad started thinking about Jassem’s attitude towards Dalal and even his attitude towards herself, but she would not breathe a word as she was helpless and for she knew she could do nothing in such hard and unexpected circumstances, thus, she submitted to the reality and her circumstances. So, she let time make her go through hard circumstances as it wished. But she tried as much as she could to ignore the feelings of jealousy and anger and to forget about the feelings of rage, servility and humility that she suffered because the circumstances of occupation and the invasion of one’s country requires that everybody should be above their own feelings, and emotions.
Souad busied herself with talking to Laila about Naïf and how he agreed with her uncle Abu Ibraheem that they would not stay even for one night in the hotel anymore, so, she told her, “My uncle told me that we are moving tonight to Naiad’s house in Saladin neighborhood, and he agreed after Naïf had told him that he and Jassem settled that after returning from London, they would stay at his house, so, there is no need to stay at the hotel.” “When will we leave the hotel?” “God willing, we will do tonight, Laila. What I knew from my uncle is that they would come tonight to take us with them for my uncle said they had a special villa for men and another for women.”
In the evening, right after Sunset Prayer, Naïf came with his mother and sisters; Mazna, Noura and Masha’el to the hotel where they were received and welcomed by Abdullah’s mother, Jassem’s mother, Souad and Laila, while Naïf was sitting with uncle Abu Ibraheem in his private room, then they went down together and Abu Ibraheem paid for their stay at the hotel.
Then they moved to the luxurious house in Selah Al-Din neighborhood, and on seeing the swimming pool, Ahmad, Anwar and Rakan rejoiced very much as they knew they would swim here without certain periods for children and without a nanny accompanying them, though their mother would not allow them to swim without supervision.
Naïf told Uncle Abu Ibraheem that he would have to stay at the military hospital all day and night for the country was in a state of emergency. He also told him that he would not stay at the house at all, however, his father would stay at the house to answer their needs, and so, Abu Ibraheem thanked him for the bottom of his heart saying in a confident tone, “Do not worry about us, Naïf. Take care of yourself and of what you are assigned to do, may God help you.”
Naïf, then, introduced Abu Ibraheem to his father who welcomed the former and received him with open arms saying smilingly, “Welcome, Abu Ibraheem. Feel at home. You are very welcome here, it is we who are your guests and you are our hosts. Welcome.” Thus, Abu Ibraheem replied while laughing, “We are in our country; this is as if our house, we are all one family and we are no strangers.”
In the following day, Abu Ibraheem left for Cairo after making sure that the women were safe and that they were staying with a peaceful company as his wife and his two daughters; Siham, Manal and their children have been there since Ibraheem joined people’s army which was camping in Hafr Al-Baten.
Abu Ibraheem met his life-time friend, and his schoolmate, Abu Gamal who came to visit him and knew about the latest news about Kuwait and to ask him if he knew anything about his relatives there in Kuwait, so, they were absorbed in a long talk about the conditions and the crisis of Kuwait.
After a while, Abu Ibraheem and Abu Gamal went to a coffee shop in Sphinx square in Al-Mohandeseen where they sat to exchange their views and expectations regarding the political situation, then many Kuwaiti people who were residing at this time in Cairo joined them in their talk.
Abu Ibraheem was reassured that Abu Gamal’s conditions were alright, and knew from him that the Kuwaiti staying in Cairo were O.K. and that they were gathering to arrange their affairs, solve their problems, follow up with the latest news about their homeland, arrange meetings with high officials to present their views and call for putting an end to the oppression that the Kuwaiti people are subjected to and to liberating their homeland, as the Kuwaiti community in Cairo has an important, effective and active political role and the officials of the embassy spared no effort to offer all the needs and aids for the Kuwaiti citizens.
The boring hours of the night passed slowly while the Kuwaiti brothers who were joining the gathering were flowing in a very fast way, so, they started to discuss matters related to the political situation and expectations about the end of this crisis while they were suffering the bitterness of these cruel circumstances, the painful feelings, oppression, suppression and while they were worry, so, they were absorbed in following the TV news while orders of coffee, tea, shisha, and snacks were delivered to people around them.
Meanwhile, both Abu Gamal and Abu Ibraheem who was sitting next to him along with others saw President Mubarak stressing a fact for the world in a press conference that was aired through the international means of media, and broadcast by the T.V in front of them. They heard him stressing the full withdrawal of the Iraqi forces from Kuwait; he was saying, “The entire world agreed with us on the peaceful efforts to end the Gulf Crisis while continuing the military preparations.”
Abu Gamal was lost in thought for a moment in which his soul was hovering over the skies of Kuwait and his house and children in Al-Ediliyah.
.
And he sighed contemplating his status while being away from them and far from his children; Gamal, Sana’a, Adel and his daughter Dalal that he hadn’t seen for a long time or known anything about her conditions, so, he felt something aching in his chest while thinking about them and he was stricken by a kind of worry that would suddenly shock him with an unknown fear about their destiny that would obsess him, panic him, after he had heard about the atrocities that happened to citizens there in Kuwait.
At the same moment, in Kuwait, Dalal was perplexed, confused and found herself weak and lonely in that hard situation she was facing and that caused distress and exhaustion for her; she knew not how to react to the hazard that was obsessing her all the time. She did not know either how to protect herself against that danger or how to avoid it, while seeing the desire in the eyes of those looking at her, specially those of the Iraqi soldiers who had control over points of control and who were deployed everywhere, This was the case though Dalal was keen to hide what would show her femininity after forgetting totally about make up and about caring about her appearance in whatever way.
In the course of time, the circumstances grow harder and harder, and a curfew was imposed, and that resulted in the decrease in the acts of the fighting resistance, the underground work that included looking for families, helping the needy families, receiving financial aids and distributing them to families, burning garbage, and burying the dead as well as many of the effective acts that were considered a kind of the positive national resistance.
Despite the cruelty and atrocity of quelling acts, the citizens did not stop resisting, though the policy of torture increased in a horrible way to the extent that clubs and arenas turned to be places of torture where the arrested would sit in wide circles inside the playgrounds and they would be tortured one by one in front of everybody so that both the ones who were tortured and those watching would be affected.
However, Gamal did not stop the resistance, he was not deterred by anything and nothing feared him or stood in his way to defend his homeland. Thus, he participated in bombing the center of trucks that resulted in the death of many soldiers of the enemy and this was right after succeeding with Badr in freeing and saving about 70 Kuwaiti people from one of the prisons of the Iraqi forces in Safwan; among those people were Abdul Naby, Khaled and Ali who were set free, thanks to God, ad returned to Kuwait in peace along with the group that carried out the operation. Also, there were Hamad, Nasser, and Kazem among them who managed to save a lot of the captives and free them. Thank God, may God bless the hands of the gallant sons of the country.
In fact, nobody was treated specially by the special forces of Saddam who were close relatives of Saddam who were sent after he feared that the Iraqi army would turn on him, and so, many high-ranked officers were executed as they were condemned of rejecting invading Kuwait.
There were many officers in the Iraqi army who were rejecting and refusing to obey the military commands issued by Saddam Hussein that were ordering them to commit atrocious crimes and thus, a state of chaos spread among the officers, that was why Saddam reinforced the republican forces with these special forces whose members have close relations with him and his family, so, they would supervise the execution of whatever immoral or inhumane orders.
That was why whenever the Kuwaiti resistance would increase to defend their homeland, the quelling would increase and that resulted in the capture of many by the aggressors who did not hesitate to harm them, torture them, kill them and mutilate their dead bodies after torturing them before their families, their relatives and preventing burying them. O God! Help us be patient.
It was normal then that the psychological and physical burden would increase on Jassem who looked exhausted after he had lost a lot of weight, and health conditions were really deteriorating in Kuwait to the extent that the 37th Conference of East Mediterranean of the World Health Organization expressed its fear about the deteriorating health conditions in Kuwait and stressed that the invasion of Kuwait caused a great deterioration of health care for those residing in Kuwait and caused a deterioration of health conditions in general and this represented a naked violation of the constitution of the World Health Organization.
Everybody could realize the signs of weakness and exhaustion that appeared on Dalal, too, for she was not sleeping enough and was not eating enough, too; she was only thinking how to resist and take revenge.
Indeed, she wanted to revenge for her country and for her raped mother that was about to go out of her mind. She wanted to revenge for her grandmother that nobody knew anything about her till that moment; whether her body was buried or she was in a comma, as her mother said, then woke up, went out to look for them haphazardly but lost her way, or whether she was captured, tortured, raped whether dead or alive.
Dalal was not at ease, and she would be torn when she would remember the scene of her mother when the blood was flowing from her mouth till it wet her feet, and the scene of her grandmother and the blood that was coming from her head to hide the features of her face and her chest. Here, Dalal remembered the bloody scene with all its horrible details, so, doubts were raised inside her about the veracity of her mother’s accusation that her grandmother hadn’t died yet and was still alive. Dalal sought refuge in God from the accursed Satan who was depressing and hurting her by arousing those doubts, as her grandmother’s eyes were wide-open and death was really manifest in them.
Dalal was very distressed after her daughter’s health conditions deteriorated and that caused her a severe psychological illness that caused her a speech impediment, psychological disorder, behavioral problems and she would even wet her bed. Thus, a psychiatric was badly needed, but this was impossible under such deteriorating health conditions.
Similarly, Jassem’s work as a doctor was very hard or rather impossible for the amount of medicines was reducing so much that a surgeon could not work. Also, the substances needed and the equipment needed to do medical operations reduced regularly. Though Jassem managed in cooperation with his fellow doctors to get a considerable amount of medicines, the amount reduced gradually.
These bad health conditions were not unknown to the men of the government who asked the United Nations to send in urgent medical aids to save the sick in Kuwait who were dying due to the lack of medicines after having full control over the hospitals that were sacked and whose medicines and equipment were stolen.
The conditions were really deteriorating and psychological pains were really severe, for the playground in which Jassem played and in whose lights Jassem ran turned to an arena for torturing masses of people, and the ways leading to it were controlled by control points that were 100 meters away from one another and were provided with all kinds of weapons even RBJ guns.
The situation became harder and harder, so, the feeling of imminent danger obsessed everybody’s heart, as little movement would make them afraid of being attacked and killed and torturing needs no further elaboration after it exceeded all the limits.
That was why Dalal was torn between two things, for she was thinking about returning to al-Ediliyah to make sure that her mother and her two daughters were O.K. but she hesitated for she wanted to stay with Jassem to encourage him to continue his work in which he needed her, especially after his burdens and responsibilities had increased and after he had become an example of resistance and after being a hero, a brother to her and a dear friend that she wished to stand by in those hard times and in this ordeal; she didn’t want to let him down at the time he needed her most.
Indeed, this was a hard situation, but what was harder is taking the decision before the curfew would take place and it was imposed on everybody with the coming of the night. While Dalal was thinking of going home regardless of the dangers of her arrest after her brother was captured, and while she was confused and hesitant she sighed deeply in silence and panic, as she was retreating, hit the wall hard, found the door of the crypt being opened quietly and found one of the officers of the Iraqi military forces coming in.
Dalal raised her hand to shut off a panic scream that was about to go out of her mouth, while putting her other hand on her heart for she knew what would happen to them then and knew their destiny, however, she started to shout rejoicing immediately, “Badr, Badr. You scared me to death. I thought you were one of them, I thought you one of them.”
Badr shut her off by a sign of his hand speaking in a very low voice, strained and worry and addressing Jassem in a way that everybody would hear him, “Come on, hurry up. They are going to besiege the whole area. They are searching for you. Come on, hurry up.”
Jassem looked around and his forehead lines were thick and his fingers were frozen handling the lancet with which he was taking the bullet out from the shoulder of one of the youth of the resistance; he stood torn between continuing the operation or escaping, but before moving an inch, everybody heard the sound of a military jeep stopping before the house and Iraqi soldiers got down from it and this was known from their dialect and the sound of weapons.
Dalal stood against the wall before she fell down on the floor due to her extreme fear and panic while her eyes were popping out in fear of would await her on the hands of those soldiers who were trained on killing and torturing.
Jassem stood still, his facial expressions changed and his fingers froze, meanwhile, darkness prevailed, the air was not moving, and breath sopped while the feet of the soldiers were hitting the stairs that lead to the crypt hard and violently making a horrible sound as that of the clash of collapsing mountain that was cracking.
Chapter Twenty-One
The Grandson of the Martyr
Badr turned around and jumped the stairs very fast and shouted at the soldiers in a perfect Iraqi dialect saying, “Come on, back on, the saboteurs have escaped. They are not there. Catch them before they would go to another shelter.
Badr look at the driver in a very frightening way saying in an ordering tone, “Come on, back on.”
The soldiers darted with the car in obedience to the order of the intelligence officer of the Special Forces whose orders cannot be disobeyed. The car moved at top speed to catch up with the escaping saboteurs without knowing which way to take, and without knowing who those chased escaping saboteurs are. Jassem took a little round with the car and returned under the cover of midnight, so, he went to the crypt to help Jassem and Dalal with moving the injured to his GMC car with the military plates after he had assumed being the officer of the murdered Iraqi intelligence whose ID was forged by Abdullah and whose clothes Badr was wearing.
Abdullah, Badr’s brother, perfected forging IDs and he would make typical ones of the original. In this he was helped by his good training on drawing geometrical lines and perfecting technical drawings that he had used to do since he joined the Faculty of Engineering in Boston, the USA. In fact, he faced no difficulty in forging any ID, so, Badr had a lot of Ids of different nationalities, and he would use them the way he liked; this helped him a lot to disguise and assume any character he wished, and Badr had a natural talent in acting that required no effort from him or any assumed act.
Indeed, it was impossible that he would be discovered or that doubts would be raised about him, because the changes he would apply to his voice, his movement, and the way he talked made of him a duplicate of the character he was assuming.
In addition to having this talent, ability, being agile, witty, and intelligent, Badr had other weapons to use the most important of which was this humorous spirit and his ability to handle critical situations, let alone that he was mastering Judo, Karate and Taykundo.
Badr chose one of the burnt buildings that he previously located and took them to it. He left them inside in silence and tranquility, then he hit the roads so that the car sopping before the building would not indicate that there was someone inside the building. But he left after promising Jassem and assuring Dalal as well as the youth of resistance that he would not stay away for a long and that as soon as the siege would be over and the soldiers would be away, he would seize the first opportunity to return to them to take them from that collapsing shelter to a cleaner and more arranged place, but they had to wait until the soldiers would leave the area and go away.
This was the only solution Badr had; he had to hide them away temporarily in that burnt and destroyed building that was bombarded by the soldiers using the RBJs days before and whose appearance would not indicate that there was anybody inside, for Kifan was besieged at that time and the whole area was under siege, then the Iraqi soldiers started to search for the youth who took part in the resistance inside the area after they had been informed about the so-called sabotage acts of those youth, thus, they had to be patient and bear with that until the search would be over and the soldiers would return.
This was not the only building to be burnt, rather, there were many other buildings that were attacked after the aggressive soldiers had attacked the whole area and brought everything upside down to the extent that they used the lampposts in the streets to hang the dead bodies of the heroes over them after hanging them.
Dalal kept inside the hiding while shivering out of fear for the place was very dark there, it was an awful place, and the traces of fire blackened the walls, the floor.
The furniture was littered in total chaos as if the pieces of furniture were mere ghosts stirring the feelings of panic and horror inside her heart. It was as if she was watching
a scene in one of the thrillers where the audience were expecting Dracula to show up in the dark to show them his two white fangs covered in red blood after sucking the blood of his victims taking their lives away.
It was a horrible situation, for the sound of the cars’ tires that were moving in a mad speed crossing the street would make her panic, and Dalal would burst into tears while retreating in fear to hide behind the remnants of a burnt seat and while she was about to blackout out of fear as her imagination was hovering over her orphaned daughter, her sick mother, and her family in Al-Ediliyah who did not know about her place or her destiny.
At that crucial frustrating moment, Jassem was standing to the wall watching the way with one eye so that no one would notice him after he had heard the sound of one of the armored cars that was roving the streets searching the resistance youth and that stood close to the house were they were hiding.
A minute after another passed in peace, so, everybody with Jassem started to feel that the danger was about to be over, but the whole situation was really shaking Dalal and leaving a deep impact on her and amid all this psychological and physical exhaustion she remembered her dream that was not realized, so, all the events of her life would be brought again to her mind on one go, thus, she would be distressed by the pains of the past years she suffered, then, she would bear the burden of the past with all its worries as well as its frustrations and she would bear the burden of the future and its dangers and instability, hence, she would await in sadness the vague future of tomorrow that has no characteristics.
In fact, Dalal was despaired and impatient after discovering that the feelings of her and Jassem had become strange; those feelings were feelings of kindness, sympathy, friendship but they were not of being fond of him or of longing for him, or even of love by no means. Indeed, it was not love, but there was another amazing unknown and strange feeling. This kind of feeling came after the circumstances had changed the feelings and after the emotions had been affected by the events and after the frustrating conditions had made another woman of Dalal that differed from Dalal that she knew. This feeling came to be after the difficulty of the then new conditions had affected Jassem and made of him a symbol of the resistance ad made of him one of the youth of the resistance who harbored feelings of sacrifice and selflessness and who were ready to sacrifice anything for the sake of their country.
Suddenly, all these feelings were mixed deep inside Dalal, and it was as if her fears appeared amid the darkness to hover over her as if they were ghosts, thus, her body would shiver and shake and she could not help stopping her tears that started to flow while she was crushed by the feelings of insignificance, and deficiency that made her feel that she was like a street cat that had no shelter or any safe place to stay at or anything in specific.
Dalal burst into tears looking for something that would reassure her while all her body was shaking due to the impact of the situation and the effect on her that indicated that she would lose control over herself and that she would lose the ability to control her nerves and strike a balance. Thus, Jassem moved towards her carefully, in fear and leaving his place in silence trying to soothe her lest her case would deteriorate and she would go through a hysterical paroxysm that would drive her to cry and scream, thus, she would attract the attention of others to them, and they would become history then.
Jassem approached her but he was perplexed and confused, so, he stood still, hand-tied not knowing what to do tore assure her and drive away her fears so that he would spare their lives and hers, however, he remained unable to do anything at all. At that, a voice of an injured young man of the resistance who was lying on the floor came like a heavenly ray from the sky that brightened the darkness of the night up, and that provided the hearts with security, safety, and faith to drive away fear and that cruel moment. This nice, loud voice of the young man echoed with verses from the Glorious Qur’an: “The Verse of the Throne”
At that, God granted them calmness and tranquility, so, security, comfort, and safety prevailed, thus, Dalal was comforted, was at ease and distress, hysteria, and the circumstantial feelings of weakness and feebleness were driven away. She thanked God who drove away those depressing heavy feelings which were crushing, destroying, and making her afraid to death. She was mumbling while she was closing her eyes due to the exhaustion that she was eaten by and that was weakening, destroying and crushing her and was saying, “Praise be to God, and thank God. Do not worry about me Jassem. I am O.K., I am O.K. Thank God.”
Jassem then returned to say in low voice that was full of confidence, “The tougher the conditions are the sooner matters will be better. God willing, things will be bettered Dalal. Surely, the crisis will be over. Bear with it, Dalal, bear with it. You are as tough as men, sister.”
At this moment, Dalal felt that she became as if a sister to Jassem and to all those young heroes with her. She became a very dear and honored sister to them and she would be revered and respected by all everybody there, so, she kept quiet and she was comforted.
Jassem reassured himself about Dalal’s case and stood looking in sorrow and grief to all the youth lying on the floor injured with their wounds that were still bleeding and the ashes and dust would stick to their bodies making the wounds subject to be dirt and endangering their lives by the hazard of death. Jassem was being eaten by the feeling of rage and resentment while being unable to do anything to save or help them in such a hard situation.
Actually, Jassem could do nothing at all but to think about his family specially his children that he was longing to see them and worried about them as if he died, how they would be raised as orphans. He had a burning desire to see them and make sure that they were alright, for he knew they would suffer a lot due to his absence and because of worrying about him. He knew that his son Ahmad was intelligent, witty and sensitive and he knew he was suffering as any of the youth due to the grave events and maybe more.
At that time, Ahmad was in Riyadh and he was wiping his tears trying to be himself once more and trying to keep steadfast a little while he was talking to his grandmother, mother of Jassem, about his father, “I wonder where my father is now. I am very worried about him and I wish I could see him.”
His grandmother was really affected to see sadness in his face, so, worries started to arouse inside her about her so and feelings of sorrow over her husband, thus, she started to weep bitterly. She kept weeping while Ahmad was being torn for he was longing to return to home to see his father, grandfather, uncles and to go home to spend the weekend with uncle Abdullah’s daughter, and his cousin Mansour, his dear and beloved friend.
Anyway, days passed so slowly; waiting was very hard, feelings of fear were terrible, and worry was as if a wild beast devouring their souls though they were staying in silence at the house of Naiad’s family in Salah Al-Din’s neighborhood in Riyadh while Ahmad, Anwar and Rakan were playing with Mudhna’s children, Noura’s daughter, and they were playing all the day in the swimming pool.
Mudhna, Noura and Masha’el were really very nice with them and welcoming as well, while Masha’el was engaged and was, most of the time, busied with talking to Laila about her future life with her fiancée as they were full of love, passion and were expecting their happy wedding right after the end of the crisis, God willing.
The two girls had their private conversations and their own views about the nice life after the end of war, God willing. Mashae’l used to try to alleviate Laila’s sorrows and drive away her fears by talking about Naïf and her fiancée to divert her thoughts so that she would not think a lot about the conditions of the crisis that would break her heart and torture her.
In fact, Naiad’s sisters were very nice to Laila; they were tied to her, loving her and they liked her noble morals, her taste and her tenderness but they would be grieved very much and pity her when they would see her crying over her father and weeping because of her hard circumstances that made her worried about her brother, her family and about the conditions that would decide the way her life would be.
Naif’s father was unseen and nobody would see him as he was living at men’s wing; he used to sit in the spacious room of his library that contained thousands of books whether in Arabic or in English. He would be busied with reading, offering prayers and reciting the Glorious Qur’an and invoking God that this crisis would over.
They were very tough days for everybody; women were dressed in black and they were waiting for anything new. All the time, Mudhna, Noura, and Masha’el would support mothers and soothe them but each of the mothers was suffering for they could not sleep a wink or eat as their worries became unbearable.
Souad was not grieved or suffering less than others, as she was eaten by sadness and she was about to lose her mind after the crisis had lasted longer and the circumstances and conditions had been confused and after the conditions had juggled with feelings of fear, panic, terror and worry. Souad started to feel that life became to her like a fierce battle whose battlefield was the hearts and the chests where the feelings of love were mixed with war.
Indeed, this was a fact, for the events were beyond the ability of humans and individuals could do nothing about them; neither she, Jassem, nor Dalal could do anything, so, Souad could not expect who would be the winner at the end of the race of this war, who would win Jassem’s heart, and who would be the loser at the end and vanish from Jassem’s life for good. In fact, Souad did not have the answer for this question.
Just like burning fire, the tears of Souad were flowing across her cheeks and they would hurt her very hear, for she could not express her feelings of love, jealousy, wrath and anger. This silent anger of hers she could not express or let out, because she would be shy of speaking with anyone or even breathing a word about this issue specially in those hard circumstances, for this was not the proper time. She knew that very well, so, she was burning with those feelings by herself and on her own.
The night passed just like other night, along with the sorrow, and pain that were destroying Souad, so, her body would suffer as well as her soul that would hide her wounds in the night. The night passed as any of the nights that accompanied Souad in her loneliness, and along with her sorrows, longing, love, and moaning while she was staying awake in night as she would be sleepless not knowing what to do to console herself with and not knowing how to put out the burning fire deep inside her heart.
Souad had surrendered to the cruel reality in silence and tranquility since the horrible ghost of war had obsessed everybody, and affected her own life by separating her from her husband unwillingly, and drawing him closer to Dalal, her rival in his love and who was drawing nearer to him in tenderness having the deadly weapon of her love for Jassem, her burning desire to have him and her persistence to be close to him. Nothing in this world would repel her or drive her away as she knew well how to make use of all situations and circumstances. Indeed, Dalal even knew how to benefit from the circumstances of war and made use of them to get closer to Jassem and to be next him more and more.
Souad was lost in thought while the feelings of sorrow and helplessness were deep inside her as she was counting the days, nights, and the very long months that passed while Jassem was away from her having Dalal near to him after the war had affected her heart and interfered in shaping her feelings after being sure that Jassem, her husband, and her beloved was most of the time with Dalal, there in their homeland an away from her. Thus, Souad flied with the wings of her heart to hover over the skies of Kuwait with her soul to look for her husband but she did not know his hereabouts, so, her worries and fears increased and she felt more insignificant.
The news started to leak about the disturbance of security inside Kuwait to the extent that Sheikh Saud Al-Sabbah the ambassador of Kuwait to the U.S.A urged the General Assembly of the U.N to pass a an international criminal code by which crimes like the Iraqi invasion to Kuwait could be condemned. He also said that the Iraqi invasion aims at the termination of Kuwait and this necessitates a code.
But despite all that, no one like Salem, the one who was known for being generous, gallant, and loyal would turn a blind eye to his brothers when they would be in an ordeal. Thus, he tried to help them and donated some of his money to help alleviate the pains of the families and the friends. He even did the same with the foreigners who were hiding in fear of Saddam’s soldiers; they were hiding in some houses that Salem and his friends knew very well. They were providing them with money, food and water, and helping them to stay and survive until the circumstances would change.
In fact, the Kuwaiti national resistance was not only confined to the youth only, rather, it was the responsibility of all the men whether the young or the old of them, and even the children. Indeed, those young boys had a role that cannot be ignored. The acts of resistance were not the responsibility of Abdullah and Badr alone but their fathers took part in the resistance, too. Thus, Salem, the kind, nice and peaceful man turned to be a hero of the resistance and his sacrifice was no less than that of his two sons, he was not less enthusiastic and he exerted no less effort, too.
Actually, Salem was responsible for providing some staff inside Al-Shamiyah, Al-Mirkab, and other surrounding neighborhoods. Men there noticed the great role played by him even with the foreigners or the hostages, for they noticed that he tried to help them and support them spontaneously, quickly and in a very great way.
The role played by Salem attracted attention to him and it aroused suspicions about him for the money that he was providing for the youth and that helped in intensifying the civil disobedience was attracting attention and this proved that the issue was quiet arranged and that it had something to do with the government abroad making an accurate organized actions inside the country.
Thus, Salem was kept under surveillance and was looked for but he did not care about this threatening and he did not care about what would befall him, rather, he concentrated on playing his patriotic role and the things he could do in these circumstances where the citizens needed to help one another regardless of the hazards endangering them.
The situation did not remain as it was, rather, the circumstances changed and the process of constant surveillance was continued until there was a day when Salem had an appointment with some men by the mosque that was near from his house and that was next to Al-Shamiyah Market. He had to go and meet them for he knew that meeting them would raise their morale and that by meeting them he would alleviate some of their pains, thus, they would be patient with the unbearable torture that they are subjected to.
However, when Salem went out to offer the Friday Prayer at the mosque, Mansour caught hold of him insisting that he would accompany him and hoping that he would accept and take him to offer prayers at the mosque with him, then he would go to the market to buy the things the family needed at home. Though many of the market’s goods were sacked and its working hours were reduced, Mansour considered going there a joy that he should enjoy.
In the beginning, Abu Abdullah refused to take his grandson with him and asked him to wait at the house saying he would not be late and that he would bring him all the things he needed from the market but Mansour insisted that he would go with his grandfather and burst into tears and begging him to take him along with him, at that, his mother looked to him with pity and sympathy then said in tenderness, “Stay at home, Mansour. There is no need to go to the mosque now. Stay with us and your grandfather will bring you all that you need when he comes back.”
But Mansour refused that and continued weeping, so, due to his insistence and his desire to go with his grandfather, her mother accepted that he would go out for she know how he was tied to his grandfather, thus, she did not refuse and told the grandfather, “It is alright uncle, take him with you if you won’t be bothered.”
Fadila accepted that he would go out against her will, so, Mansour went out of the house and her heart started to be eaten with distress and fear. There was an unknown and unpleasant feeling obsessing her for whom she knew no reason, explanation or justification.
The Muslims were standing to offer the Friday Prayer rituals and when they were finished with them, they started to invoke God and Salem and his grandson, Mansour were invoking God, too. People went out of the mosque whether one by one or in companies but before they would go far they were surprised by a military car parking in front of the mosque where there were a lot of soldiers and officers ordering Abu Abdullah to get into the car after telling everybody that the law of banning gathering went also for mosques.
The people there were astonished, and Abu Abdullah was confused for his grandson, Mansour was with him at that time, and he did not know what to do as he was shocked due to the surprise. He feared that his grandson would be hurt, so, he asked the soldiers to give his grandson to one those who were offering prayers so that he would be returned to his mother but they refused this humane request and insisted that the grandson would get into the car with him and even before him, if possible.
Mansour refused to let his grandfather alone and he hold him tight while he was crying out of fear of the soldiers and due to the fierce way in which they dealt with his grandfather and the way they shouted at him when they ordered him to get into the car forcefully, so, the grandson caught hold of his grandfather by his two hands weeping and saying, “Don’t leave me a lone. I want to go with you. I am coming with you.”
Due to that tragic scene that passed in no time, Abu Abdullah could do nothing to save his grandson but to catch him by the shoulder, raise him, carry him, hold him, kiss him and reassure him and soothe him while getting into the military car while the fingers of the young boy were clinging to the grandfather and the boy was holding him weeping and in fear refusing to part from him, but at that time, the car was carrying them to an unknown destination and an unknown destiny.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Falsehood is Crystal Clear
Abu Abdullah did not come back and neither did Mansour. Thus, Abdullah was about to go mad when he knew that his father was arrested and his nephew, as some of the neighbors told him of that incident. Abdullah was torn out of rage and anger due to that criminal inhumane act that did not distinguish between an old man and a child that were arrested together without any mercy or any considerations.
Abdullah wanted to go to the police station to ask about them, but everybody was trying to prevent him and told him if he went to the police station he would be hurt, as they would arrest him, kill him and would not leave him alive except if they took him as a captive in one of their prisons there. They also warned him against going there and told him not to do.
Abdullah acted upon their advice but he was worried for this act indicated that they would come to search the house so soon, looking for anything that would condemn his father. So, if they found a flag, a camera or a bullet in the house, they would consider that an evidence and would eventually kill him, though they need no evidence to kill him for they used to do so regardless of evidences or conscience.
The events succeeded one another very rapidly, the circumstances were confused and the time passed in a gloomy way while Abdullah was taking the women of his house and moving with them in a very hard way all along the way to the house of Fadila’s family in Abdullah Salem neighborhood.
They were stopped every now and then because check points were spread all over the streets and the roads spreading panic by that and threatening people of kidnapping, stopping them or taking their properties, and even killing them. Abdullah wished he would go away from their house at Al-Shamiyah very fast and away from the soldiers’ eyes that would surely turn everything upside down and commit aggressions against everyone without exception. Indeed, Abdullah was expecting that their house in Al-Shamiyah would be attacked by brutal Iraqi forces.
Everybody sat in the house at the neighborhood with the family of Fadila, his sister-in-law and the widow of his brother, the martyr, Faisal. Her family knew the danger they were subjected to, so, they tried to calm them down and soothe them as everybody at those times were like brothers and would support one another making the concept of the one family manifest where the meanings of love, brotherhood, sacrifice and selflessness grow.
Abdullah had to reach Badr in the fastest way possible after it was hard for him to contact him in the last few days. And it is said that the news is brought to those who care about knowing it. Indeed, in a way, Badr knew that his brother, Abdullah was looking for him, so, he came to him and hugged him in with affection after he had known the news about his father’s being arrested along with Mansour, but he jested with him to ease the tension of the situation in that meeting saying, “Did not I tell you before the soup is better than the bred.”
Abdullah smiled while shaking his brother’s head showing support for him and loving the bravery he enjoyed and the sense of humor he had and with which he dealt with others even in the darkest times and the bitter ordeals. The two brothers agreed to what they should after their father had been arrested as well as their nephew, the son of their martyr brother. Thus, they decided what they should do after Badr had assured Abdullah that he took away all the documents and the papers that would reveal their real identities from the house.
Immediately, Abdullah started doing his accurate job that he perfected and started to design a new ID that would suit all the new circumstances at whose mercy they laid. Badr also started to gather information about the place where his father would be arrested in. Then he prepared himself with some of the resistance youth to execute a daring operation that would lead them to know the circumstances of the incident.
Afterwards, Abdullah heard of the news of raping some women and little girls, so, he was eaten with panic while looking at his three daughters; Mariam that was about 14, Mona that was about 12 and Fadda that was about 9. He was worried to death about them fearing that they would be hurt, so, he started to recite Qur’anic verses invoking God that He would protect their honor and protect them against any danger. He invoked God that He would grant him patience as he was very sad due the incident where his sob, Abdul Aziz was killed by the Iraqi soldiers who threw him out of the incubator in the hospital.
It was a very great responsibility, for Abdullah became responsible for his wife Ibtesam, his three daughters, and Fadila his sister-in-law and her mother. O God! It was a heavy burden for Abdullah. God help him.
Times went on very hardly and very harshly for the circumstances were going from bad to worth and they were deteriorating as well. The Kuwaiti people were endangered as hazards were endangering them and the news about the arrests of the youth increased after the aggression had grown fiercer and more brutal.
The life in Kuwait became unbearable by humans as only death, as know, became the most prevailing thing in Kuwait at that time and everybody would be killed for the least serious reasons.
Frankly, Badr was dealing with the horrible conditions with brave, challenging, persistent and adventurous soul. Whenever he would manage to handle any situation or get out of any hard situation, or help save some of his fellows of the resistance, he would have more trust in his abilities and he would have faith in his talent.
That was what happened when Badr managed with God’s help to take Jassem and Dalal and the injured from the resistance youth in daylight to Kifan and Al-Rumaithyah where he hid them though there were many check points all along the way but God made them not harm the and He is God the Almighty.
Immediately, Jassem started to practice his work as a surgeon and he started to save those heroes who did not hesitate to sacrifice themselves for their homeland. Jassem used in that some drugs and equipment that helped him to do that humane work.
Jassem was fighting against aggression in his own way by practicing his job though all the frustrating circumstances would not help him and limit his abilities as a doctor. But he was not the kind of a man who would surrender that easy, as Jassem was fighting the occupation with all his will and power and with all his knowledge. Jassem would not also accept to be defeated or surrender to those unusual harsh circumstances.
Though sad for what happened to his father-in-law, the kind-hearted man, Abu Abdullah and his grandson Mansour who were arrested by Saddam’s forces, he did not know what to do regarding this catastrophe that befell their family for he knew how Souad loved her father and she was attached to her nephew, Mansour.
In spite of this continuous aggression to which the innocent were subjected and despite that aggression against those honorable people, people did not surrender or submitted to that situation. Thank God, despite everything, for the patriotic resistance in Kuwait whose responsibility was shouldered by the many Kuwaiti youth in different areas remained to be the main thing that played a great and vital role in raising the morale of the Kuwaiti people and it also affected, at the same time, the occupation forces causing confusion among their lines, and those forces were perplexed due to the huge number of the youth that volunteered to carry weapons and go take revenge on those aggressors.
Badr was distributing his time between the groups of resistance that were formed in all the main areas of Kuwait and most of these groups had military and civil men while others had contact with the government in exile, whereas others were working independently. Badr also shouldered the responsibility of coordination and cooperating with them regarding the exchange of weapons, ammos and explosives.
Indeed, Badr was moving in an easy way and he would avoid the enemy so easy and in everyday he would assume another character of a different nationality, with a different dialect, different ID so that no one would have anything against him or could recognize his real character.
In fact, Badr had the ability of staying calm and peaceful helped by his innocent appearance and his attractive features that would show rest and reassurance away from the brutal killing and murdering acts that he used to do to defend his homeland and its people, and to save his country from that unjust aggressor that do not observe inviolabilities or keep any promises.
That way, Badr kept behaving skillfully and moving quickly; he would move between gathering places to know the youth opinions and their ideas so that he would coordinate between them, thus, he played a very positive role that helped the Kuwaiti resistance revengeful acts to be continued; Badr along with the youth of the resistance knew the places of the arsenals of the army camps and knew the police’s as well as the national guards’. Badr could help in the process of exchanging information as it was easy for him to move freely and easily from place to place in a way that would cause astonishment.
Afterwards, tens of thousands of the burnt Iraqi military equipment were by the sides of the road away from the inhabited areas so that people would not be attacked in revenge and so that they would not be bombed or bombarded, however, the resistance’s effect was shown on the main road and the Iraqi taxis were also sabotaged as the resistance had exploded many of them and killed those inside them, thus, they prevented a great civil wave of the Iraqis that targeted Kuwait.
Badr and his friends became a very prominent example for the Kuwaiti youth who rejected the invasion and did not stand still or surrender to the aggression committed against them and whose enthusiasm never blunted due to the huge number of the Iraqi armed soldiers that were roaming the streets of their country, rather, they started an a fierce resistance that would prove for the world that the Kuwaiti youth would sacrifice their souls so as to liberate their country and that, in the hard times and ordeals, they would be very great men… May God grant them success?
Dalal was no less enthusiastic than Badr to express her love for her country; she helped a lot in the resistance operations, transported weapons and she would also mine the cars that Abdullah used to forge their licenses, park them next to the gathering places of the enemy’s soldiers and then they would explode them.
Dalal was a successful example for the Kuwaiti girls, and a good example of a Kuwaiti woman who played a great role in resisting the occupation, and this made many people wonder due to the patriotic and heroic characteristics she was marked by. May god reward her?
Though the imminent danger that was threatening Dalal, and in spite of the violence acts and the atrocities that the Kuwaiti women were subject to from the enemy’s soldiers who did that so fiercely and brutally, she never forgot to continue playing her role to defend her country’s lands and honor.
Dalal was so angry when she knew that the board of directors of the Kuwaiti Red Crescent Society were arrested after all the properties of the Society were sacked like the cars and the GMC cars as well as the drugs, the food and the money; all these things were taken and transported to Iraq.
Dalal was so angry and sad , too, for Abu Abdullah and his grandson Mansour were arrested, and she was eaten by pain, too, because the father of Jassem, the only one who was loving her and welcoming her in Jassem’s family, was arrested, too. She kept suffering because her brother, Adel, was arrested and tortured inside her house when he went to bury her grandmother’s body that disappeared and then her brother himself disappeared.
Dalal remembered that with the feelings of sorrow, sadness, grief and pain, then she screamed bitterly when she remembered her father and his love for Adel, so, her heart was torn when she imagined what would befall her father when he would know the news of his son’s arrest and torture; what would he do when he would know about this bad news?
Dalal’s sorrow grow bitter while suffering oppression and humiliation, thus, she burst into tears and started weeping while she was about to be out of her mind whenever she would think of her brother, Adel, while being tortured and suffering due to the unbearable pain he was subjected to inside her house by the hands of those oppressors who do not fear their Lord and who were merciless. She herself would bitterly suffer when she would imagine that herself, so, she would burst into tears not knowing what to do while feeling lonely and depressed in this world.
Dalal sighed in sorrow and grief on remembering her past life with her family before the occupation soldiers would attack them and did such criminal acts like breaking into their house, killing her grandmother, raping her mother, causing the illness of her daughter and capturing her brother.
O God! The house has become as if a concentration camp in which there was a considerable number of the youth of the resistance who were arrested by the occupation soldiers, thus, they were subjected to the most brutal of torture that did not know any mercy towards those youth or put into consideration their conditions.
O God! You are the All-Able. Abu Gamal also wept bitterly after knowing the news of Adel’s arrest. He could not stop himself from crying in front of all those men who came to alleviate his pains and share his sorrow after the leak of this bad new.
The men gathered in Abu Gamal’s apartment in Az-Zamalek, Cairo. They would frequently visit him to reassure him, alleviate his pains and to give him hope, for God would help them as He can defeat the oppressors and can make them victorious as He is the All-Able.
Everybody left except Abu Ibraheem who insisted to accompany Abu Gamal, his friend, his schoolmate and his life-time friend, to his apartment in Al-Mohandeseen. Abu Gamal refused to go out, but Abu Ibraheem insisted saying, “No Mu’awad. I won’t leave you alone. I cannot do that. Umm Ibraheem would be angry with me for she is cooking Makbusa with meet and soup only for you.
Abu Gamal replied, “By God Abu Ibraheem I have no appetite today, leave me alone please.”
However, Abu Ibraheem insisted on taking him to his house saying, “Come on Mu’awad. You broke my heart. Come, let’s see what is with Umm Ibraheem and alleviate her pains. She is weeping all the time, as she has known nothing about her brother Abdurrahman since the invasion. Also, my daughter, Siham; her husband is a captive, so, she is weeping all the time along with her mom. Come on, Abu Gamal, we all suffer the same. May God help us all?”
Abu Ibraheem kept telling Abu Gamal so, in order to alleviate his pains over his son until he managed to convince him of going with him to his house esp. as all the family there was longing for his coming.
Both men went in Abu Ibrahim’s flat in Al-Mohandeseen, the food was prepared, everybody sat on the floor and they started to exchange the looks of sorrow ad pain for Adel was very dear to them, he was as if a son to them, he was a friend of their son Ibraheem and was almost living with them in their house, so, he was very dear to them just like Ibraheem is.
The food was taken away as it was, because none ate anything, then, Abu Gamal drank tea busying himself with following the news trying to forget about his pains while waiting for any news about his son so that he would be reassured about his son. Then they started talking about the atrocities in the homeland and those who survived them by sneaking out of the country every now and then, and Adel would be one of those, God willing.
Abu Gamal was driven by that ray of hope and he was blaming himself a lot for being away for a long time from his family and his children. He was blaming himself because he had not cared for them for all those past years. Then Abu Gamal wished that Adel would come back to him to compensate for all the wasted time with his love and tenderness. He would also invoke God that He would protect his elder son Gamal, his wife Umm Gamal as well as Sana’a and Dalal and he invoked that God, Exalted be He, and would protect them against any danger.
Abu Gamal blamed himself again for not being with his children from the very beginning, for being busied with his affairs all the time and for not showering them with the feelings of love, tenderness and care in spite of caring for himself in the first place. Abu Gamal remained blaming himself in silence especially as the TV did not make him forget about his thoughts as there was no new news as the situation was still the same.
Everybody was busy with watching the TV and with talking about the worldly affairs while drinking the tea and coffee that had no taste at all. At that, the celebration of the Prophet’s Birthday was broadcast where the Kuwaiti singer Abdullah Al-Ravished sung in a complaining tone that would move people’s feelings and touch their hearts,
“To God, the Most Benevolent, I complain.
O God! You know the pain I suffer as my country is oppressed.
Truly, it was bitterly oppressed.
And the oppressors are Arabs and Muslims like us.
They followed in the path of the devils.
We accept your fate, O God.
O God! O God.”
Thereupon, everybody burst into tears and they continued weeping while Abdullah Al-Ravished remained continuing his song,
“As You created our tears, God.
Truly, I should weep and weep.
Even though tears would be bloody,
And as You granted us voice,
We should cry even if others would not hear us.
O God! O God, help.”
It was as if everybody stopped breathing and silence prevailed while being accompanied with pain and tears, while the Kuwaiti voice of the son of Kuwait was screaming out of pain addressing the Kuwaiti and invoking God to help them,
“Forgive me God. My heart is being torn.
Forgive me God, I am suffering.
Some Muslims follow the path of falsehood,
And they support shedding our blood.
I am really away from my children,
I am really away from my heart,
I am really away from my country.
O God! We accept our fate.
We accept you Divine Fate.
O God! We accept it.”
Everybody was grieved; their hearts were aching as well as their souls while Abu Gamal was covering his face with his hands that were soon covered with his tears, so, Abu Ibraheem could not take that anymore and bear with that, thus, he hid his face with tears and burst into tears. Abu Ibraheem was crying over his alienation and humiliation after he became homeless and after he felt the loss of identity. Meanwhile, the women, the boys, the daughters and the children burst into tears for which hearts would break.
Feelings were stirred as well as emotions whereas weeping and crying went on without being stopped and so was suffering, for the news about the citizens inside and outside Kuwait and everywhere was important for the top officials of Kuwait who were headed by his majesty, the heir who said from the beginning of the invasion that he was feeling their pains and sharing their feelings. He addressed the people of Kuwait in love and tenderness while he was in Jeddah in Saudi Arabia, the country of love and loyalty saying, “People of our beloved country. We have been always with you all day and night with our hearts, minds, feelings and feelings. The image of our beloved Kuwait and its gallant resisting citizens never parted us in our sleep or while we were awake. God knows how much we do suffer for you sorrows and how we feel pains when we hear about what the criminals do against you…”
In Riyadh, Souad and Laila were sparing no effort to follow the instructions of the father, the leader, the Prince of the country. Thus, they joined the Kuwaiti resistance that t centered n Saudi Arabia and to which many of the Kuwaiti volunteers who left Kuwait came. There were a lot of women among those people among who was her aunt, Jassem’s mother who loved to join that voluntary work every now and then whenever the circumstances would allow that. But sometimes she would insist that she would follow up with the health conditions of her sister, Umm Abdullah and she would also take care of children esp. Ahmad who seemed to be pale and sad while following the news of the occupation as if he were on of the youth.
Ahmad was very sad for what befall his homeland. He was bitterly sad for the destruction that took place in his country after he had known that the animals he loved and liked to visit in the zoo were eaten by the soldiers who also destroyed the equipment of the Entertainment city; they cut all the cables and destroyed its equipment.
Ahmad’s worries were a lot as he was really a child but his feelings were that of a mature person; he was following the news and he would not miss that and he had fears about his country and this was clear on his face, but at the same time he was keen to hide those feelings from his mother so as not to make her sad again. She was suffering a lot for her worries about his father, her brothers, her father, and all the family out there.
The fears about them were great because of the deteriorating conditions and the living conditions about which the news were spread very rapidly, so, their hearts were aching and they were tortured. The news about the horrible conditions was spread very rapidly, and the most painful of which was that a Kuwaiti doctor declared that she treated 4 cases among which there was a 12-year-old girl who was raped repeatedly by the Iraqi soldiers.
The news reached the family in Riyadh, so, they were about to be out of their mind as this girl was as old as Mona, daughter of Abdullah. Thus, they were afraid and they panicked after they had not known anything about their family for a long time. They did not even know anything about Jassem, thus, Souad was worried and she became very afraid about him esp. after she had known a sensitive piece of information indicating that her husband, doctor Jassem Al-Nasser was known to the Iraqi forces of occupation and that he became wanted because he was the representative of the medical group in Kuwait.
In the next day’s morning, the phone rang and Masha’el answered in a low polite voice saying, “Peace be with you…Yes she is here…Hold on for a second.”
Masha’el draw nearer to Souad to tell her calmly that the Kuwaiti Embassy in Riyadh is asking for her, thus, Souad hurried to the phone to answer, “Peace be with you… Yes…I am Umm Ahmad, doctor Jassem’s wife… What’s up…? That’s all…When…We will be waiting him, let him come.”
Laila asked her impatiently, “What’s up Souad? Why did the embassy call you? Did anything happen? Is there anything that happened to Jassem?”
Souad turned to Laila while her eyes were brimming with anger and it was as if the panic of the world filled her heart while she was answering in panic, weakness and feebleness saying, “They say that a representative of the embassy will come in a while with a message from Kuwait that I must receive myself.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
O God! We Seek Your Help
Souad caught the message, rolled it until it became like a small stick and she caught it and stressed on it with her fingers while her looks were seeking help. Her looks were impatient and were full of despair and she was seeking one word from the representative of the embassy that would ease her pains and reassure her while the representative was standing still while his face was expressing resistance and patience.
Then Souad left the representative of the embassy with Naiad’s father who was welcoming him and talking to him in a friendly way.
Souad came out with an unknown heavy feeling that burdened her heart, and she was swaying trying to stop a scream of panic that was about to come from her. She looked for Laila in silence while catching the message in a violent way so as not to open it for she was expecting what it would contain. She caught it with all the strength she got until her nails were about to penetrate her hands while the message was still in her shaking hands and she was no feeling anything about herself while she was swaying walking in the place.
She called upon Souad in a very low, shaken voice and she approached her very slowly seeking her help as if she was carrying a bomb that was about to explode to destroy her.
Souad approached Laila and stood staring in her eyes then she covered her face with her hands while speaking in a whispering voice and while her body was shaking; she said, “It is Jassem, Laila.”
Laila panicked because Souad looked panicked and confused, so, she asked in horror and in a low shaking voice, “What is up, Souad? What happened to Jassem?”
Laila stretched her shaken and shivering hands towards Laila in a slow manner and with the amount of weak power and lost energy she had, she opened her shivering fingers and Laila took the message that Souad could not open to read.
Souad was worried about what was mentioned in the message that Laila started to read to her and it was, for Souad, as if she was hearing the sounds of bombs while she started to grow weaker and her heart started to be eaten by the fire of worries.
Suddenly, Souad was broken and her ability to stand hardships and to stand pains vanished in the air and she screamed to the extent that could no more strike a balance and she fainted after knowing the news about her father and her nephew’s arrest.
Days went on very slowly; very long as if they were endless, however, the bad news was hurting her heart, but it would never destroy her as she was utterly destroyed after her father’s absence. She rejected that new reality and refused to accept it.
She would say, “No, it is impossible. It is unfair that my father and my nephew would be arrested on one go.”
Her pains and days were destroying hearts while Souad suffered a shock due to hearing this bad news and the horrible situation her father and her nephew, Mansour, was going through.
It was not only Souad’s father the only kind, peaceful man to captured, and her nephew was not also the only little nice child to be captured, rather, this was the case with the whole country’s citizens. This was the destiny of the people who wanted to defend their country and who rejected the occupation that took many forms and shapes.
Inside the hurt homeland, Dalal returned disguised to Al-Ediliyah and she entered her father’s house in which he was spending the summer before the invasion and before going to Cairo, though she knew nothing about him at that time, for he could have left Cairo or Damascus or stayed in Cairo. Anyway, she did not know just like everybody else. She entered the house and hugged Dana, and kissed her for she missed her a lot and could no longer bear being away from her anymore. Dalal was also longing to see her mother who started to look disturbed and that was manifest in her acts, for she still believed that her mother was still alive and that she was captured by Saddam’s soldiers who would be torturing her.
Frankly, she was really suffering and her pains were unbearable, so, she started to suffer psychologically and Umm Gamal’s case was similar to hers. She, too, suffered the same, for she was suffering being amid that cursed atmosphere that brimmed with panic ad horror and stress. It was great that Dana was under the care of her aunt Sana’a and this alleviated her pains and compensated for her mother’s absence, because Sana’a’ was like a mother for her after her real mother, Dalal, was busy with the acts of the resistance, though the feelings of motherhood would drive her to think deliberately about spending sometime with her little girl.
Feelings were the same in Al-Ediliyah and other areas after the concept of being united as one family had grown stronger and after the relations had been strengthened between the inhabitants who would hurry to help one another and to specify everybody’s responsibility. The gatherings of men in mosques and in gathering places would assure that and this helped everybody feel that they were as if one family that had the same worries and sorrows.
Conditions changed, and depression prevailed in those days and everyone became depressed after Adel had been arrested, for since that time, Dalal, her mother, sister, stepmother had been wearing black to the extent that Dana could no more differentiate between them because they looked the same, acted the same as they were dressed in black and they were gloomy and laughter and smiling knew no way to their faces; they looked the same, acted the same, they were sad and gloomy.
At the same time, Gamal was wearing the jeans while he was working in the market or while burning the garbage and he would disappear a lot from the house to participate in the resistance acts and that would make his mother very worried about him and she would be afraid, too, but he would make it up with her and would make her laugh and reassure her, then he would take Dana with him to the market as she loved to go there as she loved him and loved to be with him because he was tender with her and because he would make her little heart happy; this very heart was tied to her uncle who compensated with his love and tenderness her loss of her father who died while she was an infant. May he rest in peace?
Dalal’s mother used to phone her relatives from time to time as well as her neighbors to ask them about her mother and as them if anyone saw her. Sometimes she thought she was still in their house at Al-Salemiyah and she was talking about her mother as if she saw her alive. She would also curse and swear at Dalal as she was the reason behind all that happened.
Dalal would disappear most of the time to play her role in the resistance with Jassem and she would not return until she would have a quarrel with her mother who would lose her temper due to being worried about her and due to thinking about what would happen to a beautiful girl like her. She feared she would be imprisoned there in the house like what happened to her mother. Sana’a would go to ease the tension of their quarrel esp. when Dalal’s mother would weep bitterly when Dalal would go out leaving her without knowing anything about her.
Her mother would say, “I do not to where she went, and when she would come back. Maybe she went to my mother. For sure she is there in the house with her.”
The circumstances were really horrible and there were unexpected situations and everybody was very grieved without exception. Fathers started to worry about their sons and mothers started to have doubts that they would participate in the resistance even if their sons denied that for this would not do as parents knew their sons would never surrender. How great!
Dalal was torn as she wanted to stay at the house with her mother and her daughter especially after her mother’s illness to be at ease and for her mother to stop quarreling with her, and at the same time she wanted to fulfill her duty towards her country that she must fulfill and she had to play her role that necessitated being in one of the crypts where Jassem was curing the youth of the resistance.
She was torn between both choices esp. after the hard circumstances had that the country was subjected to imposed an atmosphere of noble and lofty feelings, thus, her relationship with Jassem took another form that was tied to much loftier and nobler feelings. Her love for him turned to be deep friendship and he turned to be a brother to her. Dalal became sure that she had no doubts about the kind of her feelings.
Jassem also was thinking about nothing else but to save the injured who were laying before him after all the public hospitals had become unsafe places where patients are persecuted and where women are being raped whether they were patients, nurses or doctors.
Jassem received the news of the murder of many of his fellow doctors with whom he had strong relations of friendship in sorrow and pain. Indeed, doctors in Kuwait experienced a grave ordeal when they were killed for very trivial reasons before their fellow doctors, patients and assistants inside the hospitals they were working at. That was the way in which the angels of mercy were treated without mercy.
Jassem was only focusing on fighting for the resistance to resist those aggressors. He thought of nothing else and he did not even think of his wife whom he forgot; the only thing he cared about then was seeing his mother and making sure that his children were O.K. He was worried about them and he wished that he would see them but the events would force man to choose his way and they would force man to take certain ways against his will.
Anyway, Jassem would try to know about their news and the only way to know that was following the news or listening to the Kuwait-in- exile radio. He would also see the T.V report about Kuwait that he would long to see at 11pm if he could and if he had enough time and if he had a T.V set in a safe place for whoever would see such programs would be punished by being arrested or by death.
Dalal was also keen to watch such a program, too, but she was careful for whoever would be caught watching a station other that Baghdad’s would be punished but she did not care, and she would watch the program to know about the Kuwaiti abroad and she was also keen to know about the conditions of the Kuwaiti community abroad hoping that she would hear something about her father. She wanted to make sure that he was alright and to make sure that his health conditions were o.k. esp. after Adel had been arrested for she was sure that her father knew the news.
The amazing thing that astonished Dalal was that she was not thinking about Souad a lot and her feelings towards her changed, she no longer hated her and she was not jealous of her anymore as she became another one for whom she did not care. This was because all that she was thinking about at that time was working hard to free the homeland and to save it from the oppressors and let anything be afterwards. The first priority was liberating Kuwait and let anything happen then.
Believe it, the crisis changed Dalal a lot and she started to care about religious lessons and she was keen to wear the veil and offer prayers in their due time. Al this, affected her feelings and had its effect on her thoughts and bettered her psychological conditions and changed her conditions. Dalal really changed; God is All-Able as He changes others but He never Changes.
In fact, Dalal changed as well as Souad. She became another person with different feelings as she felt there was nothing in the world that would deserve she would feel jealous, or have ill-feelings towards anyone. She knew that the best blessing man would enjoy is that he would enjoy peace of mind and that he would live in peace with himself, his family and in his homeland. Indeed, inside one’s house and in one’s homeland. Souad remembered her childhood and her joy when she was a child that was deprived of nothing of this world, so, she felt a grave ache in his chest when she remembered her fathers, her beloved and all that she had.
Souad also felt angry due to these harsh conditions that deprived her of her husband that she was longing for seeing him so much. Souad decided to forget about the feelings of jealousy she was harboring because of Dalal for the whole world in her opinion did not deserve anything; she only wished that Mansour would come back and that she would see her husband, Jassem, her beloved.
The days were passing gloomily due to Souad’s conditions. Everybody around was feeling how she was suffering but no one dared to open the subject before her even her mother, though her pains she remained silent so that she would stir the feelings of sorrow inside her causing her to weep. Thus, invocations, reciting the Glorious Qur’an and offering prayers were the only way out for them.
The nice white house in which they were living was next to a nice white mosque and the nice voice of the caller for prayer was among the things that they really liked but the problem is that when the war started this place was almost on the front and the old airport turned to be a military base; the missiles would hit Riyadh to the extent that beds would shake and children would panic, so, grown-ups would turn off lights fearing the missiles and gases.
What would make children afraid more is seeing grown-ups wearing black gas masks, thus, children would panic esp. Rakan who would try to take off that mask and would do the same with his mother for he would bear watching her wearing that in front of him, because he would fear that and would burst into tears. Regarding Ahmad, he wanted to be a hero even during the air raids as would remain steadfast and he would not cry before any creature even after he had known that his grandfather and Mansour were kidnapped.
Indeed, hearts had been aching since this news reached the family in Riyadh as this was a grave catastrophe and this was painful. Some believed the news while others did not, as some did not want to believe that Abu Abdullah, the kind and peaceful man and Mansour, that little innocent kid disappeared from their life. Everybody did not believe this news about their being arrested.
Everybody did not believe that news not knowing how they would arrest an old man and a child; they could not believe that.
Everybody was hoping that they would know any new news that would reassure their aching and despaired hearts that could do nothing but seek God’s help. The news was unbelievable and everybody refused to deal with it as a reality as this was an unjustified act in any way as this would not be accepted under any pretext for this was an inhumane act that would pose many questions to mind.
Why this cruelty? Why all these acts? Why these barbaric acts? Why resort to violence? Why this aggression and humiliation took place? For what reason are all these inhumane acts?
How painful. The screams of suffering and deep pain would go beyond places time, borders, barriers and control points and nobody would ignore them. Everybody would know it as the grieved souls, the sad time and the sorrowful nigh were obsessed by it. Indeed, sorrow prevailed everything even the moon became sad and unseen.
There was only hope for the moment when pains would be over but the rays of hope hid behind the black clouds of sorrow behind which Fadila’s house was hid; her grief over her husband, the martyr , lieutenant Faisal and over her lost son, Mansour was not over though she almost ran out of tears.
Since Mansour accompanied his grandfather out of the house to offer Friday Prayer, they had not come back to the house. Then the moon did not show up, the sun eclipsed, the candles of hope went out and sadness knew its way to hearts and souls and days were shrouded in sorrow and grief as the atmosphere turned to be windy, full of fear, dark, and shrouded by death and horror.
Tears would go down everybody’s tears and hearts would be broken whenever they would feel that the coming time would bring more fear, horror and pain and this was unbearable by humans: “God, do not overburden us with something we cannot stand, forgive us, forsake us and endow us with your mercy. Since You are our Leader, bring us victory agains the disbelievers.”
Fadila was obsessed by the feelings of panic due to arrest and separation; she was rejecting the idea of leaving Kuwait before seeing Mansour and hugging him.
Finally, she was convinced that staying in Kuwait and waiting for Mansour to return would mean that they would all be dead. She was also convinced that leaving Kuwait would help her find her son for she would find a faster way to find him or she would find a more effective way to bring him back. This was the only way to convince her of leaving Kuwait so that she would follow another way to bring her beloved son back.
At last, Fadila was convinced that the barriers between countries were not iron walls and that what would happen in a country would be known to another. Her mother convinced her while crying of leaving for staying there would not help and waiting in despair would not help, as the soldiers would break into houses at any moment without permission and they would hurt families inside houses and humiliate them, too, without exception.
Thus, it was no use waiting helplessly in fear and despair. Ibtesam begged Fadila’s mother to convince her daughter to leave at once before what happened to Amal the beautiful Univ. student would befall them as the soldiers of Saddam attacked her house, destroyed it and took her by force without feeling pity for her screams and she remained a captive till that time. None knew anything about her till that moment. She begged Fadila’s mother so much saying, “Please aunt, and convince her to leave with us before we get hurt. I am very worried about my children. My daughters are young and I am afraid the soldiers would hurt them. Talk to her and convince her. Tell her that this is the best solution. Whenever we would arrive at Riyadh we would manage that but we are helpless here. We can do nothing here.”
Days went on, and time was hurting hearts and fearing the dangers that were about to happen would stop minds from thinking and panic souls. It was clear for everybody that security conditions were going from bad to worse day after day and so was the case with living conditions. There was no solution but to leave in such circumstances that Abdullah was going through with those accompanying him. It was a great responsibility and there was an imminent danger and any negligence would lead to death.
At last Abdullah knew from his wife that Fadila agreed to leave, so, he felt that he was at ease esp. after knowing that he could leave at once, but he returned and gave women a look that brimmed with worry and fear for he felt great responsibility as they were many and they were not of the same age. Abdullah kept seeking God’s help and asking Him to help him go safely with them to the brothers where there was peace away from those devils, traitors who were there all over the country.
Abdullah prepared himself to leave, put the food and the water in the car, then all the girls got into the car dressed in black even Mariam, Mona and Fadda were dressed in black though they were so young, but this was because of their fear from being raped as the aggressors were merciless and they did not distinguish between women and others for they committed their crimes against women of all ages, old people and even young children.
Fadila’s mother sat next to Abdullah in the front of the car while his wife and his daughters; Mariam, Mona and Fadda were with Fadila at the back seats; they were carrying copies of the Qur’an which they were reciting invoking God that He would save them and help they reach their destination safely.
The car moved while everybody was crying over the state to which they reached. Ibtesam looked around as if she was saying goodbye to her homeland in which Abdul Aziz, her son, was buried and over whom his two sisters were still crying. Ibtesam sighed and invoked God to give her something better in return, she said, “O God! You are Bounteous. Give me something better in return.”
Ibtesam was sighing in sadness due to the death of her infant Abdul Aziz who was not born mature, so, he was put in an incubator but the aggressive soldiers threw him away after taking the oxygen that they needed to save their injured away from him not caring about the lives of many children.
Fadila was weeping because of Mansour and her weeping was tearing everybody’s heart to pieces while she was looking from the back glass of the car at the market and the mosque of the neighborhood. For the place is similar to that in which the invaders kidnapped her child Mansour in Al-Shamiyah. Maybe Mansour came here with his grandfather. She knew that Mansour would love to go to the market and he would love to play with the cycle in front of it, while his grandfather would love to choose between the kinds of cacao, biscuits that he loved, and then Fadila screamed, “Mansour might be inside with the kids.”
She was still searching for him with her heart, as she was still holding the last ray of hope. She would imagine him hugging her laughing as he used to do, so, how would she leave Kuwait not knowing anything about his destiny, his place how he was eating, how he was sleeping and what they were doing to him?
She said, “O Mansour! Where are you Mansour? How could I find you?”
Fadila was hit by a hysterical paroxysm in which she was about to faint. The car was shaking like everybody else due to her weeping and even Abdullah could not suppress his tears and he burst into tears for leaving the dear ones behind. May God, the Most Merciful, grant them patience.
The car moved away and the more it would go far the more Fadila would cry. She would like to stop the car and stop it from leaving so that she would not go away from the place where her son was. She hoped that her son would not be afraid and that he would be relaxing in her lap, and that she would hug him, kiss his forehead and hide him in heart so that he would not be lost once more.
Fadila had looked for her son almost in every mosque and in every market in Kuwait before she would agree to leave it. She looked for him in Al-Shamiyah, Al-Dahyya, Al-Faiha’a, Al-Rawda, Al-Nuzha, and Al-Shuwaikh then she looked for him again in Al-Rumaithyah, Salwa, Mushref and Bian until she reached Al-Jahra’a. In that she was subject to danger because there were a lot of control points all the way, but her sadness for her son’s loss was a great motive for her to take her chances.
Fadila was still having a ray of hope while looking at the mosques and the markets; she was hoping that she would find Mansour. Her mother was with her while Abdullah was patient while dealing with her as he did not want to increase her sorrows or drive her to lose hope for finding her son for whom she roamed all the areas of Kuwait and no one could stop her from doing that as Mansour was kidnapped after the prescribed period she should spend unmarried after her husband, Faisal had died had been over.
Fadila was absorbed in looking at the dust of the ways and it was as if she would unearth the land while looking to the back hoping to see her son before the car would go away from that place. It was a very painful situation and the reality was more painful while Fadila burst into hysterical crying that caused everybody to lose control over their feelings and they shared her her pains for the loss of her son and for the loss of his grandfather, the nice kind guy who was the victim of performing his duty towards his country when the aggressors kidnapped him.
Abdullah controlled his feelings and started to recite some Qur’anic verses to put hearts at ease and to give them the rest they needed to complete this tough mission that they invoke god to help them go safely and save them.
The car went out of the Kuwaiti borders and Abdullah was watching the way very while he was worried when he was heading for Saudi Arabia where there was peace and safety. The car went on rapidly while moving on the long way to hope while they were shaking out of fear from the unknown destiny that was awaiting them for there the places were spacious and evil was everywhere and there was none to save those weak innocent people from the evil.
The ordeal was at its peak and fear was manifest in the most horrible way as danger was shrouding those hard minutes shaking hearts with fear then. Everybody was reciting the Qur’an seeking God’s protection and they would have a deep sigh whenever they would pass one of the control points safely.
They thanked God as the car was going to the place of safety and they would shiver out fear while reaching this decisive moment and while they would fight danger with their faith. Then, thanks to god, they would pass control points safely one after another, then, they would feel at ease bit by bit; they would say, “We thank God, the Only One to be thanked for affliction.”
Thanks to God, they passed the last control point safely and, in fact, the make up, that Badr made for his brother to change his features was great as it turned him from a young man in the thirties to an old man in the sixties, i.e., over the age of the people they wanted to arrest.
Abdullah’s clothes and his appearance indicated that he was and old man as his hair that Badr treated with oxygen turned to be white and the shawl that he tied over his head showed that he was even older and made his white hair appear from both sides of his thin face. Fadila’s mother’s sitting next to him implied that she was his wife.
In fact, the whole scene was convincing as being an old man and his wife while there were their daughters and granddaughters at the back and there was no trace of his youth or of his real age as Badr did that very skillfully. He even put a kind of glow on his hands to make him look older, thus, no one would know that this old man who had an ID of a retiring Inspector in Kuwait’s Municipality would be Abdullah Salem, the engineer who graduated from the faculty of engineering, Harvard Univ., Boston, in the U.S.A.
Thank God, the soldiers were fooled and there were new orders to facilitate the Kuwaiti people’s emigration from Kuwait to let other Iraqi people in instead, so, there were no obstacles while leaving and they passed all the control points safely after the trick of Badr made Abdullah look uglier like none. There was a black color around his eyes and there were many thick lines in his forehead. This was a perfect work that resulted in driving the soldiers away from them.
Abdullah took another way through the desert; it was a safe way unknown to many as he was afraid that something would happen and he did not like to take the chances of lying at the mercy of those devils having with him these women. Abdullah took a certain way that the people of Kuwait know very well and of people he knew best about it. It was a heavy burden for Abdullah and he should prove that he was a man. May God help him.
They were looking in fear at the endless desert around them whose sand would be moved by the wind making by those waves of sand. Silence prevailed and shrouded time with fear and ambiguity, while Abdullah was looking at the horizon in worry and in silence that would echo inside his soul, and he was invoking God to help them arrive in safety.
They were longing to move away from the danger and they wanted to reach the place of safety, Saudi Arabia where there were peace, safety and hope. All along the car was moving ahead and they were longing to see their relatives and friends.
Silence and tranquility prevailed, thus, the shivering hearts would know for the first time from a very long time the sweetness of safety. Then they started to talk and the feelings of security, safety, as well as hope prevailed but, suddenly, when the car came near to an old wall next to a huge amount of sand, a tank appeared and stood in their way, then, very fierce soldiers came out of it and they stopped the car from moving, besieged the car, turned around it and ordered everybody to come down.
Everybody stood still, and they froze out of fear that had prevailed the whole atmosphere. Danger shrouded them and treachery was manifest in those soldiers’ eyes. They were staring at them and it was a hard confrontation and there was almost no ray of hope as they would kill and what was worse was that they would rape the women. May God save them from those devils.
The situation was beyond everybody’s abilities and Abdullah was watching the helplessly after the soldiers had approached the car while their looks were revealing their desires. Meanwhile, the girls were terrified and they were shivering out of fear and this was shown on their pure innocent faces. At that, their tears flowed unable to stand fear and unable to stand murdering, oppression, panic, scandals, humiliation, torture and raping.
This was a moment of helplessness in which all the years would melt, as everybody was unable to face that imminent danger, they would take their chances while they were shivering out of fear and while their hearts were as if screaming and rolling while bleeding on the sand.
At that, a sincere call for help came out and an invocation from the bottom of the heart came out reaching the sky so that God would help them come out safely from that ordeal; it was, “There is no god but God the Mighty. There is no god but you, Lord of the Tremendous Throne. There is no god but the Lord of the skies and the earths and the Bounteous Lord of the Tremendous Throne. O God, the Ever-Living. We seek your help.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The Death of Beauty
At that critical moment, a military jeep appeared in the scene as if it came from the sky. Everybody was silent while the voice of the angry Iraqi officer was echoing ordering his soldiers to return to the tank and to move away from that place after he had scolded them for what they did and threatened them that they would be punished for that as they were not allowed to stay at that place at all.
Suddenly, the soldiers went away they same as they appeared suddenly then the Iraqi officer turned to Abdullah and talked to him in a very affectionate manner saying, “Forgive brother. We are brothers after all and neighbors as well. There are blood ties and relationships between us. We are valiant Arabs and before everything we are Muslims and we believe in One God.”
The Iraqi officer looked at himself examining his military dress then he looked at the military jeep in disgust and said in an angry unsatisfied tone, “We were fooled like you. Those devils fooled us. They said they wanted to quell a revolution in Kuwait but now everything was revealed and the truth became clear.
The officer approached Abdullah’s car and referred to everybody to get into the car and started talking to them while still angry and furious saying to them in deep and sincere apology, “Forgive us. We are oppressed like you and we do not want war and we do not want to be here but the execution teams and the party’s cadres would shoot whoever would not execute the orders.”
The officer turned to the right while raising his hand to the horizon and addressing Abdullah who was sweating despite the wind, “Hit your road. Take your women and depend on God. Move straight and do not turn right or left. Move now. May God keep you safe.”
Abdullah thanked the Iraqi officer who saved them from a horrible situation then he darted with the car right straight while there was a feeble sign on his pale face that looked like the faces of the dead. He caught hold of the steering wheel and headed for the south not believing that they survived that and the tears of joy were flowing over his cheeks wetting his clothes and easing his soul and he had that feeling of gratitude overwhelming him. Thank God, the Lord of the Worlds.
They continued their journey in which silence was prevalent unbroken but by the weeping of the women who were unable to talk or express their happiness as they survived, though their hearts brimmed with thankfulness and gratitude as deep inside they thanked God for helping them through that valiant Iraqi officer who saved them from misery and torture.
The car went all along the way right straight while the Iraqi officer was making sure that they were moving safely, they he returned and the care vanished. This officer was as if an angel who came to help them. Thank God.
The car went on continuing the journey and inside the car they were crying and thanking God for His help, thus, words would come very pure to thank God for saving them while the hearts would thank and praise that valiant Iraqi officer, may god reward him.
At last the car arrived safely to the place where safety is and where they would find their brothers there. Thank God they arrived safely. The relatives in Riyadh were assured that Abdullah and his company arrived safely while Badr spared no effort to know through the youth of the resistance about the news of his brother and his company and to make sure that they arrived safely.
Through a cell phone that one of the youth was hiding from the enemies, Badr made sure that Abdullah arrived safely, so, he was at ease and told that good news to everybody and firstly to Jassem and the heroes who are wanted from the enemy’s forces. They were looking for them and tightening the circle around them searching for them after the occupations forces had tightened its grip on the youth of the resistance who rejected oppression, thus, their chances to escape were reduced and so were their chances to survive the enemy’s hands.
Thus, the clubs arenas witnessed the most severe kinds of torture that took place in other places, too, like the gardens, schools, and some of the houses. In addition to this, the aggressive forces would attack ordinary houses like Dalal’s and they would do that before the dawn to ask for Gamal, Adel’s brother to investigate him as the one in charge had certain information about him and he would like to inquire about that.
What was happening at that hour of the night was more horrible than nightmares as they broke into the house and broke the door while armed to the bones and asked for Gamal Mahmoud. They warned everybody against moving, then Gamal woke up surprised by that attack at the night, then the officer talked to him in an ordinary tone saying, “Come on with us to the police station so that we can handle your case.”
Umm Gamal approached them while she was shivering out of fear and asking, “What is up, son? Why take Gamal? What did he do?”
The officer talked to her in the same friendly way saying, “Do not be afraid, mother. Everything is alright. We just want to talk to him and would return immediately. He won’t be late. Do not be afraid.”
The soldiers went out with Gamal, they took him to the car and they went out carrying with them what was light in weight but very expensive not moved by Umm Gamal’s begging or Dalal’s or even Dana’s screams. Everybody was suffering and was in pain on seeing Gamal, their beloved, kind son being taken away without giving him the chance to talk.
The only way they dealt with people in was force that was supported by the weapons they carried, while Gamal was armless and the only weapon he had was his unshakable faith in God, his love for his country and the burning desire to sacrifice his life for it.
The only thing Umm Gamal did not know about her son was that he was an important cadre in one of the groups of the resistance and that he masterminded the operation of exploding the trucks’ center. This was the great operation that Gamal did in revenge for what befell his sister Dalal, her mother, her grandmother and for what happened to his younger brother Adel who disappeared after he had gone to bury the body of his sister’s grandmother in his sister’s house that they turned to hell on earth.
Gamal went out of the house and took with him all the feelings that would be related to life, thus, the house turned to be like a grave that was full of tears and sadness and that brimmed with fear. Everybody there in the house was as if dead though alive. Sana’a was one of those whose fear drove her to keep to her little room on the roof and whenever she would hear any strange sound she would jump and in no time she would hide in the water tank that was half full with water so as to hide with her thin body and she would remain there for hours shivering out of the bitter cold until the danger would be over.
What could words say in such inhumane situations? What could they do to overcome such an affliction? What would the use of the windows and fences be when others could break into houses and while there is no dignity for humans who would be humiliated? What a very sad night it was, and what a time where humanity is being trodden with feet.
The mother fainted and hit the earth with her tears flowing after she had cried a lot over her son and over her country and after she had cursed the treachery, treason and humiliation. Umm Gamal would sacrifice her soul for the sake of her son’s, thus, she kept cursing the day on which she saw those aggressors.
The lights fainted and the house was shrouded in darkness and gloominess and Umm Gamal screamed from the bottom of her heart after she recovered saying, “Where did they took Gamal?”
The mother kept crying bitterly while cursing her conditions after they had taken her son. Dalal also cried with all the atrocities she bore in mind and that were deep inside her; she remembered how they killed her mother and raped her so she also fainted and hit the floor.
After a while, Sana’a went down with her clothes wet and she was shivering out of the cold and was not able to stand out of fear and the panic she felt after they had broken into the house, and after hearing some sounds of hitting, but to her surprise, she knew that they took Gamal.
Sana’a could not stop weeping to the extent that her tears were mixed with her wet clothes, so, she entered her room to change her clothes but she could not control her nerves and she did not know what to do to calm Dana down or to drive fear away. The little girl was horrified the moment Gamal was arrested, her uncle whom she loved and who was not an uncle for her only, rather, he was as if a tender father who compensated for her father’s death and who increased his tenderness after the horrible conditions of the war grow tougher.
Gamal knew that Dalal was suffering due to that, so, he used to encourage her to take care of her patriotic role in nursing the injured of the resistance youth and he would take care of Dana in her mother’s absence; he would tell her stories about her brave mother whom he described as a hero and Dana was pleased to hear such stories and adventures about her mother and thus, she would not insist that her mother would take her with her.
Dalal appreciated that humane attitude of her brother Gamal whom she really loved as he would care for her and he would blame her if she stayed away long without calling him. He was a kind and pure-hearted brother.
The news leaked about Gamal’s torture in the police station in Hawli Square where no body knew what was happening in that crypt that they called the Disco. The mother was about to lose her mind while she could do nothing to save him but to pray for him and to invoke God, Exalted be He, seeking His help and pleasure, for God can do whatever He wishes and there is none to oppose His Will.
This feeling overwhelmed everybody and the human weakness was mixed with the hope and resorting to God hoping that there would be a miracle that would bring Gamal back before those aggressors would torture him. They hoped that God would save him.
Dalal knew what happened and knew due to her work with the youth of the resistance that phone lines were bugged at that time so as to catch them just like what happened to some of their friends, thus, she watched her mother until she met her at a mosque where she attended religious lessons and moved with her carefully while expecting any danger at that moment and this fear affected Dana very much as she was like a precious thing that they both feared it would be hurt, may God save her for them.
The resistance acts were continued and the Kuwaiti people did not surrender to oppression and threatens, rather, their faith became unshakable and their will never faltered, they bore with such conditions and had an unshakable faith. The resistance was manifest in people’s hearts, eyes and in everything like their resistance and their patience, in refusing to work and going on strikes and in refusing to cooperate with the enemy in any way. The resistance went on as nobody cared about anything anymore.
Everybody was ready to sacrifice his life and people knew their lives were endangered but they did not care about what would happen more than that. Life was nothing compared to their country, and they would die for Kuwait; they would worship God, sacrifice their lives for the country and obey the Prince.
Fear was over as life should go on and the basic services were available for everybody as the government was helping the citizens and was providing them with money from the very first day of the invasion. Everybody knew that the economic policy of Prince Jabir Ahmad Al-Sabbah preserved the international status of Kuwait even after the invasion; the Pravda, the Soviet newspaper published an essay about the stance of his majesty saying, “It is hard to find a ruler in the modern world history who could provide 300,000 persons of his people with the supplies while being in the exile and at the same time contributing to the funding of the multi-nationalities forces.”
Indeed, his majesty and his heir were sparing no effort regarding the country’s cause and in regaining our lands. Also, the brothers in the Gulf Cooperation Council had a very important role that was manifest in their stance as they, as leaders, governments and people declared during the summit that they supported Kuwait against the aggression of the Iraqi regime and this was hailed by Sheikh Saad who appreciated that stance.
People did not become weak or bored with resisting and resisting as conditions in many days created a great kind of solidarity among people and instilled understanding and mercy in their hearts and this made the people of Kuwait maintain the old way of life they used to lead as people used to live as if they were one family.
Days went on horribly after Gamal had been arrested and no one knew what happened to him and his mother refused to eat anything. She would not stop crying and weeping while imagining what those aggressors would do to her beloved son, Gamal; she would say in sadness, “Why want me, the old aged lady, to eat while I do not know anything about my sons, Adel and Gamal ? I do not know if they are given food or not. May God avenge the aggressors.”
One day, some of the soldiers came in the afternoon and they were armed. They forced their way to the house and started to search everything and throw everything away, so, Umm Gamal asked, “What are you looking for?”
They said, “We are looking for weapons, mother.”
Umm Gamal started to cry begging them to bring back her son lest they would feel sorry for and bring him back, she said, “We do not have any. Please, bring me back my son. Gamal do not take part in such acts.”
Thus one of the soldiers answered her smilingly, “We will bring him right over, mother.”
In the evening, the soldiers came with Gamal, so, everyone who heard the news rejoiced but this was not Gamal. Everyone in the house thought this was not Gamal and thought he did not return.
This thin young man whose skin was torn, and whose face was bruised and who could not strike a balance while there was blood all over his body was different from Gamal. But it was him and he looked different as he became remains of a man, for he was utterly destroyed before them and he could not recognize anyone and the effect of torture was clear, the severe burns were clear on his body and some of his nails were taken away.
Umm Gamal ran to give him a cup of water but he could not stand, so, he hit the earth, thus, his mother tried to help him drink but the soldier kicked the cup with his foot, thus, it fell on the earth and was broken and the water flow on the floor. The mother begged him to let him drink for he was thirsty and she cried saying, “Please that is unfair. Let him drink, son.”
But the soldier told her screaming, “Let him tell us about the place of his friends first. Where are the saboteurs and the weapons?”
The soldier pulled him in a very tough manner and threatened to kill him if he did not confess, then, Gamal’s head went down as he could not raise it, but he bore with that and raised it but the soldier pulled him to the door and shoot him behind his ear and then followed that with many bullets in his head, killing him by that in front of his mother and Dana that was hysterically shocked. This was also in front of Dalal who screamed from her heart and fainted like Gamal’s mother, while Dana was left alone screaming and screaming with her uncle’s dead body after the sound of the bullets had hurt her hearing and after the blood of her uncle had hurt her sight.
On the roof, Sana’a heard the sound of the bullets, so, she shivered out of fear and was about to black out in the water tank in which she was about to drawn. However, her body was shaking not knowing who was killed from his family and who was injured from them. Sana’a gathered herself and went down with her wet clothes and she was shivering out of the bitter cold; she sneaked shaking with fear after hearing the soldier’s voice before leaving with his car saying, “Do not you move this body or approach it.”
The soldier darted with his car accompanied by the curses meanwhile the neighbors gathered to help this mother and this helpless family that lost one of its dearest youth.
Chapter Twenty-Five
A Special Stance
The occupation continued and its aggressive acts were continued torturing their people inside or outside Kuwait; everybody rejected the situation and everybody was tortured.
In Riyadh; this very nice and quite city the danger was doubled when this city became on the front line of confrontation with the enemy and from which many missiles were launched shaking it by that and, thus, people started to leave it for Qussaiem and Jeddah as the nice city became on the front.
The house next to Naiad’s where Laila and Souad lived was destroyed by a missile. The whole area was subject to destruction and there were opinions of going to Qussaiem or Jeddah.
But Mohammad, Naiad’s father rejected this idea, so, none moved away from his house; Mudhna and her children, Noura and her daughter and Masha’el were welcoming everybody and hosting them, and even the little children were very nice in dealing with Souad’s children as love and friendliness were characteristics of the people of that house and they would give their due care.
Laila and Masha’el did not have the chance to see each other’s fiancée. Naïf’ was staying all the time in the military hospital while Masha’el’s fiancée was an officer in the Saudi military forces that were on the alert. Souad never thought of leaving Riyadh though it was on the alert as some markets closed down as well as some shops, so, the country became as if empty.
The streets of the country were very gloomy and it was clear for everybody that Riyadh became on the front and it was the first country in which missiles’ attack was filmed. The city people were disturbed on knowing that the Iraqi forces attacked Al-Khafajy where fierce attack took place ending with cleaning the area from the aggressors’ forces. This made Sheikh Sabbah Ahmad Al-Jabir, deputy of Prime minister and foreign minister hail the fighting spirit shown by the Saudi and the Qatari forces while liberating this city. He said, “The participation of forces from the Gulf Cooperation Council in liberating Kuwait strengthened the Gulf relations and their unity in front of the aggressor.”
Souad did not show her pains as usual and she did not reveal her grief over Jassem after the message she received from the homeland by Jassem explaining that her father and nephew were kidnapped by the Iraqi forces and that they were captured. But reasonably, Souad knew how to hide her pains so, she tried not to express all her pain and she would also pray that God would protect everybody and protect their free country, Kuwait.
In fact, Souad believed that God would not let her down and that her father and nephew would come back, thus, she lived with her deep pain while having full control over her feelings. She did not want anyone to realize the pain she was suffering but she was keen to look normal so that she could help others be patient for the reality was horrible, so, they had to act wisely without surrendering to the conditions.
Souad was absorbed in her patriotic work with all her energy and power until she became very busy with it and forgot about herself, but she was worried and afraid as she was. She was obsessed with those feelings of fear about everybody; however, she was trying to hide those feelings so that she would not affect everybody around.
But suddenly she asked her aunt, mother of Jassem, her mother and Laila to allow her to listen to one of the songs of Awad Aldookhi as he would remind her of her father, but they all refused as they were worried about her and her nerves, because they knew she would cry bitterly esp. after knowing that her father was captured, but Souad begged them crying and saying, “You tell me I won’t listen to Aldookhi’s songs. No, I cannot. Do not deprive me of my father, as it is as if you are asking me not to drink tea or eat Hamour. It is as if you are asking me to throw My Lady magazine as it would remind me of Kuwait or as if you are asking me not to see the sea as it would remind me of Kuwait.”
At the end, they could not be as cruel to her as it was clear that she would die if her aunt did not give her the tape. Thus, her mother went to her sister and gave her the tapes, thus, Saad took them and sighed as she was given back life. She took them to her room and listened to all the songs she liked to listen to with her father when she was a child.
After this series of memories, Souad became at ease, so, she had control over herself once more and she enrolled with Laila in one of the committees formed by the Kuwaiti women and that was subordinate to the Kuwaiti-Saudi committee for citizen’s affairs; it was responsible for answering the needs after liberating Kuwait.
One day, her mother entered her room to find her crying, so, she tried to soothe her but it was no use trying to do so as Souad hugged her and went on crying shivering out of pain and saying, “I cannot stand that mother. I lost my father and husband. I cannot stand it mother.”
The mother was moved, and tried to calm her down though she, too, needed someone to calm her down and to alleviate her pains, but she could not do that, for it was Jassem who was talking to the doctors and telling them about the results of his contact with Health minister doctor Al-Fawzan who would give him the instructions re health care that Jassem would convey to the doctors inside the occupied Kuwait.
In fact, Jassem was endangered after the Iraqi forces had known everything about him and he should have left Kuwait as soon as possible. Frankly, many of his friends in the resistance and doctors tried to convince him of that but he refused as he was convinced that his patriotic role necessitated that he would stay there to help the injured who wanted him to stay there under the pretext that they were in dire need for his help to save their lives or maybe they feared he would be hurt while escaping.
Jassem rejected the idea for so long until the reservoir of the drugs that he was keeping in different secret places ran out, and until the equipment and the materials needed to do operations ran out, too, thus, there was nothing that would help Jassem practice medicine. At that time he became an ordinary man with no extra skills, so, Jassem should leave for he would do no help for the injured and for his life was threatened, too.
At last, the two brothers met Abdullah and Souad; they met in Saudi Arabia, so, Souad was somehow eased and she would feel a little bit safe and secured after seeing her brother, his family, Fadila and her mom after they had all arrived safely. She was reassured, too, when she heard news about her husband and her brother Badr telling her that they were O.K. in Kuwait. She sighed in comfort and asked God to increase His Blessings and help release her father and nephew and all those experiencing similar ordeals.
Dalal’s life was threatened, too. The Iraqi forces wanted her, too but she never hesitated to come to Jassem in Al-Rumaithyah and she would beg him saying, “Please Jassem. Leave before they would arrest you and you would receive the same fate of my brother, Adel who is tortured by them all day and night, or that of Gamal who they tortured until he was utterly destroyed, then they killed him in front of my mom. Please Jassem leave, do not give them the chance to torture or kill you. Do not hurt yourself. It is unfair that Kuwait would lose one of its great youth who would certainly benefit it. It is unfair Jassem.”
At that Jassem became weak in front of Dalal’s tears that would tear hearts to pieces, and he said, “O.K. Dalal, do not cry. I am leaving. By God, I am leaving as soon as possible. Take care. Do not return to your home now no matter how you miss Dana. You should not go back now to put your life at danger, please don’t.”
Jassem bid Dalal farewell and he was convinced that she changed and he whispered to himself saying, “Dalal has changed. I cannot believe that she is begging me to leave and saying that I should take into consideration my wife and kids. I cannot believe myself. Has she changed to that extent? Does war change people like that?”
Jassem was absorbed in his thoughts for a while he was wondering about the state to which Dalal reached and wondering how her conditions changed and how events changed her character. He was thinking about her feeling great pains for her after she had lost her elder brother Gamal whom her daughter loved and who was as if a father to her. Also, her brother Adel was arrested and at that time he was being tortured and it was said he saw Gamal at the police station and they were tortured together.
Jassem realized that Badr was calling upon him while Dalal was sneaking to another shelter carefully while dressed in black and thinking of nothing but her daughter Dana of whom she was deprived due to the events though she needed her so much as she was disturbed and her stepmother was suffering the same though the seriousness of the case vary, and even Sana’a was tortured by the pains of her kidney.
Dalal could not control herself, and she could not stop the tears that were flowing over her cheeks for she did not know how to control her longing for her beloved little daughter, Dana. She was about to be eaten with the feeling of guilt towards her.
In fact, Dalal was convinced of her patriotic role and of her duty towards her country and she would not hesitate to do any mission she would be tasked with but at the same time she was a mother who longed for her orphaned daughter who was living alone in a house filled with the ghosts of panic, destruction and torture.
Dalal would imagine Dana living there afraid and panicked with no one to care for her or to drive away her fears and reassure her or soothe her when she would cry, this is because, her sister Sana’a would also panic and she would run to the roof whenever she would hear any sound and then she would think in the water tank.
Dalal knew that her mother and Umm Gamal were not in a good state and she knew that Dana would stay all alone in the house not knowing where to go or with whom to talk or whom she would hug to drive away her fears and to provide her with the feeling of security and safety she needed.
Dalal wept and kept weeping while invoking God that He would grant her life and would make her survive for her orphaned daughter that needed her to raise and take care of her, for there was none to take care of her if she was away. Dalal was suffering in a sea of worries and sorrows not knowing how to console herself.
Some of the youth of the resistance conveyed the information to Jassem and they told him that Abdullah arrived in Saudi Arabia safely, and they told him about a military piece of information that there was a Kuwaiti army of 18,000 soldiers who were there in Saudi Arabia as a part of the multi-national forces let alone the 20,000 Kuwaiti soldiers who were there in the front lines. He was also informed that Abdullah his sister’s husband joined the battalion of the Martyr along with his cousin Ibraheem. Jassem also knew that his little cousin joined the air force of the Kuwaiti army that was there in Hafr Al-Baten in Saudi Arabia after knowing that the forces were centered there.
There was no way else Jassem as the wise way was that he would hit the roads leaving for keeping himself safe in that case was a patriotic duty that he should perform, but how to leave while all the ways were watched and the control points were there all along the roads? There were 100 meter between each control point, so, how would he survive esp. as Jassem was wanted and he was famous as he was a sports’ star and his pictures were known to everybody.
He should play a trick then, and Badr the one who would work miracles should interfere to put a perfect plan that would guarantee that Jassem would leave safely and would come out of that hazard that was endangering him safely esp. after they had known that the invasion forces were looking for him everywhere, as they want to arrest him as soon as possible and after they spread publications about his features including pictures of him that were distributed to all the control points, so, it was impossible for him to leave.
Badr came up with a brilliant idea and the circumstances as well as the conditions helped him in that, for Abdullah, his brother, had forged many IDs one of them was of an officer in the Iraqi Special Forces that he used when he saved Jassem and the youth of the resistance before in Kifan.
Abdullah was very skilled at that and this was proven as he forged many IDs for some of the wanted figures by the Iraqi forces that could not reach them after having those forged Ids and after they had assumed new characters of simple ordinary men who were not the focus of the forces.
Badr set a perfect plan and he did not want to talk about its details to anyone for the Iraqi forces were attacking the youth of the resistance and they would kill anyone whom they would suspect, and the execution would be in public arenas, so, there was nothing that would stop him as the Iraqi forces were attacking the houses frequently and the would break into them and would blow up buildings on their inhabitants.
Thus, he had to leave before they would arrest him for time was not playing for them at all. This was what preoccupied Badr most and this was the greatest challenge to his abilities as an artist who mastered the art of mimicking and imitation as he was also creative and able to do that in any way. It was almost the only challenge in Badr’s whole life to infiltrate the borders safely along with Jassem in spite of the restrictions and the extreme security measure on all the roads, the bridges, control points and passage points.
Badr arranged everything and Jassem surrendered to his will and that of the youth of the resistance, so, he rid himself of anything that would refer to his real identity and wore a different kind of dark clothes and tied a red shawl to his forehead so that no one would think that he was a sport’s man or a footballer for his picture was almost known to the officials of the occupation forces who distributed it to all the control points.
Badr tried also to change Jassem’s features a little but all his efforts were in vain as the make up he used in that ran out. What a bad luck? They had to leave Kuwait as soon as possible and they had to save Jassem for the news plagued everywhere that doctor Jassem al-Nasser was wanted by the Iraqi forces as he was one of the main heads of resistance.
It was a tough challenge as Badr had nothing of the disguise materials to use in saving Jassem or to change his famous features that were known by heart for everybody, thus, they had to think of another way.
Badr asked for a chicken, a rope, a piece of wood, and some papers. He slaughtered the chicken, put some of its blood on Jassem’s face and clothes, then he tied his hands behind his back so as to look as if he was coming out of a torturing room, then he used some of the black color that resulted from burning the wood and the papers. How brilliant of you, Badr.
Badr wore the clothes of the Special Forces officer with his ID while Jassem was thrown in the black Mercedes with the military plates sleeping on the back seat pretending to be weak and suffering out of the pain caused by the shaking of the car. Badr came near the first point of control and he did not care to stop, rather, he looked into the soldiers’ eyes and continued moving with the car while they were saluting him militarily and in reverence.
That way Badr passed many control points and luck was with him all the way as all those who stood there were nothing but ordinary soldiers who would blindly obey the officers of the Special Forces of the Republican Guards. Those officers’ orders were not discussed and they would not be questioned in any situation. Thus, they only had to obey them blindly without thinking of refusing to obey their orders no matter how strange those orders were. They only had to obey, for the least in rank must obey those above.
But there was a control point where there were some of the ranked officers among whom there was a lieutenant, a lieutenant general and a brigadier. They were stopping many cars on the way and Badr stop for a while during which one of them came and stared inside the car.
The officer stared at Jassem’s face as he was laying while the officer was checking some papers in his hands; the officer was shifting between the papers and the Jassem, then the officer called upon the officers calling them to approach the car, then he examined Jassem’s features whose features were published and distributed to all the control points all over Kuwait as he was wanted dead or alive.
Chapter 26
Bleeding love
Badr trembles with anger quickly opens the back window, where the officer was bending and staring at Jassem’s face, in a quick move Badr turns to him still leaning towards the car, spits violently on his face, he backs off at once in fear, moving back fast. The other entire officers freeze, no matter what their ranks, they don’t dare to approach the black Mercedes driven by the young intelligence officer, who belongs to the Republican Party, whose members are very close to Saddam Hussein.
Badr starts the car, barely manages to drive through the numerous cars all around him, sounding the horn with its loud disturbing confusing noise, and eventually puts his foot down, driving the car as fast as possible. Miraculously passes all the other checkpoints, in the very same way, by sulkiness, swearing in a perfect Iraqi dialect, spitting on others faces, and so on, until the car makes it to the desert, where Badr knows the road by heart.
And at this point, Jassem jumps from the backseat to the front, hugs Badr strongly, happily, and with gratitude. The two of them share a brotherly warm hug full of all kinds of human feelings that is hard to describe, or explains, or justify…God does as He will… Thank God…
Then, Badr stops the car, gets out, opens a couple of water bottles, pours it so Jassem could wash up and clean the blood off his face and hands, and changes his clothes covered with the blood of the slain chicken.
Before the car makes it to Al-Salemi’s checkpoint, Badr doesn’t forget to change the Iraqi intelligence officer’s clothes, and throws it in the desert, letting it be covered by yellow sands carried by the wild wind of the winter, and along with the clothes he throws the fake identity, and gets back his real identity, a Kuwaiti young man, who adores Kuwait, and ready to sacrifice his life for his home.
Jassem makes it to the kingdom of Saudi Arabia, where he’s finds love, serenity, passion, and warm welcome. He and Badr meet the family in Naive’s house, they all meet there, and tears start falling, feelings are let out as there’s no space for keeping in the sadness, sorrow, and pain. Everyone weeps over the grave disasters that befell them, like Faisal’s death, the capture of Mansour and the good fellows, Abdullah’s and Jassem’s fathers.
In fact, that bewildering passionate meeting was heart-breaking, affectionate, and touching. Sadness was overwhelming everyone, everyone was crying in a heart-breaking way. No one managed to stop this sorrow from taking over all the feelings, no one knew. No one could! Even Naïf couldn’t keep himself out of it; he too shed tears as he saw the warm hugs between Abdullah, Jassem and Badr who met after a long painful separation.
After everyone calmed down, doctor Jassem bids doctor Naïf farewell, as he does the same with everyone in the house, including Souad, who hoped and wished to live all her life with Jassem with no farewell.
But it’s the war, and the current crisis that is affecting them all, hurting, torturing, tormenting, and separating them. Now here it is, the crisis is separating Souad and her husband, her beloved one who she barely believed she’d see him again after all the separation, fear, and agony.
The little ones suffered as much as adults because of this war, here they are standing in bewildered sorrow, confused and moved by leaving their father, they gather around him, hugging and kissing him, while Jassem tried to look happy, and overwhelm the sadness inside him. He takes Rakan between his arms… Rakan was crying. He wanted to go with his daddy, after he felt he was leaving the house, and leaving him again.
Anwar was also sad about leaving her father while asking him for something as a present for her incoming birthday, she says: “Daddy, please make Saddam let Mansour go to be at my birthday, tell him Anwar is telling you that she wants Mansour, why is he keeping him?! Tell him to let go of my grandpa, your dad. And mom’s dad too, so she’d stop crying. Make them all return, don’t forget daddy. Ok? Jassem kisses her passionately saying as he leaves: “Okay. Whatever you say sweetheart.”
As for Ahmed, he was standing there silent and gloomy; he knows his dad was going to fight a hard war against a merciless brutal enemy. He prayed that God would watch over him, and make him return safe and sound, and victorious.
Ahmed doesn’t forget to give his dad a version of the Koran that he bought for him specially. Hugs him so hard, shakes his hand, bids him farewell as he’d do to a hero.
Jassem leaves to his meeting with the secretary of defense Sheikh Nawaf Al-Ahmad, who tells them that the Kuwaiti army has almost finished preparing two brigades for the liberation battle, and that one of them is already stationed at the Kuwaiti borders. Jassem joins one of them as an army doctor, while Badr and Abdullah joined the Kuwaiti public resistance, who were getting military training in preparation for the liberation battle.
Days pass by, rather still, days moved as slow as a one legged turtle that is lost, without a destination or a direction. Everyone suffered the slow pace of days, that no one could tell when do they start or when do they end… No one knows what the days could bring unto them.
The women stays at home in Riyadh wearing black, soaked in anticipation and tears, while the men were at their posts full of hope, waiting, looking forward for that day when they’ll participate in liberating their land, and freeing their home from the vile occupier, and give justice back to their homeland.
As the days pass, the hope grows larger as it embraces people’s hearts, they become full of warmth despite the cold winter that was so chilling that year. Yet, hearts still longed for making the dream come true by getting rid of this abominable occupation spreading evil all around it, sowing betrayal, injustice, and aggression, and grows the thorny walls of pain, transgression, and agony.
It’s like ropes strangling one’s freedom, imposed barriers between one and the beautiful dream of liberation, deliverance, and salvation. It’s the everlasting sweet dream, that humans would once again be that humans.
The night comes, bringing along obscure darkness, creeping all around, making the winter colder still, and the gray skies become darker after oil wells were burnt. Six wells were burnt in Al-Ahmadi as a drill for burning wells, and then it escalated until eventually 618 were burnt, 462 of which were totally destroyed.
Oil flows because of this havoc from 77 wells, the water of the gulf now has over 200 oil lakes. With thickness that varies between 10 centimeters to 2 meters. Dear God. What treachery is this! How can one do his brothers wrong that much! How painful it is when man is full of animosity that he burns the fortunes of prosperity and flourishing!
The smell of burnt oil starts surrounding people that it’s almost suffocating them, bunkers and fortifications are built all over the Kuwaiti coast, while explosive mines are planted in the desert! Everything was painted black, it’s all dark, and electricity is gone, night and day are equally cold and dark, and what made life harder was the lack of water, and the continuous unlimited fear all the time.
Dalal was in such a pitiful shape after her brother Jamal died, and her other brother Adel disappeared, she didn’t hear anything about him since the day he went to her house to bury her grandmother. Adel disappeared, along with all the guys who accompanied him, whom never returned to their parents. Yet she heard some rumors that he was transferred to a prison in Basra after being tortured in Hawli’s police station.
It wasn’t only Adel who has been tortured; Dalal was tortured too by her sister Sanaa’s illness. She suffered from tormenting pain in the kidney due to her constant exposure to wetness in the tank above the roof, whose water was almost freezing because of the chilling winter. Truly, Dalal too was suffering because of the terrible health conditions surrounding her, that got even worse after Jassem and Badr left for Saudi Arabia.
Dalal went through very hard days after they left, she constantly lived in horror and fear, she was accused of spying on the invading troops stationed at “February 25th high school for girls” in Al Rametheya, and she was also accused of trying to smuggle arms to resistance forces over there. She ran out of the house, and hid again in Bayan district, after knowing that the Iraqi forces are searching for her in particular. It was impossible to continue staying in her house in Al-Adeleya, after all the men left, and women were left all by themselves without a man to protect them.
God is there. God is with us.
After days and weeks has passed in that chilly winter, and after all attempts to persuade Saddam Hussein of withdrawal and sparing the bloodshed, and after the deadline for the warning was at hand… Dana wakes up one day screaming in fright and horror, because of the explosions that were starting to outburst all over.
Fear was dominant and overwhelming; fires erupted in hotels and schools that were used as a special forces’ ammunition depots. It wasn’t only Dana who was in fear; everyone in the house had the same feeling.
Evidently, no one slept in the warning day. Resistance was still fighting till the last minute, defiance continued; walls were still full of patriotic slogans that were written overnight to blind the eyes of the aggressors by daytime tormenting them.
Kuwait is for the Kuwaitis, no ruler but Jabir, our Kuwait is free
All for Kuwait and Kuwait for all of us. Long live Jabir and Saad
O Kuwait, your pride is ours, and Kuwaiti is my name.
We’ll die for Kuwait, God, Country, and the prince.
Night falls again, and the will of a free proud nation rises, rejecting aggression, refusing to yield f
or humiliation. A nation that knows no despair, a nation that would rather die so that the country would live. Long live Kuwait. Long live Kuwait…
Despite the darkness, the walls at home still glittered with words of light, right, and hope. Electricity is cutoff, candles are lit, hearts sparkle, gleaming with the light of faith. God is the greatest. God is the greatest.
Rain, cold, bangs of machineguns continued to rattle the ears, haunting souls with its noise. Night knows no cries for help, it only knows the explosions, the scattering noises that trembles the earth and buildings, shaking doors and windows, and frightening everyone.
Dana’s cries become louder and louder, become tormenting and haunting as she runs after Dalal’s mother all around the house, searching for a shelter as they do, for a place to hide. She’s too scared being away from her mother, her mother that doesn’t dare to come home for her, take her in her arms, comfort her, solace her, take her fear and terror away.
As for Sanaa who cared and loved Dana, she was still hiding over the roof, surrounded by darkness in the night and in the daytime, raindrops falling on her greasy and slippery because of the burnt oil. She too is scared, can’t go down to the house in fear of detention by Saddam’s soldiers, who knows no mercy, and would even rape her.
Black clouds of burnt oil rise, the ruckus of military vehicles and tanks is heard as they moved in hysterical chaos, after Bush’s final warning that was 48 hours long, and it was going to end by midnight, this very night… and what a night it was!
The commander of allied forces General Norman Schwarzkopf and his Royal Highness field marshal Khaled Ibn Sultan Ibn Abdul-Aziz commander of the allied forces trigger the attack signal to wage the multi-phase ground attack to liberate Kuwait.
God is the greatest. God is the greatest.
The liberation battle starts; everyone hears the sounds of guns, bombs, and the barrage. The American fleet bombards the Kuwaiti coasts. The marines and the allied forces start penetrating the Iraqi defenses, while the air force is flying all over Kuwait.
The allied forces penetrate the eastern area, and the marines move to the west, the first Iraqi defense line falls without showing much resistance. The battle goes on, and the fear erupts that these forces will be targeted by Iraqi artillery. Before the nightfall of February 24th, these forces manage to penetrate the second defense line, while the Iraqi artillery continued the bombardment.
The biggest ground battle in history continues. The ground attack to liberate Kuwait goes on… Jassem proceeds along with the allied forces in his military uniform, and his finer on the trigger, while Khaled his cousin flies in one of the air raids to bomb Kuwait, with tearful eyes and tormented heart, he’s bombing his homeland. His tears are shed as he greets Kuwait below him. He wishes to kiss its soil, to lay his foot on its dust after the long separation, and out of deep love and yearning.
People shed tears in happiness and joy, the cheers for liberation war mixes with weeping and crying. People sit in shelters listening to broadcasts from all over the world, while the children cheer for seeing fighter planes bombarding the enemy, waging the war on the aggressor. Thank God. Thank God for everything there’s a time, and for every aggressor there’s an end, no matter how long it takes.
In these crucial hours, the third Iraqi legion withdraws to Kuwait city, and combined with the occupation forces already in the city, they start robbing and plundering. Military vehicles and buses move all over the city, detaining people in the crowded parts of the city.
The Iraqi occupation forces kept destroying the governmental institutions, public buildings, and the House of Representatives while the Iraqi military vehicles kept pulling back along the north highway that became a road of death due to the strong bombardments and strikes.
The spokesman of the allied forces, general “Richard” says that the Iraqi occupation forces has carried out a series of executions during the past few hours, many Kuwaitis were put to death, especially those who were tortured, and that is to hide any evidence for torturing operations.
The bombardment continues as Sanaa watches its flashing from above the roof, crying still praying from the bottom of her broken heart. Here she is, widowed, after the death of her husband the officer, he died in the army camps battles in Jiwan when the enemy invaded Kuwait, and now she’s getting sick because of her kidney.
She continues to pray with a broken heart, asking God to grant Kuwait victory, and freedom, and lay mercy on her brother Jamal, and give her back her brother Adel, and give her health and recovery from this pain she’s suffering from her and her mother, and her aunt, she prays that God would protect Dana and her mother, her beloved sister Dalal.
The sounds row louder, a loud noise and ruckus is heard right outside the house, more sounds of military vehicles is heard, and the voices of defeated soldiers calling out for one another in bewilderment and bafflement vehicles start moving in a chaotic hasty way.. Dalal’s mother kept watching from her place behind the bedroom window curtains in the second floor, then goes down to the yard, then runs inside again in fear of being hit by shrapnel of the continuous bombardment.
In that moment, Dalal was in Bayan district still in her hideout, not knowing what to do. She was almost dying out of fear for her daughter Dana, and her conscious as a mother is tormenting her for leaving her daughter in such a crucial time. Oh, Dana must be frightened now. .she is for sure she doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t know!
Dalal falls to a hysterical crying fit. Oh, why did she remember Jassem in that moment? She doesn’t even know what kind of a feeling does she have for him now, its not love for sure, and not craving, and then what could it be? Why is she thinking of Jassem in that time in particular? She doesn’t know. Maybe because Dana loves him, or maybe because she needs him as a replacement father to give her passionate fatherly support and care, such a feeling that she needed so much. Maybe because having a strong responsible man beside her in that moment was the thing she needed the most in those crucial moments, especially when remembering the death of her brother Jamal, whom Dana loved so much.
The weird thing is. that in the very same moment, Souad was thinking of Jassem as well, thinking of how much she needed him, and how much his children need to have him with them. They started seeing the news on television, the reports about the battle were broadcasted continuously, reassuring and calming them, raising hope, and diminishing fear, anticipation, and worry.
Laila prays from the bottom of her heart that her home would be free once again, and prays for the protection of the heroes fighting this battle, praying they’d all return home safely by the will of God by the will of God. Laila prays for everyone, and for her fiancé doctor Naïf who’s carrying out his patriotic duty of helping the injured in the battlefield. Naive’s sister Masha’el was praying too, wishing everyone would return safely and that war won’t take them, praying that God would protect her fiancé the officer in the Saudi ground forces, hoping he’d return to her safely.
The time passes slowly, and everyone is in anticipation for the decisive moment, hope embraces the souls that long for it, wanting it so much. The moment they waited for was so crucial; it’s the moment of liberating Kuwait. Everyone trembled waiting to hear the news. It’s the precious wish that has all the dreams of the frustrated ones. It’s the anticipation for the happy days and the new hope… and what a suffering it is to wait!
Everyone waits in anticipation for the news that would make them alive once again, minutes pass and hearts pound with them. It’s this unexplainable strength that is seen in time, the strength of faith and the certainty that rights will be returned. Thank God. Thank God, the Lord of the universe.
Kuwaitis keep listening over and over again to the speech of his royal highness, the prince that he gave on waging the liberation war. Hearts are filled with joy, and happiness, they keep listening to his words when he addressed the Kuwaiti people, “Dear brothers and sisters, Now we have to look for the future with hope, let our hearts be filled with faith, and our souls with confidence, and let us become one hand that would build Kuwait again, full of light and good, spreading love, brotherhood, and peace in all its land, and amongst its friends. May God Almighty show us the right path, for He is Lord, and He is the grantor of victory.
May peace and blessings of God be with you”
The battle continues with all weapons and ammunitions. Counter artillery of the enemy bombs the troops advancing to liberate Kuwait, among them there was Jassem moving forward full of joy and love, full of hope, enthusiasm, and pride. He was honored to take part in the liberation battle. The battle goes on, and seconds lingers becoming more like years.
In Riyadh, everyone sits and follows the battle events’ news, full of worry and anticipation, still. Souad falls asleep for a while, she was too tired and exhausted, and didn’t sleep for a long time, then she wakes up frighten, full of tears, and trembling so hard, feeling she’s almost suffocating. Her heart trembles, ad a mysterious terrible fear fills her vague terrifying feelings that she doesn’t know their source haunt her, and every bit of her is full of worry and overwhelming sorrow that is more like a burning fire. She cries out, “Jassem, Jassem, something went wrong, something went wrong!”
A short while after that, doctor Naïf comes out from the doctors’ room in Riyadh military hospital headed for carrying out another surgery for those wounded in the battlefield.
Yet, doctor Naïf pauses in bewilderment and amazement to that wounded face soaked in blood, covered with bandages that still showed a bit of his features. That man lying before him was his close friend… Jassem Al-Nasser!
Chapter 27
Stars of Liberty
They were sudden and crucial moment. Yet Naïf gets himself together quickly, gives instructions for the preparations of the surgery, and summons many assistant surgeons to help him during this long procedure to extract the shrapnel from Jassem’s body.
It was a very long procedure, Jassem was doing his bed to save the life of his friend and comrade, shrapnel was scattered all over the young body, the muscles were ripped, and many wounds were caused even a vertebra was injured.
It was one of the most complicated and dangerous surgeries, because the risk here was much bigger, tension increased because the wounded is a dear, close friend one of the best friends Naïf ever had.
Jassem was wounded gravely in the battle due to the explosion of a shell fired by the Iraqi artillery, which spread shrapnel in over 20 places in his body shedding his blood. Luckily it wasn’t lethal because he wasn’t in the effective range of the explosion, but it affected his hands and legs, gave him a temporary paralysis, kept him from using his hands and legs properly.
Despite his wounds, he pushed himself and tried to continue his duty of helping others, but eventually his endurance led him to giving up, and made it indispensable that he’s to be given medical care, after he used to give it to others.
Her colleagues carried him to the nearest sandbag wall, and called the headquarters for an ambulance. The hazards of being hit by the enemy fire didn’t affect them at all, for all they cared for was saving their physician friend whose skillful fingers have always helped in saving and curing their comrades wounded in the battlefield.
Eventually, they managed to get their friend to the nearest medical post, where he was given first aid, and due to the severity of his wounds, he was transferred to the nearest hospital.
Jassem was taken on a medical helicopter to the base hospital, and then transferred to the military hospital in Riyadh. The doctor who was with him called to report the case before they arrived and he was unconscious because of the continuous bleeding.
The helicopter lands, Jassem is transferred by ambulance to a trolley that takes him to the operation’s room, where his close friend Naïf saw him, and later on performed that complicated surgery, during which it turned out that most of the shrapnel penetrated the nerves. After the examinations it turned out that he needs many surgeries to extract the shrapnel and suture the nerve to stop the inner bleeding, also to make sure the liver and the spleen weren’t ruptured.
Naïf comes home in his military uniform, everyone hears the army jeep coming, he walks in quickly and sulky. Souad gets goose bumps expecting to hear news she never wished to hear, and her thoughts haunted her, frightening and terrifying her. “May God make it well. May God make it well.”
Everything is turned upside down, the word is spread like fire in the hay, everyone knows that Jassem Al-Nasser was wounded severely, and that he’s almost dying in these moments, in the intensive care room in Riyadh military hospital.
Actually, the surgery performed by doctor Naïf was very difficult, and required a lot of skill and capability, he extracted over 20 of the shrapnel in Jassem’s body, yet some of it couldn’t be extracted, and he agreed with his colleagues on leaving them as they were, so they won’t cause Jassem more pain, till the right time comes for extracting them.
Doctor Naïf left some of the shrapnel after agreeing on that with his colleagues, because they thought that’s the best thing to do given Jassem’s case, although they knew leaving them might cause some side effects and cause Jassem paralysis for some time, but they thought it was the best thing to do, because extracting them all would be too much for his abilities, and might even kill him.
Yes… doctor Naïf was able to give the maximum medical help possible, and after he felt that he’s done all what he can for his friend, and that there’s nothing left to do except waiting for the physiotherapy to strengthen the back muscles that the orthopedic consultant thought was necessary, doctor Naïf started to make the arrangements for that in a specialized hospital in the united states.
With the courtesy and calmness of a faithful friend and doctor, with no exaggerations or over-reacting, Naïf told Souad about the Jassem’s medical status as it was stated in the medical report he gave her. She took it with trembling hands, and hardly started to read:
Medical Report
Name: Jassem Ahmed Al-Nasser
Nationality: Kuwait
D.O.B: 28 October 1955
Martial status: Married
Diagnosis: ………
Souad was reading the diagnosis that included Jassem’s examinations, including the computerized topography (CT) on dorsal and lumbar vertebrae results, while she started crying, tears filling her eyes that she couldn’t read but one horrible word, paralysis! Paralysis! paralysis!!
Doctor Naïf advises Souad to stay by Jassem during his treatment in the states, he explains how necessary is it that she stays with him during that time, because he’ll be in need for that tenderness that only Souad could give, especially that he’ll know very soon he became unable to continue carrying on his duty, and helping his fighter friends.
Evidently, Jassem didn’t realize the severity of his injure in spite of being a doctor, he didn’t realize his mental status, so he told himself often that he’d soon be walking again, and he’d return to carrying out his duty towards his fellow warriors, yet he was shocked to discover he can’t move his feet, his lets, and even his fingers.
In that time, after the word about Jassem was spread, prayers have been invoked by people who loved Jassem more than they loved themselves; everyone prayed that God may grant him health and long life. Souad’s tears keep falling like raindrops, sorrow is mixed by weeping and hopes, prayers are prayed in tears and crying, everyone is praying for Jassem to make it through this hard time, the elderly and the children.
Sorrow mixes with joy, as Kuwait was being liberated, recovering, getting rid of the aggressors’ traces, and Jassem is still lying unconscious, unable to witness the joy of freedom for which he yearned for from the bottom of his heart, and that he wanted to participate in, but. Fate had other plans, for here he is, lying in bed, crippled and paralyzed, unable to move a muscle.
Strange contradicting feelings, varying from deep sorrow, and fear for Jassem, to comfort and thrill for Kuwait’s liberation from the enemy, the enemy that was defeated and withdrew, after all Arab and international media broadcasted the news, and after the Iraqi regime president ordered his army to withdraw from Kuwait at once.
God is the greatest. God is the greatest. The news is too good to be true.
Broadcasts are repeating the news,” The Iraqi president has ordered his army to withdraw at once from Kuwait.”
God, Country, the prince. God, Country, the prince
Long live Kuwait, Long live Kuwait.
Dalal bursts in crying as she hugs her mother, who couldn’t stop uttering trills of joy, while Dana kept twirling laughing and crying in the same time, and Sanaa kept reading Qur’anic verses for her martyred husband and her heroic brother whom she could still recall the scene of his blood on the floor. Her mother couldn’t speak or move, yet she kept crying and weeping.
It was a sleepless night for everyone, everyone wants to make sure the word is true, but for their detriment, all phone lines were cut off! Everyone stays up that night in anticipation, and then the dawn comes the dawn of freedom, deliverance, and victory! The sun rises shining with joy and freedom, the sun of life.
Neighbors knock on their door shouting and cheering loudly in genuine joy. Kuwait is free. Kuwait is free! Thank God. Thank God.
Dalal, Sanaa and Dana walks out and joins the neighbors who gathered in the street and in the yard to exchange congratulations for the liberation of their country, raising flags, pictures of the prince and the crown prince, slogans and cheers are uttered from the bottom of their hearts. Long live Kuwait. Long live Jabir. Long live Saad.
Days pass and Dalal gets soaked up in working for a crippled care institution, she follows up on Dana’s case who got stutter because of the war tragic events, she needed medical care. Dalal was also busy following up on her mom who was found to be emotionally unstable, and needed to be admitted into a sanitarium for treatment as soon as Kuwaiti hospitals regain their lost equipments, and become functional again.
Dalal herself was in need to get herself together after this hard time; it affected her drastically, and changed her all over. And now that it was over and everything is getting back to normal, she needed to patch it up.
In deed, everything was getting back to normal, arrangements were taken to return the Kuwaitis outside the borders to their homeland, and life was getting normal again after the ultimate cease fire in the gulf war.
In Saudi Arabia, his majesty king Fahad Ibn Abdul-Aziz receives his royal highness the crown prince and the Prime Minister Sheikh Saad Abdullah Al-Sabbah and says, “The recent events have proved that Kuwait and Saudi Arabia have amiability and friendship that never changed, yet strengthened by these events, and will grow stronger than it ever was.”
While his royal highness the crown prince and the prime minister confirms how proud is Kuwait– both government and people- of the Saudi king’s stand from the Iraqi aggression on Kuwait as he says, “The relationship between Saudi Arabia and Kuwait will grow closer and stronger in all fields, economical, military, political, and security fields.”
Truly, the war witnessed heroic stands that will go down in history, and here it is Desert Storm is evidently a legend of the allied forces’ heroes. So said the vice commander in chief general Khaled Jabir Al-Sabbah, who raised the Kuwaiti flag on the first portion of the Kuwaiti territory that was liberated, which was Al-Noayeseb, a Kuwaiti border checkpoint in which the Kuwaitis prayed to thank God, embraced the land whom they yearned for and wished to lay foot on once again. Thank God… Kuwait is back… Kuwait is back.
That was what general Khaled Jabir Al-Sabbah did, who took part in the military operations that set Kuwait free, with the leadership of general Schwarzkopf, and his royal highness field marshal Khaled Ibn Sultan Ibn Abdul-Aziz, whose attitudes throughout the war reflected the humane, religious, Arab stances. Alongside other leaders from Britain, France, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and other friendly countries of the gulf@, whether in the operation room, or elite commanders, or in the planning and preparation phase.
Native Kuwaitis who participated in this war had a major role, for everyone considered martyrdom as a patriotic duty, and the joy was overwhelming and indescribable when the allied forces advanced and embraced the Kuwaiti soil, where the Kuwaiti flag was raised in a magnificent celebration downtown, with the participation of the Kuwaiti armed forces, who sang the national anthem with the people who gathered to express their joy, clapping, shouting, and cheering in overwhelming bliss after the victory.
The Kuwait flag is raised in Al-Safa court, where the allied forces entered Kuwait accompanied by the Kuwaiti national resistance forces, among which Badr, Abdullah, and their cousin Ibraheem stood amidst the cheering of the numerous crowds that were overwhelmed by this great victory. Thank God. Thank God.
Cars kept moving expressing joy every where, waving the Kuwaiti flags raised unvanquished under the Kuwaiti sky, and the free waters of the gulf embraces the Kuwaiti soil, congratulating the people… a marvelous picture of happiness given to hearts that waited for that moment for so long. The moment when the homeland would be free again, the moment when men would utter the call for prayer in bliss:
God is the greatest. God is the greatest.
Thank God. Finally the dream has come true, the dream of returning to the free Kuwait. Khaled was one of those who dreamt of returning to the free homeland, he sensed his home from above despite the dark clouds surrounding his fighter plane. He was in tears dreaming of the moment in which he’d lay foot on the homeland again, the land for which he yearned for so long while flying above it, bombing the posts of the aggressing enemy.
Unfortunately, his long awaited dream never came true, his plane was lost during a raid and never made it back to the airbase, and he was considered missing in action that sacrificed his life for the country.
And on the home land, the real love connecting people sparkled, in a moment of genuine and honest love, an overwhelming amazing moment in which men were cheering and rejoicing, while women kept uttering trills of joys spreading bliss, happiness, and hope.
Kuwaitis gathered and joined the allied troops by the American embassy, took pictures with the soldiers, gave them souvenirs and candies while the flags of Kuwait and the United States were raised. It’s the greatest joy ever. Thank God. Praise be to God.
Everyone is happy, everyone is rejoicing, but. Sanaa was still in tears, she can’t keep her feelings in, she bursts in tears, runs towards Saddam’s picture shelling it with rocks, crying over her elder brother Jamal who was killed by the tyrant’s soldiers, and her younger brother Adel who was captured by Saddam’s demons. During all this sorrow and grieve, Sanaa looks up to the sky, praying and wishing that God would protect Kuwait, and the people of Kuwait.
Cheers continue, and parades go on, moving all around full of joy of liberation, the spark of joy moves to many Arab and international capitals where Kuwaiti natives gathered expressing their joy, coming right out from the bottom of their heart. Thank God. Kuwait is free again. Thank God.
During that time in which joy of liberation overwhelmed most of the Arab and international capitals, a tremendous gathering of Kuwaitis and Egyptians paraded in Arab League Street, in Al-Mohandeseen, Cairo, alongside many other Arab nationals who joined the Kuwaitis in their rejoicing. How sweet are the happy moments!
Everyone in the avenue was competing in cheering, dancing, singing, raising flags and slogans, and Jamal’s father was among those cheering for the liberation of Kuwait. Waving his shawl in one hand, dancing, and in the other hand waving the Kuwait flag, forgetting his grieve for his two sons, the martyr Jamal, and the captured Adel.
Despite sorrow and grieve, joy was so overwhelming and astonishing. Happiness embraced hearts giving them hope that thins will be made right once again, and that tomorrow will be full of love, giving, happiness, and prosperity.
The joy for liberating Kuwait was still expressed in all streets of Kuwait; the Kuwaiti flags were raised high in Al-Safa court, waving under the sky of the homeland, above the heads of the nation’s sons, and the nation’s friends, the courageous men who liberated the land, and the people.
In those sweet decisive moments, all voices unite, sings from the bottom of their heart those genuine words:
O Kuwait, my homeland, May you always be glory
For in your features I see the gestures of joy…
O land of the grandfathers, who wrote the legends of grandeur…
That the stars called out, praise to God. What Arabs they are…
Mounted the stars to the eternal heavens.
O Kuwait, my homeland, May you always be glory
For in your features I see the gestures of joy.
Chapter 28
Haunting Torment.
Dalal walks into her house in Al-Salemiyah. She looks in silent gloom and sorrow to the dark mute walls, and the remaining furniture scattered all over the place. Dalal stares again at the floor, recalls her mother and her grandmother, and what happened to them. She remembers how they looked after this bloody incursion. Despite the chilling winter, her face drips with hot sweat, she wipes them with her trembling fingertips, the drops fall on her skin, as if it’s drowning her in a flood of aching memories that she can not bear. Her tears start falling, and she just doesn’t know how to stop them.
Dalal stands still. In fearful solitude she watches the wide hall, feeling it as a small metal box, squeezing, crushing and shattering her into pieces, though she knows these walls no longer belong to the occupiers, and that they’re freed from Saddam’s demons, those merciless villains who made the house a dungeon for torture, horror, and humiliation.
Yes, even the air in the house still carried the tormenting memory. Oh, what unbearable surroundings! Fear was still in the windows, doors, and walls! Dalal looks in despise and loathe at the broken chairs, the smashed sofas, and the burnt torn curtains, she looks around having this feeling she must change all this furniture that carries the memories of the occupation. The remnants are still full of pain, distress, and deep sadness.
Indeed, the traces of occupation, the tormenting aggression, and the mortifying humiliation were still there haunting one’s soul and aching the heart. The remnants are still there, even if whatever caused the torture is now one, here are the empty vials, that only God knows if they were full of morphine or Aids! And here are the razors and cigarette butts spread all over the place, alongside sharp knives, wires, plasters, and shreds of torn clothes stained with dry blood. And here are the ropes they used to tie the captives up! Here are metal rods, iron handcuffs, broken glasses, and the list goes on and on.
Dalal runs to the bathroom, throws up, vomiting all what’s in her stomach. She rests against the wall, catching her breath still feeling disgusted that her stomach is aching and her head is almost bursting, she looks around her in despise, and discovers dirty buckets full of even more disgusting and tormenting things. They were full of teeth, nails, hair, and black stains of dry blood covering the bathroom tiles, staining its yellow walls.
Dalal grows fainter and sicker, she gets goose bumps, her body shivers in horror, and the cries of torture and pain aches her heart as she imagines her brother Adel shaking in pain and torment with his comrades, right here in her house!
She gets even scarier, as she sees ghosts of torture twirling around her, wrapped in darkness, blackness, wires, and blood. Filling the entire place that once used to be a cheerful happy house, and now it became a dark scary dungeon. A dungeon so soaked up into darkness and horror, flooded with tears crushing all what’s human.
Dalal tries so hard to fight this horror haunting her in this horrible moment; she summons all her patience as she thinks of a way out from her current crisis. She must return to this house with her mother and daughter now that the war is over. Yes, everything must return to the way it used to be.
Then, with all the silence and darkness, Dalal feels the burden of loneliness, the horrible memories, the deep loom, and fear of the dark. Grieves flood her, and the ghosts of torment haunt her. She shivers in fear, and another horrible thought haunts her.
Yes, Dalal shivers in horror. Her body shakes from just imagining this horrible thought that took over her and controlled her in that bloody moment, she wondered in terrified madness, “Maybe mom was right, maybe grandma woke up after we left her alone in the house! Maybe she kept searching for us, not knowing the way, not knowing where we are!”
Dalal breathes out in gloom, talking to herself, “Maybe she woke up from the diabetic coma, and when she saw the Iraqis she swore at them. Maybe they’ve beaten her and took her with them! Oh dear, I don’t know. I don’t know. But I’m just so worried about her. Yeah, maybe mom is right. We should have made sure she was dead before leaving her alone! But, we were afraid, confused, we didn’t know what to do or where to go. We didn’t expect that her body would vanish like this; we didn’t think Adel won’t be able to bury her. We didn’t see all this coming. By God we didn’t!
Dalal sinks into grieve as she floats with her memories, she evades it by looking at her reality now, the cruel reality that is now showing its true colors to her. A merciless cruel reality that forces her to yield, a reality that needs to be reconsidered, to overcome its cons, and find any pros it might have.
Oh, how long has it been in that crisis of hers? she looks at her watch and comes to her sense, sends her ghosts away, stands with her eyes closed, with her eyelid shut, and her tears still falling, she invokes God for protection from the devil, she reads the Qur’anic chapter of Al-Naas: “Say I seek refuge in the Lord of mankind, the King of mankind, the God of mankind, from the evil of the slinking whisperer, who whispers in the hearts of mankind, from among jinn and mankind”
Dalal looks up, evades looking at the dark walls around her with her tearful eyes, she walks out the door to the road, drives her car to the Kuwaiti Red Crescent association, where she meets her psychiatrist… Doctor Naguib, from whom she asks help and consult about her mother, her daughter, and her brother Adel who returned from capture after Iraqi opposition troops freed him, and let him off with a large number of prisoners in an Iraqi prison in the aftermath of liberation war.
Doctor Naguib arrives according to his appointment with Dalal, she sits in the hall welcoming him, ad starts explaining her aunt’s case, Jamal’s mother, and her mother’s case as well, while Dana stared at him in fear over a distance, as for Adel, he was in his room, locking himself up, refusing to o out, and all the time he keeps hallucinating:
“Jamal, Jamal, no. Don’t beat him. Let him go. Let go off my brother. No, no! Don’t burn him. Don’t zap him. Let him go. Let Jamal go. Jamal, Jamal!”
He screams louder and louder, then bursts into horrible crying, and gets hysteric, starts running in the room, bumping into the walls, hitting the furniture.
When the door is opened, and doctor Naguib walks in to calm him down and examine him, he shivered in fear, walks back terrified from him, and from anyone else who’d come near, even his own mother.
Dalal sits in the hall again with doctor Naguib after he left Adel’s room; she sips her tea still in tears, complaining to doctor Naguib in deep sorrow and continuous crying, “I don’t know what to tell you doctor, the war has wrecked us. It ruined us inside out, you’ll see that for yourself doctor Naguib, and you’ll see what became of my family”
She breathes out, looking around her, as if she feared someone of her family would be overhearing, and then she continues, “I really don’t know where to start, I don’t know what to say or what to describe, I don’t know whom should I talk about first, my daughter, my mother, my sister, my brother, or my mother in law whose son Jamal was killed in front of her, since then she became hysterical, she started breaking anything she touches. Screaming and crying, she lost her mind in a second, and we don’t know what to do with her. We’re afraid that something might happen to hear. We’re afraid for her and afraid from here in the same time! Doctor please help us. I just can’t take it anymore; I don’t know who to ask for help”
She bursts in crying saying, “Even I, doctor. I’ve been fighting my weakness, trying to clinch to any dim hope I see, but sometimes I just feel too weak, like I feel now. Then other times I feel I’m strong and capable of doing anything with the help of God. Yet other times, I just feel broken, without strength, patience or endurance”
Dalal keeps talking feeling as if she’s confessing, throwing a burden off her soul, lessening the suffering she’s going through. She continues talking to doctor Naguib, asks him about the reason she’s so strained and confused, “I don’t feel I’m conscious, doctor Naguib. I think I still need psychiatric therapy.”
Doctor Naguib decides that Dalal’s family do need a psychiatric therapy, and also decides that it has to wait until the medical services in Kuwait get back to normal in the same time he reassures Dalal that she’s a strong woman who managed to survive this hard time, and she might be suffering now because of the events, but that doesn’t mean her case is crucial.
Dalal becomes happy to hear this, and becomes even happier to feel her strength coming back to her; once again she feels she’s capable of facing life, and bearing the hardships on her own.
Dalal keeps thinking, she knows she’s been through a hard time, she also knows that what she’s been through was too much pressure that many people won’t bear it, but she won’t give up. She won’t give up. She’s strong with the help of God. She’ll know how to overcome her weakness, she’ll know how to stand round and reject feebleness and confusion, she’ll fight the weakness within herself, and she’ll manage to do it with the help of God.
Then, a voice whispers inside of Dalal, asking her to move on, to fight the suffering of the emotional shock, and the horror she breathed in and out during the occupation. Then, Dalal recalls the words of his royal highness, the prince. the beloved father, when he addressed the people of Kuwait: “Dear brothers and sisters, Now we have to look for the future with hope, let our hearts be filled with faith, and our souls with confidence, and let us become one hand that would build Kuwait again, full of light and good, spreading love, brotherhood, and peace in all its land, and amongst its friends.
May God Almighty show us the right path, for He is Lord, and He is the grantor of victory.
May peace and blessings of God be with you”
She keeps recalling his words, the dear father, the princes, she recalls them over and over again, and feels relieved. Yes, at that time she feels her heart is full of faith that confidence and security are getting back to her and she can look for the future with hope, not with despair and disappointment.
Indeed, there can be no despair with the mercy of God. At this point, Dalal knows she broke the barrier, she knows she made it through the hard part and she could only be herself, despite her pain. Yes, Dalal now is dealing with facts. She’s looking at reality with all its cruelty and bitterness to patch herself up, to redefine her character, get herself together, and find her identity.
And so, Dalal gets herself together, she starts to feel the strength with her, this amazing strength that’s been tucked away inside of her, beneath the grieve and the bitterness from which she suffered for a long time during the hard times she’s been through.
Yes, Dalal started to awaken, to abandon her depression and disappointment, she moved on towards her self-esteem instead of continuing to torture herself with nostalgia. She bean to try so hard to have her share in life, and to give generously to all people around her, not giving up to loneliness, not letting herself be lost in the big labyrinth of life again.
In fact, Dalal was now certain that she’s evidently changed. She’s changed! She became strong, and capable of facing reality and fighting her disappointments. Yes, whatever it takes, and no matter what the circumstances are, she’ll sacrifice for others, she’ll struggle for her family, she won’t abandon a single one of them. With the help of God, she’s able to defeat despair, able to fight weakness. She’ll know how to make something out of herself in this life.
Dalal keeps getting her hopes up that things would get better so she could start treating her family, the family that’s suffering emotionally and physically because of this destructive war, that showed them the dark side of the moon, that scary side that caused them overwhelming fear and here are the consequences, coming together one by one.
Yes, she’s waking up. She’s refusing to be a helpless fool. She has to get up, to move on, she ha no other choices. Life is forcing her to move on, to find a way, and to give. Later, Dalal knows of Jassem’s severe wounds in the battlefield when he was advancing with the infantry to liberate the homeland, she feels so sorry for him, just for him, not for herself. The truth is she doesn’t feel she needs him as much in her life now. Dalal genuinely wishes that God would grant him recovery and health, and that Jassem would be back to normal, and be happy with his family.
But over there, in Riyadh military hospital, while Jassem was in his bed covered with bandages, and surrounded by all sorts of care and concern, he notices that the care he’s getting is a little bit over, and there are continuous communications about diagnosing his case. He also noticed that his colleagues of doctors are coming to see him frequently, alongside his wife, his sister, his kids, and his whole family.
That was when he started to get suspicious. Why does it look so serious? Why are they caring for him that much? Why is his friend doctor Naïf paying him so much attention, and from time to time summons consultants to check on him and his radiology results? All this care was starting to worry Jassem, and making him suspicious, it made him feel his case is a hard abnormal one.
In the next visit, when Souad came without the children as Jassem asked, and she wanted as well, to stay with him as much as she can without having the kids annoying and bothering him with their noise, especially Ahmed, when he talks to his dad about things that could be embarrassing to bring up, or when he looks at his dad in sorrow lying on the bed all covered up in bandages.
Then, when Souad came all by herself, Jassem kept staring at her with his deep expressive eyes, the eyes that he can talk through with his sharp penetrating expressive stares without needing words.
Jassem looks at Souad for so long, trying to look as strong as he’s always been, he looks into her eyes, points to the edge of the bed pointing out what he wants, and then tells her, “Give me that report, Souad.”
Souad turns terrified to the medical reported hanged on the bed by his feet, her body shivers and her heart beats faster, her voice trembles as she answers, “You needn’t bother yourself with reading it, Jassem. Doctor Naïf has done all what’s needed, thank God. And he’s following up on your case with the other doctors”
Souad knew what was in that report, and knew about the temporary paralysis Jassem has, she knows his case needs long term physiotherapy, and that for the time being he won’t be able to move his arms or legs, Souad also knew that Jassem knew nothing of this! And that knowing might cause him a nervous breakdown that would affect him and even shake his endurance.
Souad knew that Jassem didn’t know a thing about the severity of his injury, and she was caring for his health and comfort and out of fear of the consequences of knowing the shocking facts in the report, she refused to hand it over to him, saying it’s up to doctor Naïf and his colleagues to decide such a thing.
But, with his continuous persistence, and her total inability to disobey him, she takes the report, walks slowly in gloom and sadness, then drops it on the floor on purpose, trying to find anyway to prevent him from seeing it by hiding some important papers under the bed! But, she stands still. She stays in her position, bending by the bed, wiping her tears that started falling.
It was a very difficult situation for Souad, she didn’t know what to do or how to get out of it, she didn’t know what to do to prevent Jassem from seeing that report, because as soon as he reads it, he’ll know everything, he’ll discover the severity of his wounds, he’ll know that he became paralyzed!
The attempt was in vain because of Jassem’s persistence to see the report, Souad remains on the floor trying to get herself together, to catch her breath, as she hears Jassem voice calling her persistently, giving her a heartache, “Souad, give me the report. Please Souad; give me the report, Souad!”
She can’t take it; she can’t take his faint faded voice and his continuous persistence. Her loving heart can’t bear seeing him lying as weak and helpless as he is. She can’t see Jassem in his bed tied in bandages, deprived from his health and strength.
Souad gets up, unable to carry the papers that she dropped on the floor, the papers are scattered all around her. The tears she’s been trying to hide, trying so hard to conceal and tuck away started falling like rain, Souad bursts in tears as she throws herself between Jassem’s arms, kissing his head, rubbing her face against his hair, crying, and says, “I won’t let you Jassem, I won’t leave you.. I’ll be your hands and legs… I’ll spend the rest of my life serving you, whatever I do for the rest of my life won’t repay you for one thing you did for me Jassem, I’m all yours sweetheart.”
Chapter 29
A tearful moon
As days pass, worry increases, Jassem’s case is critical and deteriorating, doctor Naïf and his staff are doing everything they can to save him, everyone is worried about him, and all day long they pray for Jassem, “O Lord, we don’t ask for fate to be changed, but we ask for mercy.”
All the worried ones keep asking God to grant Jassem recovery and good health and thanks to God, he finally passes the critical part, gets over the shock, and he becomes in need for physiotherapy after he loses speech.
Fear now declines, Souad is a little bit reassured by his recovery, prostrates to God in a thankful prayer for his recovery, for God’s saving his life, as Laila rests in comfort not feeling as worried about her brother as before. As for Jassem’s mother, she was almost dying out of worrying for her son; she forgot all her worries and sorrows, all of her feelings were about Jassem, and his fate.
But now, in every prayer she thanked God, night and day she thanked Him for saving her son from the inevitable death. Thank God. In the same time, the Kuwaiti authorities start making arrangements for citizens to return to Kuwait after liberation, yet. Souad was still having a problem being with Jassem, he needs a long physiotherapy, and Kuwait is still in the rebuilding phase.
Yes, the circumstances at home are not suitable for that kind of therapy which takes a special care and equipments that are not available in the plundered Kuwaiti hospitals. The invaders didn’t leave anything, medicines, equipments, or any apparatus, and not even doctors. Many doctors were killed, and others were attacked alongside nursing staffs, whose numbers declined drastically, which affected the health status of Kuwait gravely.
Souad senses how hard the situation is, her aunt –Jassem’s’ mother- wants to return to Kuwait because she heard many Kuwaiti prisoners were released, the Iraqi opposition rebels set them free led by a senior office of a high rank in the Iraqi army. He alone freed a large number of Kuwaiti captives, the number was between 600 and 700, he took a list of their names and released them Jassem’s mother was hoping her father would be among them. God willing.
Also, the Kuwaiti public resistance managed to set a large portion of detainees free, who were locked up in police stations, schools, gardens, houses, palaces, and even sporting clubs. Thank God, many captives were freed, and hopefully the rest will be set free from the Iraqi tyrant’s prisons.
After hearing the news, Laila and her mother gets a glimmer of hope, Laila craves for seeing her father, as her mother expects to see her husband very soon. They both want to return to Kuwait as soon as possible to be with him when he returns home, and to be beside him during that time in which he’d definitely need them the most.
So, Jassem’s mother checks on her son, makes sure he’s over the critical phase, and that there’s nothing left except the physiotherapy, and she returns to Kuwait with Laila to settles their matters there, fish for news about Jassem’s father and the rest of the family that could be around, on their way home… with Jassem’s father with them.
Everyone prepares to return, despite the difficulty of separation in these circumstances that tucked the men away. They start preparing for returning home after knowing that Badr, Abdullah, and Ibraheem are in Kuwait. They fix it with Abdullah’s wife, and martyred Faisal’s wife, they all meet in their way back home, in a journey full of joy, hope… sorrow and loom. Souad sees bids them farewell with her mother who insisted to stay with Souad keeping her and her kids company during Jassem’s treatment in the United States.
Everyone leaves with the family after bidding farewell to Ahmed, who asks them to call him as soon as they hear anything about his grandpa Salem, he genuinely believed that his grandpa and is cousin Mansour are somewhere in Kuwait. Anwar believed that Mansour the karate champion will find his way back home with his grandpa after beating the living day lights of Iraqis, because Mansour is strong and can beat up anyone. “Mansour is a champion, I know him better.”
Souad keeps waiting for news about her father and her Mansour her little nephew, wishing to hear something about them before leaving Riyadh. Jassem’s and Abdullah’s mother pray that God would return all the captives, and that He’d admit the martyrs into His paradise.
Doctor Naïf meets Souad, assures her as a doctor that they did all what could be done for Jassem, telling her, “As a doctor I have to tell you to ask for another opinion, try your chances in treatments abroad, it will take a long time.. Jassem needs sometime to recover completely.”
Naïf promises her that he’ll arrange everything to continue Jassem’s treatment in America. He sends the medical report to an American hospital to decide the departure date, and gives all the help needed to facilitate Jassem’s traveling abroad to continue his treatment.
Souad evades waiting for the American response, keeps herself busy with preparing the kids, her mother, and herself for traveling, and waits in anticipation for the family to arrive to Kuwait, hoping they’d know something about her father, her nephew, and her father in law.
Badr talks to her on the phone, reassuring her that his aunt, Laila, Ibtesam, Fadila, and her mother made it home safe and sound. Thank God. They’re all OK, so are Mariam, Mona, Fadda, and Abdullah’s daughters. He tells her that everyone in Kuwait is just fine, and passes Abdullah’s and Ibrahim’s greetings.
Laila and her mother calls up Naive’s mother and sisters, Methna, Nora, and Masha’el. While Badr and Abdullah calls to thank Naïf and his father for their hospitality during the period of war in which they stayed in their house in Riyadh. Abdullah and Badr talks to Souad, tell her that many captives returned, and that there are rumors saying more are coming, and maybe her father, Mansour, and Jassem’s father would be among them. “Hopefully it will end up fine, don’t worry. Everyone is ok.” Abdullah goes on, “Everything is alright Souad, don’t worry. Just take care of Jassem and your mother, we’re all fine here, don’t worry about us. We’re just fine. Yes, Ibtesam, Mariam, Mona, and Fadda are all ok. No, it’s all safe now, don’t worry Souad, goodbye.”
At the moment Abdullah recalls this horrible memory that is still haunting him, he still hates to remember this terrible day, when Saddam’s soldiers attacked him when he was out in the desert, and how did that senior Iraqi officer saved him and preserved his honor, prevented the soldiers from harassing the women in his family, who could have easily been raped.
Abdullah recalls that day with sorrow and sadness for that gallant officer, after he heard the news of executing a senior Iraqi officer for objecting to Saddam’s aggressive policies in Kuwait. Abdullah breathes out in gloom, telling himself that this gallant chivalrous officer and his likes of honest Iraqis are victims to a despicable regime that knows no morals, and keeps no promises.
Souad is reassured to hear the family’s news in Kuwait; she finishes her preparation to travel, while Naïf is wrapping it all up. Jassem is taken by an ambulance from the military hospital to a plane, followed by a military jeep carrying Souad, she gets off carrying Rakan in her arms, Anwar clinching to her dress, while Ahmed walks slowly, holding his grandma’s arm, walking next to her slowly towards the plane carrying hi daddy. Souad keeps staring at Jassem with tearful eyes, seeing him staring at the void with open eyes and cold, meaningless, endless stares.
The plane takes off, the ambulance turns around, and the jeep takes Naïf back to Riyadh’s military hospital, while Souad sees the sign “Riyadh Airbase” as she sees Saladin’s area over a distance.
The plane flies to America, and without realizing it, Souad finds herself thinking about Dalal. Maybe because it’s the same thing, maybe that’s why she thought of her. She also thought of her when she left Kuwait for America, that moment Dalal’s face was all over the horizon, hue, and dominant. Souad wonders, “Why did I remember her now? Why did I think of her? What made me think of Dalal and her life? I wonder. What is she doing now? What did she do when she heard about Jassem’s injury in the war?”
Souad floats with her memories again; she gets carried away by her memories, and once again wonders morosely, “I wonder, is Dalal still in love with Jassem? Does she still wish to be his wife?”
Yes, Souad knew that Dalal loved Jassem, and that she was so attached to him, she knows how much Dalal wished to be his wife, even if he’s still married to Souad, it didn’t matter, all what she cared for that he’d be hers, her husband, her man.
All these questions were passing by Souad’s mind, she kept asking herself, one question after another, staring at the horizon, awaiting the future with hope, that God would help Jassem and gives him back his health and strength, and that He would keep Dalal and her tricks away from him.
The weird thin is that Dalal couldn’t stop thinking about Jassem back in Kuwait, but not in the way Souad thought she’d be thinking, not having the feelings Souad thought of. Jassem was more like a dear brother to Dalal now, he became the faithful gallant friend who stood by her and helped her a lot.
Indeed, Dalal changed; she was now soaked up into her social role for helping the crippled children, especially after Dana got a psychological problem that needs a prolonged treatment, her mother was still sick and treated in a Kuwaiti psychiatry hospital. Her brother Adel was treated in the very same hospital, and his mom, who got an acute mental disorder. May God grant her recovery.
Unexpectedly, Dalal’s father arrives to Kuwait coming from Cairo, he was utterly changed by the events, he became more tender and caring, he became a father yearning for his fatherhood, wishing to make it up for his children, for all the times he weren’t there, he wanted to get his family back together. He returned with a years’ share of love and tenderness that he wanted to give them in hours. He returned regretful for all the years that passed without him being with them in all occasion, for better and for worse.
He returns home yearning for home, for his house, his family, and his children. He returned trying so hard to hide his sadness and sorrow for losing his first son, Jamal, the son whom he lost in such a brutal cruel merciless way. He cried for his son that he loved so much, and mourned him as he should mourn a son.
The only thing that made it a little easier for him was the return of his younger son, Adel, who was freed by the Iraqi opposition, and released him from a prison south of Basra. But, he wasn’t Adel, the son he’s known he was a totally different person. Adel came home shaken, lost, suffering from psychological problem, hallucinations, and fear: Constantly afraid that he got scared from his own father when he visited him in the hospital.
Jamal’s father meets his lifetime friend, Ibrahim’s father, who returned with his family from the Emirates to see the homeland after long separation. They spent the duration of the war in Cairo, Bahrain, and the Emirates. They could barely believe that they returned home again, to the beloved land of Kuwait.
The friends meet after their return, with hearts aching and souls bleeding, and torment within, because of the capture of their dear friend, Abdullah’s father, who’s now away from them, with whom they had lots of memories since the time they were students in the Egyptian universities in Cairo, the three of them were roommates in one flat where they had the sweetest days, days of studying and friendship, the good old days that are now one.
The crisis made them grow even older, added more years to their lives, wore them out, weighed them down with sorrows and heartaches because of all what they’ve been through. They row older before their time, their grieve was overwhelming, for many reasons, the forceful exile from home, the bitterness of banishment, the tragic loss of sons. Jamal’s death and Khaled’s being missing, the martyrdom and capture of Sanaa and Siham’s husbands. And also the loss of this faithful friend, the third side of the triangle as they used to call him. Yes, sadly, that triangle was now wrecked, the corners are moved, the angles are no longer equal, and all the sides were broken after Abdullah’s father left them.
Souad, their friend’s daughter, has assigned her office manager to run her companies in the United States, and never returned to work. She has let it all going on spontaneously, and stayed all the time with Jassem in the hospital, giving him all the care and all the love, giving him her whole life, till he started to talk! Yes, Jassem started to talk, Souad tells him in love and passion shining from her eyes, “You’re so important in our lives Jassem, we need you; the kids and I need you so much”
Jassem feels the care and the deep love, but yet, his rejection continues: his rejection for Souad, and for the reality, his rejection for everything. Souad keeps showing Jassem that she loves him, she keeps telling him how much she needs him and how she’s worth nothing without him, that he is everything in her life, her one and only.
The doctor explains to Souad how critical is Jassem’s case now, and that everyone who feels helpless will react violently to anyone he loves, he explains to her that she must understand her role, that she must assure Jassem that she needs him, needs his love, passion, and tenderness, that she must show him all the love and give him all the care she can, no matter how busy she is with her responsibilities and circumstances.
By time, as the days and nights pass, and despite the bitterness of homesickness, and the hardship of separation in these difficult times, with a sick helpless husband, and a martyred brother, and a captured father, and even the little nephew, Mansour, also captured, and her father in law, captured! Despite all that, nothing stays the same, for everyone and everything changes. Souad begins to feel a little happy, and Jassem is changing too, he’s starting to show her some response, he’s getting more relaxed and starts to take his medicines. He becomes more eager to heal and recover. The hospital administration tells her that Jassem could continue his treatment at home, because he needs to be with his family, so that he won’t feel lonely.
The Kuwaiti embassy in the United States follows up on Jassem’s case, the medical attaché shows special concern towards hi, visits him with some members of the embassy to check on him in the hospital before he leaves for home. Here he is the well-known national hero, the faithful son of Kuwait, Dr. Jassem Al-Nasser.
During the visit, a doctor who was close with Jassem notices he’s not ok, he’s not responding, he’s not talking with other, not taking part in the conversation, he looks sad and gloomy, and desperate. The doctor tries to make him feel better by talking to him about patients whose cases were so critical, yet thanks to God, they recovered.
He tells him the story of prophet Ayoub[15], and how he suffered many misfortunes and was tested by a long illness, but he was patient and content until God gave him his health back. The doctor sits next to Jassem, taps his shoulder as he encourages him, and reminds him that God is the all-capable, and recites Qur’anic verses, “And Job when he called to his Lord, saying ‘Harm has afflicted me, and You are the most merciful. So, We answered his prayer and removed the affliction, and We gave to him his family, and the likes of them with them a mercy from Us, and a reminder to the worshippers.'”
Jassem makes it; he overcomes his illness, due to his strength and will power. Yes, his will and soul weren’t broken by the suffering of illness that he defeated with his faith and belief in God Almighty.
Jassem leaves the hospital on a wheel chair; Souad conceals her tears seeing him as weak and feeble as he is, after he used to run back and forth in football courts, running like the wind, like an Arabian stallion that is unrivaled in races, without a competition or a match.
“Oh, Jassem, my sweetheart, I wish it were me, not you. I wish it was me!”
Souad watches for Jassem’s feelings more than she does for her own, she respects his feelings and doesn’t impose herself on his solitude, she draws near from a distance, tries to make him feel she’s always with him without making him feel he’s watched, she plays her role perfectly, she respects all his undisputable requests, she obeys every request and command of his at once, with gentle attempts to bring up topics he likes to talk about, things he care for, and no matter what he said, she never objects or blames him for anything.
Indeed, nothing’s like life when it’s full of love. Souad was acting as if she doesn’t care about life’s problems, as if her captured father is back, as if nothing was taken from her as if she were as happy as she could ever be just because her husband is with her, alive, after he was so close to certain death.
And as Jassem requested, Souad spends the night next to him, talking to him, keeping him company, entertaining him, telling him nice stories and news flowing to him like moonlight in the nights of spring, while Souad’s whispering voice touches his ears, tender, peaceful, like sea water touching the sands calmly.
Souad keeps giving him love, like waves one following the other, moved by the kind wind of endless tenderness, that doesn’t stop flowing or giving. Tenderness that knows no sorrow, coming from a heart that overlooks sadness, forgets the pain and tenderness coming from a heart that is full of yearning to give passion, intimacy, and genuine true love.
But, despite the sea is also saddened, Souad waits for the moon to come. She always waits for the moon, it always comes, it must return, it must rise in the sky no matter how long she stayed up and waited. There are no nights without moon, and day always follows the dawn.
Yet, she sees a tearful moon, a tearful sea, a tearful sky! For Jassem too was tearful, she accidentally sees him crying, and avoids to hurt him, she hides quickly, for she doesn’t want him to know that she saw him in this moment of weakness, she doesn’t want him to know that she saw his tears and felt his grief.
Souad hides and cries silently, cries and weeps as everything around her seemed to be crying too, the moon is crying, the night is crying, and the dawn is crying because Jassem is crying too. But soon, very soon, the moon will rise, illuminating the night. Soon, it will be dawn. It will be dawn.
Chapter 30
We won’t forget the captives
Jassem resumes his life in a way that he tries to make normal, Souad continues her attempts to be closer to him, however sadness still overwhelms her, for she’s not certain if she succeeded in winning him back or not. After all that time they still have separate bedrooms! She doesn’t know if Jassem still wants her as a wife, or he’s happy with his life as it is, without her.
Her mother asks her one day about her life, and how is she bearing it with Jassem being away from her, the old woman asks her simply, “Maybe it’s the doctor’s orders sweetie, isn’t he being treated for paralysis ?”
Souad doesn’t know how to answer this embarrassing question, she breathes out, says, “I swear, if doctor did ask him to be with me, he’d still have slept alone, he’d have slept in one bed, and left me all by myself.”
At this point, all her pain bursts out in an overwhelming fit, she bursts into tears that have been tucked away for so long, her mother tries to comfort her, says, “Don’t worry honey. You know how much your husband loves you, he can’t do without you. Don’t worry baby. Don’t worry, it’s just that you love him so much, and you’re too jealous for him. Try to be stronger. Love him rationally, not as crazy as you do, Souad!”
Life goes on calmly and peacefully, Jassem resumes his administrative job in Mubarak grand hospital, his shivering fingers prevented him from being a surgeon, he went to the hospital and still deprived from performing surgeries.
Dalal comes to welcome him and congratulate him on his recovery, talks to him in the decency imposed by the head scarf she wear, wrapped around her head, covering her hair, and holding back her passions that now took a different course after Jassem Al-Nasser became more like a brother and a dear friend to her
Dalal talks to Jassem about their memories together back in the days of resistance, and about the risks they took, and how they moved from a hideout to another and stayed for hours risking their lives, subjecting themselves to the risk of fires, explosions, and torture.
Four long hours they talk, and she feels that Jassem is a protective brother of hers, watching over her, sacrificing for her, giving his life to save her from any danger. Yes, Dalal never forgot, and Jassem never forgot how they expected death and kept reading Qur’an thinking they’re about to die in seconds.
Now, the resistance is over, the Kuwait if free again. No one forgot what a hero Jassem was, so when he returned to Kuwait leaning on a crane, he was received like a hero.
Yes, he was truly received like a hero, everyone showing their love, appreciation, and gratitude.
As for Dalal, she gave all her concentration to the cause of the Kuwaiti captives imprisoned in the Iraqi prisons, she participated in the meetings of the national committee for the captives and the missing, and also got in the field of helping the crippled children, whom she thought worthy of all the care and love.. Indeed, Dalal did change, she was veiled both inside and outside, the light of faith filled her heart after she saw death al around her and went through hell all by herself, until God guided her to the right path.
Dalal lives, carrying on with her social duty of caring for the captive, and the crippled children, these human contacts established many passionate relationships with those who need her. Indeed, Dalal’s only concern now was the return of the captives, so happiness could be complete, and sorrows be forgotten for ever, and for the hearts to get rid of pain and sadness for good.
Jassem starts to feel love for everything in his life, he loves Kuwait, he loves everything about it, he feels that this competition he had with Souad is in vain, and enough is enough.
For how long would he stay in competition? How long time? He’s been competing with everyone everywhere, in the football team, in the university, in his work as a famous doctor. He must accept Souad’s success; he must accept everything about her. He doesn’t necessary have to be the best! On the contrary, he is the best because having Souad is a victory of his, and he’s so lucky that his children have such a brilliant mother.
Jassem comes to realize that if he wasn’t married to a woman like that, he would have never been able to heal from his wounds, and overcome his pain for Souad, with all her love and care helped him through the hardships till the miracle took place! He’s now healthy again, he’s resuming his life, and he’s once again himself. Now, Jassem realizes that he could compete with anyone, but he could never compete with Souad.
Jassem starts to understand that this wealth isn’t only Souad’s, it belongs to all of them, and the truth is that Souad filled his life. Yes, Souad did fill his life; Jassem knows that always found her beside him when he needed her most, he also knows that Souad feels how others need her love and care. She felt how he needed her, and didn’t deprive him from her love and care.
Souad gave him a lot, she tried to give him the time to mind his studies and succeed in his career, and she ran their life adequately, with skill and ability. Souad has always been good in carrying out her responsibilities, and she’s always been modest.
Jassem keeps recalling his life memories, and feels how passionate and romantic Souad used to be. He knows how Souad tries to conceal her feelings; she always waited for the right time to get what she wants, with no forcing, with no mess, but with calmness and love. She never fell short in organizing their life, she’s always been neat and tidy, freaks out around the mess, and adores order, always there to carry out her responsibilities.
Jassem breathes out as he reconsiders his life, he knows that Souad never hurt anyone, she’s always been kind, decent, respectful of others, and know how to handle people, and life. He also knows she loves the sun, the fresh air, adores the sea, he knows she’s a n ambitious woman that nothing could stand between her and the top, Souad is not a mysterious vague character that is driven by romantic wishes. No she’s a real lady, she never loses her temper or lets her tongue slip, she never wastes her time in worthless rattle, she’s always busy with her life, and responsibilities.
When Jassem reaches this point in his train of thoughts, he couldn’t resist his feelings, he calls up a friends, sets an appointment, and meets him the meridian hotel, where they discussed something that Jassem was so eager to do, and then step out of the hotel’s backdoor where they watch some stores in Al-Saleheya compound, take the elevator to the third floor where they step into an office.
Jassem signs a contract, buys this office, and asks that it’s prepared completely for Souad, even the metal sign on the door; he gets them to write “Souad Al-Salem real estate investments”, he hires a secretary, gets phone lines, and prepares everything as he always wished it would be.
Jassem returns home feeling his ego boosted, he’s now happy that he’s an objective, logical person. He knew how to be in control in different situations, and how to have the right attitude, and that’s why he agreed to Naïf request when he called him from America to propose to his sister Laila. His mother wanted to wait until his father returns from capture, but Jassem told her, “My father is not around now, but I’m telling you. If he was around he’d have agreed, and if he knew about it now he’d agree, and if he didn’t know, and learned later on that we refused to marry Laila off because he wasn’t there, he wouldn’t agree on what you’re saying, mom.”
He goes on, “Naïf is a great guy, I’ve known him for years, and I know him inside out, I’m not saying yes because I owe him my life, but because I know how good he is, I wouldn’t wish a better husband for my sister than him, he wants Laila, and she wants him as well, so don’t let Laila feel guilty, don’t make her feel she’s doing something wrong by marrying while her father is away.” And he says, “You’ll be wrong to stand in the way of this marriage, because Naïf loves her, and he’ll be good to her and treat her right. He proposed to her when we were in America before the invasion, and waited all that time until the right time came, and now, Kuwait is free again and happiness is all over, and there’s no need to postpone Laila’s marriage because dad is not around.”
Jassem keeps trying to convince his mother, trying to get her to take it easily, “Mom, I’m her brother, and her father, and God willing it will be fine, Naïf talked to me about many times though he felt it was improper because of what I’ve been through. I know Naïf very well mom, he’s a real man, one of the best men I’ve ever met, and he helped me a lot when we were together in the hospital. When the war erupted, he stood by me in Riyadh and in America; I’ll never forget what he did for me… Naïf is a real gallant man, no one is more right for Laila than him, trust me on this mom, and trust me.” “Do whatever you want, just do it, but I can’t imagine that Laila would be wed without your father being with us, Jassem. I just can’t imagine it. I can’t.” His mother cries as she says, “But anyway, you do the right thing Jassem, she’s your sister, do whatever you want and don’t ask for my opinion.”
The mother continues to cry, for she can’t imagine that Laila would get married without her father being around, she can’t imagine that Laila would be wed when the whole family is in gloom, she can’t imagine Laila getting married while the captives are tucked away behind the prisons’ walls.
Jassem calls Naïf in the states, he asks him, “So, what are you still doing in the states? We all miss you here” Nayef answers, “If you want me in Kuwait I’ll be there as fast as I could.”
Naïf tells his folks in Riyadh, the whole family prepares to travel to Kuwait to make the preparations for the hasty marriage, because Laila will travel to America afterwards to start her life with Naïf over there.
The wedding is over; it was a small family ceremony, held at Jassem’s father’s house in Kifan. Laila prepares to leave with her groom, Nayef; she was going to a hotel with some relatives as she’d be leaving for America the next morning.
Laila walks slowly in her long white dress, walks through the hall. Her steps get slower as she looks at her father’s picture, General Ahmed Al-Nasser, in his military uniform. The picture took a big part of the right wall of the hall, Laila stops in front of it, not wanting to move on. She pauses, cries, and says, “Where are you dad? Where are you? I wish you were here with us tonight. I wish you’d have seen me in my wedding day, oh, dad.”
Laila bursts into crying, Souad runs to her, hugs her, kisses her, tries gently to pull her away from her dad’s picture, whispering to her, fearing for Jassem’s mother from the shock, “Laila, please, Laila, please stop crying, stop it now, Laila.”
But, Souad couldn’t control herself, she too bursts into crying, she can’t hide her tears, after seeing her aunt, her mother, her uncle’s wife, her cousins Siham and Manal, she sees them al crying, and her sisters in law, Ibtesam and Fadila, she sees all the women who were bidding Laila farewell crying, Methna, Nora, Masha’el, and their mother. They were all crying.
Laila leaves with her groom, while the mothers walk back in with the rest of the invitees who were bidding Laila farewell at the door. Jassem’s mother bursts into crying, unable to believe that her only daughter is wed without her father being there, the dear father who waited for that day for so long.
Jassem’s mother cries over the absence of her captured husband, waking the wounds of her sister, Abdullah’s mother, who’s trying to tuck away the pain for her martyred son and her captured husband, and her little grandson, she too starts crying, while Ibrahim’s mother cries her heart out for her son Khaled who’s still missing, after his fighter plane disappeared and was never found again since he took part in the raids during the liberation war.
Abdullah’s wife, Ibtesam, couldn’t handle it as well, she cries for the capture of her sister, Amal, the beautiful university student, who was about to get engaged and married. They captured her, locked her up behind the tyrant’s walls, and Siham, the cousin, lost consciousness out of sorrow for her captured husband.
Horrible painful moments, that mixed the feelings of happiness with sorrow, feelings of hope with despair, the feeling of anticipation and waiting no matter how much time has to pass. Then, at these emotional moments, Fadila cries for her martyred husband Faisal, and her captured child, Mansour, she cries and cries not able to stop, although she was trying to refrain from crying so that she won’t disturb the invitees.
Children stand around them, looking at them in deep grief, because of this overwhelming sadness and the loud cries full of passionate sentimental feelings. Anwar cries her heart out, so do Mariam, Mona, Fadda, and Rakan. As for Ahmed, he tries to control himself as ever, trying to look strong, not letting his tears fall being the big boy among all these girls.
Ahmed looks at his aunt Fadila, and it touches him so, for he knows she’s crying for his uncle Faisal, and his cousin Mansour. Ahmed looks around him, feeling so lonely without Mansour, he gets sadder, wishing from the bottom of his heart that Mansour was with him that moment, mumbles to himself, “Where is Mansour? How I wish you were with us now.”
In the same moment, Fadila looks at the children around her, stares at them, wishing from the bottom of her heart that her son Mansour was among them, playing and having fun as they do, laughing, joking with them. And at this point, she can’t control her feelings any longer, suddenly she screams in utter despair, “Oh God, Mansour, Mansour, where are you Mansour? Give me my son back. Give me Mansour back!”
Fadila faints and falls on the ground after trying for so long to control herself so as not to ruin everyone’s happiness, but sometimes one can’t control his feelings, feelings get too strong to be controlled or restrained, they totally take over, force themselves out.
Ahmed runs to his mother’s room to get a bottle of cologne, hands to his grandma to spread it on Fadila’s face, he’s quite trained for getting the cologne fast, because he does it often whenever his other grandma, Abdullah’s mother, faints.
Ibtesam gets a bottle of cold water, tries to get Fadila to drink, wiping her wet hand over her face. While Anwar stares at this painful scene in front of her, the scene that made her realize despite her little innocent mind that her aunt Fadila wants Mansour and longs for him, she mumbles to herself, “Hey, I got it; aunt Fadila wants to see Mansour. Ok, I got plenty of pictures for Mansour. He was with us in my birthday party.”
Anwar tells Ahmed about her little idea, they go upstairs quickly together, and all the other kids follow them, Ahmed and Anwar starts taking pictures out of the album, pick Mansour’s pictures, and at this point, before Ahmed leaves the room, he looks at the big note hanged on the wall that read:
We won’t forget our captives
He stands on the chair in front of his desk, takes the pamphlet, puts it on the desk, and gets glow out of the drawer, sticks Mansour picture instead of the crying child’s picture in the middle of the pamphlet, while Anwar, Mona, Fadda, and Rakan start sticking all of Mansour’s pictures on it. In the same moment Mariam comes in, asking Ahmed for a big black pen, she writes in big clear letters:
We want Mansour with us
The kids go down stairs, hanging the pamphlet with their little hands, now that changed it with big apparent letters:
We won’t forget the captives.
We want Mansour with us.
Chapter 31
Something of My Heart
Jassem sits in his office, drifting with his thoughts, staring at his right hand, starts touching his fingers one by one, stares at his hand again, gazes at its lines, wishing that he were in the operative theatre right now, where he could be himself, instead of sitting behind a desk like that, without scalpels, without equipments, without patient, and then he mumbles to himself in despair, “And without a surgeon!”
After a short while, Dalal walks into Jassem’s office, greets him, talks to him as he listens intently, opening up his heart as she opens hers, “That’s true, the war is over Jassem. But, the torture isn’t. Bombs no longer fall on us, but I can still hear the sounds that terrify me, although the republican guards are gone, but I still have the fear. It’s impossible to forget Jassem, we can’t forget! I wish if we could forget, I wish that fear would just vanish, I wish that the captives would return from detention camps, I wish. I wish a day would come where I could feel the same way again, full of love, hope, confidence, and optimism. I wish I could ever feel the way I felt before 2 August, 1990. That feeling I got after the war, that fear, this havoc, it’s tormenting me. The scene of my destructed ruined house, and the traces of destruction and torture are still right there before my eyes, deep down in my heart, oh dear me!”
She breathes out and says, “I wish I could be what I used to be, I just wish I could.”
She walks out of Jassem’s office with tearful eyes, with a stare of despair and sorrow. The memories of the past she had with Jassem surface, take over, control her, moves her feelings, touching her deeply, she reads Qur’anic verses to calm herself, “Our Lord, do not let our hearts deviate after You have guided us, and grant on us mercy from You, indeed, You are the one who grants”
Dalal walks on aimlessly, full of grief for the captives, she’s now going to the sanitarium to see her sick mother who’s still suffering from invasion, when the soldiers ruined her soul as they raped her body. She still thought the grandma was alive.
Indeed, they’re difficult crucial moments. Dana as well is still suffering from psychological problems, although Dalal took her yesterday to a toy store and bought her a beautiful doll instead of the one they left at home when they left hastily after the incident that killed her grandmother, and crushed her mother.
Dalal bought her lots of toys, from the same store which was right by the house, she filled her rooms with toys after it was repainted and refurnished, changed everything about the room. Dalal made sure that she picked the very same doll that Dana lost due to the circumstances, along with all her other toys. Dalal gave Dana back everything, but… Dana was never the same again. She’s now sick having speech and behavior problems, Dana was disturbed, she’s not as healthy as she used to be before the invasion, neither physically nor psychologically.
Dalal splits her time between her mother, her daughter, the crippled children, and the imprisoned captives, whose parents, loved ones, friends, and neighbors suffer with them. Everyone is sad for the captives. Everyone can’t enjoy his life, can’t feel the happiness, thinking of the imprisoned ones.
In that time, Jassem goes to put the final touch on the office that was the surprise he prepared for Souad, he hired her very nice Philippine secretary, and a small desk with telephones, a fax, and master pieces of art that he knows how Souad loves.
He returns home, takes Souad for a walk in the afternoon as if it’s his usual daily walk which the doctor recommended, but for her surprise he asks her to go with him somewhere else, Souad walks in Al-Saleheya compound, takes the elevator to the third floor, walks in the corridor with Jassem full of curiosity and anticipation for that weird reason that made him bring her here. Then she stops and pauses as she stares at the shiny metal sign, with her name carved on it “Souad Al-Salem real estate investments.”
Souad takes the surprise calmly, handles the sudden situation in bewilderment that Jassem notices. Yes, that gift confused her, it made her wonder, “Why did Jassem get me this office? To get rid of me? Or he’s giving it to me to run my business in the states? Why did Jassem do that? Why?!”
She can’t figure out why, she’s still confused, keeps thinking it through not knowing what’s going on in Jassem’s mind. Could it be that he wants her to be independent and stay away from him? Or is that gift an expression of love, and a sign of his acceptance and appreciation of her as a businesswoman?
In fact, Souad thought that Jassem giving her this office was the final chapter in their life together, she mumbles to herself in sorrow “Is that it Jassem? Is that how you reward me? After all the love and loyalty I gave you. I end up this way? Is that possible? Would you do that to me Jassem? Would you?”
Everything gets mixed up, confusing Souad even more. How could she live without Jassem? How could her kids live without their father? She sighs, sipping her coffee, sitting in the comfortable chair in the hall, waiting for Jassem to put on his sportswear to walk for the time that doctor predetermined.
Souad’s grief grows deeper; she says to herself, “What does Jassem want? How on earth would he give me this office? He always hated my work, always stood against it.”
Yes, the way Jassem treated Souad in the states, and the way he ended up their affairs there in that hasty reckless manner, and how she was forced to abandon her office and her companies, leaving behind all these huge investments, all that made her realize that Jassem was about to give her up. Yes, he’s going to give her up.
Souad starts thinking about her father, he alone was the source of love, giving, tenderness, and security, she starts to think how he used to encourage her, always proud of her, she remembers how he used to prepare her when she was still so young to be a famous renowned businesswoman.
But, unfortunately, Jassem’s attitude was the exact opposite, she felt it, she could even confirm that, she’s not the kind of person that doesn’t now what’s going on around her, yes. She does ignore events sometimes, but ignoring isn’t ignorance, and what a great difference it is.
Souad knew that Dalal was at Jassem’s office in the hospital the other day, and Jassem didn’t hide it, he told her himself that Dalal came to his office, and that they were talking about the hard times they’ve been through together during the resistance.
Before the nightfall, before sunset, while the spring wind pushed the seawater gently, making it embrace the soft peaceful sands of the beach, in that beautiful weather, in that lovely season that Souad always loved and waited for all the year. Souad walks next to Jassem in the Arab Gulf street, near Sultan center, illuminating the street to their left, walking, and over a distance seeing Kuwait towers that they love, standing there tall and elegant, giving a harmonized blue shade to the blue waters of the gulf, and the clear blue sky.
Then, sun goes down the horizon slowly for sunset. Getting close to the horizon, Souad walks by Jassem, holding his hand, since he abandoned the crane a while ago, and he must depend on her support because sometimes he loses the balance and could fall down.
Jassem walks next to her hearing music from the cars, the roaring motorbikes racing the Gulf Street, with cheerful youth riding beside them every now and then.
At this moment, Jassem gets a weird feeling, for the first time he’s not shy to rely on Souad, he almost fall down a couple of times, he grabbed her hand, clinched to her, without feeling embarrassed.
It was a new surprise to him, because he realized that all his life he struggled to show how strong he was in front of Souad, and that he’s more successful, that he’s her hero. He never let himself give up to weakness in front of her, he felt weird depending on her like this with now shyness or embarrassment. He needs her. He’s not ashamed to admit it.
Jassem remains silent as if he’s in a distant place; Souad feels it, turns to him, and asks him lovingly, “What’s wrong Jassem? Are you tired or something?”
Jassem looks at Souad, his body shivers seeing the deep love in her eyes, it was like it’s the first time he sees her. Jassem knows that he always loved Souad, but it was his pride that kept him from speaking out his feelings. Of course he loves her, he always did, and when they got married, he was in love her, and even before that, he was in love with her, but he never admitted that he did.
In some way, he felt that if he admitted to himself that he loves her, it would be weakness, or a beginning of weakness. Oh, what a childish feeling! How could one compete with himself? He’s always strong, and will always be strong, he’ll always be successful. That feeling he had was totally meaningless, he couldn’t possibly compete with Souad.
That was a fact, and the way it went, it was a wrong conception that tore their relation apart, his continuous attempts to prove he was better was a major reason that made them drift further apart, it was too much for him, it was liking competing with himself, and how high was the cost! In his relationship with her, he was never comfortable, he was never at east. He was always thinking who’s the stronger in every minute in his life. Who has the final decision in everything he does. It was too much. Even in his relationship with himself, he was too domineering, and that can’t be honest, he wasn’t acting normally, he wasn’t the real him, he wasn’t normal.
Jassem wakes up, as if he was recalling his life since Souad was an 8 year old child, and he was 16 years old, when she was in junior high, and he was a student in the medical school. She was also a child.
He remembers when he went to the school in his red sports car to pick up his sister Laila, he saw her behind the window in the bus, looking around her, as if she doesn’t see him.
He remembers his life in America, and how did he receive Souad when she came there for the first time, and how did she look at him in amazement and bewilderment, remembers when they went to the states as a man and wife, and how he kept asking himself “How didn’t I see this beauty before? How?!”
He remembers how he used to come to her, asking her if she’d like something to drink, and how she evaded looking into his eyes. She only nodded, still looking at New York from the 57th floor, while he kept coming closer, full of passion, longing, admiration, and confusion about this shyness of hers, while Souad get more embarrassed and bewildered.
He remembers how Souad used to walk next to him as her husband, and the father of her three kids, Ahmed, Anwar, and Rakan. He remembers how lovely the weather was, the sun shining, life full of sounds, crowded with tourists gathered around ice cream and pop corn stands, cafes and restaurants, youth from all over the world in t-shirts and jeans, the noise of New York cabbies, that loud hasty city.
He remembers how Souad agreed on returning to Kuwait, leaving America, sacrificing all her success, just to be with him, to be by his side. He remembers her in Kuwait taking the kids to school, dropping them and picking them up, not complaining about the slow pace of her life, about the loneliness she suffered from when he used to be so distant, rejecting her being in his life, refusing the success she worked for so hard, repelling her efforts to be worthy of him, her husband, her sweetheart.
Jassem remembers everything. Everything as they walk from Al-Salemiyah, with Sultan center to the left and Kuwait towers up ahead. He hardly walks, runs into athlete walking rapidly on the beach, they see him, greet him, “Hey Jassem, how’re you doing? Hope you’re OK.”
You hope I’m ok?! Jassem stands, looks at his injured leg, and remembers the time when he used to run in the playground back and forth in football games, when he used to kick the ball right into the net, getting victory for his team.
Jassem walks and Souad walks with him, he sees a red sports car with more athletes in it, he continues his defective walk with Souad, each of them drifting away with memories.
Souad hears a song for Awad Aldookhi coming out of a car stopping for the red light, the song broadcasted was the very same song that her dad used to sing to her when she was a little girl,
O night, come to us.
What a beautiful night, for Dana!
As pretty and charming as ever.
But only if she’d answer me.
O night, come to us.
What a beautiful night, for Dana.
Souad loses control, starts crying, unable to keep walking. She leans on the gray cement wall, cries her eyes out, Jassem comes closer to her, talks to her lovingly and tenderly, and says, “Till when will we keep crying Souad? It’s our fate. We have to accept reality without losing faith. If that’s what God wants, then we must have faith. If God’s will was that we won’t see them again, and then we must accept our lives as it is, we must accept our fate. Souad, when you cry I don’t feel you’re crying for your father, you’re crying for feeling secure, you want the security that your father gave you.”
Jassem keeps talking, feeling he’s talking with all his heart, assuring her, “Souad I’m not just your husband, I’m your father, your brother, your whole family. I never told you how I felt Souad, maybe because we were never taught to express our feelings, but, if I didn’t tell you how I felt before then let me tell you now, you’re my whole life, and I’ve always been in love with you, I love you Souad.. I love you.”
Souad still cries leaning against the cement wall, and Jassem standing beside her leaning on her, putting his arm around her shoulders, continuing his sincere words, after he knew for certain that he loves her, and after knowing for sure that she loves him back: “I was wrong Souad, I was wrong, because I was in love with you, and never admitted that to my self, I was really wrong to let all these years pass without telling you and expressing my feelings to you, without telling you that I love you.. I never told you how I felt before, but now I’m trying to express at least a bit of my feelings.”
Souad hears these surprising words, and her tears fall again quietly, the tears of joy. These feelings are true; she really feels it, if she ever had anything to wish for. She knows that Jassem loves her, and that he knows how much she loves him. All that she wished for was his showing of emotion, after years of marriage, after having 3 kids.
Souad hears his words now, his confession, but. The weird thing is that Jassem made her see a very important thing, that Jassem, the football champion, captain of Kuwait’s national team, the famous surgeon, the resistance hero, he managed to express his feelings, while she up till now couldn’t tell him how she felt.
Souad discovers that she never told Jassem that she loves him. She never told him that he was her whole life although, through all her adult life, Jassem was in her eyes, in her heart, in her soul. He’s her sweetheart. She might as well have seen his face before seeing hers in a mirror; her heart might have beaten for him before it’s beaten for her. It might have been.
Souad realizes that she’s loved Jassem before she knew she existed, the obsession she had for studying English was for Jassem, she went to university for Jassem, she worked and succeeded to be worthy of Jassem, she gave birth to be a mother of Jassem’s children, she learned cooking so that Jassem would like it, she did all that without telling him how she felt.
All that and she never knew how to put these feelings into words he could actually hear. Yet she expressed it through her acts, and thought it was enough, she didn’t speak them out.
Souad turns to Jassem with a smile, tells him with tears still on her cheeks, breathing fast, “It wasn’t just you’re fault Jassem, because I never told you that I love you. I never told you that you’re my whole life, and my soul. I’m just like you Jassem; I never managed to express my feelings to you. Maybe that’s the way our families are, our people, no one taught us to reveal our feelings or express our emotions. But, now I want to tell you, that if I didn’t know how to express my feelings before, you now taught me, and made able to tell you… I love you Jassem, I love you. And that is a bit of what I feel.”
THE END
[1] A reference to the Kuwaiti national football team that wears a blue T-shirt and white shorts.
[2] A Kuwaiti comedian player and actor
[3] A Kuwaiti comedian player and actress who shared Abdulhussein Abdlulredah a lot of his plays and TV dramas.
[4] A district on an island between two branches of the River Nile always inhabited by the high class people of the Egyptian society. It is, also, famous fro the large numbers of diplomats, actors and actresses who live and frequent its luxurious and expensive apartments and villas.
[5] The italicized words are all name of children songs recited in folk tales.
[6] Karkaan: children game in which they used to gather after breakfast in Ramadan to play with their small candle-lamps. They used to knock at the doors of the neighbors’ houses asking for some gifts, money or even food. This practice has nothing to do with begging. It is done by children as a practice encouraged by all classes to strengthen the relationship between kids and the elders of each community in the individual living areas. Ramadan is the month of fasting for Muslims. The time of fasting is from dawn till sunset.
[7] A Lebanese male singer who lived in Egypt and made all his songs in the Egyptian dialect. The majority of his songs are about love and the sufferings of lovers. His most famous son is dedicated for the arrival of the Spring- The translator’s note.
[8] An Iraqi singer- the translator’s note
[9] An Egyptian singer of Syrian origin- the translator’s note.
[10] A Lebanese singer who lived and made most of her songs in the Egyptian dialect. She is famous foe marrying too many husbands of different ages.
[11] An Egyptian belly-dancer
[12] A Kuwaiti female singer
[13] Home land
[14] Ruby
[15] Job